Category: tragic

is it just me?, listen up!, public health, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

really… are people really this stupid?

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I saw this on towleroad this morning, and it seriously pissed me the fuck off:

Last night on Big Brother 9’s live feed, gay housemate Joshuah attempted to educate James, Chelsia, and Sharon on the ins and outs (so to speak) of gay sex. He also spreads some misinformation about protecting oneself from HIV:

“I do bareback with my boyfriend. We’ve both been tested for HIV and we’re both negative so it’s cool. I only do that with my boyfriend. I don’t do that on a random one night stand. That’s too risky. If you’re a top it’s okay because you can’t really get HIV from being the top because you’re penetrating them…”

I just want to know; are people really as stupid as this, or is this dumb ass alone in his thinking? Well, clearly, he isn’t alone, as the rates of infection continue to increase amongst gay men, which is not only disheartening, but it is disturbing. Yet, I still cannot even fathom why people are still this moronic about something as HUGE as HIV! Why on earth are people stupid enough to believe that you can’t get HIV if you are a top? Where did this moronic idea come from, and why is it, that gay men STILL believe it?!?!

It blows my mind. I have worked in HIV prevention for many years, and hearing shit like this just sends me over the edge. A part of me wants to say, “people just CAN’T believe that, because clearly, people are smarter than that… aren’t they?”, but I know that people really are this stupid. What has to happen to you for you to get it? Do you have to get IT? I just don’t understand how something as serious as HIV is taken so lightly, especially after it has been around for so very long. It is baffling.

So I’m going to put this out there, for all the morons: YES Virginia, you CAN get HIV if you are a top. Wear a condom you idiot, because clearly, you aren’t smart enough to know better. Wake the fuck up, and realize that this thing is called a goddamned epidemic for a reason.

/rant

get involved, is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic

how many times must this be said before it actually changes?

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In this clip, Ellen speaks about something very real and very dangerous, and unfortuantely, something that affects us all; HATE:

Seeing this clip (thanks to vanyel) makes me wonder AGAIN, why this isn’t common knowledge, and it makes me wonder how many times we are going to have to say this before it actually changes. I feel horrible for that boy’s family, and for any other family that has been devastated by hate. I am sick of hearing “that’s so gay”, and letting it go, because it isn’t funny. Ellen is right; being gay is not funny, IT’S NORMAL, and until we get that to be the message that everyone hears, things are just going to continue. I never thought I would want to be normal, but that’s exactly what would be the best thing for gay people; acknowledging that we are actually normal.

Is it so much to want to live in a world where you aren’t hated because of who you love? I would like to think that it isn’t too much to ask at all. I am just sickened by all of the hate and cruelty that is taught in this world, and how it is being passed on to our youth.

all about me, is it just me?, tragic, venting

consider this…

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I was going to write a product praise post today, but I have decided to instead focus on a very important word: consideration.

It is a small word, but it has huge implications. In a relationship, a strong bond of communication and the continual use of consideration are paramount.

But consider this… small lapses in judgment that occur more often than not, that continually challenge your partner’s belief that you actually consider them. What do you want to do to make it better? Do you simply apologize, and hope that he can understand that you acted without thinking (again)? What if he doesn’t want an apology, because he knows that it will only be followed by future apologies?

I just wish that I was near the top of the list. I don’t have to be number one, but I do need to be on the list. I want to be considered, and more than just an after thought. I don’t mind mistakes, and I can handle a misstep here and there, but continually asserting that consideration is being utilized, while example after example of it being missing are being presented, just isn’t going to get better with a simple I’m sorry.

You actually have to want to change. I want to be more considerate, because I know that I am far from perfect myself; but I hope that you do too.

Why do relationships have to be so hard sometimes? If there are any solutions that are out there, I am all ears.

"pointless", all about me, funnies, that is so gay, the catch-all-egory, tragic

fixing our wireless, and will someone please smack this ass?!

