Tag: gay

Iranian spared from execution!

Yay!!!

Amid global pressure from human rights organizations, and due to global protest, “Iran’s chief justice nullified the imminent death sentence of Makvan Mouloodzadeh”!!!!

This is FANTASTIC news. This restores a tiny bit of faith for me in humanity.

To everyone that blogged about it, and cast attention towards the issue, this shows that speaking up can make a difference! This is great news. I, for one, am very happy that at least this one case was changed because of global pressure. If we keep putting pressure on these people, hopefully, MANY more people can be spared!

(source)(source)

some wins, a major worry, and a lack of perspective (yet again)

I want to high-five Dennis Kucinich; it does take balls to put forward something like the impeachment of Cheney (especially when we have been calling for it for so long). While it may not actually happen (boo!), I hope that it does; and I won’t forget that Dennis is the guy that got the issue actually going, which is a welcome sign that there are some balls somewhere in the house of Dem.

ENDA passed; which is a great step forward in the protection against being fired simply for being gay or lesbian. I hope that this signals more good things in store for the equalization of rights for all of us. No one should be able to be fired because their boss is a bigot, and now, it seems like they are a little safer. Bravo.

I blogged about it before, but please, don’t forget that there is a gay youth in serious danger of being hanged for being gay in Iran. This cannot happen. I am glad to see that the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission is at least paying some attention now. This is a chilling reminder that gays and lesbians are NOT free in this world, and if one of us is at risk of being murdered because of who we are, we are all at risk. It cannot be allowed to happen, and Iran must not be allowed to conduct serious acts of murder and violence against any human. I certainly feel for this boy and his family. By keeping this topic in the news, we are keeping Iran under the microscope, and hopefully, it will lead to a stay of execution indefinitely.

Finally, I was amused when I read that this is what Bush had to say about the veto override the Senate exercised in the funding of projects to rebuild the areas affected by hurricane Katrina:

“American taxpayers should not be asked to support a pork-barrel system of federal authorization and funding where a project’s merit is an afterthought,” he said.

Wait, WHAT? All of a sudden, Mr. Bush is concerned what WE taxpayers are concerned with when it comes to government spending? Uh, Mr. Bush, you can’t have a blank check for your war on the middle east, and then get all pissy when we want money to rebuild parts of our own nation; it just shows how out of touch with the real situation he really is. Someone, please get this man a large does of perspective; stat. I love how it was “an afterthought”… uh, someone really needs to get him up to speed as to what is going on in the world right now; the man clearly has no idea.

Other than that… I am sure that there is a lot more SHIT going on in the world that is scary and evil, but it almost seems too overwhelming to deal with it all, doesn’t it? I mean, just look at the CRAPPER that the economy is in… we are seriously inching towards being TOTALLY fucked instead of just being fucked. When will the great America turn things around for herself? I just hope that we can.

executing homosexuals doesn’t bother us… so long as it happens elsewhere

This has me upset, outraged, and disturbed.

Less than 24 hours ago, atlmalcontent professed an agreement with my position on gay marriage as an issue, and it is the issue that has gotten me so upset, that brings us to agreement again; in a big way. There is a boy about to be executed for alleged homosexual acts in Iran, and there is an almost chilling silence (or worse (??), only a simple passing mention — which I admit, is at least SOMETHING), coming from the gay rights organizations and gay mouthpieces of the world. How is this possible? I thought that our gay rights organizations like the HRC stood for equalizing and gaining HUMAN rights for gays and lesbians everywhere? Perhaps it is more accurate then, to say that they are focused more on gaining rights for gays and lesbians here in America only? I wish it weren’t the case, but one can only surmise that the apparent silence with regards to this boy’s pending execution, definitely suggests that this is a more accurate mission statement. So I wonder, why aren’t we fighting for every gay and lesbian person in the world; or for that matter, the freedom and equality of everyone? I know that it is important that we focus energy on finding equality for ourselves, but it is clear that we need to widen our focus, because acts against any homosexual as awful as this, are acts against all of us — because it could BE any of us.

