She’s sick.
Boo. At least I get to lay in my comfortable bed. We got a featherbed earlier this week, and I have been sleeping 100 times better than before. A lot of my back pain has even subsided. Best $100 I ever spent!
Back to the bed kids. And Carol Ann, be sure and keep the children quiet today!
I mentioned it last week, but the Scissor Sisters new album, Ta-Dah really did come out yesterday. I can’t stop spinning it either, it is great! I managed to snag a copy of the collector’s edition at Best Buy last night (my man hooked me up!), and it contains like 6 extra songs. Rock. I love me some Scissor Sisters! Hey, did you know that their name comes from a lesbian sexual position? Interesting… Man, I love wikipedia, you can learn so much from them. I know one thing is for sure though, I love this band, and I CANNOT WAIT to see them live on October 18th. I’m also pretty sure that I have a crush on Babydaddy. Woof!
As for the conversation from yesterday… I personally don’t care what people do sexually, I was just giving it too much thought, really.
Also, I think that I may have a sinus infection. Yuck. I don’t feel good. Boo!
Um, I have to say that I was apprehensive when the show Heroes came on last night, as it was (is) THE show I was looking most forward to this season. Going in, it was a bit all over the place, but all in all, the story is coming together, and it is definitely promising. I like how they have given you a taste of many different characters, while showing the potential for them to be tied together. I love the premise, and can’t wait to see the next episode. My only fear, gasp, is that because now I am hooked on a great show that I really genuinely like, they will probably cancel it. It has to cost a lot to produce, and you know they don’t give a shit about the viewer… it’s about money. I have written about this before. So, I am preemptively BEGGING NBC, don’t cancel this show! Not yet! And don’t pull an Invasion on us… I still can’t believe they canceled that shit. Anyway… you know where I will be next Monday night… watching Heroes!! It’s great!
Also, I wanted to say thanks for all the comments yesterday… it is nice to know that I am not the only one that thinks attraction and not action is healthy. Coolness! A couple of people discussed potential issues with it, or mentioned it wasn’t for them, and that’s fine. It’s good we all have different opinions after all! Now, I can go back to swooning over Jake Gyllenhaal and not feel bad about it!
Finally, I was thinking this morning about a conversation that I had this weekend over beers. I was talking to a couple of friends, and I don’t know how I came up, but regardless, the question was asked “if you could blow yourself, would you?”. A resounding HELL YES came from both straight guys, and I followed that with “well, that is gay sex, you know.”. Because it is. It was also discussed that if they had a clone, would they have sex with their clone. Again, the answer was yes; because it was sex with themselves. I don’t see that as anything other than gay sex, because if you are having sex with someone of the same sex, even if it is yourself, that is gay sex, yo. What do you all think? Is it really gay sex, or just fanciful pleasure giving? It is definitely both, but I am trying to see if you think it is gay sex too, I guess. Discuss!
Also, on a personal note, I finally updated my ipod for the first time in 6 months last night… perhaps this is a good step towards climbing out of this depression valley. YAY!
Yes. There’s a difference. There is a big difference between acknowledging attraction to someone, and acting on it. See, I will admit it. I am definitely attracted to lots of different people. Lots of different types of people. Men. I love to look at men. I look at men all day long, and never get tired of it. Does that mean that I act on those attractions? No. Does that mean that I am any less attracted to my partner? Absolutely not! I identify that I am very visually oriented, and I like looking at things (in this case people) that I am attracted to. But, it doesn’t mean that I would ever step outside of my relationship for one second; that’s not something I would ever even think about, or want to do. See, I love James with all my heart. He is the most beautiful, sexy, awesome lover/friend/partner that I could ever imagine. I consider myself the luckiest guy alive, because I found someone that really does compliment me well, and he is hot as hell, and we totally love each other.
Does that mean that I instantly shut off my eyes and stopped being attracted to other guys? NO! That’s silly to think that. But, it does mean, that as long as I am lucky enough to be with James, that James is the only man for me. Period. I love to look at men (James is a man too, you know), but I as far as actually being with another man? Nope. Not going to happen.