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This past weekend, me and several friends ventured out to a new (as in, we had never been there new) bar called BJ Roosters for a friend’s birthday. He said that they normally had go-go dancers on Saturday night, but as it turns out, they had them on Friday night as well. While the whole “half naked dancing men on a bar” thing does nothing but make me a little uncomfortable, I looked at the situation as an adventure, and as such, proceeded to drink enough so as not to worry too much about it.

We settled in one of the little rooms, and not 2 minutes after we had taken our seats, one of the many strippers came into our room to “see what we were up to”. As he entered, wearing nothing but underwear, he asked enthusiastically, “what are you guys talking about in here?” as he jumped up on the table that sat between the two facing couches that we occupied. I told him that we were just talking about random stuff, and then he pulled out his dick, and asked me if we wanted to talk about that. Well, I never. I told him that he was more than welcome to talk about it, but I would pass, as I didn’t see a need to talk about his penis, being that it was his and all. Unsatisfied with my answer, he sought further approval from my other friends. After we all gave a pretty clear “we are not interested” series of responses, he felt the need to “get something” out of the encounter, and proceeded to bend over, pull down his underwear, and requested that I smack his ass. In fact, he said “smack it!” very forcefully at me. I politely declined, and then he turned to my friend Chris, and insisted that he “slap that ass!”. Chris also declined, which prompted him to ask, “damn, isn’t anyone gonna smack this ass?”, to which my friend Rich responded, “I will!”, and slapped the hell out of him. He seemed satisfied, so he pulled up the underwear and left us alone for the rest of the night.

It was definitely an interesting place. There was once “dancer” in particular who we watched intently; not because he was cute or good, but because he was so tweaked out of his mind that he was barely able to stand on the bar, let alone “dance”. It was a funny, but kind of sad sight to behold. Needless to say, he was the entertainment we enjoyed the most all evening.

The one saving grace of that place, was the amazingly hot bartender who totally gave me a “gay discount”. He looked a lot like Shayne Ward, and I was swooning over him all night. After seeing my tab, it appears I wasn’t the only one looking… or maybe he just mis-charged me… Either way, the boy was HOT.

Switching to a completely different topic, we finally got our wireless network back up and running last night, after James decided to reset everything on Monday without consulting me. He wiped out every setting, meaning that I had to re-set up everything; which wouldn’t have been a problem, if I knew all the settings I had put on it in the first place. On top of it all, after I set it up, the Xbox wouldn’t recognize the network no matter what I did. On a hunch, I suggested that we get a new router, and low and behold, the problem has been solved. Hooray for working technology; boo to partners that don’t consult you before messing something up that they themselves cannot fix. Oh well… all’s well that ends well, right?

all about me, near and dear, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

“family” woe and health concerns

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Yesterday I got a call that NO ONE wants to get: my Grandma is in the hospital. I had spoken to her earlier in the week, and knew that she was having some adverse reactions to a new blood pressure medication, but I didn’t realize it was bad enough for her to need emergency transport and a hospital stay. I just talked with her, and she is feeling really good (other than having to deal with freezing hospital temperatures, and long wait times), and apparently, all of her tests are coming back normal. Whew. That makes me feel good to know that she is doing well, and it is probably that medication, as we were talking about the other day. Now, she can get a new medication (and a new doctor, IMHO), and hopefully, get back to feeling right as rain soon.

UPDATE: I just got the news that she is about to go home. YAY! I just hope that she is feeling good ASAP.

As I desperately tried to get in touch with someone who would have information after my cousin called me with that news last night (who totally came through for me, and has always been there amazingly… thanks cuz!), I was troubled that I hadn’t heard anything, and couldn’t get any information from the hospital as to her condition. After several phone calls, I finally got to talk with my Grandma around 9:30, only to find out that she was at the hospital by herself.

