Category: mixed media

Shiny Toy Guns @ The Loft ATL 5/25/07

So, as I mentioned yesterday afternoon, we had the pleasure of seeing the fantastical Shiny Toy Guns, live, at The Loft, last night.

First of all, if you haven’t been to the Loft, it is really tiny, and it is actually a kind of cool place to see a band, because you can literally get right up front if you want. I managed to find a great spot right over on the right side of the stage, and I stayed there all night.

I took tons of pictures, all of which you can see on my flickr page. If you click the picture above, it will take you to the flickr page for that picture, and then you should see a set over on the right. If you want to see all of them, I suggest you check it out. I managed to get some pictures I really liked.

One final note about the show, while Shiny Toy Guns were AMAZING, and totally lived up to my every desire and exceeded every one of my expectations, the bands that opened for them were total shit. I don’t know if they picked them, but the band that went on before them was especially bad. They were called Hourly Radio, and I don’t get why so many people in the audience liked them; I know bad music when I hear it. Oh well, to each their own.

If we didn’t have to sit through the opening bands, the night would have been perfect. I will definitely want to see Shiny Toy Guns again in the future.

Side note: If you are at the Loft, and you want a liquor drink, getting the larger size is only $1 more. Good to know.

Hope everyone is having a kick ass Saturday!

tonight: Shiny Toy Guns

Tonight we get to see the Shiny Toy Guns at the Loft. I am so excited, because I love them. Here are some songs that you should have on your ipod, and be playing a lot, because they are fantastical in every way:
Le Disko:

&
You Are The One:

Now, I hope to get some great pictures of this great band tonight. If you haven’t heard of them before now, it is clear that you aren’t listening, and you need to start! Check them out. You won’t be sorry! Hope your day is going swell!

to my WONDERFUL fans…

Well, to my one-derful, kind-of-internet-stalker, fan. I wanted to write this post as a symbol of my gratitude, and as a way to bestow a huge THANKS(!1!!!11!!) for his continued love and attention! I am so flattered that I don’t even know where to begin…

Perhaps it could best be described by a monologue, from a scene in the 1981 movie, based on the best-selling memoir of Christina Crawford, titled Mommie Dearest. The scene I speak of, is the one where Joan, after staying home from the awards show, comes out to greet the press and her fans who are waiting outside of her house, to accept the Academy Award for Best Actress she has just won for Mildred Peirce:

I would rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world!
You, all of you here, and everywhere, gave me this award tonight.
And I accept it from you, and only you.
I love all of you!

This is such a wonderful sentiment, that I am clearly speechless, and extremely touched! Now, while, I know that in my case, the award I am receiving isn’t an Academy Award, I do know, that it is as equally flattering and wonderful: my award is constant idolatry and attention, from the one and only atlmalcontent.

I am truly happy to know that even though there are people who are insecure and unhappy with themselves, by distracting themselves in worshiping the rest of us, who are trying our best just to be happy and live our lives, they start to feel a little better inside. I am honestly flattered by the whole thing, to be honest, even though in this case, it has proven to be sort of a love/hate crush (he says he hates me, but his constant attention and obsession proves that he really loves me), that has definitely had its ups and downs in the past. But, from now, and through the future, things will be different. Please don’t mistake this post as sarcasm, ladies and gents, this sort of love doesn’t come around everyday (or does it?), and I for one, am extremely flattered that I could stay so constant in someones mind, that they would literally think of me so much and so often, that I am literally always on the tip of their tongue. I am honestly a bit ashamed that I never acknowledged it on this grand of a scale before now. I don’t want to let my fans think that I don’t appreciate their love; especially not this fan in particular.

Now, I know that I am, according to him, an “easy target”, and you know, I guess he is right. I believe that label really applies to anyone that just lives their lives, trying their best to be happy with what they have been given. It is true; we will always be easy targets to those whose lives are driven by the quest to focus solely on finding what they deem “wrong”, “beneath them”, and somehow “messed up” in the world. Sadly, this continual quest on which they travel, is merely a distraction from what they are ashamed of within themselves, and echoes the true grip their insecurities have on their lives. It is important for this type of person to continually belittle those of us that they deem “easy targets”, because it distracts them, even if it is only for a moment, from the daily misery that they suffer from.