The reason I bring this up, is because I find that sometimes people hear that you are attracted to someone, or comment that someone is hot or whatever, and instantly that person thinks you would be willing to cheat on your partner; but I don’t understand that. I think that is why I wanted to write this post, was to get a perspective of what you all think. When your partner mentions someone else is attractive (or you mention it for that matter), what is your reaction? How does your partner react when you say someone is attractive/hot? James just needs acknowledgement that I think he is hot, and so that is what I give him. It’s a small thing that makes him feel good about the fact that I can be attracted to other men. I mean, all those of you out there that watch porn, isn’t that for some level of attraction? Don’t you find yourselves attracted to the people (well, at least with gay porn, they tend to use hot actors, I can’t speak of the men in straight porn) in the videos? Why is it that when we acknowledge our attraction, it is interpreted as a desire to cheat? Can’t we just think someone else is hot, and keep in in our pants? I know I can… but I guess I just wanted to know why people instantly think that? hmmm… thoughts? I know of at least one person that this issue pretty much destroyed his relationship (boyfriend was uber jealous because he acknowledged other men were hot, but he never cheated, nor gave him reason to believe he would), and I wanted to get some perspective here.
I know that I shouldn’t care what other people think, but all of us do, whether we admit it or not. And I guess I just don’t like people thinking that just because I think someone is hot, that I love my partner any less, and would be willing to cheat on him. Anyway… tell me what YOU think.
I usually don’t (see never before) post you tube clips, but this one literally made me laugh till I cried a little. I need to start watching the Daily Show again. It just goes to show, that if you give them the forum, and the right opportunity, the religious fundamentalists and right wing nutjobs will do a fine and dandy job of hanging themselves without any help from you. That is a better message than any bad thing we could ever say about them, right? Although, for some, I know it won’t mean squat, because look at Bush, people still support him, even though the stuff he says is wrong and ludicrous a lot of the time. Shame. Oh well, here’s the clip! (found on towleroad.com)
(my favorite is “I know I would rather die in a terrorist attack than suffer through an uncomfortable shower with a gay.” LMAO! oh, and definitely, “trying to intromiss his rectum with a penis”)
Also, I posted two poems I wrote today after the jump. The Indigo Girls really bring that out in my for some reason. Either way, one is a little sad (about how I was feeling the beginning of the week), and the other isn’t (about how I am feeling now). So, that’s a little bit of both for all of ya! Also, for anyone in the area, apparently, the Indigo Girls are going to be at Criminal Records this afternoon at 6, and signing records after their performance. Anyone want to swing by there with me? I would go if someone wants to!
So, as we all know, America’s. Next. Top. Model . debuted last night, and right away, I can tell that there are some fierce (and bitchy) girls in this competition. Also, since this week is fashion week, they have the designs for each of the 4 remaining Project Runway designers available online, and I know you are dying to know what I think. But I am getting ahead of myself. I would like to talk about who I think is going to win Project Runway, who is my early favorite for Top Model, and just generally a few observations about Top Model the show and the girls on it this season. After you check out what I have to say, tell me what you think, okay?!?!?!
Shall we begin? Let’s do.
First of all, here are the links for the designs from Jeffrey, Laura, Michael, and Uli. First let’s start with Jeffrey. I have to say that I am probably the most surprised by Jeffrey, because his line is actually very cohesive and actually pretty. His collection is definitely very detailed, and flows well. I think he did a great job, but I don’t know if it is enough to win. Laura. Laura, Laura, Laura. I am not at all surprised by Laura. It is boring. And, it is not for spring, in my opinion. If she were designing a fall line, MAYBE, but not this time… those designs are not spring. I will say that I hope upon hope that Laura is the one that was the fake out collection, because honestly, that is the only salvation she could offer for all of that mess she sent down the runway. On to Michael. While the boy can design some clothes, and we see some excellent designs here, I don’t feel the cohesive element in his collection. After all, this isn’t a challenge anymore, this is a collection. You have to keep it cohesive, and still at the same time provide beautiful designs and clothes. While his clothes stand alone beautifully, I don’t know if gold and brown being the elements that tie things together, are going to be enough to win this for him. And that brings me finally to Uli. While I have only mildly liked Uli all season, I have to say, her collection (in my opinion), is hands down the best. I mean, just take a look at the dress pictured here. This could be Gucci, i.e., it’s flawless. Her designs are beautiful, spring, flowing, and cohesive. If she isn’t in the top two, I will be very shocked. My guess is that she is going to win it. This is a very strong collection, and if I learned anything from season two, it isn’t about one or two dresses, it is about everything, and everything she sent down that runway was beautiful, cohesive, spring-ready, and feminine, and probably most importantly, Uli. So, she’s my pick to win.
