So, basically, I have been going nuts over Dreamgirls for a while here on the blog, and last night, the Golden Globes recognized our girl Jennifer Hudson as the best supporting actress!! You go girl! I am so happy for her, because it was definitely not her time when she was voted off AI, and this just goes to show that sometimes, not winning doesn’t mean the end. I certainly hope she can parlay this into a successful career, because we need more people like her around!
You would think, though, like a good little queer, I would have been hosting a fabulous GG party last night to partake in the festivities and cheer on the aforementioned diva, but interestingly enough, we did have people over, but none of us watched TV. In fact, we all just hung out in the living room and talked. It was actually quite nice. It was like getting to know your friends, which is just interesting, because, well, we are all friends already, but sometimes you learn things about each other by talking (that’s right! No TV, talking, WTF?!?!111!!). It reminded me of when we waited all night outside Target for the Wii… same thing as last night, but there was more drinking last night, and it was not cold. And, well, we weren’t sitting outside a Target all night long.
What was interesting about last night, though, was that the conversation quickly made a turn when we decided to have a rousing game of “never have I ever…”. Needless to say, it was quite fun to see who had done what, and who hadn’t done it at all. I learned a lot about what goes on in some of my friend’s bedrooms, and what has gone on in public places as well. While it was fun, and definitely interesting, I have to say that I solidified something that I only sort of believed about myself: I am definitely a prude when it comes to sex. Most of my friends have done this, that, and the other, by themselves, with one, two, or three, and well, me, I just haven’t. Of course I have done the deed, but for the most part, I am pretty vanilla when it comes to hanky panky.
Now, I am not saying that there is a “requirement” to do more things sexually, or need to be more sexually “adventurous”, but I never went through the so-called “whore” phase when I came out, and as such, haven’t really done that much sexually (because supposedly, this is when most gay men reach a sexual awakening, and go, well, buck wild). Mostly, this is because of my thoughts on sex, a lot of which stems from my upbringing, where I didn’t learn anything about sex until I found it out on my own. Couple that with good old fashioned guilt about everything, and you have someone that thought for the longest time that sex before marriage was a big old sin that should never be committed. Sure, it may be a sin, but I really, really was against it. Thank goodness that I am not so weird about it any more, but I still can’t seem to shake that little “oh no! we couldn’t do that!!!” bird that sits on my shoulder, and to this day, I really don’t know where it came from (or why it won’t go away!). But I guess I can say this; I have been a careful boy. I am safe today as a result. That is a definite plus. But, I can’t help but feel like I may have missed out on some stuff. Now, I know it is never too late, but that little bird is still there, so I don’t know how much I will (if ever) do differently. Now, I am not fretting or anything, and it is definitely c’est la vie for sure, because it is, after all, just sex, but it was interesting to find out that my thoughts that I may be Prudence McPrude was actually a pretty spot on reality. It doesn’t change how much I think about sex, or how much I love looking at the mens, but it definitely curbs my actions. I guess you could say that I am definitely a think-before-you-act kinda guy… and maybe that isn’t SO bad.