What I feel that I have neglected to truly acknowledge in the past, is how important we easy targets are to these types of people, and how grateful I am, that I can provide some joy and comfort to at least one of them. I, for one, am glad that I can be that light in someones life, that they can turn to, make fun of, and somehow feel better for a moment. I am honestly honored and elated that, by trying to belittle me, poke fun of my opinions and silliness, and through constant and desperate attempts to try and tear me down, that someone can truly make themselves feel better. If I gain nothing other than that feeling of warmth and joy in my heart that comes from knowing that these attempts to portray me as less than themselves, are somehow making them feel better about their own internal misery; I have honestly gained all that I could ever ever hope for: I have gained the ability to make someones life a little bit happier, just by being myself. There are very few that can truly know that they have made a difference in someone else’s life, and even if I am only passively making someones world a brighter place, then I am extremely proud to be a part of the journey (even if the attempts to tear me down are sadly misrepresentative of who I really am).

One might think, that if I were truly “whiny, self-absorbed, ill-informed, materialistic[,] and uncultured” (as atlmalcontent, says that I am), the very person that believed these things to be true about me, wouldn’t bother with paying so much attention to me. But, it has become clear to me, now more than ever, that it is his belief that I am what he says that I am, and that this is the reason he continues to fixate on me. I think that by trying to characterize me as these things, he somehow feels better about who he is, or perhaps more importantly(?), who he is not. By convincing himself that I am what he says, and that I am somehow beneath him, he becomes (even if falsely) elevated to a place where he can feel better about himself. Knowing that this is why he tries to tear me down with constant misrepresentations, allows me gain a new perspective, and to truly appreciate, these attempts to bring some joy into his life. I am honored that I can be the one to provide that joy for him, and, even it is if only briefly, relieve him from some of his internal misery and crippling insecurity.

I am glad to know that anything and everything that I can say or do, as well as the simple fact that I am who I am, causes one to become fixated on the need to bring me (and others like me) down; even if it is only an effort to make themselves feel better. I am honestly honored and deeply touched, that I could continually bring this sort of positive energy into one’s life.

And it is this knowledge, that compels me to say thank you, atlmalcontent, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for giving me such a meaningful purpose, by bringing true moments of happiness to those like you.

I am literally grinning from ear to ear this morning from all of the love that you, atlmalcontent, continually bestow upon me. I am truly flattered, and that is why I wanted to write this little thank you post to you, my one-derful, devoted fan. Thank you again, buddy! I hope that you have an amazing day, a truly glorious weekend, and an amazing year; because you deserve it. I really mean that, I want you to be happy. I know what it is like to be plagued with insecurity and self hate, and if I can make you feel better about your own, just knowing that makes me feel good. I promise that I will do my best to bring you more “stupid” writing, and more “hilariously uncultured” quips for you to flock to, in your attempts to bring me down for your own distraction and well being. We all want to be happy, and if I can be a part of making you feel better about yourself, I am deeply honored, and want to do everything I can in making the world a better place for those like you. Luckily, all that is required of me, is my presence. Here’s to joy!

but what about what I need?

… what about me?

That’s what Effie White asks of her friends in Dreamgirls, when they ask her to sacrifice for the betterment of the whole group. I have been having the same questions run through my brain lately, with regards to friends, family, acceptance, etc, and I have to say, I think that while Effie does have a point, I realize that the group has an equally valid point, as well. Effie needs her needs met, and she feels that they aren’t being seen by those in the group. Meanwhile, the group also needs their needs met, and in order for that to happen, Effie has to give in. This doesn’t make Effie selfish or a bad person, it just illustrates that in many cases, we don’t understand the dynamics of our feelings. She also illustrates that she is truly considerate, because she does bend. (well, until she breaks, but that is Dreamgirls… we are talking about me now)

I have recently taken some extensive time to evaluate what I need, and how I go about meeting those needs. I have been asking myself the above questions, and I feel like I haven’t given enough consideration to what the “group” needs. I have made the same mistake as Effie, by worrying more about my own needs, and not realizing, that my needs can be met, even if not in the way that I had expected. Additionally, and most importantly, I am ultimately in charge of meeting my own needs.

