Category: venting

all about me, is it just me?, tragic, venting

consider this…

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I was going to write a product praise post today, but I have decided to instead focus on a very important word: consideration.

It is a small word, but it has huge implications. In a relationship, a strong bond of communication and the continual use of consideration are paramount.

But consider this… small lapses in judgment that occur more often than not, that continually challenge your partner’s belief that you actually consider them. What do you want to do to make it better? Do you simply apologize, and hope that he can understand that you acted without thinking (again)? What if he doesn’t want an apology, because he knows that it will only be followed by future apologies?

I just wish that I was near the top of the list. I don’t have to be number one, but I do need to be on the list. I want to be considered, and more than just an after thought. I don’t mind mistakes, and I can handle a misstep here and there, but continually asserting that consideration is being utilized, while example after example of it being missing are being presented, just isn’t going to get better with a simple I’m sorry.

You actually have to want to change. I want to be more considerate, because I know that I am far from perfect myself; but I hope that you do too.

Why do relationships have to be so hard sometimes? If there are any solutions that are out there, I am all ears.

all about me, near and dear, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

“family” woe and health concerns

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Yesterday I got a call that NO ONE wants to get: my Grandma is in the hospital. I had spoken to her earlier in the week, and knew that she was having some adverse reactions to a new blood pressure medication, but I didn’t realize it was bad enough for her to need emergency transport and a hospital stay. I just talked with her, and she is feeling really good (other than having to deal with freezing hospital temperatures, and long wait times), and apparently, all of her tests are coming back normal. Whew. That makes me feel good to know that she is doing well, and it is probably that medication, as we were talking about the other day. Now, she can get a new medication (and a new doctor, IMHO), and hopefully, get back to feeling right as rain soon.

UPDATE: I just got the news that she is about to go home. YAY! I just hope that she is feeling good ASAP.

As I desperately tried to get in touch with someone who would have information after my cousin called me with that news last night (who totally came through for me, and has always been there amazingly… thanks cuz!), I was troubled that I hadn’t heard anything, and couldn’t get any information from the hospital as to her condition. After several phone calls, I finally got to talk with my Grandma around 9:30, only to find out that she was at the hospital by herself.

As of this moment, I haven’t heard a single word from either of my parents. What the fuck? As those of you that have read this blog may know, I clearly have family woes when it comes to my parents, but this just reinforces something frighteningly clear to me: the distance between us is not only geographical, and it doesn’t only apply to me. I was so angry when I talked with my Grandma, and found out that my sister’s husband was one of the people that came in the ambulance that brought my Grandma to the hospital. I was angry, because that means that not only do my parents have to know that she is in the hospital, that they neither saw it important enough to check in on her, nor alert me to her being there in the first place… and they wonder why I am “so distant”.

Care or don’t care, that is up to you, but it is glaringly clear to me what is truly important in the minds of some of my family members, and it truly makes me sad. I also wish that whole “why don’t you ever visit” mind game would stop; you KNOW why. I wish things could be different, but apparently, they are not going to get any better, and I have to deal with that. I have to deal with it, because they aren’t going to. I just hope my Grandma knows that I care, and that I am here for her; she is one of the only people that has consistently been there for me in return, and in my “family”, that is a very, very rare thing.

all about me, is it just me?, the catch-all-egory, venting

bloody noses and REALLY itchy tattoos

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This little cold snap has led to both sides of my nose bleeding now. It’s just fantastic. My nose has always been sensitive to the air in Atlanta, but it usually only bleeds on one side. It was nice to wake up this morning with several napkins covered in my blood, making my side of the bed look like a crime scene. I guess it could be worse, right?

Other than my frequently bleeding nostrils, I have been having a major issue with my red panda tattoo lately. As you may recall, I got this tattoo a LONG time ago, and it has long since been healed. However, recently, I guess my body decided that it was allergic to blue ink, and as such, I feel like I have industrial strength poison ivy on my calf. What’s strange, is that it waited this long to have any reaction. My other tattoos have had random flair ups of itchiness, but it has never been anything like this. I read that it can take up to five years for your body to stop reacting to allergies from ink, and I really, really hope that isn’t the case for this one. If anyone has any advice, or similar stories, please share, this shit itches!!!!

all about me, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, music suggestion, venting

a note about my year end list (which is causing me a little stress)

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I want to start by saying that I have actually had a hard time trying to “list” out my top records for this year in “order”, because there are different things I like about each record, and to be completely honest and evenly fair, they really don’t compare. In fact, the further into this list I get, the more I realize that I am not ranking these records at all; if something gets 4 stars, it is getting 4 stars, and essentially, it is just as good as every other record that got 4 stars, and as such, it has made my year end list with a 4 star rating.

This is something that has become more apparent as I review these records, and listen to them again; where many of them leave me wondering why I don’t listen to them more, mainly because of how great they actually are. However, for whatever reason, some records are more “popular” with me, and as such, I have listened to them more, which, for whatever reason, had me hold out on listing them in a half-assed attempt to “rank” them. But no more.

