Tag: shameful

civil rights, is it just me?, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

Maine votes against gay marriage: some thoughts

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Yesterday, Maine’s vote sent a(nother) clear message to me: gay people do not matter to the majority of Americans. I am sure that many will argue that this is not the position of most Americans, but the message is too clear to ignore. Our civil rights are constantly up for debate, and constantly, we have them taken away. I cannot interpret that as anything other than a message that we do not matter; this society does not see fit to grant us the same rights and liberties as the rest of Americans.

It’s interesting, because this same society gladly takes our tax money, our contributions to society, and expects us to serve our country, but people continue to pass laws that reflect whether or not they feel “comfortable” with the “idea” of us getting married? Um, how does that work? That’s not just “unfair”, it’s un-American.

Isn’t the constitution supposed to grant freedom; not take it away? Additionally, isn’t the constitution supposed to protect us from the government making decisions about whether or not to strip us of our civil rights? Where are the values and principles that represent the underlying foundation of this nation? They are glaringly absent when you look at any vote for or against anyone’s civil rights. This bears repeating: voting for or against anyone’s rights goes against the very foundation of this country. We are all supposed to be free and equal. By putting this up for a vote, more than half of the people in Maine have gone against the foundation of our nation, and have made it clear that they feel as if it is okay to make the decision against gay people being equal.

Again, how does this make sense?

Every time we vote for or against the civil rights of any group of people in this country, especially minorities, we are sending a clear message that their rights do not matter. No one should ever have to campaign to have the popular vote determine whether or not they can have the same rights as everyone else. It’s just plain wrong.

Shame on 53% of Maine voters for believing that their opinion matters more than the rights of gays and lesbians living in Maine. Since this isn’t the first, and it will not be the last time that our rights are in the hands of those that wish to discriminate, I also say shame on any American who thinks that their opinion matters more than someone’s civil rights.

One final thing. In looking for the results of the vote this morning, I came across this article, and I have to comment on the quote from Jeff Flint:

Voters have a pretty good grasp about what they think marriage should be. It’s not that they’re discriminatory or bigoted. They just draw the line at what they think marriage should be.

Um, what? I’m sorry, but I will never allow anyone who says bullshit like this to have a free pass. If you are against gay marriage, you are against it because of discrimination; that is what you voted on. You voted specifically in order to discriminate against gay people. Jeff, just because you are able to some how twist your illogical thoughts into what you consider rational doesn’t not get you off the hook. You represent a discriminatory body of Americans that have “values” and beliefs that are most certainly based on bigotry. You can’t take away someone’s rights and say that you did it for “personal reasons” or “personal beliefs”, and then in the same breath say, “but I have nothing against them”. Perhaps he should actually look up the word discrimination, because I don’t think he understands the concept.

Perhaps he, and others like him, should keep their opinions to themselves, and stop using them to determine whether or not someone else should or should not have equal rights. Feel free to define marriage however you want; just don’t decide how I, or anyone else, has access to my civil rights.

get involved, is it just me?, near and dear, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

teacher furloughs: a new low for Perdue

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When James mentioned that they were going to be asking teachers to take 3 unpaid days to “make up for a huge deficit”, I honestly thought he was joking. Since he is teacher, I have had a first hand account of out what really goes on inside the schools, and it actually blows my mind that our governor would want to take even more from those that have very little to give.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the salary of a teacher isn’t a large one, and the job is grueling. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him deal with horrible students, angry parents, and have the administration turn their backs on him every time; and he is not alone, MANY of my friends are teachers and deal with similar issues every day. He works his ass off, and the thanks he gets is a meager salary (ESPECIALLY when you consider the work put in, it should be MUCH higher), zero respect from students, parents, and the administration; and now a demand from our “wonderful” governor to give some of it back. How much do teachers need to give before we let THEM have something back?!

Since everyone should be giving back, Sonny Perdue, why not give some of your salary back? If this deficit is such an issue, why not make cuts on other things, things that are not as important as the education of our state’s youth? I can’t find a direct comparison, but I’ve heard many times that Georgia’s school rank very low when compared nationally, which to me, would indicate a severe NEED to make it as good as possible. Taking from those that give so much for so little is not only wrong, but frankly, it is completely insulting. Someone that is sitting so happily in his ivory tower as Perdue could never, and apparently will never, grasp how difficult the job of teaching youth really is; hell, I only hear the stories, and I know that I could never do it. To me, this is a slap in the face of our state’s teachers, who already contend with a drastically underfunded educational program in the first place.