Fact of the matter is, through my reflection and examination of my current situation and feelings about friends, family, etc, I have realized that first and foremost, it is up to me to make things happen. Instead of saying, “what about me” to someone else, I need to say it to myself. I need to then realize what they have on their plate, and hopefully, we can come to some sort of middle ground. And if not, I need to realize that in the end, it is always up to me to make myself happy. It is always up to me to make myself feel good about myself; and that should be my focus.

I have got to stop seeking approval for things that need no approval. Additionally, I MUST stop seeking approval for that which has been approved of. I have got to stop worrying about what goes on in ways that I don’t understand, especially in cases when they don’t necessarily meet my needs. I realize that some of those people that I question, really do want to work with me. They really do want what’s best for the “group”, which definitely includes me. They want me to be happy, but they too realize, that the only person that can make them happy, is themselves; so they expect me to realize that, and adjust as necessary. Until now, I admit that I have been ignorantly guilty of not doing that as much as I should. I want to do better.

Given my recent introspective thought, and time spent examining how I handle things, feelings, and actions, I hope that I have reached a new place where I can start to ask myself “but what about me?”, as opposed to displacing that onto the “group”. I hope that from here on out, I can realize that it is up to me to make myself happy, and instead of questioning things too much, over-analyzing things that shouldn’t be analyzed at all, and continually seeking approval for that which has been previously approved of, I can focus more on making myself happy. I know that ultimately, these are distractions that keep me from being happy, and I inadvertently find myself doing them to people over and over again, not out of malicious intent, but out of vicious coping mechanisms that were built to deal with my childhood.

I hope that I can change… but it is going to be more than a retrospective thought process. This is going to take some time. So, Dreamgirls, please bear with me. I want what’s best for us, and I don’t want to give up on us. Know that I really care, and I am working on it. Epiphany can be a powerful thing; as it has proven to recently be. So, know that I am trying. As Effie says later in the film, “I am changing. Trying every way I can. I am changing. I’ll be better than I am.”

And you know what, I am changing. And I will be better than I am.

controlling chaos: the paintings

In case you were curious, here they are:
controlling chaos (blue)controlling chaos (red)
They look a little different in real life, but the color was sort of funky since it is the afternoon. You still get the idea. They should be up on the paintings page soon.

Hope you like them! I know I do!!! FYI, they are meant to hang beside each other, but the images from flickr are a little too big for that, and I am too lazy to upload them to my server. Maybe I will change it tomorrow to fix it, but maybe I won’t. Either way, here they are.

mismanaged monday meandering

Alliteration, bitch, WHAT!?

So yeah, lots in my head today. Here we go.

  • I am still sort of reeling from the news that my friend is positive. He hasn’t told me, but I want to talk to him. Not sure of how to do that without seeming totally conspicuous. Perhaps I will use another friend as a contact. We’ll have to see where this goes.
  • I am not attracted to Ray Lamontagne at all (way too shaggy), but I definitely love him. His music is awesome. I am seriously all, Damien Rice who(?) now. HA!
  • I can’t believe that this article was written recently. Seriously, a checklist to see if your husband is gay? So basically, if your husband hates gay people, or, if he likes them and surround himself with gay people, he must be gay. Well, that is pretty much everyone, the gay haters, and the gay supporters; we must all be gay! WTF? I would like to believe that times are becoming more progressive, but people still holding these antiquated views of homosexuality really show that we have a long uphill battle ahead. Now, while I am sure that it is very difficult for a woman to discover that she is married to a gay man, I don’t like that the gay men are painted as some sort of predatory manipulator that is trying to take advantage of the marriage situation, just to make himself feel better (without regard for his wife’s feelings). That is just BS, and we all know it (at least, we should). Being gay is hard, and admitting it and living it is even harder; but getting married because you aren’t okay with your homosexuality isn’t some sort of manipulation game you are playing with, it is obviously way more complex than that. I just can’t believe that there is a checklist that reinforces all of those stupid stereotypes. Ugh, I would like to think that we are normalizing homosexuality, but things like this are just creating more stigma. Bleck.
  • I really don’t know how I feel about this. I mean, it is good that Barbara Walters is bring attention to something that really goes unnoticed (that is, until someone is beaten to death because they are transgendered) and something that is utterly shunned, but I don’t know what the impact on these kids will be. First of all, a HUGE kudos to the parents who support their children; I hate those so-called Christians that throw their children out because they didn’t come out exactly like “God made them”, i.e. “normal”. At least there are parents who are supporting their children. I guess my concern, is that exposure as transsexual really does put them at risk for those nutsos that really would want to beat them to death for who they are. I just have hope that people can change, you know? I just want the world to be more tolerant; is that so much to ask? Until the answer to that question is a resounding ‘no’, I will be concerned for people that deal with situations like being transgendered, and even for those that have the unfortunate circumstance of being gay in a very homophobic area. Be careful!
  • I painted two paintings last night. I think that it is definitely one of the first times I have painted something, and was very pleased with the initial results. It came out exactly as I imagined, and I haven’t second guessed the project at all. I am kind of floored with my lack of criticism, to be quite honest. I will put some pictures up, hopefully this afternoon. I can’t wait to hang them up!! It also reminds me of my utter wish that I could do creative things for a living… but alas, I do live in the real world, not the dream world where I get to do things I enjoy for a living…
  • Finally, a HUGE WTF for this story. I mean seriously… not one spider, but TWO SPIDERS were living in this kid’s ear. That freaks me the fuck out. My grandma was just telling me the other day that she cleaned out her boyfriend’s ears, and got a pea-sized amount of wax out (EW!) because he NEVER cleans them. WTF?! I am very weird about stuff in my ear, and I am just shivering thinking about a spider being in there. Yikes!

