britney n' k-fed

OMG.

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First of all, I want to say, that yes, Virginia, there is a God.

Second of all, sweetie, there is also a Santa Claus, because he has delivered Christmas to duane early this year.

Britney. Spears. Finally. Filed. For. Divorce.

OMG!! I think that I just peed a littleA LOT, but despite the wetness between my legs, I think that I am the happiest person EVER!!! I am probably happier than her mom!!!! (I don’t know, I am sure she is elated). Seriously, I knew she wouldn’t desert her fans!! Thank you Britney!!! I never lost faith in you!!!

Alright, taking a Valium, and doing some breathing exercises; I don’t want to get too excited and burst into a gay blaze. Hmmmamamammama. Okay. Now, Britney, I do want to take a second to remind you that you have now set in motion your inevitable comeback… SO MAKE IT HAPPEN. I expect something fierce girl, and I know you can deliver. Also, now I can take that shitty “k-fed” off of my Britney category!! YAY!!!

Ding dong the witch is dead, she’s kicked him out, out of bed!!! YAY!!!

(link)

"pointless"

VOTE!

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Alright, now that I have gotten that out of the way, and since I am pretty vapid today of real thoughts (that aren’t feelings of hopelessness and restlessness) and don’t have anything constructive to say… other than VOTE, I thought I would share my results of this thing that I saw over at dave’s blog, and I have to say that I laughed when it gave me the obvious results: (the only part that is REALLY wrong is that I wouldn’t have a penis to hold, and that I don’t do well with the gays… um, don’t think so)

The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You’re looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it’s sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you’ve had some things not work out before, so what.

Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

On paper, most gay guys would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you’re often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You’re the typical “nice guy:” without just a touch of cockiness, you’re doomed with boys. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Billy Goat

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid – Free Online Dating.

listen up!

voting and good news for HIV prevention (at least in S. Africa)!

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So, we all know that tomorrow is V-day. We all have to get out there and make our voices heard by voting for candidates that are going to hopefully make a difference, and represent our opinions for us up on the Hill (as I always say, if you don’t vote, you don’t have the right to complain). And, we must also challenge ourselves to see which candidates we should focus our vote on, and not get caught up in following suggestions that because one candidate may appear to be against one issue, that the issue may be such a hot button that said candidate simply avoids the issue, and may actually be the better candidate (and at a minimum, be the lesser of two evils). I say this, because organizations like Georgia Equality may make it possible for Perdue to win again, and while this isn’t really about gay issues (because Perdue has done a lot of other really awful things), it focuses on singling out gay issues as the main reason NOT to vote for anyone, when we all know who I think is a better (i.e., lesser of two evils) candidate to vote for. Keeping your voice silent by not voting for anyone allows the bad guy to always win. Not voting for someone because he doesn’t have a stance on gay marriage in a red, southern, conservative state is stupid, because he definitely seems to have his head together in a lot of other areas, and I would hate to see him not win because we ignore those areas; especially when organizations like the aforementioned should realize and understand that coming out as for gay marriage in Georgia would be political suicide; which is most likely the reason he avioded it (remember Kerry wasn’t for it either folks! But he would have made a MUCH better president!).

With that being said, I hope that everyone focuses on trying to find the best candidates out of those available, and hopefully, we can start moving in a better direction with our political actions; both locally, and nationally. No one is going to be a perfect fit, but there is definitely a better and worse candidate, and that may be more important than proving a point. Here’s hoping we can make some changes up on the Hill, while making changes in the ways things are done here at home, as well.

Also, I was reading BBC NEWS, and stumbled across this; a new easy to put on condom. All I have to say, other than holy fucking shit how awesome!, is why the hell hasn’t something like this been available before now? I mean, seriously, we are more than 20 years into the AIDS epidemic, and just now we are finding real solutions to getting people to wear condoms? We have been so focused on convincing people to use the regular ones, but I wonder why hasn’t anyone thought to change the condoms to suit the behavior? Interesting, isn’t it? While they are only available presently in S. Africa, I am extremely impressed and elated that such a product is now available. My only hope is that these, and more ideas like these, find their way around the world, and can be major players in helping prevent the transmission of HIV, and hopefully preventing it all together someday. If you are interested, there is a video of how easy it is to put on the condom, which you can see by clicking here (somewhat work safe, no genitals involved).

funnies

the christian thing to do is… (thoughts of Ted Haggard)

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Here’s what I predict to be a sample of Ted Haggard’s thoughts over the past few days, and especially now. He is probably telling himself that he is doing the right thing, and there is nothing to see here folks. He is reminding himself that he is a good Christian, and there is nothing to worry about.

