Tag: homophobia

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Yelp: a(nother) soapbox for bigots?

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Imagine my surprise when someone requested to be friends with me on Yelp today, and I find out that he is writing extremely hurtful and bigoted remarks about me in one of his “reviews”. Not only did he post the review, but after it was taken down, he was allowed to remain member of Yelp, AND, re-posted a similar version of the review just a few minutes later.

Here’s what he said (the first time around), in “response” to my review of my experience at Green’s Liquor store:

After reading Duane M. review of Green’s Beverage Store, I had to fire back. I visit Green’s Beverage store once or twice a month. Everyone there has always been very nice and helpful.
However, I have never carried a purse and I don’t understand why a man would. You said you are not a woman, but after reading all your reviews you sure do act and bitch like a woman. Come on, we all know that someone that wants to homosexualize America likes to pretend that he is a woman. Perhaps Duane should take the dildo out of his ass!! Fucking pussys like you make me sick. When you choose to suck another man’s dick or take some guys cock up your ass, you become a 2nd class citizen. You have no right to ever bitch. Please keep your mouth shut and get back into the closet.
hmmmm, and you wonder why most of America hates gays.

So eloquent. Let’s look at the face of a true bigot, and oh so clearly one of the highest forms of complete and total asshole, Jake P. of Dacula, GA, shall we:


Just take it in… all that asshole-ishness is almost too much to contain. By the way, nice lip gloss, Jake.

Now, the review was flagged, and eventually taken down, and I didn’t even know about it until I randomly read this thread. However, Yelp allowed him to post another review, very similarly filled hate speech as the first one:

After reading Duane M. review that he likes to dress up like a woman and wants to homesexualize American, I had to do something. I go into Green’s a few times a month and everyone is very nice and helpful.
But, Duane with his fag bag is acting like a little bitchy woman.
Perhaps if Duane got his dildo out of his ass, all of America would be a better place to live in. Duane what you wrote about Green’s was pure hateful, you being a little light in the loafers should understand what is it to be hated.
You are not a woman, your worse. Your a 2nd class citizen, start acting like one.

That second review was even better, Jake flexes his superior knowledge of all things grammar (um, it’s you’re, sweetness, not your).

While this will probably be taken down as well (I’m fairly certain it has of this posting), I can’t help but question why Yelp would allow someone like this to remain a member of their site? As a member of Yelp for YEARS, I was honestly considering deleting everyone of my reviews and publicly declaring myself against their organization; especially because they did not initially seem to have much concern for their members (if only because this guy was allowed to go on posting hate speech, even after he was “punished” for doing it the first time). Not only am I extremely offended by the bigot that was allowed to spread his hate about me without any repercussion (on a public website that I am willingly a part of), but I am even more upset that they there was very slow response to one member of their site clearly gay bashing another (my point being that he was allowed to continue using the site with no restriction).

Well, I sent this post to the Atlanta Ambassador for Yelp, and I got an answer and a clear and expected response, and they are taking care of it. That is a major plus in the Yelp column. As I mentioned above, I considered severing ties with Yelp, because I have had enough people call me a faggot to my face during my lifetime, to continue supporting a web service that just gives someone the platform to do it to me on the internet. However, because of Yelp’s positive and proactive actions, I will not go that far. HOWEVER, and that is a BIG however, I still think that people like this should be banned from the site after a post as bad as his was; 3 strikes is clearly 2 too many with things like this. A first offense of this nature should not be tolerated. If you are clearly bashing another member of the site, do you really deserve a chance to keep contributing? It honestly destroys my hope for humanity when people like this rear their ugly heads, and spread their hatred for all to see.

UPDATE: BANNED. Yelp wins. AWESOME. Thank you YELP!!! I really makes me happy that Yelp takes things like this seriously.

Yeah, you’re right… being gay isn’t all that bad anymore. Being second class isn’t that big of a deal. Things are just swell for us, and we should stop complaining. RIIIIGHT.

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how many times must this be said before it actually changes?

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In this clip, Ellen speaks about something very real and very dangerous, and unfortuantely, something that affects us all; HATE:

Seeing this clip (thanks to vanyel) makes me wonder AGAIN, why this isn’t common knowledge, and it makes me wonder how many times we are going to have to say this before it actually changes. I feel horrible for that boy’s family, and for any other family that has been devastated by hate. I am sick of hearing “that’s so gay”, and letting it go, because it isn’t funny. Ellen is right; being gay is not funny, IT’S NORMAL, and until we get that to be the message that everyone hears, things are just going to continue. I never thought I would want to be normal, but that’s exactly what would be the best thing for gay people; acknowledging that we are actually normal.

