"pointless"

I still can’t believe it myself

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Last night, we had the monthly blogger meet up, where I am usually one of the last to leave. I must have been under a spell, though, because I literally had to go home at like 9. We came home, tried to watch a little of superman, and I fell asleep around 10. 10! And slept until noon today. I was really exhausted, and don’t even know why. Sorry to bail on you guys… next month I will be sure to sleep up before the meet up. Word.

Also, I am kind of excited, because a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in years will be stopping by my house today. It will be great to hear what he has been up to for the past few years (some of which, he spent in Iraq). Tonight, we are off to dinner at Flat Iron, followed by a night of karaoke at Mary’s. It’s an East Atlanta extravaganza! Hope everyone is having a great Saturday!

that is so gay

we only have heterosexual only drinking fountains here, sir

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A friend of mine and I were having a discussion yesterday about the whole issue of why gay marriage was so threatening to so many heterosexual people, and just conversing back and forth about the whole issue when she said what her main theory was; and it totally made sense. She said that she believed that the reason gay marriage is so threatening to so many people, is not because it would “disrupt the institution of marriage”, or not even because it would allow us to have the same rights as other people. She said that it was because if we were allowed to marry, it would mean that eventually, we would become more visible with our relationships, and move towards being more open about the existence of those relationships. Gay people would begin to look like a couple when in public; because they would be recognized as a couple by law. We would begin to become more visible, and as such, would cement our place in mainstream society as something more than a sexual deviant or a queeny comic relief.

And you know what, I think she is right. The prospect of seeing two gay men holding hands strolling down the street is such a powerful image to some people that it can drive people to violence; it already has. I think that by “allowing” gay marriage to become legal, the threat of that image becoming more and more mainstream, and the possibility of gay people finding themselves represented more in society in a normal way is just too threatening to some people; more than “upholding the institution of marriage” (whatever that means… 50% divorce rate anyone?). What do you all think? It is an interesting idea, and one that I hadn’t really thought of before. I never made the connection, but honestly wonder, could this be it? Could this be the biggest threat to the legalization of gay marriage; mainstreaming, and thereby providing a more visible presence, of homosexuality? Hmmm… thoughts?

venting

one more medical marvel down the tubes

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So Bush decided that he wanted to veto the embryonic stem cell research bill because:

It crosses a moral boundary that a decent society needs to respect.

Not because he knows the benefits the research has produced and could continue to produce if allowed to go on. They have actually proven that stem cells can be used to regrow organs, redevelop neural pathways, and many other amazing things. They have proven that they can use stem cells to help people walk again, overcome disease that ravages their organs, and again, many other amazing things. BUT, because it is a “moral” issue as to whether or not embryonic stem cells (the most basic building blocks that can be used for countless purposes in the fight against disease and human suffering) should be used for research, one man uses this issue to stop this potentially life altering research. Does he know that embryonic stem cells can do these amazing things? Probably not, he probably doesn’t care. He, like many other Americans incorrectly see this as “taking a life”; which totally brings back the abortion issue (which I would rather not rehash). See, if using these embryos (notice they are called embryos, not children or babies), which are often donated by people that freeze several extras in order to have success with IF, is wrong, then how is throwing them away is better? I just don’t understand that. It is almost like you would cut off your arm rather than treat a wound on your hand.

I also notice how Bush continually waves around his “morals” and “values”; I just wish he would actually abide by them from time to time, instead of continually acting like a hypocrite. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?

mixed media

some of my rules of attraction

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This post has the potential to be an ongoing subject of something that I think about nearly 100 times a day (or maybe even more); attraction and sex. Basically, being that I am a guy, and guys TEND to be very visually oriented when it comes to things like sex and attraction, I find myself constantly walking by the window of different stores, and peering in at merchandise I find very appealing. Now, since I only have a credit card to one specific store, I only shop there, but it doesn’t mean I am not able to look at other things that stimulate me visually. (In case you missed that, it was a relationship metaphor, I only look, and never touch.)

But, that doesn’t stop my attraction (without action). I have to say, that I would probably just be content sitting and looking at people that I find attractive practically all day long. In fact, any people watching works for me, but specifically, when I find someone that I find attractive, I find that I am somewhat captivated by them. James is definitely the ONE in my book that I hold to be the top of my attraction, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t find other men attractive; in fact, if I said that I didn’t, that would be a lie. Anyone that says they don’t find other people attractive are lying. It is part of human nature to look for what we find attractive; the line just exists where you should never touch if you are in a relationship (at least, it is present and solid in mine; which may not work for everyone, but it works for us).

