Tag: happiness

all about me, blog on blog, civil rights, flickr, happenings, near and dear, nursing, school

year end… again

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So again, I find myself at the end of another year, and I am sitting here asking myself, what has happened with this year? It has flown by. Since I started nursing school, and since being a nurse full time, I find that I need to have way more down time, and time that I spend recovering from the job, mostly because it is so tough. That being said, I am definitely still here, and things are good; in fact, much better right now than before, and I feel that it will keep getting better. Here’s a few things that have happened recently that I probably should have blogged about, but didn’t.


In September, James and I got married in DC. Here’s a lot of photos, and I realize that I need to upload so many more… in time. It was an amazing experience. We have been together for a little over 11 years, and we got married with friends and family, and it was honestly, the best I could have imagined. My parents were there, James’ parents were there, and everything went over without any issues. The wedding itself was short and sweet, which I liked, the reception was amazing, and is something that we can always cherish. There were many great memories, lots of fun, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

A little over a month ago, I decided to take a big chance, and switch jobs (and hospitals). So far, going from the Emergency Department to the ICU has been a bit of a change (unorganized chaos to timely structure), but I can already tell that I am a lot less stressed, and a lot less upset all of the time. I think the pressure of the ungrateful, not-sick-give-me-a-sandwich patients in the ED finally wore me out, and the universe gave me a huge sign that it was time for a change. I am excited about this new opportunity, and I cannot wait until I get more accustomed to my new environment, and feel as comfortable here as I did in the ED. I have already learned a lot, and I know that this was a good move, and I am excited for the new experience.

Lastly, I started grad school for my MSN, which will propel me from RN to FNP. I am getting more into the process, and I am sure that this is going to be a great thing in the long run, but it’s definitely another major undertaking, that I have decided to take on. It seems that I either love school, or love student loan debt, because here I go again… although the outcome will be a major reward, and I know that it will be difficult, but is ultimately a great choice.

All in all, it’s been a busy year, and many changes have taken place; and I expect great things as a result. Here’s to a great (and hopefully even better than 2014) 2015!

all about me, school, venting

…deep breath… put on a smile… there you go…

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So after looking back over the requirements for applying to GSU (again), it looks like I have to take two MORE classes BEFORE the program semester in which I am applying. I knew that I had to take them, but was unclear if I had to take them BEFORE the program started. Oh well, because there is no way I could have done anything about that before this spring anyway, because they have to be taken AT GSU, and I only got in recently for spring. So, I guess I will just take them in the spring, and postpone applying to the program, and instead, apply for fall; which is definitely frustrating, but not the end of the world. Seriously, it just seems like so many hurdles to go back to school; no wonder there is a shortage of nurses. They make it so difficult to do something simple (such as fulfill requirements), and it seems like time has got to be your friend… you need it to get where you can finally get into a program. Also, it is so difficult to work and go back to school… people that do it really know what I am talking about. Thank GOD my job is flexible.

Given this bad-ish news, the good news is that I did apply to KSU, and I don’t know the status of that application. I REALLY hope that I can get in there, which would make it more attractive to go there; I could start next summer. I like the idea of going to another school too, because I have already been to GSU; even though going to GSU is so much closer to my house. Additionally, I am scared shitless about what I am going to do for money during the time that I am school; I have no idea how to supplement my salary without working. I don’t want to take out a shitload of loans, but it seems like that might by my best option as of right now. I wonder how much they let students borrow; especially if they have loads of loans already under their belt? I guess I will find out, and then freak out accordingly. Again, how do people do this?!

I just feel so tied up, and I feel like I am wiggling, and wiggling, but the ropes are only slightly loosening. I just want to get there, and it seems like I have spent over a year of doing nothing but hurrying up to wait more… and all that lies before me is more waiting.

It’s just frustrating. Really, really frustrating. However, I KNOW that I just have to take deep breaths, put a smile on my face, and keep moving. But that doesn’t make it easy to do so. I guess I should just keep repeating that to myself, because days like this, it is really, really hard. Sorry to have a downer of a post, but eh, there it is. I’m dealing, so that’s all I have for you. Maybe something more upbeat will put a real smile on my face soon… here’s hoping.

happenings, hotness, mixed media, show the love

join me in welcoming the newest member of our family

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join me in welcoming the newest member of our family, originally uploaded by duanemoodydotcom.

TIVO HD is here!!! This morning, I was greeted by the sight of a new baby sitting on my porch, as I went out to go to work. I opened the crib, and inside, I found the newest addition to our family!

We welcome you with open arms, our beloved new Tivo. Today is a special day indeed, because even though Tivo HD is a new member of the family, it is almost like we have gotten back an old friend that we have missed for too long. Since the old Tivo wasn’t HD compatible, we had to say our farewells, and now, we are greeted by this new, shiny bundle of joy!!!

Rejoice! For the new technology is here!

