Tag: frustration

all about me, well?

buying a computer may just be…

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…one of the most stressful and frustrating things that you can do in life. I have been looking for several hours at different features, different prices, and different brands, trying to make a choice that I won’t regret. What I have found out, other than realizing that I don’t really want to buy one, is that there is absolutely no solid consensus on which brand/model is better, and why. Even consumer reports finds that the difference isn’t significant between the top brands (with of course, the exception being Apple).

While I would love to get an Apple, I simply cannot afford it, and I sit here scratching my head, wondering which PC would be the best for me. I have had HP in the past, and only started to hate it once it started getting slower and slower. That was a result of time, I know, but the damn thing still works, and it was purchased in 1998. So I guess that is saying something personally for HP. BUT, James has a Dell, and loves it. No complaints. Other people want to piss on Dell, so there is no consensus as to which of the two is better. And then you have to consider that there is Gateway, eMachines, IBM, etc, out there, that may or may not be any better; again, can’t seem to find a consensus.

Overall, buying a new PC, something that I thought I would really look forward to, as my slow ass laptop leaves me more frustrated with every click of that iTunes icon, has turned out to be a solid example of frustration. Major frustration. I am going up to Best Buy to see if I can make any progress with a Geek Squad person, but I am sure that they are just going to try and up-sale me on a system that I don’t need.

Are there any computer experts out there that have a definitive word as to which computer would make for the best purchase? I don’t do any gaming with my PC, and I use it mostly for photo editing, mp3s, and the internet. I also tend to watch videos, but that is usually late at night, if you know what I mean. I don’t need anything super powered, but I want something that will run pretty fast, and do it every time. I want a machine that won’t break the day after the service plan expires, and I want one that will actually run the fucking “standard” Windows Vista. Do you have any answers to quiet my frustrated mind?

An appropriate response will not include any of the following:
“dude, just buy an apple.”
“I hate _______.”
“I have never had a problem with mine, but I haven’t really heard anything else either”.
“have you checked consumer reports?”
“get a ____, I work there!”

Alright, there it is. Let me know what you think. It should also be said that I have a Toshiba laptop which has been a gem of a computer, but they don’t seem to do much in the way of desktops, which is what this whole quest is centered on finding. I just hope that I can find something that will make me happy, and not take my wallet through the ringer in the process.

HELP!

BIG ASS UPDATE: So, um, should I just say FUCK IT, and go with a Mac Mini? I mean shit, it is only $50 more than the HP I am looking at. Seriously. Who thinks that is the best idea?

all about me, blog on blog, politics, well?

ways to make yourself extremely frustrated

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Update: Good grief. More frustration just in: Here’s another way to get frustrated; you realize that these are the people that are leading the country, and that they probably think that this is true. Tony Snow says that the Congress doesn’t have oversight of what the White House does. Hmm… I’m pretty sure that is the point of having a Congress, but then again, I’m not the press secretary, so maybe I got it wrong. Frustrating indeed. I guess we could just get rid of Congress you know, and then Bush could be the dictator he always wanted to be. That way, no one would be able to weigh in on any decisions that he makes, and he could just do whatever he wanted! Geez… what tyrants these boys keep proving themselves to be!

Right now, the number one way I am making myself frustrated, is trying to figure out how to change some of the things on my blog template. I feel like the side bar is extremely cluttered, and I wanted to get a drop down menu thing going on for the categories and the archives. But it doesn’t seem to be a solution out there that doesn’t require me to be an expert at PHP. I have toyed around with all of the suggestions I could find, and ended up more frustrated than anything, because nothing worked. Also, I don’t know if you have seen the files for the wordpress theme K2 or not, but when I click on edit, and it displays the code, I start to have the shakes and go into a pre-convulsive state.

I managed to learn quite a lot when I first started blogging, mainly, updating my HTML skills to moderate from easy, and learning all I could about CSS. The result was that I was able to edit and develop the template that I liked the most, and I was even lucky enough to stumble onto helpful solutions (the same drop down menu problem as now, was solved before). But I just feel lost right now. I mean, PHP seems SOOO confusing to me, mainly because it is this completely foreign code. I totally get CSS, but PHP is miles above my head.