Instantly, when I heard about this case, I was reminded of when those two boys were executed in Iran for the very same thing a while back, and how they were very publicly hanged for their “crimes”. That image is still burned in my mind, and thinking of it turns my stomach to knots, and brings tears to my eyes. In addition to that memory, to think that someone was/is going to be hanged for doing something that I take for granted is indeed scarily humbling and intensely frightening. What’s worse, in my mind, is to think that we don’t seem very concerned about the fact that it is happening again. Why aren’t we all up in arms about this case, as we supposedly were before (because really, what was done about it last time?)? Could it be, that we are waiting for the kid to be swinging from the rafters before we give it a passing glance? WTF? Why aren’t the human rights organizations outraged, and calling for action from the government? Those questions are burning me up inside, and because of a lack of attention, I can have no answers.

Even more, part of me shudders to think that it could (at least in some small part) be because the boy is Iranian, and we are currently being drilled by our government to believe that Iranians are our enemies, linking the boy with our concept of an enemy (and therefore, lack of care if he dies(?)). I really hope that isn’t so, but it is swimming in my mind nonetheless. The lack of any concern has me reeling, and looking for any answers, to be quite honest.

The point here is this: there is an awful crime that has happened before about to happen again; and it should not go unchecked. The Iranian government should not be able to commit such heinous acts of violence against anyone, and someone should say something, and at a bare minimum, focus some attention on this situation. This represents the very problem with only focusing on “some” civil liberties in “some” places for “some” people; if you go somewhere else, in the world where you are not protected (or worse, for those that have no choice but to be born gay in those places), and it means that you have done nothing to help the global cause of equality for all gays all over the world. Being safe in America, and able to marry, does not protect gays in other parts of the world; and that is something that should concern us. We should care that gays and lesbians in other countries are KILLED for what we take for granted.

I for one am hoping that something is done, and this CHILD does not have to die. I hope that our gay rights organizations speak up, and show some consideration for what this child is going through; because it could just as easily be one of our own… but again, the fact is, that he IS one of our own. This boy’s struggle for life should really shake us to the core, and make us realize how good we have it here; and challenge us to make it better everywhere… but for whatever reason, it isn’t, and that really bothers me.

Please, do what this post is doing, and direct as much attention as you can to this situation. I heard about this from atlmalcontent, and by voicing our outrage, we are forcing this to be discussed. If one person tells someone else, this can go somewhere; I believe that. Attention to heinous acts of violence like this, can hopefully make changes happen; and it is clear that we are the ones who shine the light on it. Please, don’t remain silent.

My heart goes out to this boy and his family. I can only hope that he is saved. This is a dark, dark day for gay rights worldwide; unfortunately, it has happened before, and will probably happen again. What will it take for us to stand up and unite?

why is gay marriage an issue?

I keep hearing all of this stuff about trying to find each presidential candidate’s position on gay marriage, and I have ask… why is gay marriage an issue that should be the concern of a president? Seriously? The issue is not gay marriage; it is civil rights. Marriage is the word that the use to describe the religious procedure of getting bound to another person for life. The only thing that could make it an issue, is that it is currently recognized by the government as a legal union, and there are privileges that come with its status. However, it is not the issue, and I don’t get why we are so concerned with that word; marriage.

I would happily take a civil union any day; so long as it afforded me EQUAL rights. I don’t give two shits about calling my partnership a “marriage” vs. calling it a “civil union”; so long as we are treated equally under the law of our government. I personally think that should be more of the focus, as this issue will always be used as more of a wedge than anything, and no person in their right mind is going to go up against the juggernaut that is the Christian church. Also, isn’t there supposed to be a separation of church and state? So again, why not stop calling it “gay marriage” as an issue?

I think that if you get married, good for you; you should also have to file for a civil union, which should be the only union the government officially recognizes. Make it standard for everyone, and make it available for gays and lesbians as well. Keep marriage in the churches, take religion out of the equation, and things can be more acceptable for everyone, right? Perhaps this is too simple of a concept, but it boggles my mind that gay marriage is all anyone ever asks about when it comes to gay and lesbian rights and a presidential candidate. (what about gay civil rights of other people throughout the world? I think that should be a huge concern of ours as well; but that is a more lengthy conversation).

