Tag: nursing

all about me, school

worrywart

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That might as well be my middle name.

Ever since I can remember, I have worried, and worried, and worried about everything. Crap that I can control, crap that I can’t control, crap that I shouldn’t even worry about; I even worry that I worry to much.

However, I can’t seem to turn it off. I just can’t. *insert very frustrated face here*

That being said, I have made it past the half-way point of my first semester of nursing school, and while I am doing well, I find myself worrying about my future. Will I be able to get a good job? Will I be able to get into a good BSN program, and then a MSN program? Will I be able to do what I want to do? Worry, worry, worry.

I sit around and think about these things all of the time, there’s no stopping me. I wish I knew how to shut down, and relax, but I think I’m just hardwired to worry. So I guess I’ll just worry, and try not to worry about it. Ugh.

Either way, things are well my way, and I feel bad about neglecting this here blog; but I’m not going to add that to my big ole pile of worry, because that would just be silly, because I clearly have more than enough to worry about already.

all about me, five song friday, school

well, I guess that wasn’t SO hard…

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I just finished my second day of clinical rotation at Grady, and I can definitely say that I am going to learn to breathe exclusively through my mouth when doing certain tasks.

Overall, the experience has been extremely overwhelming, but I think that with time, I will be more accustomed to things. I knew nursing wasn’t an easy profession, and I knew kind of what to expect in the beginning, but seeing it in your face, full glory-spread eagle is quite another thing entirely. Here’s to taking things one step at a time, and the learning process.

With regards to the 5SF, I am going to have to do it every other week, because as it stands now, I have clinical every other Friday, and when I have to get up at 5:30, I really don’t have the energy to focus on the 5SF after my rotation. Sorry folks. I will see you next week, though!!

all about me, school

first day of clinical tomorrow

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So as the title of this post indicates, tomorrow is my first day of nursing clinical rotations at Grady hospital.

I am officially freaked out; mostly because I don’t know exactly what to expect. I am just hoping that fear/stress turns into confidence/belief in myself very early on in the day, because while, deep down, I know I can do this, I am filled with doubt and worry.

I guess that’s normal, but I still don’t like it. Not one bit.

all about me, happenings, home improvement, mixed media, school

june’s ending, so here’s a list

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There have been several little things going on with me lately, but nothing big, so I figured a list would do the trick. Here we go:

  • As I mentioned a few times, we got a PS3 earlier in June. Yesterday, I noticed that they had a bundle with Little Big Planet (the game I bought the same day I got the PS3) and Wall E included (for the same price I paid for just the system). I went to Best Buy and asked for my copy of LBP and Wall E, and they said I’d have to return the system; so I did. I got $65 store credit for my opened copy of LBP, $30 store credit for Wall E, and a new PS3. Saving almost $100 was well worth me going back home, packing up that massive system and taking it back in. I think sometimes that I probably pay too much attention to ads and deals, but when things like this happen, I just pat myself on the back for being so aware.
  • After some discussion at brunch yesterday, I decided it was time to whiten my teeth again. I have the custom trays, but they hurt my gums, so I have been avoiding them for quite a while now. The Crest White Strips were recommended to me, so I picked up some of the Pro Effects strips today. I hope they work, as I have been feeling like the bright white smile I used to have has been a little dull lately.
  • On my ongoing attempt to become a nurse: I applied to Georgia Perimeter’s associates program again, and this time, I actually had the appropriate Transfer student status!!! If I get in, I am jumping on that opportunity, and definitely starting that program. I also applied to Kennesaw AGAIN, and was able to fix the whole “out of state” situation (which, as it turns out, was just a mistake). So here’s hoping I get in there; because going straight for the BSN would obviously be ideal (I would probably transfer the classes I take at GPC, if I get in there, to KSU). Either way, the baby steps are still being taken, and I hope that some big kid steps are in my near future.
  • The bathroom (I know, I know) is like 99.7345% done. Pictures soon, I PROMISE. Part of the problem, was that I decided to paint the other one, and get a new medicine cabinet for it too; which has obviously meant way more work for me.
  • James doesn’t like the idea, but I am definitely thinking that we need to get a pool. It is too fucking hot, and I think that our friends would want to come over and swim! I LOVE pools, and even if it is only a ~5ft deep pool, it would make summer so much more fun. It may also motivate me to get to gym more often and be less of a fat fuck. (I recently started back at the gym, so I am hoping that dream will become a reality).
  • I think that’s all for now.

all about me, school, tragic, venting, wtf?!