I called Comcass(t) to see when I could schedule a cable card “installation”, and I was pleased to find out that I could go and pick up the cards myself; free of charge. If they would have come out, she said they would charge me $30 for EACH CARD. Fuck you ComcASS. Additionally, she wanted to “warn” me, of potential issues and problems associated with the cable cards. She said that first, I wouldn’t be able to order movies directly as I could with Comcass’ shitty DVR, and before she could finish her statement, I said, “I don’t do that”. Then, she started to tell me how the cable cards weren’t as good as the box, because the box is a direct connection or some bullshit. She also had the nerve to tell me that people complained because their cable cards got stuck in whatever they were putting them in. I replied with, “so, is this your way of keeping people stuck with the Comcast box?”. She immediately replied no, but I know that she was thinking the same thing; it is their way of keeping you tied to that shitty DVR.

Well, not for me. I cut off her rants about why the cable cards were bad, and told her, “it doesn’t really matter, because they are coming to my house”. I hung up with her after getting the address of the local Comcass place, and James is going by this afternoon to pick them up. Stay tuned for reports on the baby’s first steps and first words!!

Excitement, ladies and gents! Excitement!

all about me, happenings, near and dear

when I grow up…

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I had my meeting at GSU yesterday, and I got more than I was expecting; I got a huge dose of hope. I went into the meeting a little bit apprehensive, because going back to school seems like the biggest step in the whole world, but I am more confident now, that I am going to make it.

Turns out, they are going to count many of my undergrad classes towards the admission guidelines (YAY!), and, of the courses that I have to take that are prerequisites, I can take them online, or at a another school. This is great news, as I was hoping to be able to knock out those prerequisites quickly, and doing them online will give me the opportunity to do just that. Additionally, I don’t have very many of those courses to take before I can apply to the nursing program.

This has been something that has been a long time in the making, and instead of feeling overwhelmed as I walked across the GSU campus, I felt excited. I am truly invigorated that I am making small steps at improving my happiness, and improving my life. My goals don’t seem so far out of reach now, and I honestly feel like this is something that I can do. I feel like I will be able to take the steps that I need, and never look back. I need to now focus on starting the journey, and realize that the end will come; as long as I keep moving.

It is funny, sort of, that I was so worried about going back to school. See, while I hated undergrad (mostly because of the school I was at, and just the issues of being in the closet), and didn’t do too terribly well, grad school was an amazing experience. I learned so much, not only about the world, and how people and culture adapt and survive, but about myself as well. I learned that I can really do anything I put my mind to, and I have to start believing that again. I actually liked school when I was in grad school, so it is funny that a BSN program seemed such a far stretch; when chances are, even though it will be tough, and probably difficult at times, I am sure that I will enjoy it, and I know that I can do it.

They are definitely right when they say that going to school later in life usually makes for a better student; you just don’t look at things the same way, and you have matured to a place where you know how important the whole thing is. Also, you REALLY know how much those classes are costing, so you take them more seriously (at least, that was the case for me).

So, now that I have made this step to find out what I need to go to nursing school, what next? I have a list of the prerequisites that I must fulfill, and I am going to begin doing some searching for programs and schools that I can take them at. I also would like to look into as many different options for nursing schools as possible; especially online programs, because of their convenience. Any help from any of you is much appreciated (hint hint).

Wish me luck. In fact, continue wishing me luck for the long haul; I am going to need it. Perhaps, in a few years, I’ll get to be what I want to be when I grow up…

all about me, james says, near and dear

insecurities gone too far

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It started innocently enough, it started with a plan to spend the day together.

Things were going great; playing video games, going to visit some friends, planning what to eat for dinner, and talking about what movies to watch.

The evening went on, you cooked me dinner, and we watch our shows together. The day went so well, and I have had such a good time, with you.

And then you did it. You let your insecurities go too far. You asked me if I had faked being happy. You asked me if I had faked being happy. You wanted to know whether I would rather have spent my time somewhere else, or with someone else. But what you didn’t know, is that I was happy, and I was right where I wanted to be.

When things start out so well, we don’t know where they will go. Hopefully, they can just happen, and we can just be together and enjoy it is for what it is; but that didn’t happen this time. You let your insecurities get the better of you, and what happened, is, even though you said you were sorry, they hurt me. What you should know, is that you have no reason to be insecure with me, I love you. I am not going to change that; but I can’t go on being second guessed. I understand a reason to be weary of love; it involves taking a huge gamble, but you have already won, there is no reason to worry. I need you to know that I can’t have you wondering if I would rather be elsewhere when I am with you. If I do want to be somewhere else, I will tell you, and I hope that will be okay, but that was not the case with today.

I believe there is definitely more work that we are going to have to do here. Definitely.

I just wish that we could co-exist, and have our time we spend together be good, and time we spend apart be good as well. I just wish that I could have some space when I need it, and it not carry the price of hurting you, or making you feel insecure; even during the times I am standing right beside you. I just wish…