Category: tragic

blog on blog, five song friday, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

major bandwith theft and the fate of the 5SF

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It seems that it is always the few that have to ruin it for all of the others. So you may have noticed that as of this morning, none of the audio links work on this site anymore. This is a direct response to an email that I received from my hosting company that said that I was about to exceed my 400GB bandwidth quota for the month. Naturally, I was quite surprised, because I rarely ever approach 60GB transfer a month for the entire site, so I went to see what was going on.

Apparently, some people in another country, specifically the sites listed at the bottom of this post, think that it’s okay to just steal bandwidth. Well, unfortunately, since they have been stealing from me, and specifically from the mp3s that I used to do the 5SF, you guys are going to suffer; I am not going to offer audio anymore until I figure out a way to do it without leaving the back door open for these motherfuckers.

I didn’t know it, but the application that I use(d) for embedding audio gives you the URL of the file if you do a view source, a fact that I was unaware of until today. I don’t know how I missed that before, but apparently, I did. I don’t know a everything about permissions, but in order to use the plug in, you need to enable execute; which allows you to just steal the bandwidth if you know the file’s URL (which again, the plug in stupidly provides). Blocking the access to the folder is not enough it seems, and as such, drastic action had to be taken.

So what does this all mean for you? I’m extremely pissed off, and very sad to say that it potentially means the end of the 5SF. If I can’t find a way to block the use of my files elsewhere, while still making them available here, I won’t be able to post audio anymore; and what’s the point of doing a post about music if I can’t make it available for you to listen to? I don’t see youtube as a viable option, especially since I stopped using it early on in the 5SF because of the stupid rules about embedding certain videos and not others.

I really don’t want to stop doing the 5SF, so please, if you have ANY way that I can post the audio without having assholes steal my bandwidth, step up to the mic; the fate of the 5SF seemingly rests with you. The plug in that I was using was the pixelout audio player plug in, and as of writing this post, I haven’t been able to spot a way that I could hide the URL of the file; which would obviously be necessary to continue using it in the future. Again, any and all help would be most appreciated.

Here are the sites that were stealing my bandwidth: Fuck you, assholes!
http://blog.rayli.com.cn
http://img.kaixin001.com.cn
http://blog.qooza.hk/keng029
http://220.181.38.82/

civil rights, politics, that is so gay, tragic, well?, wtf?!

more hate from the catholic church

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Check out this latest act of stupidity drowned in hate, from the Catholic Church: (h/t to my friend W. Scott for letting me know about this)

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.

“If the city requires this, we can’t do it,” Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the archdiocese, said Wednesday. “The city is saying in order to provide social services, you need to be secular. For us, that’s really a problem.”

They might as well have released a statement that said specifically, “We, the Catholic Church, hate the idea of gay people getting married so much, that we will turn our backs on the charity we provide to people that desperately need it. If you, the state that gives us some of the money that allows us to do that charity force us to follow your rules, we won’t provide those services anymore. Our hatred is so strong, that we are willing to publicly paint ourselves as haters just to prove how much we feel and want to perpetuate that hate. Hate, hate, hate; that is what we are all about. Erm, I don’t know how to end… I guess, Love, the Catholic Church.”

Now, the Catholic Church has a strong track record of doling out their own specifically interesting breed of hatred, so this isn’t really a surprise to me. However, it is highlighting the fact that if you didn’t think they could go lower, oh boy, you were wrong; there is no telling how low the Catholic Church will go in the name of hatred over what they decide is wrong. I am sure that Jesus would love the idea of turning your back on the needy just to prove a point, Catholic Church. Y’all truly are a “city on a hill”.

Finally, I do have to say, directly to the Catholic Church in DC; if you are so upset with being told to treat people equally, why not give up your tax exempt status, and stop receiving city funds? Additionally, the statement released accused this measure of ignoring religious freedom, which it doesn’t do; what it does, is it highlights the importance of following the covenant laid forth in the constitution, that there be a separation of church and state, and as such, one can practice which ever religion they want. If you don’t want the government making decisions, and “controlling” your religion, then stop accepting money from them and expecting differential treatment; you can’t have it both ways.

civil rights, is it just me?, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

Maine votes against gay marriage: some thoughts

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Yesterday, Maine’s vote sent a(nother) clear message to me: gay people do not matter to the majority of Americans. I am sure that many will argue that this is not the position of most Americans, but the message is too clear to ignore. Our civil rights are constantly up for debate, and constantly, we have them taken away. I cannot interpret that as anything other than a message that we do not matter; this society does not see fit to grant us the same rights and liberties as the rest of Americans.