I’m this close

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…to completely giving up. I have applied, taken classes, kissed ass, sent in form after fucking form, and it is all apparently not enough. I cannot get into a fucking nursing program to save my life. I am really close to just saying, “fuck it, universe, you win”. I just got off of the phone with GPC to ask why my status wasn’t changed on their website, because I have sent in the “change of status” form 3 times now, and I have found out that they still haven’t changed it, and want me to resubmit it. What for? Just for shits and grins? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

If I hear ANYONE say anything about how they “can’t believe that there is such a shortage of nurses” in Georgia, I will let them know why. I am smart, have great grades, and most of all, the drive to do the damn job, and even I can’t get my foot in the door. I have been trying to get into other schools, and they keep listing me as an out of state resident, which both quadruples the tuition, as well as puts me at the end of the list, after all of the in state residents (which is practically an instant rejection, since there is such a shortage of these programs in Georgia). I can see why kids graduating from college in Georgia could have a bleak outlook for their future; good luck finding college in this state.

Needless to say, I am MORE than frustrated right now, but I am VERY happy that I at least have a job; no I am not that diluted by my disappointment to forget that majorly important fact.

/upset rant

all about me, blog on blog, music musings, school

a couple of quick notes about me of the now

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  • As November gets closer to its end, I am more and more excited (and at the same time, anxious) about my annual blogging tradition of picking, and blogging my top 31 CDs of the year. There are some amazing records on this year’s list, and with each week’s subsequent CD releases, it’s only make things more difficult for me at this point. A wide variety of music tastes will be represented, so make sure you tune in all month long in December for each new entry.
  • I got the test results back for my fourth Microbiology test today: I got a 93. With an 87, a 97, and a 90 on the previous tests, as well as the professor dropping our lowest test, I am going into the final with a 93 test average. Let’s just say that this is very unexpected to say the least. Here’s hoping I can turn out an A in this class! I need it for my GPA!
  • Speaking of school, I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t get into Kennesaw for Summer. While I am definitely bummed about it, I am looking at it as a potential blessing; perhaps I wasn’t supposed to go to KSU? Perhaps I wasn’t meant to go that semester? Whatever happens, I am moving forward with GSU, and I am going to re-apply to KSU for fall. I am going to be a nurse, goddammit! You will not stop me! (I do have to say though, that the program at KSU is TINY, and they said that there were over 400 applicants, so I shouldn’t feel so bad about it. There just aren’t a lot of program options in Metro Atlanta for nursing; no wonder there’s a shortage.)
  • I got the shading done on my phoenix half-sleeve last night, and it is REALLY looking quite amazing now. I can’t wait for the color to be done, but that is at least a month or so out… right now, I am just tending to my tender flesh after last night’s needling. I have to say though, that it is no where NEAR as tender as it was last time for whatever reason; and I am not complaining in anyway about it!

all about me, school, venting

…deep breath… put on a smile… there you go…

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So after looking back over the requirements for applying to GSU (again), it looks like I have to take two MORE classes BEFORE the program semester in which I am applying. I knew that I had to take them, but was unclear if I had to take them BEFORE the program started. Oh well, because there is no way I could have done anything about that before this spring anyway, because they have to be taken AT GSU, and I only got in recently for spring. So, I guess I will just take them in the spring, and postpone applying to the program, and instead, apply for fall; which is definitely frustrating, but not the end of the world. Seriously, it just seems like so many hurdles to go back to school; no wonder there is a shortage of nurses. They make it so difficult to do something simple (such as fulfill requirements), and it seems like time has got to be your friend… you need it to get where you can finally get into a program. Also, it is so difficult to work and go back to school… people that do it really know what I am talking about. Thank GOD my job is flexible.

Given this bad-ish news, the good news is that I did apply to KSU, and I don’t know the status of that application. I REALLY hope that I can get in there, which would make it more attractive to go there; I could start next summer. I like the idea of going to another school too, because I have already been to GSU; even though going to GSU is so much closer to my house. Additionally, I am scared shitless about what I am going to do for money during the time that I am school; I have no idea how to supplement my salary without working. I don’t want to take out a shitload of loans, but it seems like that might by my best option as of right now. I wonder how much they let students borrow; especially if they have loads of loans already under their belt? I guess I will find out, and then freak out accordingly. Again, how do people do this?!

I just feel so tied up, and I feel like I am wiggling, and wiggling, but the ropes are only slightly loosening. I just want to get there, and it seems like I have spent over a year of doing nothing but hurrying up to wait more… and all that lies before me is more waiting.