I realized this more fully when I was reading what Obama said, and the “reaction” from some of the gays that he was against gay marriage. We don’t need to fight for religious justification; we need to fight for equality. Sure, the fight for gay marriage is a fight for equality, but it isn’t necessarily the same thing; take religious practice out of the picture officially. These church driven people are NEVER going to give us the “right” to take their “sacred” practice (now with a 50+% failure-rate!) for ourselves, so we should just drop the shit already. I am tired of continually giving it back to them so they can wedge it between what’s really important and this dance that we have been stuck in forever. I am for equality; nothing less, nothing more. Doesn’t that sound like a more fruitful fight?

Unrelated link: This is quite fascinating if it is true; apparently, the first AIDS case was in 1969 in the US. This makes me wonder; why didn’t it spread to the epic proportions that it has today? What was the factor that caused it to spread so rapidly in the 1980s that was different 11 years earlier? If this man was the first documented case of AIDS, how many people had it before him; and who infected him? It really turns the notion of epidemiology on its head, because it really did occur in a seemingly singular incident. Weird.

today’s national coming out day…

A day that represents something important that most gay people will go through; the process of putting everything on the line for the purpose of acceptance and belonging. A day where we that are out can appreciate everything that we went through on that faithful day we when first uttered the words “I’m gay” to another person. A day where we stand proud, and realize how strong we are for coming out of the closet in the first place, and understanding how it is so difficult for those that have not and even more for those that cannot. Today is a day that we get to celebrate being “out”, and relish what it means to truly be who you are for the first time, and for every time.

I have written my “first” coming out story before, but I thought I would include it here, with some edits, since it has been a few years since I first blogged it. While my story of coming out is focused on the first person that I came out to, it doesn’t truly highlight the journey that coming out has been for me, as it is for most. Being out to one quickly became being out to many, and eventually, I was out to everyone, including my family. Even though I have been far, to this day, there are people that have not come out to officially. There are still people from my past whom I have not had the opportunity to tell, who I hope will accept me for who I am, if and when they discover the fact that I am gay. Many people struggle to come out, and I was no different. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I could go back and tell my younger self how much better I would feel once I had finally “taken the plunge”. I think that given the opportunity, I would, but I honestly don’t know what good that would do; I came out when it was time for me to do so, and all I can be thankful for today, is that I had the courage to do it in the first place.

Without too much more sappy-ness, here’s my first (of many) coming out experience. In this story, I was almost “forced” to come out to one of my best friends, all thanks to my urge to catch the debut of a little show called Queer as Folk. I hope that it is a story that is both enjoyable, and inspiring, because sometimes, those little curve balls that life throws us are big signs of change; and as with this case, change for the better.

(note: the story is rather long, so I have cut the entry here to keep the mere sight of the entry manageable; I know that some people freak out when they see an extra long entry.)

who really cares?

Everyone’s raving about another defecting Republican, who got caught giving in to his homosexual tendencies… but really, who cares? I mean, this guy goes up in an airport restroom to score some cock, and everyone is all abuzz about it. Please. I am so sick of the “news” covering stories like this one, or this and that about Britney Spears’ night out on the town; what is really going on in the world? Tell us that stuff!

Seriously. I mean if you really want to look at it, he didn’t even do anything but proposition the guy! No gay sex was involved!! What a freak, and what a non-news situation. Seriously, find something important to talk about, for crying out loud.

I do, however, think it is funny that so many of these anti-gay jerks find themselves in a restroom somewhere begging for a bit of man on man action… which really makes it clear that the more homophobic you are, the more you are covering up your own homosexuality; and honestly, that’s just sad.

