I thought it appropriate to post my picture I took last year at Pride, of my buddy Josh showing the Christian nutjobs where to stick it, as we head out to the festival this afternoon.
Hope everyone has a great Pride. Who knew that celebrating diversity and unity could be so fun!?
Happy Pride!
If you don’t know who Katy Perry is, she is the chick that has made a hit out of kissing a girl (even though Jill Sobule did it many years ago, and unlike Perry, didn’t seem to have any issues with it) and then telling the world about it. As much as I wanted to like the song “I Kissed a Girl” (currently #2 on iTunes) by Perry, I initially didn’t feel like it was a good message. She sings about how it feels “wrong”, and even worse, she says that kissing girls isn’t what “good girls do”. However, after looking at the song from a different perspective, I figured that maybe she didn’t mean that at all; in fact, perhaps what good girls don’t do, is cheat on their boyfriends… and in that case, this song is playful, and not grounded in hate at all.
However (and a HUGE however), after checking her out further, and really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt with her “experimentation” with homosexual kissing, I found something that really makes me scratch my head and wonder if there is some problem that Katy has with gay people. She has a song called “Ur So Gay”, which has been called the “ultimate kiss-off” to a boy that was too “full of himself” to give her the time of day. In the song, she describes everything “wrong” with him, building to the conclusion that he must be gay, even though he doesn’t like boys (which, is the actual only ACCURATE use of the word gay… that which is glaringly absent from her song).
While many will see this accurately as a joke, the underlying message is too clear to ignore; Katy sees being gay as wrong, abnormal, and most importantly, as an insult that she uses to make herself feel better for being dissed. What’s wrong with that, some of you may wonder? Well, the underlying message is hate speech, and here again, I can’t believe that we have yet another example of someone using the description of a person’s sexual orientation as a slur of any kind.
Katy dear, this is 2008. We need to stop using gay as an insult; being gay is normal. If you use “gay” as synonym for bad, negative, horrible, stupid, or any of the many other derogatory words it has been used in place of to place insult, then you are propagating and continuing the underlying bigotry that is so fervent in this country. Continuing this form of “hidden” bigotry is just intolerable, and I for one feel like I must continue to speak out against it.
“Artists” like Katy Perry should be confronted with the fact that their “silly, harmless jokes” are grounded in hateful, shameful, and derogatory feelings that only further the bigotry against gay people in this country. It isn’t “cute” or “funny” that she kissed another girl, it is normal; whether or not she can deal with her homosexual feelings is her problem, not ours.
If you don’t see this as a big deal, ask yourself: would it be cute or funny if she wrote a song about how weird it was for her to kiss a black person?? How do you think that would that go over? Additionally, if she were to write a song about how awful a boy was because he was so “stereotypically black”, how would that sound? Well, I know how it would sound, in one word: RACIST. So I want to know why is it okay to apply that same sentiment to gay people?? Clearly, it isn’t, and I honestly can’t believe that this type of message is still put out there; yet here it is.
Shame on you Katy Perry. Grow up. Become more than that stereotypical playground bully. Gain some intelligence (clearly, that is lacking, because being gay means “liking boys” if you are male, and she doesn’t seem to put two and two together in her song) and perspective, and realize that, even in a “joking” manner, that using the term “gay” to insult someone is causing harm to the gay community in perpetuating the very hate and indifference we are fighting so hard to get rid of. I always cling to the hope that people can be better than they are, but it is people like Katy Perry that continually let me down. Unfortunately, there are people out there that are just waiting to gobble this crap up, and morons like Perry are ready to give them more. I have to ask myself, can there truly be a time when we can all stop the name calling, and just see each other as equal? Can their truly be a time when gay people can be treated as the normal people that we are, and not continually insulted and have our lifestyle continually used as a form of degradation? Little things like this really make me wonder if people are truly capable of that at all, unfortunately.
Sigh. Hopefully, she will fade into the distance soon, and people will rightfully forget about her ignorance; even though it is bound to pop up somewhere else.
The season finale of Brothers and Sisters was magnificent. The wedding between Kevin and Scotty was gorgeous and touching. It was moving to see two men get married on TV, and it be treated as a joyous event. I couldn’t help but find it a bit fitting, though, that it aired on Mother’s day, and that Scotty’s parents refused to come to the wedding because of their beliefs.
My parents have never said it to my face, but I know they don’t “approve” of my life. It doesn’t really make sense, however, because my life is nothing they have the option to approve of or not; I am who I am, take it or leave it. I made the choice to be myself, and if you don’t like it, that is not my problem. I almost cried when they showed Scotty’s parents reacting the way they did; not because I felt bad for Scotty, even though I do. Mostly, I felt bad for his parents, and in the same way, I felt bad for mine. They are missing out on my life because of choices that they are making.