As of this moment, I haven’t heard a single word from either of my parents. What the fuck? As those of you that have read this blog may know, I clearly have family woes when it comes to my parents, but this just reinforces something frighteningly clear to me: the distance between us is not only geographical, and it doesn’t only apply to me. I was so angry when I talked with my Grandma, and found out that my sister’s husband was one of the people that came in the ambulance that brought my Grandma to the hospital. I was angry, because that means that not only do my parents have to know that she is in the hospital, that they neither saw it important enough to check in on her, nor alert me to her being there in the first place… and they wonder why I am “so distant”.

Care or don’t care, that is up to you, but it is glaringly clear to me what is truly important in the minds of some of my family members, and it truly makes me sad. I also wish that whole “why don’t you ever visit” mind game would stop; you KNOW why. I wish things could be different, but apparently, they are not going to get any better, and I have to deal with that. I have to deal with it, because they aren’t going to. I just hope my Grandma knows that I care, and that I am here for her; she is one of the only people that has consistently been there for me in return, and in my “family”, that is a very, very rare thing.

is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic, wtf?!

the fate of the atlanta park festival(s)

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It appears that the drought we experienced this year in Georgia, continually has more and more interesting ways of affecting us; apparently, the city of Atlanta has said NO to having festivals in Piedmont Park this year. This means that there will be no Dogwood Festival, no Peachtree Road race, and no Pride festival, in Piedmont Park in 2008. Also, unless they can find somewhere else to hold these events, they won’t be happening this year at all.

While I understand that the city is concerned about how the park looks, and the aesthetic of having grass and vegetation, I have to wonder, is it worth losing the revenue that each of those festivals bring to the area? I mean, Pride and the Dogwood Festival alone have to be huge money makers for the city, because they literally attract hundreds of thousands of people each. Additionally, the businesses around the park benefit from those festivals; I know that Grady High school gets a major boost of funds by being able to charge for parking, which goes directly to student programs.

Additionally, I wonder about the potential impact of losing the “biggest Pride festival in the south”? How will this impact the gay population in Atlanta, and how will it impact the gay presence in midtown? If Pride is canceled this year, who’s to say they won’t cancel it in the future? It also makes you wonder, if they were looking for a viable excuse to get rid of the festival in the first place, and the drought made for the perfect scapegoat? It just seems a little extreme to cancel all of those festivals over the worry for preserving grass.

How do you feel about the cancellation of these events? I know that I personally am sad to know that something that is as huge as Pride may not happen this year; all because of “new” city ordinances on grass. I know that I, for one, am curious to see how the Atlanta Pride committee will try and make up for this blow to the fate of the festival; I just can’t imagine not having Pride in Atlanta.

Again, it just seems kind of extreme to cancel these festivals because of worry over the growth of grass. After all, what is the point of having a park in the middle of the city if you can’t use it? I for one hope that they can come to some sort of consensus between the city and the festival organizers, because it will be a really dull if Pride doesn’t happen this year. Pride is definitely something I look forward to, and definitely something that I would miss if it doesn’t happen; and even if it happens somewhere else, what will it be like? One thing is for sure, the fate of the festival rests with this decision, and I for one hope that something can be done to save each of these Atlanta institutions.

civil rights, get involved, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

some wins, a major worry, and a lack of perspective (yet again)

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I want to high-five Dennis Kucinich; it does take balls to put forward something like the impeachment of Cheney (especially when we have been calling for it for so long). While it may not actually happen (boo!), I hope that it does; and I won’t forget that Dennis is the guy that got the issue actually going, which is a welcome sign that there are some balls somewhere in the house of Dem.

ENDA passed; which is a great step forward in the protection against being fired simply for being gay or lesbian. I hope that this signals more good things in store for the equalization of rights for all of us. No one should be able to be fired because their boss is a bigot, and now, it seems like they are a little safer. Bravo.