Is it so much to want to live in a world where you aren’t hated because of who you love? I would like to think that it isn’t too much to ask at all. I am just sickened by all of the hate and cruelty that is taught in this world, and how it is being passed on to our youth.

is it just me?, mixed media, that is so gay

that “gay” snickers ad

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I am sure that everyone has seen, or heard of, the Snickers “gay kiss” ad from the Superbowl. Most of what I heard about the ad, is the fact that many people thought it was funny. I for one, know that the people at the party I was at laughed hysterically when it aired, and I honestly thought it was at a minimum, pushing the boundaries of being completely anti-gay, even though I didn’t initially get upset about it. But, I am still wondering; what about that scenario is funny?

So, two straight men kiss accidentally, ala “Lady and the Tramp”. So what? Why is that funny? And why is it portrayed as something funny?

Now, while I wasn’t personally offended by the ad, I have to admit that I did get a little uncomfortable when everyone busted out laughing. Again, why is this so funny? I mean, they kissed accidentally, right? If it were a man and a woman, it wouldn’t have been anything to laugh at; which must mean that the reason it is funny, is because it is making fun of gay men. And what about when they feel it necessary to do something to assert their “manliness”, in essence, to prove to each other that, “hey, I’m not a fag”? This too must mean that the reason it is funny, is because gay men aren’t seen as manly; which again, is making fun of gay men.

I am pretty sure that if this scenario did happen in real life, and if those two men were as homo-scared as their characters indicated by their actions after their accidental kiss (ripping out chest hair to prove that they were “real men”), then things probably wouldn’t have been so funny to either of those men; and it would have potentially been upsetting to them. But why? It was an accident, not a full on sexual encounter! Now, I know that I can’t say how individual men should react to kissing another man, but it shouldn’t be something that is so queer and “wrong” that one would need to go so far as to “cover up” that action with another one, one that somehow “asserts” the fact that they are indeed, not gay. After all, just because the two men kissed, it doesn’t mean that they are instantly gay; and by ripping their chest hair out to prove to each other that they aren’t gay is both stupid (ouch!!!) and insensitive to gay men. It is acting out and furthering the belief that gay men aren’t really men.

Basically, what Snickers has done, is they have taken something innocent, such as an accidental kiss between two men, and used it to get a cheap laugh by making fun of gay men. Then, they went a step further, and reinforced the societal belief that being a gay man must mean that you are effeminate, or un-manly, because in order to “feel better” about their kiss, the men had to do something “manly” like rip out chest hair; instead of just ignore it and go on with life.

While the commercial itself was seemingly “innocent”, as I look back, I believe that it reinforces what a lot of people wrongly think about gay men, by showing that if two straight men were to kiss, that it would mean something other than just a kiss. They have shown that two men kissing is essentially something to laugh at, or something to make fun of. They have shown that if two straight men were to accidentally kiss, that they would need to assert the fact that they weren’t gay, by doing something “manly” to cover up their previous actions; which again, reinforces the belief that gay men aren’t really men at all. The more I think about the ad, the more I don’t like it, and honestly, I can see where people would be offended. I guess even more than that, I wonder why we, as a society, still cling to these covert anti-gay messages, and continually portray gay men in this light? All it does is encourage people to continue to make fun of gay people, which trickles down to children, who then use these stereotypes to seek out and torture gay kids. It’s a vicious cycle, one that uses “humor” to hurt a particular group of people.

So what do you think? Do you think that I am overreacting? Keep in mind that I am not trying to rant here, but I am trying to observe that yes, the ad was pretty anti-gay, and typical of a less than accepting society. I am saying that I see how people would be offended by something that seemed innocent to most; simply because it covertly reinforces the belief that gay men aren’t really men at all, and that kissing another man is wrong. Tell me what you think/thought about the ad! Were you offended? Do you see where the media continually makes fun of being gay?

Also, if you are interested in more thoughts on this ad, here’s a link to commecial closet, a website dedicated to GLBT portrayals in the media; they seem to agree with me.