I called my mother today, and was only able to leave her a message. Same for my sister. Neither returned my call. My grandma talked to me for over and hour, and was elated that I called. I guess that you have to make choices in your life; we all do. They did, and so do I. And I have. Regardless of how they can burn sometimes when you think about them, getting to those decisions was hard enough, that you have to really stick by them. After all… you weren’t the only one that made a choice; you are just the one that made the choice to make yourself happy.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom… I hope it was great. It’s sad we can’t be more of a family, but I understand. I can’t change it, and I am okay with that. I have learned to live with it, and as such, I’ll move on like I always do. I hope you know that I love you, and that you know that I can’t change, and that I can only live my life for me at this point; so that’s what I am doing.
Let me just start by saying that I am sure that what I am going to say about this will make some people mad. That being said, if you don’t like my opinion, realize that it is just my opinion, and then get over it.
I read an article today talking about how Obama would do what he could to get don’t ask don’t tell repealed if he were elected president. I ask myself, seriously, why this is an issue that he would be concerned with, and perhaps more importantly, why this is being used as a method of placating the gay community for their vote? I mean, repealing this archaic policy is not going to end homophobia and the dangers associated with the anti-gay sentiments running very lively through the current military, so I don’t see a need in getting rid of it. The only important point made in the article is the only thing that Obama should be touting, and reinforcing that he is really for:
He said he’s frequently spoken out against homophobia and in support of gay rights.
My point: does the policy keeps out gays? No. There are gay people in the military. Does it protect gay people? No. Two words: Barry Winchell. He wasn’t even gay, but was beaten to death by a fellow soldier because he thought that he was. Don’t ask don’t tell is a stupid policy that was created by straight men in an effort to use that whole “it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t act on it” argument in order to “allow” gay people to be in the military. Yes, there are gay people that have been kicked out of the military when it was “found out” that they were gay, but honestly, if an institution such as the military is SOOOOOO threatened by the mere presence of gay people, then I have a very hard time believing that it is JUST the DADT rule that this strong ideal comes from.
I say, that if you want to be in the military, and if you are gay, then you clearly know what you are getting into. It is a gay-fearing institution, that is chock full of overly aggressive, and in some cases, clearly unstable, men and women. Does that describe everyone in the military? NO! But you have to be aware that there may be one crazy that will be in your platoon (or whatever they call the groups you are assigned to) that would just as soon kill you just because he might think that you are gay; whether you are gay or not. My point is, that if you want to truly do something positive for gay people with regards to the military, enforce a strict anti-homophobia policy, and enact strict punishments for those that violate them.
While I think that don’t ask don’t tell is a crock of horseshit, I do have to say that I like it for one reason: it means that I will never, ever have to serve in the military. I have gay friends in the military, and I fully appreciate everything that they have given for this country, but I can’t say that I would do the same. This season on the L Word, they had this scenario were one of the characters was in the military, and was being investigated for being gay. In the end, she was put on trial, and they made her lover testify against her. Her lover refused, and turned the tables on the prosecutor; but the most important part of the whole trial happened when the accused soldier refused to just let it go. She said it plainly and simply; she was tired of having someone treat her, or someone that she loved like a criminal because of who they were, and that if this was going to be the way that the military treated them, that she didn’t feel like that was where she belonged.
While there are many that will disagree with her, I don’t. I cannot see myself supporting an organization that is so afraid of my sexuality, that they would harm me or treat my loved ones like criminals if they suspected I might be gay. Additionally, I wouldn’t want to support a system that is dead set on keeping me in second class citizen status.
There are so many issues here that need to be addressed, and I don’t think that simply repealing don’t ask don’t tell is the answer. I think that by oversimplifying this problem, Obama, and those like him, are politicking in the worst way, and are trying to wave “goodies” in the face of gay voters, hoping to earn their support.
Listen, Obama, we got you. We are going to vote for you (for the most part… Log Cabin Republicans most likely won’t). However, get it through your thick skull that trying to overturn a simple, archaic rule isn’t going to change the state of homophobia in the military, and as such, is not offering any gay person that participates in the military any more REAL protection. Until you want to put your head on the chopping block and go balls to the wall saying that you want to do everything in your power to make sure that everyone in this country is treated fairly and equally, as it says in the constitution, then please, quit the politicking, and just stick to letting us know that you have our backs.
Anything less is just annoying, and frankly, insulting to my intelligence. I don’t think that that repealing don’t ask don’t tell will really have the ramifications that you imply; and I don’t think that I am alone in that sentiment.
So this weekend was the beginning of the fourth series of the amazing show Dr. Who on the BBC. Unfortunately for us, it hasn’t hit our televisions yet, but that didn’t stop me from tracking down the show via the interwebs, and getting my Dr. Who fix last night.