I really don’t think that can compare the Shins and Hilary Duff; and I am not trying to. Both of those records I really enjoy, and they have both made my year end list, and both have 4 star ratings; each for reasons that are unique to those records. Man, rating and ranking things really does stress a girl out. So, from here on, just look at this less like a “rank” or “order”, and more of a list of the greatest from 2007… of course, star ratings definitely rank things, so focus more on that, rather than the order in which the record shows up on my list; and keep in mind that you can’t compare apples and oranges… so I’m not trying to. A four star is a four star, and a five star is a five star. In some cases (which will become more so with the “top” records, as I get closer to the end of this countdown), there really will be a “more enjoyable” factor that really will influence when and where a CD falls on this list; but for the most part, the star rankings are more indicative than anything else.

Whew! This has just been an unnecessary cause of stress; I know I feel better… how about you? I never thought that this would stress me out, but I suppose if anyone could, I know that I could find stress in something that is supposed to bring me joy. Oh the joy in that. Now… back to the list!

all about me, is it just me?, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, music suggestion, venting, well?

please don’t stop the music *clap clap*

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December is rapidly approaching, and I am narrowing down my picks for my year end “best of music 2007” December blog-a-thon. I don’t even know if anyone will care or not, but I am excited. I also need to get back into my old podcast, which I haven’t done in ages… I guess I’ll have to put that on my list.

Either way, I have been listening to music non-stop, because there have been some great CDs come out in the past few weeks, many of which will make my year end list. There is just so much to absorb! I think that I like music, and sharing it, because it really is one of the only things that can truly make me feel good. I also really love being surprised by something, and it being really good. There really is nothing like hearing a really amazing song; it gets me energized, and totally takes me to a good place. I love that, and that very thing has been happening a lot lately. 2007 has proven to be a good year for me, musically, and I look forward to blogging about that next month.

One thing, however that is a cause of much strife and grief for me, is my last.fm profile. I don’t know why, but I find myself kind of obsessing about it, and lately, even more so. After iTunes decided it wanted to delete my playlists, the last.fm client decided it no longer wanted to scrobble my ipod tracks. This SUCKS, because I listen to music all day at work, and I really want those tracks on my profile. I have tried reinstalling iTunes, and the last.fm client; both with no luck. If there is any advice or help that anyone can give me, I am all ears; I like last.fm, and I like the whole idea of it, and want to actually use it!!! Help!

Other than enjoying the hell out of some great pop records (Shayne Ward, Kylie Minogue, Girls Aloud, Sugababes, etc.) in the recent weeks, I have been slowly counting down to the end of this semester. I am so ready to have these two classes under my belt, and I hope that once I am finished with them, I will regain some of my momentum. They have just both been demanding, and frustrating. I can’t wait until the next two weeks are over! Let’s hope that next semester (and all subsequent following ones) is much better!

I also made some color/border changes to the blog template… thoughts?

"pointless", mixed media, music musings, the catch-all-egory, venting, wtf?!

damn you itunes!!!

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Yesterday, iTunes decided that it would delete ALL of my playlists.

ALL of them.

So, last night, I took a good 4 hours to back up over 16gb of music, and to remake every one of my playlists. It took forever. Sometimes, computer programs really have a mind of their own; I just hope that it doesn’t decide that it doesn’t want my playlists again, or I might find another program to use for managing my music.

Sort it out, iTunes!

all about me, happenings, the catch-all-egory, venting, wtf?!

my thanksgiving day

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UPDATE! A note about 5SF: For today, I am taking the day off. To be honest, I forgot it was Friday!! We’ll be back next Friday with 5 new songs! Just enjoy your weekend folks, and sorry that I forgot about today’s 5SF.

I spent almost the entire day studying anatomy, before taking my test last night.

The power went out twice before I took the test, and I was hoping that things would be fine while I was actually taking the test (which is online, and timed for one hour). I always save my answers as I go, so if it cuts you off, it isn’t that big of a deal, and you can start where you left off. However, with 2 minutes left to go, the power went out again. I “finished” with the test, but I hadn’t submitted it yet. Fuck. I managed to get my PC back up, and log in, only to see my time had expired; but I had saved all of my answers. I submitted the test, and I emailed the professor, and I hope that everything is okay. Technically, I finished in the allotted time, so I hope that there isn’t an issue. It says I got a 92.5, which is also a plus.

I will definitely be MORE thankful when this damn semester is over. Seriously, it has been HARDER than I was expecting. Here’s hoping that next semester is better; and that we don’t have anymore close calls like yesterday.

I hope everyone had a great day! Now, James and I are going to Best Buy to see what’s left!

all about me, is it just me?, the catch-all-egory, venting, wtf?!

eye lashes, mobile phones, and mood swings

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Eye lashes. They are supposed to keep stuff OUT of your eye. So, why is it, that I am so often pulling out my eye lashes to keep THEM from going in my eye?? Seriously, I have been complimented numerous times on my lovely long eye lashes, and I am here to say, TAKE THEM! I don’t want them anymore. I have had to deal with eye lashes in my eyes for my whole life, and I am tired of it.