I blogged about it before, but please, don’t forget that there is a gay youth in serious danger of being hanged for being gay in Iran. This cannot happen. I am glad to see that the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission is at least paying some attention now. This is a chilling reminder that gays and lesbians are NOT free in this world, and if one of us is at risk of being murdered because of who we are, we are all at risk. It cannot be allowed to happen, and Iran must not be allowed to conduct serious acts of murder and violence against any human. I certainly feel for this boy and his family. By keeping this topic in the news, we are keeping Iran under the microscope, and hopefully, it will lead to a stay of execution indefinitely.

Finally, I was amused when I read that this is what Bush had to say about the veto override the Senate exercised in the funding of projects to rebuild the areas affected by hurricane Katrina:

“American taxpayers should not be asked to support a pork-barrel system of federal authorization and funding where a project’s merit is an afterthought,” he said.

Wait, WHAT? All of a sudden, Mr. Bush is concerned what WE taxpayers are concerned with when it comes to government spending? Uh, Mr. Bush, you can’t have a blank check for your war on the middle east, and then get all pissy when we want money to rebuild parts of our own nation; it just shows how out of touch with the real situation he really is. Someone, please get this man a large does of perspective; stat. I love how it was “an afterthought”… uh, someone really needs to get him up to speed as to what is going on in the world right now; the man clearly has no idea.

Other than that… I am sure that there is a lot more SHIT going on in the world that is scary and evil, but it almost seems too overwhelming to deal with it all, doesn’t it? I mean, just look at the CRAPPER that the economy is in… we are seriously inching towards being TOTALLY fucked instead of just being fucked. When will the great America turn things around for herself? I just hope that we can.

all about me, happenings, near and dear, tragic

so I disconnect…

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Do you ever have those times in your life where you want to run as far and as fast as you can away from anything, and just be alone?

I am having one of those times right now. I feel almost like I need a vacation from just being me; or from everything for that matter. I love James, my friends, and everyone around me, but I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed; and this isn’t about them… it’s about me.

Part of my stress is that school is proving to be as difficult as I feared, and the stress has taken me to a place I don’t like to be. I hope that next semester is better, because there is no going back from here. If I don’t move forward with the “next phase” of my life, I don’t know what will happen.

I know that this will pass, as it always does, but damn, it fucking hurts when you are in it, you know? If you don’t, good for you.

It would really do me some good to just get some time to myself, and the bad thing is, I don’t see that happening any time soon. Sorry to post such a depressing sentiment, but that’s where I am right now. I hope everyone else, at least, is doing better that I, and even more, I hope that I am doing better very, very soon myself.

civil rights, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

remember, remember…

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The fifth of November,
the gunpowder, treason, and plot,
I know of no reason
why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot…

The plot of Guy Fawkes is a good reminder that dissent may truly be the most ambitious, yet patriotic form of patriotism (which is paraphrasing the often thought to be Thomas Jefferson, but it actually wasn’t (?), quote). I believe, now more than ever, that it is imperative, given the circumstances of this country, this world, this existence, that we stand up and question what is being done. Things are out of control, and we can’t look the other way any longer.

We can’t let there be a time when recalling the events of this day include a time when no one stood up when they came for the others, and then, inevitably they finally came for us, and no one was left to stand up for us. All accounts of the events in the news indicate that in more ways than one, things are going from bad to worse, and I can’t help but think, “does it have to happen?”. Do we have to just follow? Why aren’t our representatives doing something about this? How bad does it have to get before we make it stop?

Remembering the bravery that it takes to stand up to the government isn’t enough, but it seems that it is all that there is right now. I hope that changes soon. I hope that our words and our actions can bring some accountability to where there is none. I hope that our pressure on our government can shed light on the theft that is occurring right before our eyes. I hope that we won’t be the ones that suffer for the blood money that those at the top are raking in.

This really makes me think; where is V when you need him? I think that I will be watching V for Vendetta tonight… and hoping for some bravery to stand against our ever-increasingly-oppressive government. Want more? Check out this remembering article.

civil rights, get involved, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, that is so gay, tragic, well?

executing homosexuals doesn’t bother us… so long as it happens elsewhere

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This has me upset, outraged, and disturbed.