I enjoyed the episode, however, and really love that they didn’t mess with the formula that has worked so well for three great seasons so far. I am looking forward to getting to know Donna more, and seeing the adventures that she and the Doctor go on. I have heard that Rose (*squeee!!!!*), Martha, and Jack are all supposed to pop back up this season, so I can say that I am definitely looking forward to how this season progresses. I may not be able to watch the show when it is broadcast, but hey, I get to see it commercial free, which is better anyways, right? (which, it airs commercial free on the BBC, but anyway…)
Also, on a totally unrelated note, does this piss anyone else off but me?? Seriously. Perez fucking Hilton is the #16 “most influential” gay person? Gag. Puke. Repeat.
I don’t know if you have all heard about this Republican representative named Sally Kern, and the speech that she gave about her views on homosexuality, but it is apparently all over the interwebs. I heard about it last week, but didn’t really feel a need to shine a light on yet another hateful rant that someone felt the need to give showing their bigoted views against homosexuality. However, after seeing the following clip, I felt compelled to say something:
Clearly, she is confused. Clearly, she has her facts wrong, and it becomes rapidly apparent when you hear just how deluded she is in stating the aforementioned items as fact. Yet, again, she has the right to say it. However, as a public figure, and as a representative, it isn’t her place to preach such hate. If she wants to open up her own church and spread as much religious fanaticism as she wants, so be it, but there is no place for elected people to be spreading such misinformation, and passing it off as fact.
I am frustrated by this woman, mostly because of the video above. She clearly has been called out, yet refuses to acknowledge that what she has done is spread misinformation, while representing herself as an elected public figure. I just think there should be some boundaries, and she clearly doesn’t agree. I personally hope that this is the, as she put it, “death knell” in the coffin of her public service career. Nutjobs like this belong in backwoods churches and not public office. Unfortunately, it is this type of message that leads to the killing of gays and lesbians, like the young boy who was murdered for wanting his classmate to be his valentine. It is sickening to be reminded by little things like this, that we live in a country where the people that hate us so vehemently don’t just live outside of our borders.
I personally think that it is sad that people have such little value in living their own lives, that they must find reasons to attack others. That they must find so much hate inside themselves, that they feel compelled to spread lies and further hateful ideas about certain people that they don’t “agree” with. I feel sorry for people like Sally. It must be difficult to live in a world where you are so clouded by the religious beliefs that you have chosen to use in shrouding you from truth, so much so, that you really and truly believe such ridiculous things as she said. Furthermore, I think that other Christians, more than we gays, should be (and probably are) completely ashamed that someone so clearly deranged is speaking out and representing them. It is just incredibly frustrating that people can wrap themselves in the Bible, and then become the biggest possible hypocrite in the world, by calling you a faggot at the same time. Where’s the love that your religion preaches Sally? Clearly, it isn’t in you.
Sally, you are worse than we. We don’t harm America; people like you do. Your speech shows an inability to learn or grow, and a mindset that fuels the very terrorism that you are so against. People like you are, and will remain, one of the biggest problems that plagues this nation. I sincerely hope that this is the last time that you are given the mic, and that soon, you will no longer be representing your religious fanaticism as an elected official.
In order to lighten the mood a bit, here’s a lovely clip from Ellen, who called Sally:
I saw this on towleroad this morning, and it seriously pissed me the fuck off:
Last night on Big Brother 9’s live feed, gay housemate Joshuah attempted to educate James, Chelsia, and Sharon on the ins and outs (so to speak) of gay sex. He also spreads some misinformation about protecting oneself from HIV:
“I do bareback with my boyfriend. We’ve both been tested for HIV and we’re both negative so it’s cool. I only do that with my boyfriend. I don’t do that on a random one night stand. That’s too risky. If you’re a top it’s okay because you can’t really get HIV from being the top because you’re penetrating them…”
I just want to know; are people really as stupid as this, or is this dumb ass alone in his thinking? Well, clearly, he isn’t alone, as the rates of infection continue to increase amongst gay men, which is not only disheartening, but it is disturbing. Yet, I still cannot even fathom why people are still this moronic about something as HUGE as HIV! Why on earth are people stupid enough to believe that you can’t get HIV if you are a top? Where did this moronic idea come from, and why is it, that gay men STILL believe it?!?!
It blows my mind. I have worked in HIV prevention for many years, and hearing shit like this just sends me over the edge. A part of me wants to say, “people just CAN’T believe that, because clearly, people are smarter than that… aren’t they?”, but I know that people really are this stupid. What has to happen to you for you to get it? Do you have to get IT? I just don’t understand how something as serious as HIV is taken so lightly, especially after it has been around for so very long. It is baffling.