It’s interesting, because this same society gladly takes our tax money, our contributions to society, and expects us to serve our country, but people continue to pass laws that reflect whether or not they feel “comfortable” with the “idea” of us getting married? Um, how does that work? That’s not just “unfair”, it’s un-American.

Isn’t the constitution supposed to grant freedom; not take it away? Additionally, isn’t the constitution supposed to protect us from the government making decisions about whether or not to strip us of our civil rights? Where are the values and principles that represent the underlying foundation of this nation? They are glaringly absent when you look at any vote for or against anyone’s civil rights. This bears repeating: voting for or against anyone’s rights goes against the very foundation of this country. We are all supposed to be free and equal. By putting this up for a vote, more than half of the people in Maine have gone against the foundation of our nation, and have made it clear that they feel as if it is okay to make the decision against gay people being equal.

Again, how does this make sense?

Every time we vote for or against the civil rights of any group of people in this country, especially minorities, we are sending a clear message that their rights do not matter. No one should ever have to campaign to have the popular vote determine whether or not they can have the same rights as everyone else. It’s just plain wrong.

Shame on 53% of Maine voters for believing that their opinion matters more than the rights of gays and lesbians living in Maine. Since this isn’t the first, and it will not be the last time that our rights are in the hands of those that wish to discriminate, I also say shame on any American who thinks that their opinion matters more than someone’s civil rights.

One final thing. In looking for the results of the vote this morning, I came across this article, and I have to comment on the quote from Jeff Flint:

Voters have a pretty good grasp about what they think marriage should be. It’s not that they’re discriminatory or bigoted. They just draw the line at what they think marriage should be.

Um, what? I’m sorry, but I will never allow anyone who says bullshit like this to have a free pass. If you are against gay marriage, you are against it because of discrimination; that is what you voted on. You voted specifically in order to discriminate against gay people. Jeff, just because you are able to some how twist your illogical thoughts into what you consider rational doesn’t not get you off the hook. You represent a discriminatory body of Americans that have “values” and beliefs that are most certainly based on bigotry. You can’t take away someone’s rights and say that you did it for “personal reasons” or “personal beliefs”, and then in the same breath say, “but I have nothing against them”. Perhaps he should actually look up the word discrimination, because I don’t think he understands the concept.

Perhaps he, and others like him, should keep their opinions to themselves, and stop using them to determine whether or not someone else should or should not have equal rights. Feel free to define marriage however you want; just don’t decide how I, or anyone else, has access to my civil rights.

happenings, home improvement, tragic, venting, wtf?!

my awesome day, starring the hot water heater

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This morning, I woke up like normal, took a shower like normal, and then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, also like normal. When I walked towards the bathroom door, I stepped in what I thought was a fresh patch of pee, and before I could even chastise Mr. Pickles for ruining my morning, things got instantly worse. James declared that the pee didn’t smell like pee at all, and that is when we discovered it wasn’t pee; the bedroom carpet was saturated with water. Instantly, we figured out what had happened: the hot water heater had leaked, and flooded a lot of our bedroom. After some quick scrambling to see how bad things were, we found that not only had it leaked, but it had completely busted, and all of the 40 hot gallons of water were now resting comfortably somewhere outside of the tank.
Wonderful! Our hot water heater is flooding the bedroom. Awesome!!
A couple of phone calls, and a plumber later, we had spent $1100 and our hot water heater issue was no more.

…Or so I wish.

The floor was saturated, and since this has actually happened to me before, I knew that we needed to act fast, because that water would certainly attract every spore of mold from miles around if it wasn’t dried up quickly. After a clean up estimate that I thought was kind of ridiculously high ($1800), I set out to rent the fans and a dehumidifier myself. Since the pad of the carpet is pretty much a big, floor covering sponge, I decided to just pull it up and throw it away, so that I could increase my chances the actual subfloor might dry in time. I also made that decision based on the fact that carpet padding is pretty inexpensive overall, and the padding that was there was pretty gross upon inspection.
Awesome day 2009! Ugh
As I write this, my bedroom is not a bed room at all. Our bed has been moved to the office, and the carpet has been pulled up, the pad has been cut out, and there are fans blowing wildly in the room that was my bedroom this morning.