Yeah, so um, yeah. That’s what’s going on with me right now. How about you?

trees, HD, and our amazing planet

Last night, I found myself thumbing through the DVR trying to find stuff to watch, and I decided to watch an episode from the series “planet earth”, which is an HD series looking at the amazing spectacle that is our planet. I don’t usually watch those nature shows (even though they are extremely interesting), but when they are in HD, it is a must see; it is seriously and impressive sight to behold. The program I watched focused on forests, and I found myself captivated by the immense presence trees have in this world. It was amazing to me that most of the trees in the world live in the taiga and replenish most of the oxygen in the world. The taiga has more trees than all of the tropical rainforests combined. Wow. In fact, there were tons of things about trees and the environment that I learned that I had never heard before. The series takes you to places that most humans will never go; and to places where we may have never actually been. Amazing. It makes you realize just how large and amazing this planet truly is.

During the episode, they went on to talk about old trees, large trees, strange trees, etc, and I have to say, that I was fascinated. The oldest and largest trees in the world are right here in North America. The largest is a redwood tree called the General Sherman; which is the largest known organism in the world. Just saying that seems so amazing to me, something so large and amazing not only exists, but has done so for thousands of years. The oldest tree, named Methuselah, is a bristlecone pine tree, and is estimated to be over 4800 years old. That tree was alive a good 2500+ years before Christ. It was alive before the pyramids were built. And it is still alive today (just for reference, and because pictures are pretty, that’s a bristlecone pine pictured to the left… image from the internets, not me). That tree is a true testament of the amazing things this planet holds. It also represents the need for us to learn about our planet, and do everything we can to protect it. I was ultimately humbled by the program, and I am going to do my best to watch the rest of the series. I love learning new things, and doing it in HD is definitely a great way to do it. I highly recommend you see this series; it is amazing what we don’t know about the very world we live in, isn’t it?

Also, they are putting in the sewer connection today. I was awakened early this morning by a man pounding loudly on our back door. Our BACK door. I freaked a little, because I didn’t know he was coming, and if he is at the back door, that means he is inside our privacy fence, which stays locked. WTF?! So yeah, after I calmed down about him being in the back yard, I talk with him briefly about what they are going to do, and all I can say, is that I am SO GLAD James is out of town, because they will be digging a HUGE trench right through the middle of the back yard. This will effectively kill most of his prized grass… They are supposed to re-sod, though, so I hope they do that before he gets back. I can’t handle that melt down, because this is stressful for me too. I am just glad we don’t have to pay for anything. I hope that they are finished soon too, because they have to take part of the fence off, which means the back yard isn’t the enclosed dog area that we need anymore. I just need to take a few deep breaths… Ahhh.

Other than that, just enjoying a quiet Friday, and hoping that this weekend is fun filled. Hope everyone else is having an interesting day. Now I am going to upload some photos to flickr!

what does idol REALLY give back?