I just wish people could be happy with themselves, and the world wouldn’t judge you because of what you do between the sheets. Perhaps people like this would be able to express themselves in a healthy (and more legal?) manner, and instead of being so against our “agenda”, they could just join us in place where you can be happy for who you are, you can enjoy personal acceptance, and people will understand and accept you for you. Man, wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing; and potentially, something actually worth reporting (for a change)?

Who knows… Now back to your regularly scheduled Michael Vick update… wait… I don’t give a shit about that either! HA!

In duane-related news… I have been really working hard at Statistics, which, if you are not a math wiz, is seriously another language. I just hope that I can pull out some magic knowledge or memory, and somehow score an A in this class. It is, after all, the only math class I have to take. At least I am getting it out of the way first!!

Finally, I don’t now if anyone is actually taking my music suggestions seriously, but here is another fantastic one: Kate Nash, Made of Bricks. Wow. She is a little bit Lily Allen, and I love her! The whole CD is a great listen, and I love her writing style. The song “Foundations”, is seriously infectious, and so well written. I have been listening to it on repeat for days. Do yourself a favor, and check it out! This CD is definitely one of my favorites of the year!

humor… or just hot?

It is no secret that the media loves to “push the envelope” by attempting to bring “humor” out of situations that, for whatever reason, they believe the “straight male” will find humorous; particularly, the depiction of gay kissing, groping, etc. Clearly evidenced by the recent movie “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry”, it is clear that there is a fascination with man on man action, and whether it is used to attempt humor, or whether it is used to simply make fun of, one thing is certain; it definitely garners attention.

Many times, the attempt at “humor” will bring negative attention from the gay community, like with the Snickers ad that was played during the Superbowl; mostly because it crosses a line between being funny, and instead, seeks to make fun of someone/something. I think that regardless of where that line may lie, there is no denying that there is a constant obsession on man-on-man action; which is clearly evidenced by this ad campaign. The campaign is trying to get Londoners to come to Paris, and in this ad, they are showing how Paris is not only the city of love, but that it is also the city of humor. However, I have to ask; how is this ad humorous? Is it funny that men would kiss and grope one another in a clearly sexual position?

While I will admit that I am not an expert with regards to rugby, I know one thing for certain; rugby is a really hot sport to watch, and the players are a real distraction (i.e., they are hot). The grittiness of this contact sport, practices like a “scrum”, and the other close cornered activity that goes on during a match make this a visual delight for men that are sexually attracted to men (regardless if that is the intention or not). Additionally, I would argue that seeing the activities of the sport acted out, undeniably provide a visual display that borderlines on porn (or as Mark Simpson brilliantly calls it: sporno). What I find interesting, is that the men that are viewing these games and images of this sport (and others), along with the advertisers and the sports promoters, continue to pretend that these images and portrayals of “sporno” are not interesting to them sexually; even though they go the extra mile to portray them in such a sexual manner. I have to wonder; is it really done for humor, or is there some part of them that really thinks that it is just hot? If not, then why the emphasis on the more attractive men, and more sexually charged advertising?

I will gladly admit that this image is a distraction for me. I could just stare at it for a long time. I don’t think many would deny that this image is very sexual, and to many, extremely hot. I also think that was at least, at a bare minimum, part of the point, and I find it interesting that the motivation to make it so hot is there. This is especially interesting, considering the fact that straight men are “supposed to” “lack” sexual interest in the situation. I mean, you’ve seen a Men’s Health magazine, haven’t you? You can’t tell me that the images that they use in that magazine are geared towards men who are “so-called” “disgusted with the thought of gay sex”! It is practically a skin mag!

I mean, if men want to continue to deny that they are not looking because at least a tiny part of them is interested, intrigued, or at least on a small level, attracted to the image of the male form, that is fine, I actually have no problem with that whatsoever. However, I do ask that they keep bringing the goods, without crossing that line I mentioned earlier. I don’t care if they created this image for their ad campaign under the potentially false guise that it was “humorous”; because it clearly shows that there is a continued fascination with man-on-man action. The best thing about this ad, is that it does it in a way that is both subtle, as well as fucking hot.