Is there anyone out there that feels my frustration and wants to lend a helpful hint as to how I can A) learn some PHP so that I can do this myself, and B) point me in a direction where I will be able to find the solution? I am tired of going around in circles on the forums trying to see if anyone else has the same issue, only to see that they too never got it resolved.

I am also interested in maybe designing my own template, not because I don’t like K2 (because I really do), but because I don’t want to be limited in the future because of this template.

And that’s where I am sitting at this Friday afternoon. I hope everyone else is have a good day. One final note, yesterday, James and I met some old friends for beers after work, and it was definitely a great time. All of us haven’t gotten together in quite a while, and it was really nice to reconnect, and it made me realize that it has been too long. I hope that this is a sign that we will all start doing more things together, because good friends are certainly hard to come by, and when you have them, life is good.

all about me, hotness, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, near and dear, politics, the catch-all-egory, venting

the wednesday run-down

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Today, there are 5 distinct thoughts running through my head, so I thought I would give you a run down. In summation, here it is: 1) come on Dems!, 2) get this CD NOW, 3) examining relationships, 4) buying too much stuff?, and finally 5) comments on TV things. Let’s get started, but let’s keep it brief.

First of all, most people don’t think that I am critical (enough) of the Democrats actions. They are wrong. This is just great; now we can EXPECT an attack on Iran. Why were these guidelines abandoned? This just seems to keep getting worse and worse; if we don’t at least put caps and regulations on things, then things will continue to go in the same direction, and there will be NO changes. That can’t be allowed to happen! We need to send a message, that is LOUD and CLEAR to the president; no more occupation! No more war! Things just seem to be idling along, while real action needs to be taken. This is seriously disappointing, to say the least. UGH. We need some people that will take real action, fast.

In lighter fare, I am proud to announce the American release of a GREAT UK artist’s sophomore disc, entitled Back to Black. It is none other than the fantastical Amy Winehouse, and you must do yourself a favor and buy this CD today. It is only $8 at Target and Best Buy, and it is definitely $8 well spent. Let’s show our appreciation for bringing great artists to our shores, rather than leaving them as imports. Amy’s voice is an old classic voice, much like Billy Holiday, and it has power, class, soul, and life. The music is fantastic, like a hip hop jazz, and you will enjoy this if you enjoy great music. Do yourself a favor and pick it up today!

Relationships. UGH. Sometimes they are great. Sometimes they suck. Sometimes you realize that certain relationships in your life are not worth fighting for, but for whatever reason, they go on, because you let them. You don’t want yourself to be like them, so you do your part; even when they don’t do theirs. All that leads to is frustration, and the occasional cryptic portion of a blog post. I am just wondering what I will do next time they take it upon themselves to call. Perhaps I will just let it go for months on end, as it seems they prefer to do themselves; or maybe I will do what I did this time, and just suck it up, and sit through another fake attempt to maintain something that isn’t really there in the first place. Oh well… we’ll see. Relationships can really take it out of you. Thank God for the good ones.

I spent a lot of money yesterday and goodies that made me feel better. Sometimes, you just gotta pull out that card and swipe it. I am glad that I did, but I need to calm down. This is kind of a suggestion and a reminder of that need. Retail therapy! WOO!

Finally, I just want to say this, if you watch 24, were you not extremely excited that Martha came back this week? Even more than that, can you BELIEVE what she did to Logan?!?!? I LOVE YOU JEAN SMART!!!! YAY! Also, if that Sanjaya Malakar makes it through, I will be PISSED. Melinda, girl, you are my favorite, and I hope you win. Lastly, I wouldn’t mind having a three-way (or a four way if James wants in) with Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis. Those boys are hot AND they can sing!

Hope everyone is having a great hump day! That’s the run-down! I’m out!

all about me, listen up!, politics, venting

frustrated

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Sometimes… this is how I feel. Completely and utterly frustrated with things, so much so, that I just want to throw my hands up and scream.