It’s just frustrating. Really, really frustrating. However, I KNOW that I just have to take deep breaths, put a smile on my face, and keep moving. But that doesn’t make it easy to do so. I guess I should just keep repeating that to myself, because days like this, it is really, really hard. Sorry to have a downer of a post, but eh, there it is. I’m dealing, so that’s all I have for you. Maybe something more upbeat will put a real smile on my face soon… here’s hoping.

"pointless", all about me, friends, happenings, mixed media, shiny stuff, the catch-all-egory

update, I guess?

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It seems like I don’t have much to post about these days… or perhaps it is that I only have mundane things to post about? Either way, I feel like I could at least do a bulleted update list or something, to give y’all the 411 on what’s going on in the wonderful world of duane.

  • I have officially ran out of classes to take for my pre-requisites. I am taking Microbiology this fall, and after that, I just have to wait to get into a program. I am really anxious about getting into one right away, because I REALLY want to get moving on this nursing degree. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
  • Speaking of taking that one class, just getting the random holds off of my account at GPC was more than a headache that lasted from early June all the way through this week. Currently, things are okay, but it was REALLY frustrating to deal with… especially when you call the registration and administration services offices at any of their campuses, and all it does is ring five times before you get a voicemail. Is anyone working there? I mean, they have extended hours for crying out loud! Ugh, I am just glad I have things squared away with GPC.
  • I have officially applied to Kennesaw and Georgia State. I am awaiting my friendly “you got in, yay” packet, so that I can then apply to each one of their nursing programs. I REALLY want to get in and start taking the next steps to becoming a nurse. I am so freaking ready it isn’t even funny.
  • I mentioned a while back that I wanted a new lens for my birthday, but I ended up getting that before I went on my NYC trip. I have decided to wait a little while and see what Apple is going to do, but I have pretty much promised myself that I will be obtaining an iPod touch in the near future. I hope that they come out with one that has more than 32gb, and is cheaper than $500. It would be awesome to throw a camera on that thing too; because I think that the iPhone is awesome, and I would like to have everything BUT the phone. Hurry Apple! I’m anxious!
  • We are still loving the counter tops, sink, and new faucet. I literally walk into the kitchen every time, and cannot believe that it is my house. It was the last thing about our house that we wanted to desperately change, and it has been done… I love our house even more now!
  • Other than dealing with trying to get transcripts out, holds taken off of accounts, applications in, and other whatnot, I have been hanging out with friends and having a pretty good last few weeks. My mood seems to be in an upswing, and I am not complaining about that in the least. I just wish I could get rid of my extreme sensitivity to heat. I really feel like people think that I am making it up sometimes just for attention, which is far from the truth. The other night, we were at a cookout, and I had to leave really abruptly, or pass out. Seriously, I sat in the car for like 10 minutes with the AC on full blast just to keep my food down, and my self conscious. It was awful. I just wish that it didn’t bother me as bad as it does.
  • Lastly, I guess, Soul Calibur IV, while it may make me REALLY frustrated at times when the opponent is a seemingly perfect god of moves and penetrating skills, is an amazing game. They have improved over the Soul Calibur franchise considerably, and the graphics are nothing short of jaw droppingly beautiful. It is also a hoot to play as Yoda, because he says a bunch of his little catch phrases, and well, he’s just so damn cute! It’s a great game, and a must for any fighting game fan. The Xbox 360 continually impresses me with it’s graphical prowess.

Alright, that’s it for now. Back to life…

all about me, happenings, photography, shiny stuff

maybe it’s a sign?

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Well, I have had a pickle of a time with trying to apply to the accelerated RN program at Perimeter, which has gotten me thinking; MAYBE this is a sign. Maybe I should be just applying to a regular BSN accelerated program; and there are two who’s deadlines are months away. So… that’s what I think I am going to do.

The only thing is, that I will have to do it full time, so I will have to figure out some way to attract a magic money fairy in order to sustain my lifestyle. Shit, maybe I’ll just borrow more money; I ONLY have 40k in student loans right now… what’s 30k more? Either way, it may not be what I planned, but it was originally what I wanted to do, so maybe it’s for the best. Now… here’s hoping I can get in. Jeez… Stress!

Also, I am seriously lusting after this lens (actually using it at lunch DID NOT HELP). I know that I said “for my birthday”, but I really want it now (don’t we all want things right away when we want them?). I am thinking about getting it soon, because I am going to NYC in a couple of weeks, and it would be PERFECT for my trip. It is difficult to justify such a massive expense, but it is worth it, right? Why can’t I win the damn lottery already??!