I will always be fascinated by the fact that there is so much obsession with the male body, and even man-on-man sex, from straight men, especially when you consider that so many men will wince at the thought of two men kissing. It’s like the line that Christina Ricci delivered in the movie the Opposite of Sex:

Can I just say to all the girls out there…if you’re with a guy who groaned or made some crack during that little kiss…you’re with what we call a closet case. That’s the number one tip-off. Number two is if they freak out about gays in the military. You know, if they can’t discuss it without giggling about showering with guys…and bending over for soap and stuff. That’s not good. Real straight guys don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about wet naked men, if you ask me.

While I think that she really has a point, I don’t think that just because a man thinks about other men, it necessarily makes him a closet case, or even gay. I think that we all have a fascination with the physical body, and men are naturally visual creatures. Also, I think that it would be correct to assume that men can appreciate, and possibly even enjoy, the visual aspects of the male body (or the actions in which it partakes). Regardless of the potential for wincing and making lewd comments, all while (possibly) secretly thinking that, “yeah, well, that is kinda hot”; I am just glad that they didn’t cross the line, and instead, went the extra mile for those of us that actually do enjoy seeing images like this. I for one, am very, very happy.

You’ve heard my spiel, so I want to know: what do you guys think? Do you think that there can be an appreciation for the male body without having to believe that you are gay, and therefore, freak out about it? I mean, there is so much homo-erotic subtext in sports, fraternities, and other male bonding rituals, that it can’t just be coincidental that men think about other men in “that way”; even though they don’t necessarily want to act on it. I think that if more men would just be okay with the presence of a potential “gay” feeling every now and then, the world would be a lot better place, you know? I would love to hear your thoughts on this; being the eternal anthropologist, this sort of thing is my bread and butter.

thanks and thoughts

I wanted to say thanks to everyone that sent well wishes and stuff the other day; I was just in a weird spot, and I honestly was thinking too much for my own good. I have this incredible ability to let something minuscule turn into a huge festering thing in my mind, all because I focus too much on it. I am working on that, but it is part of what I learned in how to deal with people when I was growing up. Some of that stuff never goes away, and you just have to deal with it; perhaps that is why I find that I do get let down when I expect too much from people. My parents were good at letting me down, and yet, I naively always believed that the next time, they wouldn’t; which unfortunately, almost always ended in disappointment. I am working on getting out of that, but for now, I can only go at this pace. Thanks for listening, understanding, and being here.

Sydney is doing better, although he is very lethargic and doesn’t want to move around much. I am hoping that by the end of the weekend, he is back to his normal, energetic self. I don’t like seeing him in any pain, because he really is my “baby”, and I love him so much. I am just glad that his tests came back normal, and it appears to just be a case of upset tummy. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts about him, as well.

Other than that, there isn’t really much going on in the way of “stuff” right now. I am still in a little bit of a weird place, as it was pointed out to me that I was being a little snippy at lunch with James. I was constantly on his case about his driving, because, well, he is a very easily distracted person anyway, and I really didn’t want anything to happen to him or his car. I guess sometimes, good intentions come out bitchy. Oh well… perhaps it is the rain today? Who knows… I just know I am glad that it is Friday.

Finally, a few links with some scattered thoughts:
— Surprise! A negative review of “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” from a gay website. While I don’t really care one way or another about the movie getting good or bad reviews, it always makes me wonder about people who watch movies and criticize them, when it is clear to everyone else that the movie is going to contain the very elements that the critic negatively goes on and on about. Obviously, this movie is going to use borderline or outright negative gay stereotypes and bad humor to poke fun at what most American men see to be an uncomfortable situation; a simulated homosexual relationship between two straight men. While it may be distasteful and possibly a negative reinforcement (but probably not, since GLAAD gave it a thumbs up), if you don’t want to hear the negative gay jokes, don’t go see this movie; problem solved. I do have to say though, that I think Kevin James is absolutely adorable, and I don’t think that his part in this dumb movie will change any of that feeling from me.
Cheney will be in charge while Bush goes under for a routine colonoscopy. I would really have loved it if the news outlets had gotten creative, and came up with creatively disgusting titles to supplement this story. However, I for one don’t know how they are actually going to get in there, with that big stick shoved up his ass, and all.
— I saw this clip of Tammy Faye when she was recently on the Larry King show, and it honestly just breaks my heart to see someone so sweet and genuinely wonderful suffering like that. Hell, I don’t like seeing anyone suffer, but Tammy Faye is good, and she totally has had our backs for a long time, showing the world what a true Christian should be like. Additionally, her son has turned out to be accepting and loving as well; not to mention, kind of hot. I love you Tammy Faye, and I hope that you are not suffering, and that your final days are peaceful and happy. You have been there for the gays, and we definitely thank you for your love, kindness, and support. If only there were more like you, Tammy Faye.

