Tag: stress

all about me, home improvement, the catch-all-egory

holy shit it’s may; an update

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I can’t believe we are in the 5th month of the year already. Damn, time is flying by.

So here’s a little update about what’s going on in duaneworld right now:
– We are still dealing with the bathroom remodel. This thing has seriously been 2 steps forward, 14 steps back. It is just a mountain of stress, and James and I have fought MANY times as a result. I am glad that in the end, we will get to take a nice relaxing spa shower to get over the stress. I am happy to report, however, that the last thing that the shower requires is the actual tiling and the installation of the door; we have framed everything out (plumbing too!), and the tiling SHOULD begin tonight (fingers crossed).
– Other than the bathroom, we haven’t been up to much. I need to write up a review of the Leslie Hall show from a couple of weeks ago (I know, mucho overdue), and I promise I will.
– We are seeing Death Cab For Cutie this week, and I am really excited about that; especially since it is my first time seeing them.
– That’s really about it… Oh yeah, as a friendly reminder, don’t forget to send you mother/grandmother/ any other mothers in your family a card/gift for Mother’s day… which is THIS Sunday!

Hope everyone is having a delightful (albeit dreadful) Monday! Other than an extended drive to work this morning, I am doing pretty well… seriously, Atlanta, how difficult is it to put up notice that the road is closed up ahead???! I mean, let us know before we go down the road and have to turn around; make things easier, won’t you?

all about me, blog on blog, music musings, school

a couple of quick notes about me of the now

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  • As November gets closer to its end, I am more and more excited (and at the same time, anxious) about my annual blogging tradition of picking, and blogging my top 31 CDs of the year. There are some amazing records on this year’s list, and with each week’s subsequent CD releases, it’s only make things more difficult for me at this point. A wide variety of music tastes will be represented, so make sure you tune in all month long in December for each new entry.
  • I got the test results back for my fourth Microbiology test today: I got a 93. With an 87, a 97, and a 90 on the previous tests, as well as the professor dropping our lowest test, I am going into the final with a 93 test average. Let’s just say that this is very unexpected to say the least. Here’s hoping I can turn out an A in this class! I need it for my GPA!
  • Speaking of school, I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t get into Kennesaw for Summer. While I am definitely bummed about it, I am looking at it as a potential blessing; perhaps I wasn’t supposed to go to KSU? Perhaps I wasn’t meant to go that semester? Whatever happens, I am moving forward with GSU, and I am going to re-apply to KSU for fall. I am going to be a nurse, goddammit! You will not stop me! (I do have to say though, that the program at KSU is TINY, and they said that there were over 400 applicants, so I shouldn’t feel so bad about it. There just aren’t a lot of program options in Metro Atlanta for nursing; no wonder there’s a shortage.)
  • I got the shading done on my phoenix half-sleeve last night, and it is REALLY looking quite amazing now. I can’t wait for the color to be done, but that is at least a month or so out… right now, I am just tending to my tender flesh after last night’s needling. I have to say though, that it is no where NEAR as tender as it was last time for whatever reason; and I am not complaining in anyway about it!

all about me, hmm interesting, is it just me?, well?

existential thoughts

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This morning on the way in to work, I think I starting thinking about things, and really started observing everyone around me. We were all on our way somewhere… but why? What was driving us (not the car, I’m not being that literal)?

What drives us, everyday, to stay in the same job, live in the same house, and keep getting back up and going, day after day? I don’t often talk about what I do, but everyone knows that reads this blog, that I am trying to go back to school for nursing; which would certainly mean a change in career at some point. However, this morning, I am thinking to myself; what is driving me?

I thought about this yesterday when I read about the stock market crash, and I really thought about how much money people were losing; money that we are all scraping and saving to put away for that day when we can “finally retire, and start to enjoy life”. Fuck that! I am a realist, and I don’t foresee a time that I will be able to ever afford to supplement the amount of money I make right now with just savings, unless I win the lottery. The only way that I am going to be able to make it, is to work my whole life (which is the story for a lot of people), so retirement is really this “dream” that I am living my whole life for, working so hard for, and I will probably never see it.

So again, I ask myself, “what drives you?”. What is it that keeps you from opening a record store, or having a bakery, or having a website that actually makes money? What drives you to stay on the course you are on, and prevents us from deviating? People have businesses for everything; why not me? I’m not really trying to get an “answer” here, I am just reflecting, and I thought, why not see what other people think about this… what drives YOU? I mean, what makes you go down the path you are on, and what do you think prevents you from changing course, direction, or even stopping right where you currently stand?

Surely, fear cannot be the only thing that drives us… I know that is it in part, but it cannot, it just cannot be it. If it is… I think that I am going to work on having another driving force in my life; overcoming that damn fear.