For the past two days, things that I have said have caused a handful of people to just go on the warpath, and continually berate me about how wrong I am, and why. What is missing from what they have decided to argue with me about, is what I believe, and why my opinion is just as valid as theirs. I am all for having a discussion with anyone about their views, and I am all for someone disagreeing with me, but my desire to continually go back and forth with someone ceases when the person with which I am speaking continually tells me I am wrong, and they are right, if for no other reason, than because they are right. Also, when people say that I am a certain way, and that they have determined this based on one thing that I have said, I get extremely irritated, especially when this picture they have painted of me simply isn’t true. I want to be fair and say that I enjoy people coming to this site and expressing their opinions, this is in no way a request for that to end. I am totally fine with you saying that you don’t agree with what I am saying. I am even fine with you pointing out how I was wrong, and helping me to see a different perspective. But what I am not fine with, is coming here, taking things that I say, and then using them to describe me as delusional, irrational, and living in a dream world, because that simply isn’t true.

If I were constantly writing about crazy off the wall shit, that I believed to be factual and correct, then I can see where this would come from, but that isn’t what I have ever done on this blog, so this form of proving me wrong is a little confusing to me. Most of the time I write about something, it is to offer my opinion on what I think of something that is going on in the news or in the world. While that opinion may not work for you, it is MY opinion, and I am not delusional or irrational just because I don’t have an opinion that is a carbon copy of your own. If you want to continually think this way about anything or everything that I write about, that is fine, but I don’t see how it is productive to continually come here and see who can shout the loudest, causing us to go back and forth, all the while getting nowhere. If, on the other hand, you want to talk about my opinion, refrain from insulting my intelligence during the discussion, and avoid using an all or nothing allegory to describe what I have said, then I welcome your input on the subject. Don’t mistake this as a notice that I will begin moderating or removing comments that I don’t approve of; as I have said before, and I will always believe, the only time I will remove a comment, is when someone directly attacks me, which I find inappropriate, and since it is my blog, I can extinguish.

All in all, I am glad that you read my blog, and that you actually take the time to hear what I have to say. What I want for the future of this blog, is less of a dick measuring contest to determine who is the “rightest”, and more of a dialogue, which may result in a more well rounded perspective. I honestly believe that while we may not agree on something, there is definitely a gray area on every issue, and a “best” choice about something is definitely subjectively determined. While that is the case, I think that a happy medium is often the best stance, and given the way the past two days worth of back and forth guerrilla finger pointing have gone, I think that we can find a better way to converse, and ultimately, either agree, come to a middle ground, or agree to disagree. Remember, I have changed my views on things in the past based on being shown different perspectives, and by being open minded, and I can guarantee that the same thing will occur in the future. What I will not tolerate, is people continually twisting what I say, and using all or nothing comparisons to invalidate my opinions just because those opinions don’t work for them.

Again, thanks for reading my blog, and I hate writing posts like this, but this one has been actually very cathartic. I feel that this is a more civil and responsible way to express what I have felt continually for the past couple of days, and I hope that it is a step in a new, and better direction. Remember, I welcome your feedback, in fact, I look forward to it, but please realize that you don’t have to hammer it home that I am so wrong that I am delusional, just to get me to recognize that you have a differing, and equally valid, opinion. Thanks for listening.

is it just me?, listen up!, politics, venting

just a few thoughts

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On Iraq:

  • I really hope that Congress does something useful for a change; we need to get out of Iraq and soon. Seriously, when you have no idea what constitutes a “successful” mission, then you have no goal, and that is scary; especially when it is costing us thousands of lives (3100 and growing… not counting the hundreds of thousands Iraqi deaths), and destroying hundreds of thousands more.
  • If you think that sending 20k+ more troops to Iraq will solve the problem, please explain that to me, especially because the top military officials have said that it will take more than 5 times that amount to even do anything (which would mean a total occupation, which is not what we are supposed to be doing over there). Their recommendations are to get out… why aren’t we listening and actually doing something to accomplish that goal?
  • Do you think that we are really going to attack Iran? I don’t get why we would want to do that; especially when we really aren’t supposed to, like we weren’t supposed to attack Iraq (at least, not without UN counsel, yeah, that we forgot to do with Iraq). I mean, the president is really pushing it now… it is like he has a personal vendetta with that whole region (and I think that he probably does). It looks more and more everyday like the only reason why we chose to occupy that territory (which we are doing, and it is also what we said we wouldn’t be doing), was so the contracting companies could get even richer. What sucks, is that we, the taxpayers, have to pay for that; and if not us, then our kids will. That just makes me sick.
  • Yes I support the troops, so don’t even go there. The people that don’t support the troops are those that underfund and under supply the troops that need our support that are already in Iraq, as well as those coming home injured and abused. It is inexcusable to say that you support the troops when you don’t provide them with the equipment to adequately protect themselves in a combat zone. It is also completely reprehensible to say you support the troops when they have to wait for VA services upon returning home from Iraq. That is just awful. Shame, shame, shame. Republicans constantly say pulling funding for the war is wrong because it will be pulling funds from those already in Iraq, when they don’t take into account that they already don’t have what the need, and the funding is active. Why can’t they see that (eh, because they don’t want to)? It doesn’t make sense.
  • What about the representatives that are still saying they agree with the war, and still want to support it? I say that you show us you are serious about your position. Give up some of your salary, and send your kids to fight. Show us you are serious. Many of those that have their kids over there are experiencing it personally, and have a better perspective on this than you do, even though you get to make the decisions; maybe it is time for you to pony up and put your money where you mouth is.
  • I have many other thoughts on this subject, but I don’t want to put too much in one post; people tend to have a hard time digesting it all… even me. So enough on Iraq for now.

On global warming:

  • Seriously. How are there people that still don’t think global warming exists?? Seriously. I saw that the Czech president said that there was no such thing, and that saying that it does exist is political propaganda. WTF dude? Why is science so scary for some people?
  • How can we, as the biggest locust nation on the planet, consume and consume and consume without giving much back to the environment we are raping? How come the government isn’t really doing anything about it? Does that make sense to you?
  • I am really scared to see what is going to happen over my lifetime with regards to nature, climate, and the world. We have done enough in 100 years to significantly damage a planet that has been around for billions of years. Can it be fixed? I worry that it can’t.

On depression:

  • I really think that people don’t understand my sometimes. I feel like I talk about how I feel, and it just goes right in one ear, and out the other, mostly because people essentially tell me that the way to get over my depression is to get over it. I freak out because I can’t get over it, and I don’t understand why others can’t see that.
  • I also freak out because I worry that I am being too needy. I worry about my depression which causes more depression. That doesn’t even make sense! UGH! I feel trapped in a box with no way out… depression sounds a lot like desperation.
  • I often wonder if we truly do deserve to be happy. What if we don’t?
  • I read an article earlier today about evolutionary psychology, and how it viewed depression. It talked about depression, like other mental conditions, as being a product of evolution, and therefore, a response to change over time, both environmentally, and emotionally. Basically, they were saying that if you were depressed, it is partly because you have learned that in order to get what you need, you feel depressed, because it is an evolutionary trait we developed meet those needs. Also, depression is viewed as anger turned inward, and while I can see part of each argument, the first suggests that depression is made up; which I truly don’t believe it is, because if I made it up, I should be able to make it go away. Also, with regards to the first argument, I don’t think the reason I am depressed is so people will meet my needs, I feel like I can’t even meet my needs, which really depresses me. Explain that! With regards the the anger turned inward argument, while that may be some of depression, I don’t know how that can be all of it. Depression is such a weird thing that can be different for different people… it is so weird how even psychologists don’t grasp that concept sometimes.
  • Part of my depression comes from issues I have in life. I have talked to many people, and discovered that a lot of people share these problems. But is that supposed to make me feel bad that I feel this way? It kind of makes me feel like I am being a baby, and that freaks me out even more; mostly, because I’m not.

Well, that was probably a lot to take in today, but that is pretty much what is going on in my head right now. Feel free to discuss any of that you want to; the posts for the last couple of days haven’t seemed to interest too many readers. Hope everyone is staying dry today…