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I am going to do my best to relax, finish the paintings I am working on, and spend time with my family (James, little Sydney, and some friends if they are interesting in hanging out). Now, I’m off to get some damn wine… I have been Cabernet-ing it up this week; I see no reason to slow up now!

pride, biology, orientation, and all things that make us gay

Since this weekend is the 37th annual Atlanta Gay Pride festival, I thought I would reflect a little on pride, and what better way to do that, that with an article a flickr pal of mine sent to me about the biology of homosexuality? The article talks about current studies that are being conducted, many of which are looking at various biological trends in humans that indicate a biological representation of homosexuality. It builds on the studies from the past that looked at things like the differences in the hypothalamus (which was seen to be noticably different in homosexual men), and also looks at other interesting things potentially linked to your propensity to be gay, like being the youngest boy in your family, the length of your fingers, the direction of the whorl in your hair, and many other biological traits. What it goes on to show, is that the representation of these traits are sometimes significantly different for gay men, and even lesbian women, and as such, may prove to be biological markers that can be used to truly say that homosexuality is biologically determined.

While there is a lot covered in the article, and there are a lot of different points made, I thought it was interesting that first of all, we need to prove that homosexuality is somehow biological. I see how this proof would end the discussion that homosexuality was a choice, but it does open up a whole new can of worms, which is best summed up with this statement from the article:

If sexual orientation is biological, and we are learning to identify how it happens inside the uterus, doesn’t it suggest a future in which gay people can be prevented?

It appears that there is also some research looking at the possibility of genetic markers that “cause” homosexuality, and while they aren’t confirmed, it does sound both intriguing, and scary at the same time. I for one can’t imagine what would happen if it turns out that homosexuality is inherently genetic, and they do, then, start searching for a cure. (Additionally, I should note that the conclusion that lesbians are somehow “less homosexual” or even “more fluid” with their sexuality, because they haven’t identified as many markers in women is NOT something I endorse or agree with. Jumping to conclusions without research to back it up is dangerous and stupid.)

The whole notion of “curing homosexuality” is a scary thing, because I for one, don’t think that homosexuality is a disease, and as such, it certainly doesn’t need a “cure”. I am extremely proud of who I am, and being gay is a large part of that. I think that if I were meant to be born straight, I would have been. Plain and simple. I know that everyone doesn’t share my sentiment, especially those that hate themselves because they were born gay, but think about this: being gay, if it is truly biological, is essentially the same as if you were born black, red-haired, blue-eyed, female, or any other non-harmful biologically identifiable trait. The point is, that if it was meant to be, it would be. That is the way nature works.

But what about diseases, and genetically defective biological traits that can be identified and cured? Does this mean that I think that we should just let those diseases that can be prevented with genetic suppression go unchecked? No, I think that is a different argument, mainly because being gay has absolutely no provable detriment to a person’s life; other than, of course, the environmental and external influences that affect us. And we all know that just because you are gay doesn’t mean that you will be subjected to these influences, and just because you are straight, doesn’t mean you will be immune to them.

While being gay may be a “harder” life because of all that we face; discrimination, degradation, violence, hatred, etc, it is a life that we have lived, and because of what we go through, it shapes us into who we are. We are made up of both our biological selves that were given to us at birth, and we grow and are shaped by our experiences, and become who we are by combination of the two.