(side note: I just noticed that this was my 1001th post; interesting.)

all about me, school, venting

…deep breath… put on a smile… there you go…

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So after looking back over the requirements for applying to GSU (again), it looks like I have to take two MORE classes BEFORE the program semester in which I am applying. I knew that I had to take them, but was unclear if I had to take them BEFORE the program started. Oh well, because there is no way I could have done anything about that before this spring anyway, because they have to be taken AT GSU, and I only got in recently for spring. So, I guess I will just take them in the spring, and postpone applying to the program, and instead, apply for fall; which is definitely frustrating, but not the end of the world. Seriously, it just seems like so many hurdles to go back to school; no wonder there is a shortage of nurses. They make it so difficult to do something simple (such as fulfill requirements), and it seems like time has got to be your friend… you need it to get where you can finally get into a program. Also, it is so difficult to work and go back to school… people that do it really know what I am talking about. Thank GOD my job is flexible.

Given this bad-ish news, the good news is that I did apply to KSU, and I don’t know the status of that application. I REALLY hope that I can get in there, which would make it more attractive to go there; I could start next summer. I like the idea of going to another school too, because I have already been to GSU; even though going to GSU is so much closer to my house. Additionally, I am scared shitless about what I am going to do for money during the time that I am school; I have no idea how to supplement my salary without working. I don’t want to take out a shitload of loans, but it seems like that might by my best option as of right now. I wonder how much they let students borrow; especially if they have loads of loans already under their belt? I guess I will find out, and then freak out accordingly. Again, how do people do this?!

I just feel so tied up, and I feel like I am wiggling, and wiggling, but the ropes are only slightly loosening. I just want to get there, and it seems like I have spent over a year of doing nothing but hurrying up to wait more… and all that lies before me is more waiting.

It’s just frustrating. Really, really frustrating. However, I KNOW that I just have to take deep breaths, put a smile on my face, and keep moving. But that doesn’t make it easy to do so. I guess I should just keep repeating that to myself, because days like this, it is really, really hard. Sorry to have a downer of a post, but eh, there it is. I’m dealing, so that’s all I have for you. Maybe something more upbeat will put a real smile on my face soon… here’s hoping.

all about me, happenings, photography, shiny stuff

maybe it’s a sign?

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Well, I have had a pickle of a time with trying to apply to the accelerated RN program at Perimeter, which has gotten me thinking; MAYBE this is a sign. Maybe I should be just applying to a regular BSN accelerated program; and there are two who’s deadlines are months away. So… that’s what I think I am going to do.

The only thing is, that I will have to do it full time, so I will have to figure out some way to attract a magic money fairy in order to sustain my lifestyle. Shit, maybe I’ll just borrow more money; I ONLY have 40k in student loans right now… what’s 30k more? Either way, it may not be what I planned, but it was originally what I wanted to do, so maybe it’s for the best. Now… here’s hoping I can get in. Jeez… Stress!

Also, I am seriously lusting after this lens (actually using it at lunch DID NOT HELP). I know that I said “for my birthday”, but I really want it now (don’t we all want things right away when we want them?). I am thinking about getting it soon, because I am going to NYC in a couple of weeks, and it would be PERFECT for my trip. It is difficult to justify such a massive expense, but it is worth it, right? Why can’t I win the damn lottery already??!

Ah… the things in life we stress over, right? Oh yeah, and it’s damn hot out too! HA!

all about me, blog on blog, happenings, venting

*hiccup*

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So, in a moment of boredom, earlier today I thought of a great idea… look for a potential new theme for this site. During that process, I had another genius idea; upgrade to WordPress 2.5.1!! To be honest, I have no idea what version I was running, but whatever version it was was kind of old, because I haven’t upgraded in a long time; if ever.

So I upgraded. Then the hilarity ensued. I fucked up by not deactivating my plugins, and low and behold, a tag plugin ate the blog. I deleted it, and we are up and running again; but I need to find another plugin I can use for that function (fyi, it was called Ultimate tag warrior). Then, the sidebar was all fucked up. I remember when widgets came on the scene, and being the late adopter I am with some things, I opted to wait it out… that was, until today when it fucked up my shit.

Well, I seem to have fixed it, and I am actually happy that it let’s you do a drop down list of categories and archives… I always thought they made the page look too stuffy. Anyway, I still haven’t found a theme I like (well, other than this one, which is the most beautiful theme I have ever seen… which is rather fitting, I guess, since he invented wordpress), so I might get crazy and try and tweak this one again. Sometimes, I am just never satisfied.

/gah

"pointless", all about me, listen up!, music musings, music suggestion, the catch-all-egory

listless on monday… not I!

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Well, there seems to be so many thoughts going through my head right now, that I figure it’s time for a good old fashioned Monday list, dig?

Let’s do this!

  • I took my Anatomy lab final last week, and I have my last two finals this week. I can’t tell you how much I want to be done with Anatomy. Seriously, the level of detail in this class is RIDICULOUS, and if you have taken it, you know that there is no reason to take this class other than to fulfill a requirement. I think that is what pisses me off the most about it, is because they are not teaching it to you for you to learn it, they are teaching it to you in order to force you to think whether you really want to do whatever required this class. Seriously, you will never, I repeat NEVER need to know the level of detail that we covered this year in two classes. And if you do, chances are about 99% that your job title will be Anatomist, or Anatomy teacher. So yeah. I can’t wait until these finals are in the bag.
  • I am taking the summer off from classes. I recently came to the realization that I should focus on getting my RN, and then I can get my BSN through an online bridge once I start working as a nurse. This means that I will be applying for the Spring of ’09, which gives me the chance to take Micro in the fall, and still meet the requirements for admission. I really, really hope I can get in, because I want to keep this train moving!
  • There have been some great CDs coming out since the beginning of the year, but tomorrow marks two great releases; both of which are WAY overdue, and one that it is utterly brilliant. Tomorrow, there is a new Portishead CD coming out (the first in 10 years!!!), and after several listens, I can definitely tell you that it is a solid record. It grows on me with each listen. Also, FINALLY, Robyn‘s self titled fourth CD comes out here in the USA; even though it came out way back in 2005 overseas. However, I can guarantee you that I will use every bit of liberty in this new release date, and this CD WILL be on my top CDs of 2008 list, because I have wanted to include it for 2 years now, but couldn’t because it came out in 2005. I swore to myself that if it ever did drop in the US, that it would make this list, because this CD is brilliant (five stars, easy), and has definitely stood the test of time. It is an amazing pop record, and you owe it to yourself to pick it up tomorrow.
  • I have really (much more than I expected) been enjoying Mariah’s new CD as well. It is actually VERY well done. I know that it is supposed to be a continuation of the Emancipation of Mimi, but I definitely think that it surpasses her previous record by leaps and bounds. It is rare that I listen to a hip hop record and really like every song, and with this new release, Mariah may have made a record that does that for me. There are a few songs that I would make minor changes to, but overall, it’s pretty amazing. Good show Mariah! I didn’t see that one coming at all, but then again, that is the best when you get surprised by good music from unexpected places, now isn’t it?
  • Also speaking of music, this week I get to see the amazing Sara Bareilles in concert. I think that it goes without saying that I can’t wait for that!!!!
  • Other than school and music, I guess there isn’t TOO much going on with me. I have come down with a SERIOUS case of anhedonia lately, otherwise known as a case of FUCK IT, which couldn’t have worse timing (finals week!). Things have been up and down at the house, from unexpected water leaks, to having to install kick-proof guards on our doors because the neighbor’s house had the front door kicked in. I am just glad we did it BEFORE something happened at our place… it is much better to spend the $80 up front than have your house broken into (and I am not saying that it means we can’t get broken into, but this makes it almost impossible to kick the door in… I saw the video online… and that is the way they usually break in).
  • Anything else going on… hmm, not sure. If I think of anything, I will update as necessary. Until then, what is going on with you guys??
  • Finally, related to the aforementioned love for Mariah’s newest CD, I think that the following performance (video below), and her reaction during it, make me love her just that much more. As seen on chart rigger, Mariah’s back up singer sang over her during one part of the song (at 3:06), and Mimi bitchily reminded miss thang that she had better “stop singing her part now, baby”. Damn, that was ice cold!! I love it!!! Seriously though, if you don’t want to back up a diva like Mariah, and you think you should be in the lead, why not do it instead of working for her?? She is the diva, not you, so you need to get used to it. It just makes me love Mimi even more, and I glad that I got to see it. Get her Mimi! HAHAHAHAHA!

"pointless", all about me, is it just me?, mixed media, politics, the catch-all-egory, well?

what to blog?

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What is there to blog about?

Not having the list to work on, I find that I am not very interested in blogging about the topics swirling in my head these days. Yet, for the sake of sparking possible conversation, let’s say I did blog these thoughts; what would they be?

