Category: hmm interesting

"pointless", blog on blog, hmm interesting, the catch-all-egory

things that make life easier; maybe TOO easy?

by  •  • 2 Comments

I have been using Netvibes for as long as I can remember. Before that, I used Bloglines, which also kept my feeds all nice and ordered, but I switched because I lost interest in Bloglines for whatever reason. Well, this morning, I “upgraded” to the “new” Netvibes, and I must say, that it sure is pretty. In fact, it makes it a very useful and beautiful tool to take my internet browsing to the next level, right?

Well, I want to say yes, but I somehow feel like it makes things too easy. When I have everything tabbed, linked, and all of my feeds right there for me, it only takes a couple of minutes to go through my whole internet linkage, and then I am bored again. I also notice that I don’t read as many blogs because of feeds… sometimes I will start reading, and then stop, or I will read it, but never comment, because the feed has made things too easy for me. It has digested everything, put it on the plate, and even fed it too me; all without any work from me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am glad that I have this tool at my fingertips and for use at my disposal, but I can’t help but feel that the convenience eventually leads to my boredom with the internets. Does anyone else feel like this (if you use a feed reader)? How do you propose that I remedy this feeling? It isn’t really that big of a deal, but it is something that I think about a lot, because as I mentioned, I inevitably get bored, and then start wondering “all right… what next?”.

Maybe I just bored too easily. Who knows. Either way, that’s what I am thinking about today, so there it is.

all about me, hmm interesting, near and dear, the catch-all-egory, tragic

too close for comfort

by  •  • 6 Comments

So they have released a “final report” on the path of the tornado… and it ended literally 400 or so feet from our house. Wow. I mean, it is just surreal, because on the street where it ended (which you can literally throw a rock at from my back porch), the damage is way worse than on our street. I am extremely thankful that it stopped when it did. I honestly can’t believe that it got so close!! Who knows what would have happened with that massive tree that took out our fence if the storm would have kept going! The thought alone is just pounding in my brain this morning.

I can’t imagine what Sydney must have been thinking as it came through, because we weren’t even at home. Poor little guy!! I am honestly glad that we weren’t home; I think that it would have been very, very scary to hear all of the madness. Again, I am just incredibly glad, and I feel amazingly lucky, that it ended where it did… 400 more feet and things may have ended very differently for us!

On a completely different topic, I was driving on the freeway recently, and I saw a man driving with one hand holding his cell phone to his ear, and the other hand plugging his other ear so that he could hear. He was driving on 85 with no hands. NO HANDS! Where are the fucking police to pull over people like this?? Every time I drive down the freeway, I have to constantly adjust my speed and I have to be on constant alert for freaks around me, because cell-phone-talkers are constantly slamming on brakes, and drifting into and out of your lane. Hey police… POLICE the freeway and stop these dangerous freaks! It isn’t normal to have a major wreck on every major freeway in Atlanta every day. Pass a law or something, but this madness has to stop!

all about me, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, public health

maybe mine aren’t working (?)

by  •  • 5 Comments

I have talked about my continual battle with depression on this blog before, and today, I saw something that I felt compelled to discuss. First of all, I should mention, in case it isn’t “known”, that I take a SSRI for my depression. I have for a long time, and often times, I wonder if it even works, because I still find that I go through bouts of moderate to severe depression. Well, after reading this, I can’t help but wonder if the medication is actually “treating” the depression.

In the article, they discuss a study that was done to compare the “clinical effectiveness” of several SSRIs (mine is listed), in order to see if the benefit of the drug was more than a simple placebo. What’s interesting, is that they found that across the board for those drugs that they looked it, it wasn’t (except in cases of extreme depression). This makes me wonder about the drug that I take every morning to “prevent” my depression; especially since, as I mentioned, it hasn’t actually gone away at any time during the course of my “treatment”.

I am not saying that I don’t believe the drugs have any benefit. Even the placebo effect is proven to have a benefit, and that may account for some of these findings. However, I do think that it is easy to wonder, that if you take drugs to help with a problem, and the problem doesn’t seem to want to go away, then perhaps those drugs aren’t working for you. The article also mentioned that trying therapy first would probably be a new recommendation; but I did that, and still ended up taking medication, a medication that I am now even more curious about.