Here’s a probably example of some of those thoughts:

— “Alright, Ted, don’t lie, but don’t offer up information about what I have done. See, if I don’t say that I have done it, it technically isn’t a lie. If they do start to spin something that I have said as a lie, make sure and cover that up by quickly back pedaling, and showing everyone that I actually didn’t do what they are suggesting, and I maintained my christian ways. I did the right thing, and what they are suggesting is wrong. Seriously. I told the truth, and if there are any more questions, I will answer them. Or not. I may need to change that, or some of those answers. But I didn’t technically lie. Did I?”

— “There is nothing wrong with buying drugs, technically; I was curious about buying them. So, I bought the meth, and just looked at it. It reminded me of the snow that fell on Jesus’ birthday. But I didn’t do the meth, because that’s wrong. Thinking about doing it is also a sin, so I am pretty sure I threw it away before I began to think those thoughts. Seriously. Buy the meth, look at the meth, and then throw it away, and you are safe. And I am pretty sure that’s how it happened. Pretty sure.”

— “There is absolutely nothing unChristian about a massage. They have been doing those for a long time. Since the formation of the earth over 2000 years ago. So, I can get a massage from a gay escort. There is no harm in that. He just comes over, massages me, and goes. Seriously, I am almost fully clothed. I don’t even recall wanting him to use oil. I remember that I told myself that I won’t even think about the guy. In fact, I hoped he was ugly, that way, I can focus on the deep tissue massage. The massage is just for soothing my muscles. After he does the massage, he will leave. See, problem solved. So what that he is a gay sex worker, he also dabbles in massage. He is entrepeunerial. That is a good thing. Foster growth in your business. There is nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with a man caressing my tight muscles. Nothing at all.”

— “Don’t be judgemental, because that is in the bible. Jesus doesn’t allow us to judge, and so I don’t, right? In fact, none of us Christians do. YEAH! That’s right. Also, I should remember to be sure and stand true to all of the morals that I preach about, and stay far away from immoral activities like lying, gay sex, and doing methamphetamine. Because those are bad. Okay, so I will work on this one. I technically didn’t do any of them, really, but that is besides the point. I just want to be better. God will forgive me, even though I didn’t do anything wrong, and all will be good. You’ll see. Also, remember that this doesn’t really make me a hypocrite either. See Ted, remember that things are still on track. You’ve still got your wife, and things will be fine. God is watching over you buddy. No need to fret.”

Yeah. No need to fret.

(article)

Aside: I personally don’t care what he (or anyone for that matter) does in their bed room, sexually or whatever; so long as it is among consenting adults. I don’t think meth use is good, because it is the most addictive drug out there, and it is basically driving the HIV epidemic. So, I don’t really care if this guy did have gay sex, and I don’t really care if he used meth (I just hope no one does, but I can’t make that decision for anyone); I just think it is interesting that these high and mighty “all moral” “all right and good” ever-judgemental and bigoted against gays Christians finds himself being accused of doing the very things he supposedly preaches against. Yes, it makes him a hypocrite, but it is honestly kind of sad that he had to hide behind the ministry, and it had to end up this way, when he could have just accepted his (potential) homosexuality, and actually lived a happy life. But, remember, there is a cure, you know. Only problem, is that it is called denial.

all about me

you never know what you will get

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I talked to my grandma today. That’s nothing special though, I talk to her at least once a week. She is probably the closest to me in my family.

A while back, my parents moved into a new house. She went to see it. While she was there, my mom was talking about how she was going to have to fix up a room for Jackson (the nephew). Then she told my grandma that “she finally understood and appreciated what she did for duane and shannon” all those years ago. This made my grandma happy. It made her happy to finally hear that her taking care of me wasn’t seen as a bad thing, but was beginning to be a good thing.

Finally.

My grandmother also said she commented to my mom about not keeping children again, because she was afraid of them getting hurt. This relates specifically to an incident when I was a toddler, and while being kept by my grandmother, I bit into a power cord, and almost fried my bottom lip off. Somehow it miraculously healed, but my grandmother was always blamed for the incident, nonetheless.