  • I find myself wondering, if at some point in the (near) future, if we will have to explain to children what winter means. Seriously, in the South, we don’t really have one anymore, and if the climate keeps going the way that it is, it will be 90 in February at some point. Scary thought, really.
  • Does anyone really care that much about the caucus races? At least in the beginning? Neither party has actually come out and said, “we want X”, so I am just wondering why everyone is so “point happy” right now. It’s going to be a while before anything really worth paying attention to happens, so I guess this is going to be a long year. It really makes you wonder why people are encouraged and allowed to waste so much money on simply campaigning; when it could be used to actually solve the problems they talk incessantly about fixing.
  • Any good music out there lately? I feel like I have hit a wall, and I am not taking in anything right now. Perhaps it was because of the overload from last month’s list. Who knows, the hunger is still there, if anyone has something they want to suggest.
  • School started back this week. I am taking Anatomy II and Abnormal Psychology. I really hope that this semester goes better than the last one did. I got really good grades, but I was really stressed the whole time. Here’s hoping for a better time this time around.
  • Anything I’m missing?

What’s going out there in the internets? Hello? Is this thing on? Sometimes I just feel like no one is listening/reading, and people are just whizzing by, living their daily lives, while I inexplicably fall into the drab mundane routine I have found myself in for the past several years. Here’s to change in 2008… right?

Eh. Whatever…

all about me, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, music suggestion, venting

a note about my year end list (which is causing me a little stress)

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I want to start by saying that I have actually had a hard time trying to “list” out my top records for this year in “order”, because there are different things I like about each record, and to be completely honest and evenly fair, they really don’t compare. In fact, the further into this list I get, the more I realize that I am not ranking these records at all; if something gets 4 stars, it is getting 4 stars, and essentially, it is just as good as every other record that got 4 stars, and as such, it has made my year end list with a 4 star rating.

This is something that has become more apparent as I review these records, and listen to them again; where many of them leave me wondering why I don’t listen to them more, mainly because of how great they actually are. However, for whatever reason, some records are more “popular” with me, and as such, I have listened to them more, which, for whatever reason, had me hold out on listing them in a half-assed attempt to “rank” them. But no more.

I really don’t think that can compare the Shins and Hilary Duff; and I am not trying to. Both of those records I really enjoy, and they have both made my year end list, and both have 4 star ratings; each for reasons that are unique to those records. Man, rating and ranking things really does stress a girl out. So, from here on, just look at this less like a “rank” or “order”, and more of a list of the greatest from 2007… of course, star ratings definitely rank things, so focus more on that, rather than the order in which the record shows up on my list; and keep in mind that you can’t compare apples and oranges… so I’m not trying to. A four star is a four star, and a five star is a five star. In some cases (which will become more so with the “top” records, as I get closer to the end of this countdown), there really will be a “more enjoyable” factor that really will influence when and where a CD falls on this list; but for the most part, the star rankings are more indicative than anything else.

Whew! This has just been an unnecessary cause of stress; I know I feel better… how about you? I never thought that this would stress me out, but I suppose if anyone could, I know that I could find stress in something that is supposed to bring me joy. Oh the joy in that. Now… back to the list!

all about me, is it just me?, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, music suggestion, venting, well?

please don’t stop the music *clap clap*

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December is rapidly approaching, and I am narrowing down my picks for my year end “best of music 2007” December blog-a-thon. I don’t even know if anyone will care or not, but I am excited. I also need to get back into my old podcast, which I haven’t done in ages… I guess I’ll have to put that on my list.

Either way, I have been listening to music non-stop, because there have been some great CDs come out in the past few weeks, many of which will make my year end list. There is just so much to absorb! I think that I like music, and sharing it, because it really is one of the only things that can truly make me feel good. I also really love being surprised by something, and it being really good. There really is nothing like hearing a really amazing song; it gets me energized, and totally takes me to a good place. I love that, and that very thing has been happening a lot lately. 2007 has proven to be a good year for me, musically, and I look forward to blogging about that next month.

One thing, however that is a cause of much strife and grief for me, is my last.fm profile. I don’t know why, but I find myself kind of obsessing about it, and lately, even more so. After iTunes decided it wanted to delete my playlists, the last.fm client decided it no longer wanted to scrobble my ipod tracks. This SUCKS, because I listen to music all day at work, and I really want those tracks on my profile. I have tried reinstalling iTunes, and the last.fm client; both with no luck. If there is any advice or help that anyone can give me, I am all ears; I like last.fm, and I like the whole idea of it, and want to actually use it!!! Help!

Other than enjoying the hell out of some great pop records (Shayne Ward, Kylie Minogue, Girls Aloud, Sugababes, etc.) in the recent weeks, I have been slowly counting down to the end of this semester. I am so ready to have these two classes under my belt, and I hope that once I am finished with them, I will regain some of my momentum. They have just both been demanding, and frustrating. I can’t wait until the next two weeks are over! Let’s hope that next semester (and all subsequent following ones) is much better!

I also made some color/border changes to the blog template… thoughts?