Yeah, it could have been worse, but that sentiment hardly makes one feel better when their bedroom floods and they have a day like I did. I’m still trying to convince James that this just gives us a good reason to get hardwoods for the bedroom (which we have been talking about since the day we moved in), but what will happen in the coming days is yet to be seen. I’m hoping that something good can come out of this truly annoying situation; and at this point, the hardwood floors are all I have have to cling to in keeping that hope alive. All and all, a pretty shitty day that I had to use a vacation day on.

flickr, happenings, tragic

atlanta flood 2009

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I, like many of you, heard lots of reports of how bad the flooding was out there yesterday, and I don’t think I really realized it until I was driving home and saw this:
Ok I believe it's bad.
While I know my personal observation was relatively minor compared to everything else that went down, I have to say that the whole thing is rather scary. Also, it has me reliving when hurricane Floyd came through Greenville, NC, and the whole town was practically underwater because of the surge of the Tar River. I was in college at the time, and luckily, I lived in the dorms, so I personally was relatively “untouched” by the storm (well, except for being out of school for 2 weeks, and being forced out of the dorm because of water contamination). Well, that, and a lot of my friends lost their homes, cars, and most of their possessions, and it was horrible. I remember the aftermath of the storm, and the times after the flooding were almost worse than the actual flooding, so I know there are many Atlanta residents that have a long journey ahead of them.

My heart goes out to anyone that was touched by this unusually heavy storm; I hope that everyone is safe and their homes are safe as well. Luckily for us, we just lost power for a few hours, and that was the worst of it. I just hope that things don’t continue to escalate for those that have already suffered. If you are still out there facing the flooding, please, stay safe. I only hope that the coming days of forcasted rain don’t make this dire situation even worse.

civil rights, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic, venting, wtf?!

Atlanta gay bar, The Eagle raided

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UPDATE on the Eagle raid: I no longer THINK this was discriminatory, I know it was. This comment literally send shivers down my spine:

Du-Wayne Ray, store manager of Rawhide Leather, which operates below the Eagle, said that he and one of his employees heard one white uniformed officer say to another, “This is a lot more fun than raiding n***ers with crack.”

Ray said he was handcuffed for an hour-and-a-half to two hours on the back deck of The Eagle, and said, “A lot of anti-gay comments were made.”

This is an outrage. Atlanta police should be extremely forthcoming with formal apologies to anyone and everyone involved; additionally, a formal apology to the gay community should be submitted. This level of discrimination is shocking and unbelievable; especially when it comes from the very people that are supposed to keep us safe. Bigotry in any form cannot be tolerated, and this again, is just shocking to know that it came from Atlanta police officers.

I honestly can’t believe that this happened, here in Atlanta, last night. I thought we were living in a more progressive city, but it just goes to show, you aren’t safe from discrimination anywhere.

all about me, blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

Yelp: a(nother) soapbox for bigots?

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Imagine my surprise when someone requested to be friends with me on Yelp today, and I find out that he is writing extremely hurtful and bigoted remarks about me in one of his “reviews”. Not only did he post the review, but after it was taken down, he was allowed to remain member of Yelp, AND, re-posted a similar version of the review just a few minutes later.

Here’s what he said (the first time around), in “response” to my review of my experience at Green’s Liquor store:

After reading Duane M. review of Green’s Beverage Store, I had to fire back. I visit Green’s Beverage store once or twice a month. Everyone there has always been very nice and helpful.
However, I have never carried a purse and I don’t understand why a man would. You said you are not a woman, but after reading all your reviews you sure do act and bitch like a woman. Come on, we all know that someone that wants to homosexualize America likes to pretend that he is a woman. Perhaps Duane should take the dildo out of his ass!! Fucking pussys like you make me sick. When you choose to suck another man’s dick or take some guys cock up your ass, you become a 2nd class citizen. You have no right to ever bitch. Please keep your mouth shut and get back into the closet.
hmmmm, and you wonder why most of America hates gays.

So eloquent. Let’s look at the face of a true bigot, and oh so clearly one of the highest forms of complete and total asshole, Jake P. of Dacula, GA, shall we:


Just take it in… all that asshole-ishness is almost too much to contain. By the way, nice lip gloss, Jake.