When my grandmother said the comment about keeping children and accidents, my mother told her “we don’t blame you for what happened”, referring to the incident with my lip. Finally, they forgave her for something she didn’t do, and couldn’t control.

It seems that grandmotherhood is turning my mother into a more compassionate person. I hope that she will see what she could have seen in me, in Jackson. I hope that she can realize that, and share it with me before it is too late.

I am at least grateful that my grandmother was treated well for the good things she has done for me my whole life, even if it was only 2 sentences mentioned while touring a house. I also told her today that she need not worry about what people will think of her, and to do what she wants with this life, because it doesn’t matter how much you worry about what people think about you when you are a Moody, it isn’t going to stop them from thinking it. I think she’s starting to agree.

music musings

Tower Records is closing

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But it makes me wonder… this was inevitable right? I mean, $25 for a CD is hardly something most people would pay when they can get it for $15 cheaper at Target. Well, I went today to check out the closing sale (30-50% off!!!!), and was hugely disappointed. All of the imports were still over $20!!! WTF? Maybe they will get cheaper when it gets closer to the actual closing.

The experience did inspire me to write Tower a little letter, though, and I shall post that here (and on my LJ):

Dear Tower Records,

I went to your Atlanta store today to check out some of the hot deals you claimed to be offering, since all of your stores everywhere are closing due to the subsequent end of your business. But, much to my chagrin, all I managed to see (minus a few choice used CDs I was able to locate and purchase, thankfully) was the stuff that you sell at jacked up prices offered at a mere 30-40% off; which, in many cases, doesn’t decrease the price to within an acceptable proximity to prices on the same things online or even at our friendly neighborhood Target store. I was confused, because I mistakenly came into your store seeking deals on items that were most often labeled with higher prices than any other establishment. While I understand that you want to get the most you can on this closing, I challenge you to look at this situation as a learning opportunity; it is my bet that, at least in some partial capacity, the reason you have gone out of business is because said prices were way to high to attract and maintain a loyal customer base. For instance, when I want to purchase an album by an artist that is from the UK, an import CD, if you will, while I know it is available in your fine store, I, being the able-minded boy that I am, also know that I can purchase the exact same thing from a fine online retailer such as amazon.co.uk, or even the collector’s paradise known as ebay. Again, I understand your need for profit, but when I can have the same CD you are selling for $25 delivered in pristine condition to my home in just 5 short days for only $6, well, then, my decision has been made for me, and I must admit that I have then become part of the momentum that has caused your business’s demise. While I do hate to see your fine retail establishment concede defeat, I will not miss the prices which caused me to seek out other means of fulfilling my UK pop/import CD needs. I do want to wish you good luck in all future endeavours, but urge you to please use this information in an attempt to potentially save yourself future financial downfalls.

Yours Truly,
Duane

Now mark down those imports before I come back, please!!!!

venting

this just in: top three threats to americans!!!

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TERRORISM!!!! (yikes!)

TAXES!!! (holy reform, batman!!!)

and…

wait for it…

SAME SEX MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scariest Halloween news, ever, right? Those gays want to marry? WTF? Don’t they know that is a sacred institution that we regard so highly that we only respect it our hypocritical selves 50% of the time???

Well, be that as it may, that’s what Bush is spouting about today. These are his three most pertinent issues for consideration in the upcoming elections. Now, I understand why he is on the terrorism bandwagon, we did start a little war over there in Iraq, and we did manage to stir up more shit than we could have ever even imagined, and we have no idea how we are going to fix it, or why we are even there anymore, so it does sound like something we should be concerned about. Not to mention the thousands of soldiers that have died over there (even one was too many).

As for taxes, well, we all know that dreaded death tax, and how it only affects .04% of Americans, so that is definitely something we should take the time to really sit and ponder. If you want a tax cut, you need to make money, you poor lazy fuckers!! Get jobs you hobos!!! And, don’t forget to vote for the Republicans that utilize these these tactics to win, because they will continue to make sure you live just barely above poverty, and continue trying their best to eliminate the middle class, all so they can keep their pockets overflowing with money while you pay for everything else!!! (remember the war just mentioned… that’s part of what you are paying for!)