Mobile Phones. HANG UP AND DRIVE has become more than just a motto of mine lately; 9 out of every 10 times I am cut off, almost ran off of the road, almost rear-ended, or that I witness blatant fuckery of someone in a car, they are on a mobile phone. I think that it should be outlawed that you can talk and drive; because it is clear that these people actually CANNOT talk and drive. If you need to talk on your phone, pull over. Have a quick little, “let me call you back when I get home” conversation, and then focus on driving. I don’t want to have to deal with your stupid-bad-driving ass anymore, okay? I think they should make it legal to pull these people over ourselves and beat them up if they are caught driving under the influence of mobile phones. That would certainly “curb” the behavior, now wouldn’t it.

Mood swings. I have been having mood swings so weirdly, lately. Seriously, I know I am depressed, but Jesus, this up and down is nonsense. Take today, I am feeling pretty good today, despite having a shitty past 2 weeks. Some of those days were “okay”, but there were some pretty low ones in there too. Nothing was really “great”, but today is feeling pretty good. Maybe it’s because of the pending time off? Who knows, I just hope that this swing stays on the up and up; for a change.

civil rights, get involved, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

some wins, a major worry, and a lack of perspective (yet again)

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I want to high-five Dennis Kucinich; it does take balls to put forward something like the impeachment of Cheney (especially when we have been calling for it for so long). While it may not actually happen (boo!), I hope that it does; and I won’t forget that Dennis is the guy that got the issue actually going, which is a welcome sign that there are some balls somewhere in the house of Dem.

ENDA passed; which is a great step forward in the protection against being fired simply for being gay or lesbian. I hope that this signals more good things in store for the equalization of rights for all of us. No one should be able to be fired because their boss is a bigot, and now, it seems like they are a little safer. Bravo.

I blogged about it before, but please, don’t forget that there is a gay youth in serious danger of being hanged for being gay in Iran. This cannot happen. I am glad to see that the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission is at least paying some attention now. This is a chilling reminder that gays and lesbians are NOT free in this world, and if one of us is at risk of being murdered because of who we are, we are all at risk. It cannot be allowed to happen, and Iran must not be allowed to conduct serious acts of murder and violence against any human. I certainly feel for this boy and his family. By keeping this topic in the news, we are keeping Iran under the microscope, and hopefully, it will lead to a stay of execution indefinitely.

Finally, I was amused when I read that this is what Bush had to say about the veto override the Senate exercised in the funding of projects to rebuild the areas affected by hurricane Katrina:

“American taxpayers should not be asked to support a pork-barrel system of federal authorization and funding where a project’s merit is an afterthought,” he said.

Wait, WHAT? All of a sudden, Mr. Bush is concerned what WE taxpayers are concerned with when it comes to government spending? Uh, Mr. Bush, you can’t have a blank check for your war on the middle east, and then get all pissy when we want money to rebuild parts of our own nation; it just shows how out of touch with the real situation he really is. Someone, please get this man a large does of perspective; stat. I love how it was “an afterthought”… uh, someone really needs to get him up to speed as to what is going on in the world right now; the man clearly has no idea.

Other than that… I am sure that there is a lot more SHIT going on in the world that is scary and evil, but it almost seems too overwhelming to deal with it all, doesn’t it? I mean, just look at the CRAPPER that the economy is in… we are seriously inching towards being TOTALLY fucked instead of just being fucked. When will the great America turn things around for herself? I just hope that we can.

civil rights, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

remember, remember…

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The fifth of November,
the gunpowder, treason, and plot,
I know of no reason
why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot…

The plot of Guy Fawkes is a good reminder that dissent may truly be the most ambitious, yet patriotic form of patriotism (which is paraphrasing the often thought to be Thomas Jefferson, but it actually wasn’t (?), quote). I believe, now more than ever, that it is imperative, given the circumstances of this country, this world, this existence, that we stand up and question what is being done. Things are out of control, and we can’t look the other way any longer.

We can’t let there be a time when recalling the events of this day include a time when no one stood up when they came for the others, and then, inevitably they finally came for us, and no one was left to stand up for us. All accounts of the events in the news indicate that in more ways than one, things are going from bad to worse, and I can’t help but think, “does it have to happen?”. Do we have to just follow? Why aren’t our representatives doing something about this? How bad does it have to get before we make it stop?

Remembering the bravery that it takes to stand up to the government isn’t enough, but it seems that it is all that there is right now. I hope that changes soon. I hope that our words and our actions can bring some accountability to where there is none. I hope that our pressure on our government can shed light on the theft that is occurring right before our eyes. I hope that we won’t be the ones that suffer for the blood money that those at the top are raking in.

This really makes me think; where is V when you need him? I think that I will be watching V for Vendetta tonight… and hoping for some bravery to stand against our ever-increasingly-oppressive government. Want more? Check out this remembering article.