Now, on to ANTM, after the jump. (look at these as two separate entries rolled into one. Make sure to give me your opinion on who you like/dislike, want to win/think will will, etc!)
— America’s Next. Top. Model. Premieres tonight. Um, yeah, I know you are biting your nails to see the girls make fools of themselves too. I wonder who will be this season’s bitch? I mean, other than Tyra of course. Thank GOD we don’t have a new Project Runway tonight; we would go into full on gay supernova if Bravo was even thinking of showing a new episode tonight. Now, let’s have a walk off, bitches, and argue over who gets photographed by world renowned photographer Gilles Bensimon.
— There are so many new shows this season, that I am literally on overload. I feel like I am missing a lot of them, so if you have any suggestions on what to catch and what to miss, I am all ears. I need something for Monday and Thursday, as of right now, because those days are pretty slim. I did watch the Unit last night, and that show fucking rocks (plus… the return of Noel Crane? Swoon!). I can’t believe I didn’t watch any of last season. Um, Netflix, can you go ahead and send those over? Thanks. Of course I am on pins and needles for Heroes, but I don’t have much else in sight. We are also watching Prison Break and House regularly now… is it me, or is House MORE of a bitch than usual this season? What a douche.
— I am really loving the new Indigo Girls CD. Especially the song “I Believe In Love”. Awesome. I also just looked and they are coming to the Tabernacle on October 5th and 6th. I am going to convince James we NEED to go. Anyone else? I love them live. We are also going to the Scissor Sisters on October 18th, so this will be the month of concerts (considering, I usually don’t ever go to concerts). There are so many good music choices coming out lately… here’s hoping that continues.
— I kind of feel behind on the internets… it is hard for me to keep my attention on anything long enough to really invest. I hate that, but can’t seem to shake it. It has a lot to do with this depression, which thankfully feels much better today that it has all week. I know that there are many of us out there that go through this same thing (many of you too), but sometimes, it just feels better to say what is wrong, what I feel, and have an ear to hear me. I appreciate that. I tell James that a lot; I don’t necessarily need a solution, I just need you to understand that I have a problem. I am working on it.
— I think that we need a mattress pad/feather bed for our bed. While we have an awesome mattress (individually wrapped springs! generous pillow top!), I can’t seem to ever get comfortable, and realized last night that at least some of my persistent back pain is coming from how I sleep (and inability to get comfortable). Anyone have experience with any one feather bed in particular? The ones I have seen seem to be around $130, but if it means a good night’s sleep, it is worth it. I wish I could purchase one of those heavenly beds from the W. God, I would never complain about sleep again if we had one of those.
— I don’t want to jinx anything, but I don’t know if you have noticed an increase in the speed and efficiency of my site. I have noticed there is much less lag time with loading, and if you post a comment, it doesn’t take a month to post it. Also, it isn’t posting double comments as much. All of this is because I asked my host to move me to a new server, just as a last ditch effort before conceding defeat and moving everything over to someone else. Turns out, it was on their end, because the difference has been like night and day. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is a permanent solution.
— I usually don’t get too excited about movies, because I generally hate going to the theater, but I saw a preview for the Prestige last night, and I may have to catch this one in the theater. It looks to be a kick ass movie. I can’t wait for it.
Update: I just spotted this link from yewknee, and it is extremely interesting. It talks about how Ambien (the sleeping pill), may be a potential treatment for people in a persistent vegetative state. People apparently are waking up after taking the pill. I don’t know if you saw that movie Awakenings back in the 90’s, but this whole phenomena is insane and totally exciting. To think that those people really may be there, just unable to speak in many instances, and can potentially “come back”. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to everyone in a persistent vegetative state, as many of those people are brain damaged and further incapacitated, but for some, it could mean that they are still there. Fascinating.
Alright, that’s all for right now… but maybe more later. If you’re good.
Three CDs came out today that I had to pick up: Indigo Girls: Despite Our Differences, Clay Aiken: A Thousand Different Ways, and Scissor Sisters: Ta Dah!. Okay, so technically, I haven’t picked up the Scissor Sisters yet, because they didn’t have it at Target. Interestingly enough, it is also listed on Amazon as coming out on the 26th, even though it says on their website that it is out now. Weird. I’m going to try Best Buy tonight; even though I already have the CD, and it is great. Use your imagination to figure out what that means. All in all, today is a good day for music, despite the fact Fergie dropped an “album” today too.
