I wish I really were a ninja, and didn’t have to resort to pretending:
photo courtesy of the one they call ming.
What’s going on with ya’ll these days? There isn’t much going on that I can see in the way of news, so I guess this is a blog post for the sake of having a blog post.
Feel free to stop in and say hello, give words of wisdom, ask me questions that are burning your brain; whatever you want. This post is open to all of you, as I am pretty devoid of actual contribution today because of the lack of anything going on.
Hope that your day is awesome, and I look forward to hearing from you, or not… it’s up to you!
Life, that is.
Eh, to say it’s “one of those days” would be a vast understatement. Sometimes I just feel like this, and it sucks. It doesn’t go anywhere, and then a few hours/days/weeks, it’s back to normal (or at least semi-normal). It is just enough to make you never want to get out of the bed again. Never interact with anyone again. Just enjoy your potato bagel with jalapeno cream cheese in the car, with the AC on blast, and the Carpenters blaring from the speakers. At least I can take comfort in those three things.
Also, I gave a homeless man a dollar today. I didn’t do it for selfish reasons, I didn’t do it to make myself feel better, regardless of what some might think; I gave it to him because I thought he needed it. He had the sign (they all do), and his said that he was a veteran. He looked like he could have been somebody’s grandpa.
And after I gave him that dollar, what did I feel? Goodness? Joy? Nope. It made me feel selfish. Selfish that I have all of these “problems”, and that I let depression take over me like it is today. It made me feel bad for not giving him more. It made me feel bad that I was sitting in my AC-cooled luxury car, while this man sat on the side of the road in the shade, because he didn’t have access to an indoor space. It just made me feel bad. Perhaps it made me feel more human.
Sometimes, I worry that the things that I take for granted will go away. But, in the state I am in, I am almost too apathetic to care. I’m too upset about the world, about what people think, the war, homelessness, global warming, etc. And it just goes on and on. And yet, I have it so good, but sometimes I don’t even see it. I am grateful, but things like this make me feel bad that I am not more grateful.
All that from a dollar. Some days are just those days… and it’s definitely taking it’s toll on me.