I know that the medication must have some benefits. I don’t have anxiety as intense as I did before I took (at least I don’t think that I do). I also know (through the magic of therapy), that my depression is more likely than not, tied to my anxiety. So, if the medication is working on the anxiety, but it doesn’t have an effect on the depression, what does that mean? Should I be taking a different class of medication to deal with the depression as well? Or, am I “better” than I was before, and I just don’t know it? Maybe the drugs are working, and I just don’t know the difference because I have been taking them so long? I find myself riddled with questions right now.

This is something that I think might be worth exploring further. I may make a doctor’s appointment to find out more about what may or may not be a better option for me.

One issues I do have, is that the article goes so far as to say that the medications “don’t work”, citing it is below clinical significance. That is to say, that just because it wasn’t statistically significant, they have proven that it doesn’t work; which really doesn’t make sense, if it did work on the minority of those “not-statistically-significant-so-forget-them” patients. This is where the cynic about clinical research in me steps in, because I always question its reliance on numbers, and a lack of perspective on the individual that may benefit… In the case of a drug that MAY benefit some that has very few side effects (for adults), why would they declare that it simply doesn’t work, just because it doesn’t work more often than not? Additionally, if it doesn’t work most of the time, why have they waited until now to tell people that are taking it?

What’s your take on this? If you take one of these medications, is this going to effect your future treatment? Does it concern you that your medication may not be doing what you need it to? What do you think?

all about me, blog on blog, hmm interesting, hotness, is it just me?, near and dear, show the love

just like on tv

by  •  • 9 Comments

I have been sitting here this morning, looking through some of the journals and blogs that I regularly follow, and spending time looking through many of those same people’s flickr collections, and I feel like I am watching my favorite program on television. I feel like I am seeing their interesting lives, and I find myself always wanting to know more.

A few of these people have a captivating quality to them, that I would say equates to me having “crushes” on them. It is like your favorite actor/actress that you would totally get with if you had the chance; only it isn’t as palpable as that. It is much more innocent and vague, poignantly less sexual, and often times, more interest driven. Handsome and attractive? Yes, they are, but that is not all that I like about them… there is so much more going on, and a lot of it, I don’t even know about; which is part of the thrill.

They are strangers, they are people that exist inside this little box that I look at day in and day out, and I don’t really know them at all. All I know is what I have seen, that which they choose to share, and I eagerly await new content and evidence that my favorite characters are doing well, and having a great life. I benefit from seeing that they have posted new pictures, or have uploaded new content; I want to know them, even though I really can’t on any level other than “through the internet”. Maybe someday? Who knows, but right now, this is fulfilling enough.

I often wonder, that if I have this type of relationship with the characters that I follow, does anyone follow me? If so, what is it about me that makes them keep coming back for more? Is it what draws me to them, the attraction, the interest, a fascination, and a captivation with life and how it is sometimes so different than my own?

Perhaps it is the anthropologist in me that I constantly seeking more and more, and who enjoys, and is so fulfilled by watching the world around him. More intensely, in this case, watching those in that little box that sits on my desktop, finding pictures, words, instances, and little bits of evidence to suggest that my favorite characters are doing well, and are keeping me company in the little way that they don’t even know that they are. Yes, it truly is intriguing to me what you have to say, and every time you post some pictures, I look forward to seeing how you are doing. I enjoy our time together, and look forward to more.

all about me, happenings, hmm interesting, is it just me?, mixed media, music musings, politics, wtf?!

we regret that we must now interupt your regularly scheduled blogpost…

by  •  • 7 Comments

For whatever reason, I have been “in it” again lately.

I actually stayed home sick from work yesterday, and slept until 5:30pm. It still blows my mind that I could sleep all night and all day. I feel like Rip Van Winkle, without the silly long beard. I feel better today, and I am glad that I took the sick time… but it is definitely reflective of how I feel lately.

I am fed up with my classes. My statistics professor apparently would rather trick us, rather than actually quiz us on what we are studying. That is the only explanation that I have for her behavior, and method of asking questions on information that is not covered. Additionally, my absent anatomy teacher is frustrating, but not something I am really complaining about… less fuss if you ask me. I just don’t want trickery on tests; which would be my complaint. Overall, my first semester back in college has been a weird one. It is going to be a long road. I have already registered for next semester, and I hope to god it is much better than this one was.

Speaking of God… apparently, praying for rain the night before the weather service calls for rain makes it rain. Cool. Perhaps I shall pray for the sky to be blue tomorrow, or for air to have oxygen in it. Maybe that’s how we should do all government things… just pray for what we already know is going to happen, and then be like, “See! God is listening! Pray some more, and everything will be right as rain!”. Gah… what a douche you are, Sonny. It is just frustrating that people like him have so much money and power.

Other than the rain, I would like to thank God for my ipod, and just music in general, because without it, I would truly be lost. That, and the fact that my new DVD player plays region 2 DVDs… I am loving Spaced so much right now. Also, I am really looking forward to my 31 days of music in December. I am really enjoying getting my 31 CDs ready for the list, and I hope that everyone will find at least something to enjoy.

Hope you are all well out there in blogland… I’ll see you tomorrow for your 5SF. Take care!

civil rights, get involved, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

some wins, a major worry, and a lack of perspective (yet again)

by  •  • 15 Comments

I want to high-five Dennis Kucinich; it does take balls to put forward something like the impeachment of Cheney (especially when we have been calling for it for so long). While it may not actually happen (boo!), I hope that it does; and I won’t forget that Dennis is the guy that got the issue actually going, which is a welcome sign that there are some balls somewhere in the house of Dem.

ENDA passed; which is a great step forward in the protection against being fired simply for being gay or lesbian. I hope that this signals more good things in store for the equalization of rights for all of us. No one should be able to be fired because their boss is a bigot, and now, it seems like they are a little safer. Bravo.

I blogged about it before, but please, don’t forget that there is a gay youth in serious danger of being hanged for being gay in Iran. This cannot happen. I am glad to see that the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission is at least paying some attention now. This is a chilling reminder that gays and lesbians are NOT free in this world, and if one of us is at risk of being murdered because of who we are, we are all at risk. It cannot be allowed to happen, and Iran must not be allowed to conduct serious acts of murder and violence against any human. I certainly feel for this boy and his family. By keeping this topic in the news, we are keeping Iran under the microscope, and hopefully, it will lead to a stay of execution indefinitely.

Finally, I was amused when I read that this is what Bush had to say about the veto override the Senate exercised in the funding of projects to rebuild the areas affected by hurricane Katrina:

“American taxpayers should not be asked to support a pork-barrel system of federal authorization and funding where a project’s merit is an afterthought,” he said.

Wait, WHAT? All of a sudden, Mr. Bush is concerned what WE taxpayers are concerned with when it comes to government spending? Uh, Mr. Bush, you can’t have a blank check for your war on the middle east, and then get all pissy when we want money to rebuild parts of our own nation; it just shows how out of touch with the real situation he really is. Someone, please get this man a large does of perspective; stat. I love how it was “an afterthought”… uh, someone really needs to get him up to speed as to what is going on in the world right now; the man clearly has no idea.

Other than that… I am sure that there is a lot more SHIT going on in the world that is scary and evil, but it almost seems too overwhelming to deal with it all, doesn’t it? I mean, just look at the CRAPPER that the economy is in… we are seriously inching towards being TOTALLY fucked instead of just being fucked. When will the great America turn things around for herself? I just hope that we can.

civil rights, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

remember, remember…

by  •  • 11 Comments

The fifth of November,
the gunpowder, treason, and plot,
I know of no reason
why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot…

The plot of Guy Fawkes is a good reminder that dissent may truly be the most ambitious, yet patriotic form of patriotism (which is paraphrasing the often thought to be Thomas Jefferson, but it actually wasn’t (?), quote). I believe, now more than ever, that it is imperative, given the circumstances of this country, this world, this existence, that we stand up and question what is being done. Things are out of control, and we can’t look the other way any longer.

We can’t let there be a time when recalling the events of this day include a time when no one stood up when they came for the others, and then, inevitably they finally came for us, and no one was left to stand up for us. All accounts of the events in the news indicate that in more ways than one, things are going from bad to worse, and I can’t help but think, “does it have to happen?”. Do we have to just follow? Why aren’t our representatives doing something about this? How bad does it have to get before we make it stop?

Remembering the bravery that it takes to stand up to the government isn’t enough, but it seems that it is all that there is right now. I hope that changes soon. I hope that our words and our actions can bring some accountability to where there is none. I hope that our pressure on our government can shed light on the theft that is occurring right before our eyes. I hope that we won’t be the ones that suffer for the blood money that those at the top are raking in.