Sorry about the depressed post yesterday. Sometimes a down day is a down day. Today is kinda one too. I think I will let the great britpop group Blur sum it up for me with the song “Wear Me Down” from Leisure:
Every time I come here
I’m not sure what to say
I know it should be easy
But it never seems that way
You, you make me feel
Like no one ever will
So why, why do you bore me
Until my heart is still
You
You wear me down
My defenses are gone now
And I can’t fight
I can’t say I love you easily
But you wouldn’t want me to
So I’d rather just say nothing
And leave it up to you
Then it’s easy to forget
You’re just as small as me
Then it’s easy to forget
You’re just as foolish as me
You
You wear me down
My defenses are gone now
And I can’t fight
Yeah. I’m going to put my headphones on and enjoy some tunes.
This is getting old. This is making me tired. I am tired of fighting this. I have been fighting for so long, that I just feel utterly exhausted, yet this is still here. This is strong, and this works hard to stay around, despite my efforts to get rid of this. This does come and go, and there are days when I don’t focus on this, but for every one of those, there is another day consumed with this in the future. This makes me want to stay in bed all day, everyday. This makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything other than this. This isn’t working for me anymore. I am tired of fighting this. This is getting old. I have gotten really good at smiling despite the presence of this. Most people probably don’t even see this when they look at me, which I guess is good, because I don’t want this to completely ruin everything. I just wish I could push this out, and close the door, but I can’t. This is too big. This is too strong. This just won’t go away. But, this is getting old. This has got to go, or I don’t know what I will do. I can’t take much more of this. I am not letting this win, so don’t worry about that. I just am sick and tired of this.
Editor’s note: Just because this affects me, doesn’t mean that this owns me. This does not have me seeking harm for myself, in fact, this makes me want to help myself. Since I am already helping myself deal with this, there is no need for you to worry about this (even though it is kind). This was my effort to put this into words, in hopes it would make me feel better. This was just a bad day, and perhaps tomorrow will be a better one.
I am sure you are looking at it going WTF? But I decided rather than delete what I wrote, to strike-through the non-relevant info, as to show that we were indeed, thankfully, wrong about the whole thing. It does not change the fact that everyone should in fact get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B (especially if you are a man who has sex with men), because it is preventable. Which means, that even if you ate somewhere that potentially did have contamination (which Joe’s DOES NOT), you would be fine, because you would have antibodies to protect you. See how important these vaccinations are? They prevent you from sounding the alarm (albeit, somewhat prematurely, and ultimately incorrectly), and most importantly, from getting sick, because no one likes being sick, folks.
So, what we have learned from this:
1) Joe’s on Juniper is a great place to eat. No problems there. Check it out.
2) The incubation period for Hepatitis A and B are very similar, as are their symptoms.
3) My friend was infected with one at the same time he ate something that didn’t agree with him, which led him to believe that it was from the food, when it clearly wasn’t. This highlights the importance of SEEKING MEDICAL ATTENTION when you feel ill. You may think you have one thing, when you have something else entirely.
4) Vaccination for Hepatitis A and B are very important, because they are preventable viruses in most people. Get your vaccines now.
5) Apparently (much to my, and definitely my friend’s, surprise) some people are active carriers of Hepatitis B, and can pass it on to their sexual partners, if those partners are not vaccinated (again highlighting the importance of vaccination).
6) I realize that it is important to let people know of potential health situations (because prevention is definitely the key), but it is also important to realize that not every diagnosis is for sure. As I said in the previous post, it was never certain, and in this case, it turned out to be incorrect. Unless the message of alarm for anything potential regarding health situations and particular establishments/foods/medicines/etc comes from a health department or the FDA or other reputable establishment of public health, it is merely a word of caution and not a definitive diagnosis and explanation of what is actually going on. Sometimes it is better to say wear shoes, there may be rusty nails in here, even if there aren’t any nails, rather than let someone walk around barefooted, and find the one rogue nail that shouldn’t even be there.
7) I again want to stress that my friend has B and not A, which means that Joe’s on Juniper is FREE AND CLEAR. Now, let’s stop all this nonsense, get ourselves vaccinated, and go enjoy some wings and beers on the patio at Joe’s. I for one am going to need them after all of this mess.