Now, the review was flagged, and eventually taken down, and I didn’t even know about it until I randomly read this thread. However, Yelp allowed him to post another review, very similarly filled hate speech as the first one:

After reading Duane M. review that he likes to dress up like a woman and wants to homesexualize American, I had to do something. I go into Green’s a few times a month and everyone is very nice and helpful.
But, Duane with his fag bag is acting like a little bitchy woman.
Perhaps if Duane got his dildo out of his ass, all of America would be a better place to live in. Duane what you wrote about Green’s was pure hateful, you being a little light in the loafers should understand what is it to be hated.
You are not a woman, your worse. Your a 2nd class citizen, start acting like one.

That second review was even better, Jake flexes his superior knowledge of all things grammar (um, it’s you’re, sweetness, not your).

While this will probably be taken down as well (I’m fairly certain it has of this posting), I can’t help but question why Yelp would allow someone like this to remain a member of their site? As a member of Yelp for YEARS, I was honestly considering deleting everyone of my reviews and publicly declaring myself against their organization; especially because they did not initially seem to have much concern for their members (if only because this guy was allowed to go on posting hate speech, even after he was “punished” for doing it the first time). Not only am I extremely offended by the bigot that was allowed to spread his hate about me without any repercussion (on a public website that I am willingly a part of), but I am even more upset that they there was very slow response to one member of their site clearly gay bashing another (my point being that he was allowed to continue using the site with no restriction).

Well, I sent this post to the Atlanta Ambassador for Yelp, and I got an answer and a clear and expected response, and they are taking care of it. That is a major plus in the Yelp column. As I mentioned above, I considered severing ties with Yelp, because I have had enough people call me a faggot to my face during my lifetime, to continue supporting a web service that just gives someone the platform to do it to me on the internet. However, because of Yelp’s positive and proactive actions, I will not go that far. HOWEVER, and that is a BIG however, I still think that people like this should be banned from the site after a post as bad as his was; 3 strikes is clearly 2 too many with things like this. A first offense of this nature should not be tolerated. If you are clearly bashing another member of the site, do you really deserve a chance to keep contributing? It honestly destroys my hope for humanity when people like this rear their ugly heads, and spread their hatred for all to see.

UPDATE: BANNED. Yelp wins. AWESOME. Thank you YELP!!! I really makes me happy that Yelp takes things like this seriously.

Yeah, you’re right… being gay isn’t all that bad anymore. Being second class isn’t that big of a deal. Things are just swell for us, and we should stop complaining. RIIIIGHT.

get involved, is it just me?, near and dear, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

teacher furloughs: a new low for Perdue

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When James mentioned that they were going to be asking teachers to take 3 unpaid days to “make up for a huge deficit”, I honestly thought he was joking. Since he is teacher, I have had a first hand account of out what really goes on inside the schools, and it actually blows my mind that our governor would want to take even more from those that have very little to give.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the salary of a teacher isn’t a large one, and the job is grueling. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him deal with horrible students, angry parents, and have the administration turn their backs on him every time; and he is not alone, MANY of my friends are teachers and deal with similar issues every day. He works his ass off, and the thanks he gets is a meager salary (ESPECIALLY when you consider the work put in, it should be MUCH higher), zero respect from students, parents, and the administration; and now a demand from our “wonderful” governor to give some of it back. How much do teachers need to give before we let THEM have something back?!

Since everyone should be giving back, Sonny Perdue, why not give some of your salary back? If this deficit is such an issue, why not make cuts on other things, things that are not as important as the education of our state’s youth? I can’t find a direct comparison, but I’ve heard many times that Georgia’s school rank very low when compared nationally, which to me, would indicate a severe NEED to make it as good as possible. Taking from those that give so much for so little is not only wrong, but frankly, it is completely insulting. Someone that is sitting so happily in his ivory tower as Perdue could never, and apparently will never, grasp how difficult the job of teaching youth really is; hell, I only hear the stories, and I know that I could never do it. To me, this is a slap in the face of our state’s teachers, who already contend with a drastically underfunded educational program in the first place.

It sickens me the way that teachers are treated, because it is perhaps one of the most (if not THE most) important jobs one can have. Sonny Perdue, this is not only wrong, it is shameful and hurtful that you would expect even more from those that give everything they have, and take a pay cut in doing so. I hope that the rallying of teachers can strike this ridiculous request down, but knowing how “caring” Perdue has been up until this point, I can bet that teachers should expect just another big old helping of shit to add to their already difficult professional lives. Shame shame shame.

is it just me?, tragic, venting, wtf?!

why do I always attract “that girl”?