Now, I know for a fact that my experiences didn’t make me gay, but, they did happen to me because I am gay, and they helped me become who I am today. I am a proud, out, gay man, and I know what I know because of the journey I have been on to this point in my life. It is the journey, and what I have made from it, that I celebrate this weekend, and it is my hope that this important aspect of each gay person’s life is not lost if and when biological determinants are truly, and irrefutably identified.

Unfortunately, I am realistic about the world we live in, and I fear that the hateful, bigoted, religious extremists will force the issue of screening for these biological traits, in an effort to make gay people inferior. Even more, I fear that they will go further, and try to eliminate gay people from being born.

I hope that just because we identify that being gay isn’t because “you took dance instead of playing basketball”, and that it is because “you were born biologically homosexual”; people will NOT seek to eliminate the biological traits that make us special, unique, and wonderful.

Being gay is being different.
Being gay is being who we were born to be.
Being gay is who I am.
Being gay is who many others are as well.
Being gay is normal.

We are no less human, nor any less worthy of our lives as gay people, than anyone who is black, female, blonde haired, or left-handed is worthy of their life as who they were born. I hope that we can continue to live in a diverse world that begins to see these studies as a means of acceptance, and not as a means of elimination.

Given the tone this article has the potential to set, I for one, want to focus on the pride that I have for who I am, the community that I identify myself with, and what it means to sit here, typing this post as a proud gay man. It has been a long journey, but I know that I have a long way to go; and I couldn’t be happier that I get to take the journey myself. This weekend, I will celebrate this with my fellow gays in Atlanta, and it will be a beautiful thing. After the weekend, I will tell you all about it. Come out and see us if you can!

Happy Pride, y’all.

family values, or neoconservative propaganda?

Yesterday morning, before work, I got a call from a solicitor. When I answered the phone, the lady on the other end asked for the woman of the house. I informed her there was no woman of the house, and that the man of the house was speaking. She then went into her scripted speech about her cause; the Dove Foundation. She asked me questions about whether I was concerned about the “lack” of “family” oriented movies that are being produced by Hollywood. I told her no. Shocked, because she said “oh”, she continues to throw “facts” at me about how many more R rated movies are produced, and how there aren’t enough “family” oriented films being produced at the same rates. She then asked if I was concerned that this gap was so disparate, and asked why I thought it was. I then told her that movies are made to make profits; Hollywood makes movies that will sell, and it is less about family entertainment, and more about profit margins. Again, I got an “oh”. All in all, I listened to her spiel, I was polite, and our call ended with the traditional no three times rule (which is really annoying by the way).

As I got to thinking about the call, and after investigating the foundation, I felt the need to post about it, because I had some thoughts I wanted to express. First of all, I thought it was odd that she would initially ask for the woman of the household. Perhaps this foundation believes that it is the mother, not the father, who has the job of protecting and representing the “family” values that the Dove Foundation so solidly wants? Or maybe she just wanted to talk to a woman, either way, it was something to think about.

After investigating the website, and their justifications for backing one film, and not backing another, I found it to be pretty inconsistent with regards to violence and representations of “family”. Take for instance, they approved Spiderman 3 (which is no doubt, a violent film), but did not approve Pirates of the Caribbean, citing that Pirates was too violent. Now, I don’t see a need for an organization to approve or disapprove a film because of the level of clearly fictionalized violence, because if you are a parent, you should be intelligent enough to know that each of these films holds the potential to be violent, and as such, may be inappropriate for children; especially considering that each of these films are rated PG-13. If you lack this sort of filtering mechanism, well, I don’t really know what to say other than, wow, you are pretty willfully ignorant, so it probably doesn’t matter to you what your kids watch, does it?