Last night, I went over to my buddy John’s to watch the spectacle that was “Idol Gives Back”, a charity event where every celebrity they could muster showed up in support of “raising awareness” for people in need. The focus, was raising money to give to kids in Africa, as well as those still in need here in America (did someone say Katrina?). While I honestly want to believe that their hearts were in the right place, this absurd spectacle of “giving back” just made me angrier and angrier as the show wore on. Basically, they showed clip after clip of celebrities going to Africa, walking through the ghettos, and showing these poor unfortunate souls (Ursula!) suffering and dying in the slums.

Now, I am all for charity. In fact, I am all for the raising of awareness. I am all for giving to these people, because they need us. BUT, I am not okay with this dog and pony show parading these kids around in this manner. For the first hour of the program, they didn’t even say AIDS. Now, I understand that the “general” public doesn’t want to hear about the reality of AIDS in Africa, but the fact is, it is real. It isn’t going to go away if you throw a few million dollars at it. To say that it will enrich lives and make things all better is a lie, and that is what is wrong with what happened last night. Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest sitting in a one roomed house with a boy of twelve telling him to “just let it out” because he was sad that his parents were both dead was sickening. To top it off, they didn’t even address the fact that this kid’s parents likely died as a result of AIDS.

I truly want to believe that all of these celebrities give tons of money to help rid the world of poverty. I really want to believe that American Idol’s true motive behind this was nothing other than philanthropic; but it wasn’t. Even Ryan Seacrest said it, and said it well, “PART of the proceeds will go to charity”. If they were serious about helping these people in need, then all of it would go to charity. The POINT of the event was to raise money for charity, so where is the other PART going?

Additionally, if I see one more fucking celebrity “slumming” it up in Africa, surrounded by little AIDS infected orphans, saying how the antiretroviral drugs will save their lives and allow them to live happier and healthier lives, I will throw something at the fucking TV. Yes, Madonna, Bono, all of you, I am talking to YOU. Just because you put on a ragged t-shirt, go make-up-less on TV, and talk about how our $1 donation will “save lives”, doesn’t mean that it will. What it does mean, is that you are even further out of touch with reality than I would have ever believed possible. When you get on your private jet to fly home to your 15,000 square foot home, think about this: The only thing that will truly save these children is a continuous stream of money and support that doesn’t show up and then disappear. Spectacles like this merely shine a light on a problem that has been around for decades, and once that light goes out, and the show ends, the focus again dims, and the problem continues to get worse.

If they really wanted to do something lasting, do something good, and do something for these people, this would not be an “awareness” raising event; it would be a daily practice. These celebrities have more money than anyone else, and they have the gall to stand there and ask people to give and give and give some more. I think that we should all give, and I know that many of them do as well, but ask yourself; isn’t a bit hypocritical to live in your mansions on the top of the hill, and point out to the middle and lower class the plight of poverty throughout the world? Do you even know what it means to live paycheck to paycheck?

I would love for every problem in the world to be solved by a night of seeing Josh Groban surrounded by African children, and people calling in to donate money, PART of which will be given to charity. But over simplifying their problems by saying things like, “all they need is a $10 net to stop malaria”, and “if they could just get the antiretroviral HIV drugs, then their lives would be great” is disturbingly misleading. If you really want to do some good, focus on getting that money, ALL of it, to these people, and find a way to make sure that the focus does not wane; otherwise, you have done it in vain. The only way to stop AIDS is to talk about it and maintain a focus on it EVERYDAY. Events like this are a flash in the pan, and in the long run do practically nothing for the people suffering. This seriously frustrates the shit out of me.

</end rant>

post concert post: Aqualung and Sara Bareilles

Based on the two previous photo posts, I am sure you got the idea; I saw Sara Bareilles and Aqualung in concert Monday night. I took lots of pictures. I had a lot of fun.

They were both magnificent. I got to meet both of them, and had my picture taken with both Sara and Matt (from Aqualung). Needless to say, it was sort of surreal, because I got a little fan-struck later in the night, which was definitely due to those blue motorcycles. I didn’t say anything that stupid, but I did ask Sara to redo a photo because the one I took with her initially, I had fat face. She laughed and obliged. To Matt, I managed to look like an idiot, because the first thing I said to him was, “I’ve never heard of you before tonight”. Wow. Nice one, duane. I followed it up with, “but I am totally going to get your CD tomorrow!”. Good save, eh? I did manage to get his new one, and it is quite fabulous. I am glad to have discovered Aqualung! Rock!