So I’m going to put this out there, for all the morons: YES Virginia, you CAN get HIV if you are a top. Wear a condom you idiot, because clearly, you aren’t smart enough to know better. Wake the fuck up, and realize that this thing is called a goddamned epidemic for a reason.
/rant
In this clip, Ellen speaks about something very real and very dangerous, and unfortuantely, something that affects us all; HATE:
Seeing this clip (thanks to vanyel) makes me wonder AGAIN, why this isn’t common knowledge, and it makes me wonder how many times we are going to have to say this before it actually changes. I feel horrible for that boy’s family, and for any other family that has been devastated by hate. I am sick of hearing “that’s so gay”, and letting it go, because it isn’t funny. Ellen is right; being gay is not funny, IT’S NORMAL, and until we get that to be the message that everyone hears, things are just going to continue. I never thought I would want to be normal, but that’s exactly what would be the best thing for gay people; acknowledging that we are actually normal.
Is it so much to want to live in a world where you aren’t hated because of who you love? I would like to think that it isn’t too much to ask at all. I am just sickened by all of the hate and cruelty that is taught in this world, and how it is being passed on to our youth.
This past weekend, me and several friends ventured out to a new (as in, we had never been there new) bar called BJ Roosters for a friend’s birthday. He said that they normally had go-go dancers on Saturday night, but as it turns out, they had them on Friday night as well. While the whole “half naked dancing men on a bar” thing does nothing but make me a little uncomfortable, I looked at the situation as an adventure, and as such, proceeded to drink enough so as not to worry too much about it.
We settled in one of the little rooms, and not 2 minutes after we had taken our seats, one of the many strippers came into our room to “see what we were up to”. As he entered, wearing nothing but underwear, he asked enthusiastically, “what are you guys talking about in here?” as he jumped up on the table that sat between the two facing couches that we occupied. I told him that we were just talking about random stuff, and then he pulled out his dick, and asked me if we wanted to talk about that. Well, I never. I told him that he was more than welcome to talk about it, but I would pass, as I didn’t see a need to talk about his penis, being that it was his and all. Unsatisfied with my answer, he sought further approval from my other friends. After we all gave a pretty clear “we are not interested” series of responses, he felt the need to “get something” out of the encounter, and proceeded to bend over, pull down his underwear, and requested that I smack his ass. In fact, he said “smack it!” very forcefully at me. I politely declined, and then he turned to my friend Chris, and insisted that he “slap that ass!”. Chris also declined, which prompted him to ask, “damn, isn’t anyone gonna smack this ass?”, to which my friend Rich responded, “I will!”, and slapped the hell out of him. He seemed satisfied, so he pulled up the underwear and left us alone for the rest of the night.
It was definitely an interesting place. There was once “dancer” in particular who we watched intently; not because he was cute or good, but because he was so tweaked out of his mind that he was barely able to stand on the bar, let alone “dance”. It was a funny, but kind of sad sight to behold. Needless to say, he was the entertainment we enjoyed the most all evening.
The one saving grace of that place, was the amazingly hot bartender who totally gave me a “gay discount”. He looked a lot like Shayne Ward, and I was swooning over him all night. After seeing my tab, it appears I wasn’t the only one looking… or maybe he just mis-charged me… Either way, the boy was HOT.
Switching to a completely different topic, we finally got our wireless network back up and running last night, after James decided to reset everything on Monday without consulting me. He wiped out every setting, meaning that I had to re-set up everything; which wouldn’t have been a problem, if I knew all the settings I had put on it in the first place. On top of it all, after I set it up, the Xbox wouldn’t recognize the network no matter what I did. On a hunch, I suggested that we get a new router, and low and behold, the problem has been solved. Hooray for working technology; boo to partners that don’t consult you before messing something up that they themselves cannot fix. Oh well… all’s well that ends well, right?
In case you may be like me, and are saddened by the fact that there is practically NOTHING to watch on TV these days (thanks to the writer’s strike), I have good news; I am here to rescue you from TV boredom!! Tonight is the season 2 premiere of Torchwood, the most fantastical show, fresh from BBC America! For those of you that have no idea what Torchwood is, here’s a brief “synopsis”, from wikipedia:
Torchwood is a science fiction drama television programme, created by Russell T Davies and starring John Barrowman and Eve Myles. It deals with the machinations and activities of the Cardiff branch of the fictional Torchwood Institute, who deal with supernatural occurrences.
Basically, it is technically a spin off of the recent revival of the Dr Who series, but in my opinion, it is much more serious (no camp here folks), and more adult; not to mention, better in my opinion. It is great television, and has a serious edge to it, which is both refreshing, and fun to watch.
If you need any further reason to get on board with Torchwood, check this clip out from one of my favorite episodes in season one:
