Category: tragic

all about me, get over it!, hmm interesting, is it just me?, tragic, venting, wtf?!

etiquette… not requirement… okay?

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Earlier today, I was coming out of the building next to the one that I work, in order to go back over to my office, when I encountered a situation that is normally dictated by etiquette. However, in this case, etiquette was stretched so far, that it broke, which, for whatever reason, tends to be quite common where I work. As such, I was treated like an asshole, when in reality, I did nothing wrong. Someone thought etiquette meant requirement, and voiced her opinion as a result; even though she is sadly mistaken.

Now, let me preface what I am getting ready to say with this: I always hold the door for people when they are close enough to reasonably come in; always. I hold elevators too. I’m a nice guy like that; even though I rarely have the favor of that etiquette being returned to me. It really doesn’t bother me to do it, and as such, I normally do.

Now, back to today’s little incident… When I exited the building, I didn’t hold the door because there was no one around. As such, I just walked out, and even smiled at the girl that I noticed once I was completely outside and about 5 steps away from the door. Instead of smiling back, she said loudly, “Well that’s fine… DON’T hold the door for me.”. Um, excuse me? What the fuck did she just say?!?!

First of all, I thought that basic etiquette implied that I am not required to hold the door, but I that I should, if for no other reason than to be courteous. Second of all, in this particular instance, the woman in question was no where near entering the door when I came out, so for me to have held the door for her, I would have first, had to have seen her (which I couldn’t, because she was far enough away, and to the left of the door, that I couldn’t see her), and second, even if I would have seen her, I would have had to wait for her to walk up to the door, (as I noted, it was about 5 steps outside that I noticed her and nodded appropriately) inconveniencing myself in the name of what I would call severely stretched courtesy… but not requirement.

Again, while I am all for holding the door for people when it is convenient, I think that she was ridiculous in expecting me to hold it for her; and even worse, was a fucking bitch for saying what she did. The weird thing is, that most women that work in my building are like that; which I can say, because there are very few men who will get bitchy if you don’t wait forever to hold the door for them.

I have seen women go so far as to try and quickly jump through a closing door to prevent having to actually touch the physical door, or heaven forbid, hold it open for themselves… all while it shuts on me, who is right behind them. I have also, on MANY occasions, seen women stand in front of a closed door, and give me the look of, “well, aren’t you going to open that for me?”. I also can’t stand when the women that work in my building (who do this WAY more than men, which is why I am picking on the women folks) will stand in front of one of the two doors that you can open, because there is someone coming out of the other, and they are waiting so they won’t have to open the door for themselves. As if these weren’t bad enough, there is even one woman in particular who I happen to see more often than I should, who acts like the doors exceed her physical strength, and as such, I am actually forced to take over the muscling of the door, and open it for her. I just don’t get why these women can’t open a door for themselves, or even hold the door for me; who, has on most occasions, done that very thing for them. Even more, I wonder why I am an asshole when I don’t go out of my way to make every woman-who-works-in-my-building’s life that much more comfortable (even though it inconveniences me); especially when the same common courtesy is RARELY returned to me.

What bugs me about this, is that first of all, this isn’t 1950 anymore, ladies; so you should be able to open a door for yourself, and realize that it is being courteous, and not a requirement, that a man might open it for you. Again, let it be known that I honestly don’t mind holding the door for you, and I will even go out of my way to get the door for anyone most of the time; but when you bitch because I didn’t inconvenience myself to make your entrance into the building an effortless one, please listen up, as I will say this as plainly as I can for you to understand: why not just be a fucking adult and open the fucking door for yourself for a change?. And worse, if you do what that bitch did earlier to day, you should be seriously put in your fucking place, because you are just being an outright bitch, and that goes way beyond any courtesy that you deserved from me in the first place.

If you think that I am being too harsh, realize that I have been entering buildings and opening doors for years for myself, and I am just fine… and you will be too. When I think about these incidents, which usually just result in me rolling my eyes, it makes me want to do what these silly women do. Perhaps I should try standing in front of a closed door, and looking at the person who is walking up behind me in hopes that they will open it for me; or maybe I should jump rapidly through a closing door, only to have it hit me as I barely make it in, all the while it slams in the face of the person behind me; or maybe do my favorite, and act as if the weight of the doors is so massive, that my tiny, frail, child-like arms cannot handle the force required to muscle them open… Maybe, just maybe, that would make me feel a little better about how stupid people act under the guise of the unwritten “rules” of “etiquette” (which, for whatever reason, they believe that I, but not they, are required to follow).

I am pretty sure, though, that it wouldn’t work for me… unlike the women that get by with this shit day in and day out, because I am sure that I would get nasty looks and hateful comments because I am a man, and as such, I am “required” to hold/open/wait for every woman that may want to enter the building. What-the-fuck-ever.

The weird thing, is that my friend Deb, who is just as tall as I am, gets the same thing. Maybe it’s a height thing and not a sex thing? She is obviously a woman, and women do it to her too. Who knows… all I know is that it is time for the sisters to start REALLY doing it for themselves… and realize that I don’t HAVE to get the door for you, I am doing it to be nice. If I don’t do it because I don’t see you, or don’t wait for you because you are far away, be an adult and open the damn door yourself; and save the bitchy comments, okay?

/rant

civil rights, get involved, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, near and dear, politics, show the love, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

music sharing and ridiculousness

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So, I spoke briefly on Friday about the girl that was sued by the RIAA who lost, and now owes upwards of $200,000 for downloading and sharing a few songs. Now, while I am do agree that there should be some regulation, and that nothing should just be totally free, I think that this whole war against those that share music has gotten out of hand (as evidenced by this case). In fact, what is forgotten, and I think on purpose for whatever reason, is that most people that download music actually end up buying most of that which they download.

Take me for example. I buy CDs all of the time. Most of those CDs are CDs that I downloaded first, in order to see what they were like. Most of the stuff that I download is stuff that I haven’t heard of, and want to check out. If I get a chance to check out something new, and end up enjoying it, I definitely want to support the artist, and 9 times out of 10, I do.

So is what I am doing helping or hurting the music industry? I would say that it is helping because I am buying the products that are being produced; and most often I am buying the minor artists, and supporting music that would otherwise never be heard. Additionally, many of the smaller artists that I find this way, would never have been discovered without my trying to find them. I also go to concerts of these artists regularly, and support them even more in that manner.

If I relied on the radio for my every music need, I would miss many of the amazing artists that I love today, and I think that not only is that a terrible shame, I think that it clearly shows that the RIAA is not about saving music… they are about their profits.

However, I still contribute to their profits. Willingly. Yet, they still come after those like me, those that love music, and just want to be able to share it with others, in hopes that they will enjoy and support those artists that they might have never heard of; that is, if I didn’t play them that “illegal” mp3.

I think this whole issue is bullshit, and it just makes me angry that big corporations get all angry when they can’t control every single aspect of something. This is especially infuriating with regards to trying to control music that I legitimately pay for… If I bought it, so back off. You got your money, now let me enjoy my CD, or even make a copy for a friend if I choose to do so; I payed for it! In the end, it is clear to me, that the RIAA is always the one that wins, because like I said, most of those suggestions lead to purchases; and most of the profits are never even seen by the artists themselves.

I gave $5 to the save Jammie fund, because I know that if I were in her shoes, I would really be freaking out. I feel sorry for her that the RIAA has chosen so ridiculously to make an example out of her. Asking her to pay a $1 for each song she shared is one thing, but what they are doing is robbery. So, here’s $5 from me, Jammie, I hope that you can raise enough to pay off the bloodsuckers that are on your back.

What do you guys think about sharing music/downloading music? Do you think the whole thing is just another greedy scandal by corporations to make as much money as possible? Or do you really think that artists suffer? What about sharing music is so bad, especially if you are like me, and you almost always go out and buy the CD? Additionally, sharing music was meant to discover new artists, which for me, it totally does… what would happen to the obscure artists if this ability was taken away? How would it effect you?

britney n' k-fed, tragic

britney lost the kids to KEVIN?

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I’m actually surprised by this, because anyone can clearly see that Kevin is no more fit to parent than Britney. In fact, I would look at the judge square in the eye, and say, “do you realize, that he walked out on his pregnant girlfriend to be with Britney? Please explain how that makes him MORE fit to parent.” Point blank, I think this is a lot of the problem with things today; kids raising kids. I think the kids should go to Britney’s mom, but that’s just my two cents. I remember my early twenties, and I can tell you right now, I would have been an awful parent. I was practically a child still, learning the ways of the world… and that isn’t even considering the mad media that is watching their every move. Parenting is hard enough with out the added pressure of growing up yourself in the process, and that ever present eye of the media. All four people in this situation are in a bad place right now, and I hope things work out best for all of them.

Shit, maybe this will be just the “wake up call” that she will actually be able to hear this time, and she can use this time to get things back on track for herself. Maybe she will grow from this experience, and will grow stronger and better as a result. It really is sad that child stars get chewed up and spit out by the “industry”, and the results are often devastating. Apparently, you have to hit the bottom before being able to make things right, when you are famous. Hopefully, this is the lowest it will go for Britney, and she can make some good in the near future. I’m rooting for you, babe.

I feel bad for Britney, and hope that she gets her kids back in the end… after she makes things right. Hopefully, she will be able to do so soon. I honestly feel the worst for the kids who are obviously being used as pawns in this whole thing, when they should just be taken care of; but by who is not for me to say… I just don’t think Kevin is the best choice; that’s all.

Oh well, what are you going to do, right?

is it just me?, music musings, near and dear, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?

do you know who really IS suicidal, Mr Kingston?

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I am sure that you may have heard that insufferable song, Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston by now. It has rocketed to the top of the Billboard charts, and I keep hearing it creep up on the radio. What I don’t like about this song (other than the annoying way it gets stuck in your head), is that it, at best, makes light on something as serious as suicide.

I just wish that people that write songs like this, and create such things that have massive “appeal”, would consider the issue that they choose to make light of. In this case, teenage suicide is considered to be the number 2 or 3 (depending on which study you look at) killer of teenagers in the US. To me, that says that it is a serious issue that one shouldn’t make light of in a frivolous song about “beautiful girls”, and how they leave one suicidal because they don’t return affection.

I would hope that people like Sean Kingston, being a teenager himself, would realize that gay and lesbian youth are extremely disproportionately affected by suicide. Additionally, in my opinion, by making light of something as serious as depression and suicide, by relating it to being simply turned down or broken up with, is ignorant and shameful. People suffer from real issues that lead them to take their own lives, and with regards to gay youth, it comes down to a lot more than a rejection from a “beautiful girl”. I personally don’t appreciate what this song portrays, regardless of the lack of intention, because frankly, people should know better.

Yet another example of how our society lacks the ability, or even the compassion, to identify with the severity of mental health, and the repercussions of repression and hate. Yes, it is just a stupid song, but I am sure that I am not the only one that is somewhat taken aback by the manner in which Kingston throws around something as serious as suicide, like it were no big deal. Perhaps he should think about the many youth out there that not only consider it, but succumb to this each year; maybe the “beautiful girls” wouldn’t be so much of a let down for him.

all about me, is it just me?, tragic, well?

weekend recap

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This weekend, my awesome cousin came for a visit, and we had a blast. Photo strolls with Deb, brunch with Deb, Anne, Syd, and the girls, and hanging out with friends and watching movies. Yesterday, I took off work, and we braved the aquarium, because our initial plan of taking pictures at the botanical gardens was a no-go; the gardens are closed on Mondays. Overall, it was a great visit, and it just makes me wish that I lived closer to my real family. There aren’t many of them, and I would certainly love to be able to see them more often. Either way, the weekend was a warmly welcomed great time. Also, she completely hooked me up with a new lens for my camera; in exchange for a ticket to come visit in the future. Done and done!! Now, I definitely have to practice shooting with my new Canon 70-300mm IS lens! It is the bomb! Thanks cuz!

Something else interesting from this weekend: this weekend was my mother’s birthday, Saturday to be exact. While the fact that it was her birthday isn’t that interesting, I do find it kind of telling that my father and sister planned a huge surprise party for her, and guess who wasn’t even invited? Yup. That’s right. Now, I am sure that they just told themselves that I probably wouldn’t be able to make it anyway, but, isn’t it the minimum amount of courtesy to simply extend the invitation? I mean, it would have at least shown that there was some level of consideration for me; but alas, I should have expected what I got, because it is more of the same. Perhaps this is a symbol that they too are moving on? Soon, I suspect that the traditional calls on birthdays and other holidays will fade into silence; much like any other gestures of having anything to do with my life at all. Interestingly enough, my sister called (on Saturday) to remind me to call my mother, to which I said that I was going to do so later; after the party had begun. That way, I could say my piece about happy birthday this and that, and do what I am sure she really wanted; let her get back to her life, and leave her alone. So, that’s exactly what I did.

Maybe next year, I won’t even bother to call at all. Funny, I doubt they would even notice. Oh well… such is life, eh?

is it just me?, near and dear, politics, public health, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

why don’t we help the sick?

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I read this article this morning, and frankly, it made me mad. I mean, we spend so much money on so many things that we shouldn’t, and yet, we cut funding that provides for those suffering from AIDS (which I definitely think anyone can agree that is something that is important). The weird thing about these cuts, is that AIDS cases, and the needs of those afflicted with HIV/AIDS, are increasing every year. It is estimated that 40k new cases of HIV a year are diagnosed in the US alone, and of those cases, many of them are being found among the minorities and poor of this country. Adding insult to injury, the drugs, treatment, care, and supplies that they need to live on are exuberantly priced, and as such, they are in a lose-lose situation.

Since we know this, where is the (moral?) justification for cutting the funding provided for these things, that work to provide people with services? This is a clear example of how we lack a basic sense of true social security in our nation. Frankly, it scares me on another level, because it shows how, as a society, we are lacking the area of compassion, even when we have more than enough means to make it reality. What’s probably worse, is that this happens to those that are in an area where it is truly deserved; because of the nature of the system that our society operates within.

When I read things like this, I think, what’s next? Throwing old people out of their homes, and using their social security checks to beef up military contracts? When are we going to focus more on the “homeland” that we are supposedly doing so much to protect? I ask, because we constantly hear about protecting “this great nation”, and securing freedom and safety for the citizens of this country, all while we constantly shift our efforts away from the actual people that need our help in this country. It seems that we are only securing the “homeland” for a select few; those that are lucky enough not to get sick, and that have found themselves in a position of wealth without bad luck, or worse, failure.

The scary thing, is that the rich will be just fine, and the poor will just die out, if this continues. The middle class will become the new poor, and eventually, we will die out too. This is a bleak and realistic future for our country if we continue down this ridiculous track; so I ask, why don’t we help the sick? Is it inconceivable to think that, not only do we have the money to take care of every medical funding problem we currently face, we give it to contracts and a handful of corporations, instead of our own people? I don’t think that these are shocking revelations, so why isn’t it something that is being taken care of? Oh yeah… why would you give money to a poor person, when you are too greedy to do so, and instead, want it, and more, for yourself?

Earlier today I was misclassified as following current democratic trains of thought with regards to the war, and as I stated, I don’t always agree with what anyone in politics does. I find a lot of corruption, and not a lot of true philanthropic action. As of right now, I feel alone. The politicians are not people that truly represent the little guys (and increasingly, not even us “middle” guys), and funding cuts like this make it more and more clear that there is no interest in actually making this nation great for anyone other than the elite. There is no definitive compassion that comes without a bribe, an accompanying lobbyist, or greedy grin. I think that I am going to be sick the more I think about this; I just hope that I can afford to take care of myself, because my society is not willing help me out.

I feel helpless right now, and that just sucks. I am having the same feelings I had when I read Joseph’s post the other day, because it comes from the same line of thinking, only his has a specific focus on what we will do when we get older. If you don’t have the money, and your family will not, or cannot, take care of you, you are seriously fucked; the government is probably not coming to your aid. That is what these AIDS patients are facing, and I just don’t understand how that is okay. That is scary, but real, and I frankly am worried as hell.

Speaking of helpless, I read this article, and it made me so utterly sad for that kid (as well as other people that are disregarded in the name of “saving” them). Sometimes, I question what people really are doing when they say that they are working for the good of mankind; because sometimes (and more often than not it seems), it seems that they got it so wrong, that by their method of “helping”, they are causing way more harm than good. Frustrating.

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rain or shine? that just sucks!

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Tonight, we were supposed to go and see the Indigo Girls at the Botanical Gardens, but once the rain started pouring outside, I figured it would be best to try and find someone else to take these “rain or shine” tickets off of my hands. It sucks, because who wants to go to a concert, knowing that it is raining before they even show up?! Not us!

Well, we were lucky enough to have someone get back to me through craigslist, and she is buying the tickets from me! (Crossing my fingers that she is legit and actually shows up).

I am losing about $30 in the whole ordeal, but at least we will be able to enjoy the night dry and happy; rather than sopping wet at the show. I am sure it would have been fun for me a few years ago, but not now… maybe I am just getting old? Either way, I will be sure to look next time I buy concert tickets for an outside venue, and make sure that they aren’t rain or shine tickets.

all about me, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, show the love, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

post ultrasound sydney update

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So, we had the ultrasound done yesterday… $400 to find out, wait for it… Nothing. That’s right, there isn’t anything abnormal with his abdomen, stomach, nadda. However, it may have been worth it to spend the $400, because when I got into the vet’s office yesterday morning, (I wanted to stick around and talk to them so that I could tell them a few things that I wanted checked out) Sydney was transformed into his old self. Wagging his tail, jumping up into my lap, and full of energy. Maybe he was faking it? Maybe he was a little sick, and just didn’t feel like eating? Either way, after we picked him up yesterday afternoon, he proceeded to eat treats (without having them crushed first), walk around, wag his tail, jump up on the couch, and everything he normally does.

He is also eating out of his bowl on his own, without being coxed into it. I am not sure if it is a case of “don’t take me back there, see, see!, I am good! nothing to worry about!!!”, or if he really is getting back to his old self, and it was more of an episode, rather than something actually wrong. I hope that it was definitely just a little bout of upset tummy, or something minor, and I am glad that he is getting back to normal. It’s funny, because it is almost like we took him in, and got our old Sydney back. I just hope that his eating improves, and he gets back to normal. He even wanted to play with his toys last night! What a little stinker, eh? I honestly don’t care what was going on, so long as he is better, and a happy, healthy little dog. Thanks to everyone that had kind words and well wishes; it really means a lot to know that people were thinking about us!!!

Totally unrelated to Sydney’s health drama this week, we had/have a bit of a situation at the house… Basically, a few days ago, we saw an injured cat slink its way under the deck; before we could do anything to help it/stop it. A day or so later, we were greeted with that all too familiar smell of rotting carcass when we walked our of the front door, and I was sure that the damn cat died under the porch, and we were going to have to endure that smell for at least a few more days (my cat used to drag us “presents” under the porch when I lived with my parents… yuck). The situation comes into play when yesterday, we walked outside to do something, and James exclaims, “Oh my god! There’s a dead cat in the koi pond!”. Sure enough, the carcass of that cat was tangled in the net of the pond, COVERED in maggots and flies. I almost threw up. I told James that it had to be gotten out of there ASAP, or it would kill all of the fish, and he sprung into action. He managed to clean out most of the “debris”, but I noticed this morning that there are still a ton of maggots in the pond, and we seriously need to figure out how to get them out of there so they don’t kill the fish. I am glad that the dead cat smell is gone, but jeez… that is not the alternative plan of action I was expecting; nor the one that I wanted. Yuck!

The whole cat scenario, which, by the way, is our third serious cat incident since we have lived at our house, totally echoes (although, not on the same threat level) what Lori and Brian when through this morning; people that neglect animals, and don’t get them spayed and neutered are just AWFUL fucking people. Seriously, if you don’t intend to get an animal the care that it needs, provide it with food and shelter, and make sure that it isn’t unnecessarily breeding animals that you have no intention of taking care of, you are at the very minimum, a despicable person. Perhaps we should call animal services more than we do, but honestly, they are so picky about what they will do, it really makes it more of our problem than anything. I just wish people weren’t so neglectful, and by association, cruel. It’s an animal dammit, it NEEDS you. Don’t get one if you don’t plan on taking care of it. UGH! /endrant.

all about me, happenings, hmm interesting, is it just me?, mixed media, tragic, wtf?!

excuse me, is that YOUR blower?

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I didn’t think so!

Yesterday evening, I went outside with Sydney to watch him while he went potty, and I noticed that the handles on the shed were broken off, and hanging on by a little piece of plastic. Naturally, I thought, “well James has gone and broken this damn thing!”, so I asked him. Nope, turns out, he had just been in the shed about an hour before, after which, he went to the gym, leaving me and Sydney at the house.

While he was at the gym, someone came around the back of the house, jumped over the fence, and used a huge pipe to smash the handles off of the storage shed. We looked, and all we could see that he had taken was our leaf blower. Naturally, we were pretty freaked out, and we went back and looked at the footage of the theft from the security cameras. We got a visual of the criminal, and mulled over whether or not to go through the process of filing a police report; because when things have been stolen in the past, they have been very “oh well” about it.

We decided against filing a report at that time, and instead, James headed to Lowes to get some materials to make a new lock and securing mechanism (since the handles had been completely smashed off). Before he came home, the phone rings, and James quickly tells me that I need to call 911, because the guy is back! I had all of the lights in the back of the house off, so when I called 911, I walked back there, and sure enough, I could see him right at the fence (on the outside at this point), getting ready to jump into the yard!!! Needless to say, I was REALLY freaked out, and the 911 operator was listening to the whole scenario. I described the guy to her, and she relayed that message to the cop that was on the way.

The guy must have seen James’ car, because right as James came up the road behind our house, the guy stopped his plan of breaking back into the shed, and bolted. I couldn’t see where he went, and James took off (against my wishes) to find him. I stayed on the phone with the 911 operator until the cop arrived a good 20 minutes later. By then, James had seen a local man in the neighborhood that is well known for cutting people’s grass, and asked him if he knew the guy; and he did! Now, we know the guy’s name, and we relayed all of that information to the police.

You would think with that much information, they would act on it, or at least follow up, but nope; all he did was take a police report. While I am glad that the guy was “caught in the act”, and wasn’t able to steal anything else, I am still a little mad that he got away with it scott-free. I was also surprised at how ballsy it was for him to come back the same day, especially considering that we now know that he lives nearby. Hopefully, it is the last we will see of him; but if he does come back, the lock will be a lot more difficult for him to break this time around.

Things like this really freak me out, because it just makes you realize that there are people out there that will just take whatever they want, and they don’t care that it doesn’t belong to them. It was also creepy that I was home BOTH times he came to the house. I am just glad that it was only a petty theft, and that the whole thing is (HOPEFULLY) over.

In other news, my tivo has been shipped, and should arrive in 6 business days. ROCK! Speaking of ROCK, I beat the medium mode on GH: Encore last night where I got 5 stars on each song on the first try. WTF?! Either it is much easier than the other GH games, or I am a lot better… or both. Either way, it is a fun game, and I look forward to getting into the Hard mode next. I am disappointed that you can’t buy new songs, but GH:III is right around the corner, and hopefully, not to far out. I can’t wait for that game!

near and dear, show the love, tragic

RIP Tammy Faye

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I just wanted to write out a few thoughts, and offer my condolences to the family of Tammy Faye; a kind, gentle, beautiful, honorable, and wonderful soul. Tammy, you will be missed. You embraced the gay community, despite the hate the Christian community wanted you to push onto us. You helped people see that we were just people, just like everyone else, and there was no need to hate us because of who we are; and we love you for that. I personally am saddened by her loss, because it is saddest when the world loses someone who truly understood love and compassion; and did not discriminate how she shared it.

May you rest in peace, you sweet, beautiful soul.

I am just glad that you no longer have to suffer, because you definitely deserve eternal happiness; as you have been a shining example of what true Christianity is supposed to be about: acceptance and love.

Thank you for caring about us; I hope that you know that we certainly cared for you in return.

You will be missed, Tammy Faye.