It sickens me the way that teachers are treated, because it is perhaps one of the most (if not THE most) important jobs one can have. Sonny Perdue, this is not only wrong, it is shameful and hurtful that you would expect even more from those that give everything they have, and take a pay cut in doing so. I hope that the rallying of teachers can strike this ridiculous request down, but knowing how “caring” Perdue has been up until this point, I can bet that teachers should expect just another big old helping of shit to add to their already difficult professional lives. Shame shame shame.

is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, show the love, that is so gay, venting

the myth of the gay ideal

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… and those that are hurt most by it.

Imagine my surprise at what I read on my buddy Vince’s blog yesterday. I can’t believe that people could be so cruel to such a great person. Seriously, it has become more and more clear to me during my tenure as an out gay man, that being fat somehow makes you less of a man in the gay community.

It is a pretty clear (and actually quite accurate) stereotype that the tongue of a gay man can be as sharp as a knife, and when criticism comes out of a gay man’s mouth, it will certainly cut to the bone. Gay men seem to have this amazing ability to criticize, demean, belittle, and insult things they see as worthy of that negative attention, mostly because we have been schooled so expertly in the craft of criticism. I know I learned a lot about criticism and insult, and I would bet that many learned it as I did; by being on the receiving end of said criticism. Because of our continual experience with being hurt, we learned how to turn it around, even expertly, on the world that hurt us. But, the more I slip outside of that notion of a “gay community”, and go out to bars less and less, I notice more and more how this criticism is not only reserved for our attackers; we use it against other gays, and in that action, become just like those that hurt us.

I remember sitting in my 7th grade class, with my head down on my desk, while the boys in the class continually called me a girl, and one even put a tampon on my chair between my legs. I could barely hold back tears, and all the while, the teacher did nothing to stop it. I can remember being insulted in the halls, ridiculed in the lunch room, and criticized for being gay at every turn; all the way through school. And as such, I am an expert in criticism. Unfortunately, like many gay men, I turned my criticism inwards, and I criticise everything about myself; my weight, my appearance, everything I do, everything I make, etc. Unfortunately, many gay men, once they come out and get a sense of feeling good about themselves because of the acceptance they receive from the gay community, they take that criticism one step too far; they instantly turn some it outward towards those that don’t fit that perfect “gay standard”.

Boys with more than 5% body fat, and those that can’t wear the skin tight jeans and t-shirts are the first to get that criticism. It is typical, too typical, for the “perfect” gay men to criticize, and even look through gay men that weren’t blessed with perfect genes, or those that aren’t willing to kill themselves in the gym (or take tina) just to fit into a pair of 32s. Instantly, all of that criticism that hurt us so badly when we were growing up is coming out of our mouths, being used to describe members of our own community. How can we scream at the top of our lungs about equality and community, when we constantly whisper behind the fat, short, balding, “less than perfect” guy’s backs? How can we do this and not be hypocrites?

I for one like my chunky boys. Most of the people who know me know this. I don’t want some skinny thing, I want a man. I want a man with chest hair and a little bit of meat on him, six pack abs are totally lost on me. If you want to impress me, you are wasting your time with that “perfect body” crap. But unfortunately, the gay community doesn’t share my view; there is so much pressure to be that “prefect” guy, that we have divided ourselves, and instead of actually being a community, we have sectioned off ourselves to associating with the small groups of likeness based on body types. The gym boys hang with the gym boys. The bears hang with the bears. And there is very little intermingling.

And why is that? Because of the criticism. Both sides have their criticisms, but I would bet that the criticism coming from the gym boys is stronger, because it is reflective of both society’s negative view of heavier people, coupled with the increased pressure created by the gay community itself. How hard must it be to finally get the courage to come out and seek acceptance from those like you, only to have insult come from the group that is supposed to be just like you? It is something that many see, but for some reason, it still goes on.

I say, that if we truly want to be a community, we need to stop clinging to this myth of a gay “ideal”. The real truth, is that many of those guys that are killing themselves in the gym (or are just taking tina), have immense amounts of internal pressure on them to maintain that “perfect body”. They are so terrified to get “fat”, because of the realization that they would fall victim to the very criticism they themselves sling at fat gay men. But, if we didn’t do that to gay men in the first place, hopefully some of that pressure would be lifted, and everyone would be a little happier. My point is, it is shameful to prance around like you are somehow better than someone else because they are fat, and you have six pack abs. We are all a part of the gay community, fat and thin, and we gays need to stop overly enforcing the social oppression that we face by turning it inward on our own. If you have a problem with someone just because of their weight, and feel the need to be cruel (as the person was to Vince), obviously, there are some issues that you have to work out. In the mean time, would you mind being a little bit more considerate, as the rest of the community still has feelings, and only wants a little acceptance from the other gays, okay? Thanks.