This really makes me think; where is V when you need him? I think that I will be watching V for Vendetta tonight… and hoping for some bravery to stand against our ever-increasingly-oppressive government. Want more? Check out this remembering article.

civil rights, get over it!, hmm interesting, is it just me?, politics, public health, that is so gay, venting, well?, wtf?!

why is gay marriage an issue?

by  •  • 16 Comments

I keep hearing all of this stuff about trying to find each presidential candidate’s position on gay marriage, and I have ask… why is gay marriage an issue that should be the concern of a president? Seriously? The issue is not gay marriage; it is civil rights. Marriage is the word that the use to describe the religious procedure of getting bound to another person for life. The only thing that could make it an issue, is that it is currently recognized by the government as a legal union, and there are privileges that come with its status. However, it is not the issue, and I don’t get why we are so concerned with that word; marriage.

I would happily take a civil union any day; so long as it afforded me EQUAL rights. I don’t give two shits about calling my partnership a “marriage” vs. calling it a “civil union”; so long as we are treated equally under the law of our government. I personally think that should be more of the focus, as this issue will always be used as more of a wedge than anything, and no person in their right mind is going to go up against the juggernaut that is the Christian church. Also, isn’t there supposed to be a separation of church and state? So again, why not stop calling it “gay marriage” as an issue?

I think that if you get married, good for you; you should also have to file for a civil union, which should be the only union the government officially recognizes. Make it standard for everyone, and make it available for gays and lesbians as well. Keep marriage in the churches, take religion out of the equation, and things can be more acceptable for everyone, right? Perhaps this is too simple of a concept, but it boggles my mind that gay marriage is all anyone ever asks about when it comes to gay and lesbian rights and a presidential candidate. (what about gay civil rights of other people throughout the world? I think that should be a huge concern of ours as well; but that is a more lengthy conversation).

I realized this more fully when I was reading what Obama said, and the “reaction” from some of the gays that he was against gay marriage. We don’t need to fight for religious justification; we need to fight for equality. Sure, the fight for gay marriage is a fight for equality, but it isn’t necessarily the same thing; take religious practice out of the picture officially. These church driven people are NEVER going to give us the “right” to take their “sacred” practice (now with a 50+% failure-rate!) for ourselves, so we should just drop the shit already. I am tired of continually giving it back to them so they can wedge it between what’s really important and this dance that we have been stuck in forever. I am for equality; nothing less, nothing more. Doesn’t that sound like a more fruitful fight?

Unrelated link: This is quite fascinating if it is true; apparently, the first AIDS case was in 1969 in the US. This makes me wonder; why didn’t it spread to the epic proportions that it has today? What was the factor that caused it to spread so rapidly in the 1980s that was different 11 years earlier? If this man was the first documented case of AIDS, how many people had it before him; and who infected him? It really turns the notion of epidemiology on its head, because it really did occur in a seemingly singular incident. Weird.

get involved, hmm interesting, is it just me?, listen up!, the catch-all-egory, well?

end of days?

by  •  • 8 Comments

Seriously though… with fire taking it’s toll on the west coast, and drought taking it’s toll here; things are getting eerily like the end of days…

My thoughts are with all those in the west that are being affected by these fires; I hope that the situation is under control soon. Just looking at this map makes me scared. I hope that everyone gets to safety, and that their homes are okay.

As for our drought situation here, it is really good that it is finally raining. We went up to the lake this weekend, and the last public boat dock for Lake Lanier even had two out of the three lanes shut down. I have to say, I wonder why there isn’t more planning and action taken into account when things like water are threatened for a major area, like Atlanta. I mean, it isn’t like we can actually do without water; and I am not talking about watering lawns and stuff. It really makes you realize how lucky we have it to live in a country that takes things like water for granted… that is, until the real threat of it going away is on the horizon!

I hope we can get this situation under control soon… and that gregarious misuse is punished appropriately!!! Thomas hooks us up with the numbers to call if you see water misuse; we need to save in every way we can, right?

Here’s hoping that we can get all of these crazy “end of days” type situations under control soon!

all about me, get over it!, hmm interesting, is it just me?, tragic, venting, wtf?!

etiquette… not requirement… okay?

by  •  • 12 Comments

Earlier today, I was coming out of the building next to the one that I work, in order to go back over to my office, when I encountered a situation that is normally dictated by etiquette. However, in this case, etiquette was stretched so far, that it broke, which, for whatever reason, tends to be quite common where I work. As such, I was treated like an asshole, when in reality, I did nothing wrong. Someone thought etiquette meant requirement, and voiced her opinion as a result; even though she is sadly mistaken.

Now, let me preface what I am getting ready to say with this: I always hold the door for people when they are close enough to reasonably come in; always. I hold elevators too. I’m a nice guy like that; even though I rarely have the favor of that etiquette being returned to me. It really doesn’t bother me to do it, and as such, I normally do.

