Tag: thinking-too-much

"pointless", all about me, is it just me?, mixed media, the catch-all-egory

pondering “thanks-giving”

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So this week is Thanksgiving here in America; and simply, the third week in November everywhere else. This year, for probably the first time ever, we aren’t going anywhere for Thanksgiving. Originally, we were asked to go to a friend’s house for the “festivities”, but a new job has put them working on this fake holiday. So, we are without plans, other than the typical, “get drunk and think about X”. While a part of me is relieved that I don’t have to worry about all of that food, and the typical turkey-induced coma that comes post feast, another part of me is left pondering the very existence of this “holiday”.

What are we really giving thanks for? Things are pretty shitty right now for the economy, we aren’t doing well with international relations, and we, as a nation, continue to marginalize ourselves; both from the rest of the world, as well as our “unwashed masses”. I guess we could give thanks for being able to eat, breathe, live, etc… but it really makes me think about how far away from the sense of “survival”, and the meaning of Thanksgiving in the first place. Are we really thankful for what we have anymore?

I hope that everyone does have a great couple of days off, and that you all enjoy your T-day festivities. This is in no way, meant to be a downer post… it is more of a reflective/duane-thinking-too-much-about-everything-in-the-world post if anything.

In other news… I have been playing Super Mario Galaxy, and it may be the #1 reason to get a Wii… it’s fantastic. I also got my “Christmas” presents yesterday; a bright and shiny new Nintendo DS with a couple of games. I am sure that James will hook me up with a couple more “little” things closer to the actual “holiday”, but this is pretty much my big ticket item. I am going to get his stuff probably this week too… there’s no need to wait when he will be out of town on the actual day, now is there? Perhaps the fact that I am becoming a Nintendo fanboy is reason enough to be thankful this week, eh?

all about me, hmm interesting, is it just me?, near and dear

I think that I expect too much sometimes

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Perhaps all of the time.

I think that I get my feelings hurt, or am disappointed, because I expect too much. Is it possible, that I put too much thought, guilt, worry, or anxiety into relationships, so much so, that I inadvertently cause the situation to go all weird? I wouldn’t think that this would be the case, because if it were, it would be the standard; and it isn’t.

I mean, I really don’t think that I do any of this outwardly, or even on purpose, but for whatever reason, I feel like there must be something that I do that makes people change. It is the only solution that I can come up with, although, it is really the only one that I can truly substantiate if it is reality. Again, I probably am over-analyzing things, but what if I am not? What if there is something that I do, something small, that causes these changes in my relationships with other people?

Maybe I expect too much. I don’t think that I do, but maybe I do… Maybe that is more of the problem than the actual situations that I find myself in from time to time; expecting too much will always mean that I am the one that is let down. I don’t know how I find myself here all of the time, but here I am, and it really upsets me. It really breaks you down to feel this way so much, and very rarely gain any resolve for the situation.

So why do I keep doing it? Why can’t I stop thinking for one minute, and just let things travel on their own? I honestly don’t know, but I know that I have always been this way, and if it is the problem, it is more than frustrating; it is debilitating and very upsetting, especially because it is unconscious. I want to just exist in a place where I am involved with people that understand me, and I don’t spend a lot of my time over-analyzing actions, words, or the lack of either. I don’t think that it is paranoia, because I am definitely experiencing it; but I do think that it could be that I expect too much sometimes.

I’m just going to put on my headphones, listen to some music, and try to forget myself for a little while. I am clearly thinking too much this morning. To top it all off, Sydney isn’t feeling well, and we had to take him into the vet yesterday for an IV and some tests. After they brought him out, I was holding him, and he just pissed all over me; without warning. Poor little guy. I just hope that he is feeling better soon… I know that my wallet would be happier as well.