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Saturday night, some friends and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and chose a restaurant with a big patio (the Midway Pub in the EAV) for dinner. Overall, it was a nice dinner, a friend of mine in from out of town made friends with a neighboring table, and we all had a good time. Until…

As we were eating, some random chick came up and put her hand on James’ and another friend of mine’s backs, and asked us if there was anything that she could do to make our evening any better. We thought that she worked at Midway, because she looked back at the restaurant when she said it, and well, why the fuck else would she be talking to us, asking us if she could make our night better, right? Wrong.

This bitch was drunk off of her ass, and started to molest my friend Brian, and then started making her way around the table, towards me. I had a basket of tater tots sitting in front of me, and she leans in, takes one, and dips in my ketchup on my plate, and eats it. Having had enough of her, I told her that I had boundaries, and that she just crossed one, and needed to back the fuck off.

The best, is that she leans back, and drunkenly says, “Jesus, I eat one fucking hush puppy, and he gets all uppity”. To which I replied, “they are tater tots, dumb ass, and you need to go away right now”.

What is it about me that always attracts these social retards? Seriously, I don’t care how drunk you are, don’t come over to my diner table, and start eating off of my plate, that is not only rude, it is just gross. Personal boundaries are one thing, and social cues are another; this girl clearly had no concept of either. Thank goodness she took my direct instruction to leave us alone, and finally did so.

After she left, my friend joked that she was probably hitting on us, to which I replied, “she clearly had no idea how far up the wrong tree she was barking”. Little does she know, but being a gay man means that I don’t have to put up with drunk straight girls and their antics, and I have no problem saying so.

blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

with a “role model” like this…

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Who needs enemies? ESPECIALLY when this particular “role model” is nothing but a non-celebrity that is using his crass, bitchy, and bitter attitude to do nothing but bring the rest of us down to his level. Unfortunately, the person I am speaking of, is faux-celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, and his latest stunt that is bringing even more shame on the gay community.

Yes, the dumb ass got punched in the face by someone he refers to as a “thug”, and I will go on record as saying that I personally do not approve of anyone being assaulted for any reason. However, one must account for the fact that he has made a career out of exploiting and making stuff up about other people (as well as continued betrayal of our community from within), and in this instance, he escalated the situation himself, even though he claims he would never resort to violence (Um, Perez, dear, violence can definitely be verbal; perhaps you need some education on that subject?). While I may not think that it was right for him to get assaulted, I hope that this incident can give him some foresight into just what he is doing to the gay community as one of its representatives (even though I am sure I am not alone in saying that we don’t want him).

With people like Perez Hilton being just one of the many faces of the gay community, we are completely going backwards in helping our struggle of gaining acceptance and credibility in this world. We can never expect to be taken serious about equal rights, especially with regards to the diminished use of hate speech, when loud mouthed hypocrites like Perez continually throw around the very hate speech that we are fighting to stop.

So I say:

Perez, from one gay person to another, can you PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP and go away, for the sake of the VERY community that you SAY you are so concerned about? Your incredibly long 15 minutes of fame has done nothing but shine a bad light on our community, and your continued self defamation has not been, nor will no longer be, welcome; especially from me.

Do I need to remind you that this month marks the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots; which is rightly regarded as the first time gays and lesbians took a stand and fought back, which in turn, became a symbol of the beginning of the fight for gay rights? Do I need to point out that 40 years in, and representatives of our community, such as yourself, are continuing to bring us down? Is this how you honor the fight, and the anniversary of our struggle this month?

I’m not glad that you got punched in the face, but the fact that you, a gay man, got punched in the face because you antagonized someone (whose sexuality is irrelevant), by calling him a faggot is beyond reprehension. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself. If you truly care for your community, as you say that you do, why not be a good example, instead of continuing to be a thorn in our paw? Your behavior has consequences, and continuing down the road of ignorance you so willingly travel just is not acceptable.

YOU are causing harm to our community, and YOU need to stop it. Calling out others, like Ms. California, was a “nice gesture”, but you are doing far more damage by continuing to fan the flames of your incredibly self-unaware hypocrisy.

I want equal rights, Perez, I really do. I believe in my heart that you do to. So why not be a voice for the gay community that is anything but utterly destructive? Do you have it in you to be anything other than hypocritical and bitter? For the sake of our public image, I certainly hope so.