Now that I have gotten the formalities out of the way about the relationship thing, I want to talk more about that attraction I mentioned. I find that when I am watching a movie or a show, or anything really (pictures, on the internets, etc.), where I see someone that I find attractive, I usually say so. With James, he likes me to then affirm how much more attractive he is to me, which I honestly don’t mind doing, and usually do without even being asked. I find that I feel the need to say someone is attractive mainly because they are so captivating to me, and are taking up so much of my attention, so much so, that it may be the main thing that I am focused on. Take for instance the guy pictured above. This is Robert Best from this season’s Project Runway. To me, he is very attractive (although, I think he is much cuter with his glasses on. picture from fourfour‘s fabulous PR recap.), so I find myself, when watching the show, constantly looking for him, and when he is on screen, maintaining a constant focus on him. I am even looking forward to watching the show tonight, so that I can see mr. attractive on screen.

Likewise, there is the guy in the Kashi commercial, Greg (pictured here). For some reason, I just find him really attractive, so, even though we have DVR, I always watch that commercial. Now I found it on you tube, and I don’t have to wait for commercial breaks to see him, yay! He is just very attractive to me, and as such, I like to watch. I am definitely one who likes to watch people that I find attractive. And what does that mean, really? Or does it even need to mean anything? Who knows.

Do any of you have a similar response when you see someone attractive? The obvious extreme for me is Jake Gyllenhaal, where I felt the need (and still do) to get every movie he was in, so that I could see him any time I wanted. And I do. I love Jake. LOVE Jake. And I love looking at him and other men that I find attractive. I don’t think that means that I am less attracted to James because of it, but it is something that I think about a lot, so I thought I would share. Attraction is one of the principle keys to my attention, I am a very visual person, and as such, when I see someone attractive, I tend to focus on them.

Who are some of your crushes/attention grabbing people that you find yourself drawn to? Do you have similar relationships with attractiveness? How so? Am I alone on this one? (I doubt it, but just casting a wide net, here). AND, this is not limited to men (for the straight guys), do you think the same about women? Or is it just body parts?

listen up!

don’t forget to vote!

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Today’s primary day in Georgia, and if you don’t know where to vote, go to this site, and type in your info. Don’t forget to vote! Remember, if you don’t vote, you have no room to complain!

Also, I find it interesting that they are trying to get the FMA going AGAIN, and are voting on that as well this week. The reason why I find it so interesting that they have chosen to force this issue again to “protect family values”, is because there are 1000000’s of more important issues that should be of way bigger concern, but they waste time with this shit, AGAIN. It is amazing to me how you can say that you are trying to prevent gay marriage in order to preserve family values, while at the same time completely ignoring the issues that affect many families today. My point, is that instead of focusing on gay marriage (which has absolutely no effect on anything, other than discrimination against gays) why not focus on the real issues, like working on preventing homelessness, providing health care, working on insurance reform, working on immigration laws, adequately funding education, working on tax reform, and any other number of issues that totally affect family values WAY more than gay marriage. When are they going to let this go??? I will be glad to stand by and watch this vote on the FMA keep going on and on and on if ONE person that is for it can explain to me how and why gay marriage is actually a threat to family values. And believe me, you better have an extremely great reason, none of this whole being gay is a sin shit, because that is just stupid. Just move on to something more important people! There’s people dieing in the middle east! There are people dieing in the streets here!! Focus on that! NOT GAY MARRIAGE! I completely think the law makers and leaders of this country need to stop thinking so much about gay sex and start focusing on what really matters… priorities people! You know, that makes me wonder about these people… they probably spend more time thinking about gay sex than I do; now what does that say?? Obviously gay marriage is a threat to them, because they harbor thoughts about gay sex! Shock! Awe! Oh just suck a cock and get it out of your system. Then we can move on to shit that is more important, okay?!?!

"pointless"

something in your eye is nothing to laugh about

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Seriously.

This weekend, starting sometime around lunch on Saturday, I had something very sharp in my left eye. I am worried that it may still be there too. How in the hell can something stay in your eye that long!? Even when you are flushing it out with solution like every few minutes? Here’s hoping it’s gone.