Oh well, no real harm done, I guess. If you want to see the MANY photos of the night, check out my flickr page. I had a lot of fun taking them, and not so much fun editing them. Thanks again to Barry and Rebekah for inviting me along, and a big thanks to Doug for hooking me up with photo creds! Now if I can only have future opportunities to take concert photos, get good enough at it to do it more, and get paid… Now, THAT would rock!

Also, just so you know, if you haven’t heard of Sara Bareilles before now, you need to catch up. She is amazing. Words can’t describe how awesome she is. Her CD is coming out soon, and I have been eagerly awaiting its release for nearly 2 years. And I will get it the day it comes out. To get a taste of her sound, make sure you go and buy her EP on iTunes… It is only $2, and it will be the best $2 you ever spent on music. She is flawless, and I hope that she becomes the big ass star she deserves to be. This woman is the true epitome of talent. I heart you Sara B!!

On a different note, is it me, or is there a big hush over the blogosphere? I mean, it doesn’t seem like there is much going on, and there certainly isn’t any conversation going on over in my neck of the woods. No biggie, just noticed it, that’s all. Hope everyone is well, and hope y’all come back soon…

Rove vs. Crow and some music stuff to smooth out the stink

Wow. I knew that Rove was an ass, but it is pretty interesting that he is such an ass in such a public way. Apparently, Sheryl Crow and Laurie David (the producer of An Inconvenient Truth) were at a dinner with Rove, and tried to talk with him about global warming. Rather than just have a talk with them, he got very defensive, and ended up telling them that he didn’t have to talk to them, because he didn’t work for them; he worked for the American people. To which Crow responded, “we ARE the American people”. Whoa. Harsh.

That just begs to question Rove’s, and frankly most of the top dogs of this administration, motives in what they do. If they don’t really think of some people as Americans because of the fact that they have popular positions in society, and have a voice to get out opinions that differ from the administration’s, then I wonder if they have anyones interest’s (other than their own, of course) in mind when they make decisions. I mean, if he gets this huffy over global warming (which apparently, he said that China isn’t doing anything, so neither should we), then one must speculate that he would act similarly to a current, more threatening, topic, right? That just bothers me to know that a representative of our government, especially one so high and influential, is unwilling to at least listen to what the American public has to say. Not only that, he gets belligerent and mean about the whole thing.

I think that it is a testament of his character that he is so nasty to people, especially in such a way that he is assured to get bad press from it; but yet, he does it anyway. Lots of people think that Rove is the devil, perhaps he is just more apt to show it to the rest of us, now. I can hope that he really isn’t this closed off to listening to the opinions and requests of the American people, but it appears to be another example of the “head in the sand” mentality that our government continues to portray. I just wish that the Bush administration would actually listen to what we think; this is supposed to be a democracy, right? Well, we have some say!! Don’t shoo us away!

Now, that story left a bad taste in my mouth, so I want to rinse it away with something sweet and refreshing. I have been listening to this magnificent group called Melee for the past several days, and with each listen, I love the CD even more. The lead’s voice does remind me a little of the lead singer of Snow Patrol, but they definitely have more of a Maroon 5 type of pop to their music. I really like every song on the CD, and look forward to enjoying it more and more.

Also, which is totally random, but totally awesome at the same time, I was asked to go see Aqualung by my good friends Barry and Rebekah tonight. I was all, “sure, that sounds fun”, mostly like “eh”, but only because I haven’t heard anything by Aqualung. But, once I found out that Sara Bareilles is opening, I got down right giddy. I LOVE her. I have seen her before, and I gushed about her then. She is amazing, and I can’t wait to see her tonight!!! Also (this is the random part… sorry for the delay), a very nice guy on flickr commented on one of my Mat Kearney photos, and a back and forth comment stream discovered that he is a concert photographer, and he is going to try and hook me up with a photo pass for the show tonight!(!!!!!!!!!!!) Um, wha? I really hope that it comes through, because that would be amazing. Keep your fingers crossed, and if I do get this amazing pass, I will have LOTS of pictures to boast about in the coming days. Stay tuned! Wish me luck!!!!