Tag: sex

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octopus: a MUST see

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Yesterday, James and I went to a matinée showing of Steve Yockey’s amazing play, Octopus. I have been very eager to see the show, especially since Steve had sent me the script last year, and when I read it, I was completely moved by it. When he told me it was going to be put on at Actor’s Express, I was delighted for him, and anxious to see it brought to life.

The play deals with issues and consequences that can come from “having a little fun”, and not paying attention to the great monster that is waiting at the bottom of the sea. Octopus expertly uses an interestingly playful, as well as frightful, metaphor in order to tackle intense issues surrounding relationships, and what happens when things suddenly change; even when you promised each other that they wouldn’t.

The show was moving, poignant, gripping, and at times, even laugh out loud funny. I could really feel what the actors were saying, and really identified with many of the main characters. Being gay, and in a relationship myself, it is hard to think about what would happen if something unexpected, and horrible, were to suddenly thrust itself between us. Would we react in the way that those characters did? Hopefully, I will never have to answer that question myself.

Now, I know that I am being cryptic, but honestly, I don’t want to give away the very thing that the play seeks to show you; the message is strong, and really does hit close to home.

It succeeds on every level; it is entertaining, and it really engages you and forces you to think about the consequences of your actions. Just because you get lost in the moment during a random sexual encounter, doesn’t mean that there won’t be massive ramifications to both you and your partner. Steve uses the unseen “monster” to truly hammer home the point that a lack of attention to the truth of consequence is really missing for many young (and old) gay men in today’s dangerous world. He makes a strong statement about how denial and ignorance only make you defenseless in preventing the beast from devouring you, or someone that you love. He goes further to challenge you into seeing that consequences are often not very easy to deal with for either partner, and sometimes, those reactions are devastating in and of themselves. It was masterfully written, and the stage direction and effects are phenomenal.

You must see Octopus. It will move you, and it may even make you want to cry, but it reminds us to be mindful of our actions, and know that there are consequences to everything that we do and say; especially within the concept of a relationship. Being mindful is the key to preventing that monster from devouring us all.

Octopus is playing NOW at Actor’s Express, and on through February 23. Don’t miss it!!!

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contraception to be offered to middle school students; and?

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So apparently, there is a slight hub-bub about kids being offered contraceptives after an “outbreak” of pregnancies among middle school kids. AND?

Now, regardless of any objection about providing contraceptives for any reason, I want to know why we are not providing them with sex education that is the most effective? Wouldn’t that eliminate the need for this “controversial” take on preventing teenage pregnancy? How come our government still clings to the utter nonsense that is abstinence only education?

If people still think that kids are not having sex, and want to continue with the utter and complete BULLSHIT that is abstinence only education, I seriously think they need to be beaten about the head and shoulders; in hopes that it would knock some fucking sense into them. The time to reform sex education is BEFORE a string of pregnancies; which I might need to remind people that focus on abstinence only education, is caused by having sex. That’s right! Kids are totally doing it, no matter how far you want to go in convincing yourself that they are not.

What really got me worked up in reading this article, is that it mentions that condoms are available, but it doesn’t say to what capacity that they are recommended. Under federal guidelines for sex education, it is my knowledge that they would not be recommended at all, and in some cases, even discouraged, and represented as an ineffective means of preventing pregnancy and STDs. To piggyback on that thought, it really frustrates me that they are so willing to try and prevent pregnancy, without any thought or stance on preventing STD transmission. Sure, having a baby is a big deal, but so is getting HIV! Where’s the concern? (did someone say, love the fetus, hate the child? oh…)

For me, this totally relates to whether girls getting a vaccine for cervical cancer, and how it could be seen as “controversial”. If you can PREVENT a disease by practicing certain things, why wouldn’t you want to encourage those things among the greater population? In all seriousness, to continue to follow this “bury your head in the sand and it will go away” method of treating our nation’s children and their “non” behaviors, is about as backward thinking as it can get. The whole take our government has on childhood sexual education makes me want to fucking scream. Grrrr….

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two things Tuesday: evolution and condoms

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Kind of different; kind of the same, no? Both of these things have people up in arms, and I just wanted to throw in my two cents; for whatever it’s worth.

Evolution:
Basically, the issue with evolution (this time), is that a local republican state representative sent out a memo stating that evolution shouldn’t be taught in schools because it is a religious deception that was derived from an ancient Jewish religious sect. Basically, his memo is stating that evolution not actually secular science, and is instead a so-called “creation scenario”, that is actually based on the “Christ hating” ancient Jews, and that it was written a couple millenia ago. Okay, let me get this straight, the Jews made up the Big Bang theory? Those crazy Jews came up with this myth to explain the beginning of the world and to explain life on earth, and they called it evolution?! Damn! They are crazy!!! OH WAIT, YOU DOUCHE, not only are you being anti-semitic (surprise), the Jews didn’t make up the Big Bang theory, and it actually isn’t a myth, it is a theory that is still pondered by scientists. You do know what scientists are, don’t you? They are people that use facts to put together ideas about things… and in this case, they continually use the facts they know about and learn about the world, and all of the stuff in it, in order to come up with a good idea of where it came from. See, the difference between a myth and theory, is that one is based on science, and one isn’t. Okay? So it’s pretty clear to me, and MANY others, that evolution is science, and is not a myth. You can believe that if you want, but leave the Jews out of it, okay? And don’t try to use this as your crazy Christian reasoning for keeping it out of schools, you anti-Semite!