But I, for one reason or another, just have a slight problem that no matter what, you can always expect the bigoted right wing to whip out gay marriage when things look like it might not slide their way. “I know, I’ll say same sex marriage is just as big a threat as terrorism (after all, isn’t it the same thing?!?!?), and people will make sure to keep us around if for no other reason, than to keep those ‘mos from ruining the sanctity of marriage (remember, 50%, yo!)!!!”. And so, before every election, it again looks like we can expect to have our personal lives drug through the mud time and time again, when all we want is the same civil rights as everyone else. Why is it that something that ONLY affects the two people that are doing it, is used as a wedge issues to drive droves of bigots to the ballot boxes (which are probably rigged anyway)?? Jeez, what a pussy ass way of conjuring up votes, ass.

If you vote for someone because they are against same sex marriage, you might as well be herded in with the other sheep, sheared, and euthanized; you follow the herd, you suffer the same fate. I for one am not going to follow the lemmings off the edge of that cliff… I am not so stupid as to believe that gay marriage is anything more than what it is; it is definitely a wedge issue… so stop bringing it up to win votes, asshole. Basically, it just paints you as a bigot and a sore loser, to be honest, because we all know that without those three aces in your pocket, you would be on a ranch somewhere in Texas instead of the White House… Oh wait, that is true… you do spend most of the year there anyway instead of on Capitol Hill working for your $400k salary that I HELP PAY.

(article)

UPDATE: I realize that this rant was written in anger, and that is a place I don’t want to live, nor represent. While I don’t hate anyone, nor begrudge them for their beliefs, I would like to see a place where we don’t get swayed by issues that are in place to do just that; sway us. I apologize to someone that was obviously offended that he thought I was referring to him; when I was in fact blanketing too many people incorrectly, and inconsiderately. For that I apologize, and hope that I can exclude from my life in the future.

all about me

I’m working on it.

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Most of you that know me know that I am very apologetic. I say “I’m sorry” more than practically anything else in my entire vocabulary. But, I have been trying to figure out why I do that, and I can honestly say, that I am truly working on it. I am working on not feeling so insecure, and instead focusing on how to trust that what people say is what they mean.

See, I was raised was in a house where what was said, and what was meant were often conflicting or totally different things. If asked, “Are you mad?” one might reply that they are not, but then show you that they actually are very mad; sending a conflicting message… one that this kid had no other example to learn from and translate into a way to interact with other people. As a result of this environment, I picked up a continual doubt and insecurity that people aren’t saying and meaning the same thing, and additionally, that there is something that I may have done which I need to apologize for in order to rectify the situation. I am constantly doubting if there will be a disconnect between what is being said and what is truly happening, and while it seems that I am doubting you, I am truly trying to find out if you really are indeed mad, or whatever.

Additionally, in my house, it was commonplace to be made to feel as if you were always doing something wrong, which led to this heightened need to please; hence my continual bugging people to make sure that everything is okay, and incessantly apologizing if I believe for an instant that they aren’t okay (thus taking much of the blame onto myself; and providing a need for me to apologize). I am working on catching myself before doing this, because for as long as I have been aware, it has been an unconscious response to interactions with other people, and many times, a detrimental reaction on my part.

So I will offer a final apology for incessantly saying “I’m sorry”, and let you know that I truly am working on ways to control that seemingly uncontrollable ingrained response that is ever present in my head. You’ll probably hear it from time to time, and I will probably still bug you a little about how you feel, in an attempt to make everything go right as rain, but just know that I am working on it, and it is going to take me some time. I have to reverse over 20 years of ingrained thought processes, and it isn’t going to be easy.

But I am at least going to try.

music musings

continuing musical awakening

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It is like I have suddenly been jolted from sleep; I have one of my biggest and best hobbies back in full swing. In fact, it is like I am making up for lost time!!! Here’s some of the great stuff that I have uncovered lately:

— Shayne Ward – Shayne Ward: Winner of X-Factor in the UK… (hottie in the picture left) teh hotness; and a BEAUTIFUL singer. Seriously, my knees get weak when I hear some of those songs. He commands a powerful voice, and sings some seriously beautiful songs. Lots of covers too, but it is to be expected.
— Ronan Keating – Bring You Home: He’s back!!! A few covers (to be expected), but overall a good show from a good singer/producer. Pop goodness.
— Shiny Toy Guns – We Are Pilots: A terribly fun throwback to 80s synth-pop, with a more modern feel. Really good stuff. I usually don’t like something instantly, but for some reason, I really like this.
— Hellogoodbye – ZOMBIES! ALIENS! VAMPIRES! DINOSAURS!!: I mentioned them before, but I am officially in love. LOVE. Seriously, I want to see them at Masquerade on Nov 9. Anyone in?
— Anastacia – Pieces of a Dream: I FINALLY got her greatest hits (damn you US and your silly music “import” crap!), and I must say, I still don’t understand why she isn’t super famous here. Seriously.
— JoJo – The High Road: This is a cute little pop-hip-hop CD. She definitely can sing, and definitely works hard for the money. I LOVE that she sampled Africa by Toto… awesome.
— Paris Hilton – Paris: I know what you are thinking, Paris Hilton?!? But seriously, she did snag some hot producers, because they turned out some hot tracks for her. I don’t like everything, but of what I do like, I really like. I know, I know, I should be ashamed, but I am not. Deal. It’s not like I said “Fergie” or anything. Bleck!
— John Mayer – Continuum: I haven’t gotten to listen to this as much as I would like to, but I really like what I have heard. I felt like I sold it short initially, because I was all, “eh”. But a deeper listen reveals that Mayer is definitely growing. I think this could even be better than his debut.
— Jem – Finally Woken: It couldn’t be more appropriately titled; because where the hell have I been, asleep? Those of you that know that I love Imogen Heap should have told me about Jem. Shame.
— The Backstreet Boys – Never Gone: Um, I know what you are thinking (again), but why did this CD not do better? Seriously, it’s good! Trust me! (If you like BSB, that is)

I find that as I am getting back into music, I am getting very lucky in having a friend that shares my music tastes, and is constantly introducing me to more and more UK pop that so many have made so much fun of me for such a long time. Yes, I own every Westlife album, and now I can wear that badge with pride (at least around him). As a result, I ordered some pop albums I missed out on:
Hear’Say – Popstars AND Everybody
S Club 7 – 7
Girls Aloud – Chemistry
Sugababes – Taller In More Ways
H & Claire – Another You Another Me
Liberty X – Thinking It Over
Now, if you are wondering who these acts are… go wiki them, they are/were all famous UK pop acts in the past few years, and I have fallen in UK pop love. I am just glad that I have a friend that has shown me where I left the path, and how to get back on. Thanks Stu!

I have also been exposed to/am currently in the process of checking out some Da Buzz (who knew they had multiple albums and not just one fantastical song???), Atomic Kitten, Clea, new Ben Folds, Delta Goodrem, and new Damien Rice (finally).

that is so gay

maybe there’s hope after all

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In light of today’s NJ supreme court decision to recognize same-sex unions, I would like to think that this is just one more symbol of hope that one day it will really happen for us in this country. I know that it has happened and subsequently been overturned in other states, and is still up for discussion in others (including NJ, pending further legislature decision), but even baby steps give me hope. And hope is a big thing, no matter how small it is.

Also, given that I did end up disagreeing with many people about the billboard (even though I do agree they deserve their free speech, just as long as it doesn’t attempt to spread hate… but then again, that is my opinion, and I am fine with people not sharing it), it is good to see that there are some positive things happening for the gay community in this country; even in the presence of those attempting to denounce and change us. While I know that it is definitely the minority that continually try and push us down and feel inferior by demeaning us and taking away our rights, we can keep striving for equality, and sometimes see a glimpse of it. And that is hope, no matter how many times it comes around, or how small it is; just so long as it does.

I just want there to be a time in my life where I can hold my partner’s hand, walk down the street with wedding bands on, and truly be recognized as a legitimate couple. I want us to be able to see each other in the hospital without a piece of paper giving us the right to. If one of us dies, I want our property to be passed to that person without them having to pay taxes on it, because our union would recognize that it was theirs to begin with. That is my hope.

I just want us to keep moving forward. And the joy in the picture that CNN used in the article discussing the decision says it all; we just want the opportunity to be together, and to honestly be left alone. I just want a life with my partner, and for he to have a life with me… hell, we may even increase the marriage success rates!!! (we hope, right?!)