Now, back to today’s little incident… When I exited the building, I didn’t hold the door because there was no one around. As such, I just walked out, and even smiled at the girl that I noticed once I was completely outside and about 5 steps away from the door. Instead of smiling back, she said loudly, “Well that’s fine… DON’T hold the door for me.”. Um, excuse me? What the fuck did she just say?!?!

First of all, I thought that basic etiquette implied that I am not required to hold the door, but I that I should, if for no other reason than to be courteous. Second of all, in this particular instance, the woman in question was no where near entering the door when I came out, so for me to have held the door for her, I would have first, had to have seen her (which I couldn’t, because she was far enough away, and to the left of the door, that I couldn’t see her), and second, even if I would have seen her, I would have had to wait for her to walk up to the door, (as I noted, it was about 5 steps outside that I noticed her and nodded appropriately) inconveniencing myself in the name of what I would call severely stretched courtesy… but not requirement.

Again, while I am all for holding the door for people when it is convenient, I think that she was ridiculous in expecting me to hold it for her; and even worse, was a fucking bitch for saying what she did. The weird thing is, that most women that work in my building are like that; which I can say, because there are very few men who will get bitchy if you don’t wait forever to hold the door for them.

I have seen women go so far as to try and quickly jump through a closing door to prevent having to actually touch the physical door, or heaven forbid, hold it open for themselves… all while it shuts on me, who is right behind them. I have also, on MANY occasions, seen women stand in front of a closed door, and give me the look of, “well, aren’t you going to open that for me?”. I also can’t stand when the women that work in my building (who do this WAY more than men, which is why I am picking on the women folks) will stand in front of one of the two doors that you can open, because there is someone coming out of the other, and they are waiting so they won’t have to open the door for themselves. As if these weren’t bad enough, there is even one woman in particular who I happen to see more often than I should, who acts like the doors exceed her physical strength, and as such, I am actually forced to take over the muscling of the door, and open it for her. I just don’t get why these women can’t open a door for themselves, or even hold the door for me; who, has on most occasions, done that very thing for them. Even more, I wonder why I am an asshole when I don’t go out of my way to make every woman-who-works-in-my-building’s life that much more comfortable (even though it inconveniences me); especially when the same common courtesy is RARELY returned to me.

What bugs me about this, is that first of all, this isn’t 1950 anymore, ladies; so you should be able to open a door for yourself, and realize that it is being courteous, and not a requirement, that a man might open it for you. Again, let it be known that I honestly don’t mind holding the door for you, and I will even go out of my way to get the door for anyone most of the time; but when you bitch because I didn’t inconvenience myself to make your entrance into the building an effortless one, please listen up, as I will say this as plainly as I can for you to understand: why not just be a fucking adult and open the fucking door for yourself for a change?. And worse, if you do what that bitch did earlier to day, you should be seriously put in your fucking place, because you are just being an outright bitch, and that goes way beyond any courtesy that you deserved from me in the first place.

If you think that I am being too harsh, realize that I have been entering buildings and opening doors for years for myself, and I am just fine… and you will be too. When I think about these incidents, which usually just result in me rolling my eyes, it makes me want to do what these silly women do. Perhaps I should try standing in front of a closed door, and looking at the person who is walking up behind me in hopes that they will open it for me; or maybe I should jump rapidly through a closing door, only to have it hit me as I barely make it in, all the while it slams in the face of the person behind me; or maybe do my favorite, and act as if the weight of the doors is so massive, that my tiny, frail, child-like arms cannot handle the force required to muscle them open… Maybe, just maybe, that would make me feel a little better about how stupid people act under the guise of the unwritten “rules” of “etiquette” (which, for whatever reason, they believe that I, but not they, are required to follow).

I am pretty sure, though, that it wouldn’t work for me… unlike the women that get by with this shit day in and day out, because I am sure that I would get nasty looks and hateful comments because I am a man, and as such, I am “required” to hold/open/wait for every woman that may want to enter the building. What-the-fuck-ever.

The weird thing, is that my friend Deb, who is just as tall as I am, gets the same thing. Maybe it’s a height thing and not a sex thing? She is obviously a woman, and women do it to her too. Who knows… all I know is that it is time for the sisters to start REALLY doing it for themselves… and realize that I don’t HAVE to get the door for you, I am doing it to be nice. If I don’t do it because I don’t see you, or don’t wait for you because you are far away, be an adult and open the damn door yourself; and save the bitchy comments, okay?

/rant