Ah… the things in life we stress over, right? Oh yeah, and it’s damn hot out too! HA!

all about me, five song friday, mixed media, music musings, music suggestion

5SF: june 20

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I am kind of pissed today, (ha, kind of), because I just found AGAIN, that they didn’t review my application for the nursing program because of my student status remained unchanged (despite the fact I faxed in the request to have it changed over 10 days ago… and I was told that it would take 5 days MAX to change it). Well, for those that wonder why I am such a pessimist when it comes to trying to make changes in my life, this is a good example of why. Things like this are always happening to me, and it appears that they aren’t stopping. Back to the drawing board, I guess… I am just filled with frustration and anger right now.

But don’t worry, that won’t stop me from bringing 5 songs for today… Here they are:

Lesley Roy – I’m Gone, I’m Going
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_620_lesleyroy-imgoneimgoing.mp3]
Whoa. This song is a huge, fantastic SURPRISE!!! It has all of the energy and spunk that I love in groups like Paramore; in fact, the blazing guitar riffs, and the high range of the singer borrow a lot from that sound that I love so much. With this song, this “little Irish girl” is showing us that acts like Kelly Clarkson may have to step up their game, because they are no longer alone in this music scene. If there is any justice in this world, this song is going to be HUGE!!!! I love it and I can’t wait to see what Lesley has in store for us next. I have seen some buzz about her on the internets (specifically over at arjan writes), and all of the buzz seems to be the same; this chick is hot! Here’s hoping her album comes out soon, and we get to see what she’s all about! I like what I’ve heard on her myspace, so if that is any indicator, I can tell you I am definitely looking forward to more from Ms. Roy.

The Wombats – Let’s Dance To Joy Division
While I do think this sounds like they lifted this track off of Jack Penate’s record, I have to say that the blaring similarities in style don’t stop me from liking it. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and regardless of how similar their styles are, I think there is room for both of these guys in the music world. Either way, this is a really high energy rock track, and it really makes you want to get up and dance; hell, that is what the song is about! I will admit, that listening to this song does make me want to go back and listen to Jack some more, but I look at it like this… if your style is going to be very similar to someone else’s, at least I am glad that it is similar to someone that I like, right!?!?!

Anouk – Lost
Holy fuck balls. So You Think You Can Dance is in full swing this year, and just like every year I have watched before, there are always a few songs that the kids dance to that take my breath away. This is one of those songs. It is completely beautiful and amazing. Anouk is one of those artists that I have “been meaning to download” forever, but I have never gotten to it for whatever reason. Well, I can definitely guarantee that I am paying attention now… this song is from a CD that she put out in 2004, and it is amazing. I am definitely looking forward to hearing more from Anouk. Also, I am hoping there are more discoveries like this on SYTYCD this year. Wow.

Alanis Morissette – Torch
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_620_alanismorissette-torch.mp3]
I briefly mentioned Alanis’ new album, Flavors of Entanglement last week; however, it was before I was able to truly absorb the record. I was (kind of) surprised to find a really decent effort from Alanis, not because I didn’t think she had it in her, but because of how different and ever changing her music has been in the past. Listening to Flavors, she has reminded me of why I liked her so much in the past; she has some great songs in her catalog, and with this record, she only adds to that list. This, so far, is my favorite song on the record. I love the softness of the song, and how her voice is so beautiful on it. I also love the lyrics. I am glad that Alanis is back! (Although, did she really go anywhere?!?!)

Rachael Yamagata – Reason Why
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_620_rachaelyamagata-reasonwhy.mp3]
I can’t believe I am FINALLY featuring this song (I’ve been meaning to, but it kept getting pushed off of the list)! After seeing Rachael open for Sara Bareilles a couple of months ago, I have been absolutely smitten with this track, which in my opinion, is her most beautiful, honest, and touching. While some of her other stuff is a bit heavier than I like, this song is so light and beautiful, that you can’t help but love it. Rachael has some new material out now on an EP, and has a new album coming out this year. I can’t wait to hear it, because I really loved her in concert, and I like this album as well. This is one of those acts that not a lot of people know about, and when you hear them, you wonder why, because the talent is so clearly obvious.

Well, there’s your songs, folks. Here’s hoping I can get some resolution with my school situation. Until then, I guess it’s back to the drawing board. It’s weird how the simple things can be so hard sometimes. Oh well… such is life… my life that is. Happy Friday, y’all.