Obviously, he denies writing the memo, but regardless if he actually wrote it or not, it goes without saying that people like this guy shouldn’t be allowed to have any political power; all they do is confuse those that are already ignorant. You know that there is going to be someone out there that supports this “idea”, and that is just one person too many. Also, to further illustrate his memo’s off-the-wallness, not only is he saying this about evolution, he also believes that the earth isn’t rotating, and that we aren’t actually going around the sun. I suppose sunrise and sunset are magic then, right? Ugh, people like this make me want to just bang my head on my desk and scream, WTF!?!?! The Anti-Defamation League is going after him, so I hope that he isn’t re-elected. If people like this make it into politics, that is one more reason to fear the government, right? Jesus.

Condoms:
So, NYC has a great idea; let’s make a NYC condom, and hand it out FOR FREE all over the city, in order to curtail the incidence of HIV!! Sounds good, right? It does to me!!! HELL YEAH!

But of course… “NO!”, shouts the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church came out against the condom, stating that you should practice abstinence before marriage, and practice fidelity within marriage to prevent HIV. (They’ve also preached up and down in the past about how condoms aren’t effective at preventing HIV anyway, which they are totally wrong about). Hmm… Let’s look at this from their perspective: perhaps 95000+ known cases of HIV in NYC, is evidence that they are doing such a good job of what you want already, that there is no need for something OTHER than that old abstinence/marriage shtick. Oh, 95000 sounds like a lot to you? Well, it does to me too! Perhaps what you are saying isn’t working? Oh snap!

Listen, if you don’t approve of contraception, realize that condoms do more than that, they protect against HIV! THAT is the reason this program was started… to decrease the incidence of HIV in NYC!! I am so sick of religion poking its nose in issues related to health; it is pretty clear that they have absolutely no idea that what they say and what they do actually causes more health problems. If you really cared, and if you were actually as compassionate as your religion dictates that you should be, then you would want more people to live life without suffering from chronic diseases; regardless of your views on sex. Free condoms won’t increase sex, it will allow for future sex to be SAFER sex… And that is a great thing. All I have to say is a HUGE Bravo(!!!!!) to NYC, and an even bigger BOO(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to the Catholic Church. I would like to know: when are we, as a society, going to be mature enough to stop putting our heads in the religious sand and actually do something about sexually transmitted diseases, like HIV? We have got to get over this fear of sex, or we will NEVER get rid of HIV, and that scares me, because I truly don’t know if we are all capable of such logical thinking; enough to actually make changes and decrease disease. I do have hope when I see cities like NYC taking it seriously, though… Perhaps Atlanta will follow suit?? Come on you guys! Don’t be afraid of the church! They will get their panties all tied up in knots, while we all can have access to free condoms… it’s a win win, as far as I see it. Way to stick to your guns, NYC, and show your dedication to public health.

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go J.Hud!!1!!!1! and hanky panky (well, the talk of)

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So, basically, I have been going nuts over Dreamgirls for a while here on the blog, and last night, the Golden Globes recognized our girl Jennifer Hudson as the best supporting actress!! You go girl! I am so happy for her, because it was definitely not her time when she was voted off AI, and this just goes to show that sometimes, not winning doesn’t mean the end. I certainly hope she can parlay this into a successful career, because we need more people like her around!

You would think, though, like a good little queer, I would have been hosting a fabulous GG party last night to partake in the festivities and cheer on the aforementioned diva, but interestingly enough, we did have people over, but none of us watched TV. In fact, we all just hung out in the living room and talked. It was actually quite nice. It was like getting to know your friends, which is just interesting, because, well, we are all friends already, but sometimes you learn things about each other by talking (that’s right! No TV, talking, WTF?!?!111!!). It reminded me of when we waited all night outside Target for the Wii… same thing as last night, but there was more drinking last night, and it was not cold. And, well, we weren’t sitting outside a Target all night long.

What was interesting about last night, though, was that the conversation quickly made a turn when we decided to have a rousing game of “never have I ever…”. Needless to say, it was quite fun to see who had done what, and who hadn’t done it at all. I learned a lot about what goes on in some of my friend’s bedrooms, and what has gone on in public places as well. While it was fun, and definitely interesting, I have to say that I solidified something that I only sort of believed about myself: I am definitely a prude when it comes to sex. Most of my friends have done this, that, and the other, by themselves, with one, two, or three, and well, me, I just haven’t. Of course I have done the deed, but for the most part, I am pretty vanilla when it comes to hanky panky.

Now, I am not saying that there is a “requirement” to do more things sexually, or need to be more sexually “adventurous”, but I never went through the so-called “whore” phase when I came out, and as such, haven’t really done that much sexually (because supposedly, this is when most gay men reach a sexual awakening, and go, well, buck wild). Mostly, this is because of my thoughts on sex, a lot of which stems from my upbringing, where I didn’t learn anything about sex until I found it out on my own. Couple that with good old fashioned guilt about everything, and you have someone that thought for the longest time that sex before marriage was a big old sin that should never be committed. Sure, it may be a sin, but I really, really was against it. Thank goodness that I am not so weird about it any more, but I still can’t seem to shake that little “oh no! we couldn’t do that!!!” bird that sits on my shoulder, and to this day, I really don’t know where it came from (or why it won’t go away!). But I guess I can say this; I have been a careful boy. I am safe today as a result. That is a definite plus. But, I can’t help but feel like I may have missed out on some stuff. Now, I know it is never too late, but that little bird is still there, so I don’t know how much I will (if ever) do differently. Now, I am not fretting or anything, and it is definitely c’est la vie for sure, because it is, after all, just sex, but it was interesting to find out that my thoughts that I may be Prudence McPrude was actually a pretty spot on reality. It doesn’t change how much I think about sex, or how much I love looking at the mens, but it definitely curbs my actions. I guess you could say that I am definitely a think-before-you-act kinda guy… and maybe that isn’t SO bad.