This weekend, we also went to an Italian Greyhound meet up. While it was fun to see all of the IGs, and let Sydney play (i.e., get humped by) with other IGs, it wasn’t everything I was hoping for. I honestly was hoping that it was going to be a gathering where people actually talked and tried to get to know one another. Well, the only people that we “met” were people that we went up to and engaged in conversation. And of those, we didn’t even get many of their names! It was so strange, honestly, because why else would you have a “meet up”? I know it is for the dogs to play, but that can’t be it? Or can it? Maybe it was the heat. Either way, we will give it a go next month and see if people are friendlier.

Other than that, it was a pretty uneventful weekend. I did watch Superman II, and came to the realization that many of the movies that are made today are WAY better than movies made 20+ years ago. It is almost like they take making movies more seriously now… perhaps it is because their is more money riding on it? Either way, I am grateful movie making has gotten better (although, not in every case… I did see that Basic Instinct 2 is out on DVD).

Weekends should include Monday (or Friday)… I am still set on weekend mode this morning. Eh, you get to enjoy the random train of though as a result. Hope your Monday is more eventful!

sex (oh yeah)

come on baby loosen up my buttons…

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And spank me. Piss on me. Do what you will with me.

No, that wasn’t an invitation, it was just to start the conversation interestingly. See, this morning, I was thinking about what I have been doing at work lately. See, we read about people’s sexual histories and proclivities all day long. As great as that sounds, I honestly get tired of hearing about unhealthy sex practices. But that is not what I want to talk about. It has been a while since I talked about sex, and I thought that this was pretty interesting; at least one of my coworkers referred to alternative sexual practices as weird and frankly deviant. And, while I agree, I don’t see the allure of having someone piss on your face, I don’t agree that it is weird or deviant.

Now wait a second, okay, just hear me out. It took an awfully long time for me to A) become comfortable with my sexuality and sexual nature, and B) become comfortable enough with myself and my partner to ask for and do what I wanted sexually with him. To me, if you have the courage (and frankly the sense) to ask for what you want in bed (albeit that bed may be covered with rubber sheets), and do what you turns you on sexually, you are actually the furthest from deviant in my mind, you are what I would like to call fulfilled.

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blog on blog

we may be experiencing technical difficulties

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MT is acting weird. If your comment doesn’t go through, or if you see ANYTHING weird, LET ME KNOW in the comments on this post. I know, I know, that may be counterproductive, but it’s the best I got, people. Work with me here!

UPDATE: It is monitoring comments because of the word “insurance”. WOO HOO! Go spam bots! Go spam bots!

all about me

back from the dentist…

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$275. For about 15 minutes worth of work. Where did I put that application for dentistry school, again? Jeez. Luckily I have insurance. But oh wait… it doesn’t pay for the whole thing, even though I pay like $20 a month to them. Thanks again insurance folks! And they say that we don’t need insurance reform in this country. HA!

Hope everyone else’s Thursday is motherfucking kick ass!!

all about me

come save me from the awful sound of nothing

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Apathy. Most people think nothing of it. Some people fixate on it. Some people are controlled by it. I am one of the latter. I would have to say that while it has definitely waxed and waned at times, my apathy (which I now know is directly related to my depression) has gotten stronger over the last few months. Regardless of the activity that I am doing, or even an activity that I may want to or have to do, I find myself more and more controlled by apathy. Take this blog for example. I used to post every single day, and usually found that I had interesting things to write about. Then, apathy stepped in.

I am sure that many of you have noticed that I haven’t been writing that much lately, and well, all I can offer is a letter of blame to my apathy. I really hope that it subsides and possibly even goes away soon, but I can’t tell, and I can’t really control it. I have even tried; with no success. I find that this apathy is preventing me from moving forward, and it often times feels like my feet are stuck in cement, and I am so distracted by apathy, that I am not doing anything to escape. Thanks for listening and keeping up with me. Thanks for (hopefully) understanding why I haven’t been reading blogs and blogging a lot lately; just know that it has taken over more than just this aspect of my life, and is driving me nuts.

I want to get rid of this fucking apathy, but perhaps I am even apathetic to it as well. That makes starting to change a little bit difficult. Le sigh. At least I can focus on the fact that I have great people in my life that do make me feel good, and for that I am eternally grateful. I will hopefully be my fun self again soon.

(this doesn’t mean that I am going to stop blogging or anything like that, it is more of a reason that I have been so sporadic with it lately. Thanks again for listening!)