But the violence inconsistency wasn’t what got my goat; it was the disapproval for movies that represented anything that wasn’t the judeo-christian “norm” of family (again, with inconsistency). I looked up three films that I thoroughly enjoy and own, all of which are rated PG-13: Best in Show, Rent, and De-Lovely. I picked these films, because I had a hunch that a film that portrayed gays in a positive light would not be approved by the “family”-centered foundation. I was correct. Each film was shot down, and here are some of the descriptions that were used as to why they were not approved:

Best in Show:

Content Description: Sex: picture of gay man in strange outfit, baring his bare bottom; two men kiss briefly; two women, outing their attraction for each other, kiss passionately; one woman has been sexually promiscuous in her past; the discourse coming form the gay couple is peppered with references to homosexuality – three other sexually based dialogues.

Rent:

RENT As you can tell from the above synopsis, this is NOT a family-friendly film. Like it or not, it is a peek into the underground world of drugs and homosexuality among a group of friends on the streets of New York at the “End of the Millennium.” Don’t let the singing fool you, this is serious stuff. Be prepared to see same-sex kissing, crude and suggestive dancing, cross-dressing, prostitution, drug addiction and withdrawal, and the effects of AIDS. The homosexual lifestyle is portrayed as acceptable and supported by family and friends.

and finally, De-Lovely:

De-Lovely has much to offer both musically and dramatically. And in a day when Christians are faced with pressures to consider homosexuality an acceptable lifestyle, De-Lovely may be worth seeing and discussing simply because it approaches the topic without being terribly graphic. It includes males dancing and kissing as well as implied sexual encounters. The film promotes the claim that homosexuals, like heterosexuals, are simply searching for love in their own way. Unfortunately, appropriate moral commentary is absent from this film, making it impossibel (this was taken from the site, as is) for awarding it the Dove Seal. The film adds crude and profane language.

What I see as something that IS consistent, is a disdain for anything that portrays homosexuals in a positive manner, or anything that shows the acceptance of homosexuality as a part of someones life. That disgusts me, especially because they rest on the laurels of promoting “family” values. This says to me, as a gay man, that I do not represent family values because I am gay and proud of who I am. This says that my friends, who are a lesbian couple with three children, are not a family, because they represent a positive example of a homosexual couple successfully raising children. That is religious propaganda, and should be called out for what it is. If you want to say that you promote family values, then promote happiness, safety, love, compassion, togetherness, and other positive values that would be fitting for any family to strive for. If you want to prevent children from being exposed to these “crude” representations of actual life, that I totally understand, as I would never take my child to see any of these films. BUT, that doesn’t mean that these films don’t contain elements of normalcy, decency, and representations of family, love, happiness, and life. To deny that, and to say that you don’t approve, represents ignorance, and more importantly, participation in a neoconservative propaganda campaign against homosexuality, and frankly, sexuality all together. That is a scary thing, especially considering the rate at which young people are being affected by AIDS these days; ignorance will make it worse.

Finally, I also found it interesting how much praise was given to the story of a father and son, which begins with a pretty jarring representation of mass murder, where the mother and all but the one son are brutally killed (even though it is implied and not explicitly shown). What movie to I speak of? Why, Finding Nemo of course!! What I find disturbing about their strong approval of this film, is that I personally know that there are several children that are traumatized by the beginning scene that I speak of, so much so, that if they would have been taken to see this Dove approved film in the theater, the parents would have been forced to take them outside because of the trauma and crying that would ensue. Forgetting that intensely jarring detail that happens at the beginning of the film seems pretty negligent of this organization, in my opinion.

Perhaps this organization would be better served by trying to make more films that it deems positive, and spend less time trying to denigrate other films that represent alternative facets of society. By doing what they are doing, they are proving that not only are their “values” inconsistent in several cases, but they are taking a positive effort to provide “family safe” entertainment, and hiding it under a religious, neoconservative, hate-filled propaganda campaign. So I say, don’t turn your positive into a negative; if you really want “family safe” entertainment, exercise a level of intelligence when taking your kids to the movies. Unlike what they are saying, there isn’t a lack of “family” movies at all, and damning all the ones that they don’t approve of is distracting from their cause (if that really is their cause).