Less than 24 hours ago, atlmalcontent professed an agreement with my position on gay marriage as an issue, and it is the issue that has gotten me so upset, that brings us to agreement again; in a big way. There is a boy about to be executed for alleged homosexual acts in Iran, and there is an almost chilling silence (or worse (??), only a simple passing mention — which I admit, is at least SOMETHING), coming from the gay rights organizations and gay mouthpieces of the world. How is this possible? I thought that our gay rights organizations like the HRC stood for equalizing and gaining HUMAN rights for gays and lesbians everywhere? Perhaps it is more accurate then, to say that they are focused more on gaining rights for gays and lesbians here in America only? I wish it weren’t the case, but one can only surmise that the apparent silence with regards to this boy’s pending execution, definitely suggests that this is a more accurate mission statement. So I wonder, why aren’t we fighting for every gay and lesbian person in the world; or for that matter, the freedom and equality of everyone? I know that it is important that we focus energy on finding equality for ourselves, but it is clear that we need to widen our focus, because acts against any homosexual as awful as this, are acts against all of us — because it could BE any of us.

Instantly, when I heard about this case, I was reminded of when those two boys were executed in Iran for the very same thing a while back, and how they were very publicly hanged for their “crimes”. That image is still burned in my mind, and thinking of it turns my stomach to knots, and brings tears to my eyes. In addition to that memory, to think that someone was/is going to be hanged for doing something that I take for granted is indeed scarily humbling and intensely frightening. What’s worse, in my mind, is to think that we don’t seem very concerned about the fact that it is happening again. Why aren’t we all up in arms about this case, as we supposedly were before (because really, what was done about it last time?)? Could it be, that we are waiting for the kid to be swinging from the rafters before we give it a passing glance? WTF? Why aren’t the human rights organizations outraged, and calling for action from the government? Those questions are burning me up inside, and because of a lack of attention, I can have no answers.

Even more, part of me shudders to think that it could (at least in some small part) be because the boy is Iranian, and we are currently being drilled by our government to believe that Iranians are our enemies, linking the boy with our concept of an enemy (and therefore, lack of care if he dies(?)). I really hope that isn’t so, but it is swimming in my mind nonetheless. The lack of any concern has me reeling, and looking for any answers, to be quite honest.

The point here is this: there is an awful crime that has happened before about to happen again; and it should not go unchecked. The Iranian government should not be able to commit such heinous acts of violence against anyone, and someone should say something, and at a bare minimum, focus some attention on this situation. This represents the very problem with only focusing on “some” civil liberties in “some” places for “some” people; if you go somewhere else, in the world where you are not protected (or worse, for those that have no choice but to be born gay in those places), and it means that you have done nothing to help the global cause of equality for all gays all over the world. Being safe in America, and able to marry, does not protect gays in other parts of the world; and that is something that should concern us. We should care that gays and lesbians in other countries are KILLED for what we take for granted.

I for one am hoping that something is done, and this CHILD does not have to die. I hope that our gay rights organizations speak up, and show some consideration for what this child is going through; because it could just as easily be one of our own… but again, the fact is, that he IS one of our own. This boy’s struggle for life should really shake us to the core, and make us realize how good we have it here; and challenge us to make it better everywhere… but for whatever reason, it isn’t, and that really bothers me.

Please, do what this post is doing, and direct as much attention as you can to this situation. I heard about this from atlmalcontent, and by voicing our outrage, we are forcing this to be discussed. If one person tells someone else, this can go somewhere; I believe that. Attention to heinous acts of violence like this, can hopefully make changes happen; and it is clear that we are the ones who shine the light on it. Please, don’t remain silent.

My heart goes out to this boy and his family. I can only hope that he is saved. This is a dark, dark day for gay rights worldwide; unfortunately, it has happened before, and will probably happen again. What will it take for us to stand up and unite?