Category: blog on blog

time and change

So wow, I realize now that things are left a little, well, under-attentive in this realm of my life these days. I rarely read blogs anymore, mostly because of work and life stress, and honestly, the use of facebook and instagram make everything much more single serve, and have changed the way we interact with people into a predominately swipe and like, and scroll-through-life existence; all of which I am guilty of over-utilizing. That being said, overall things are pretty good, I have a good job that I actually life (shock and awe!), I have a husband that I love, and three wonderful dogs that get away with far too much mischief. I spend time with friends regularly, and despite the lack of reporting about these good things, I can’t complain about too much. I do have a bit more anxiety that I would prefer about life, but I assume worrying can be healthy as well, as it does a good job of keeping me from being too carefree.

I do wish that I participated in more things that I enjoy (like this blog) more regularly, because I remember when I used to get more out of it. However, due to time and change, things often fall to wayside, and become burdensome or tedious, which is unfortunate, because they still bring some joy. I would sit here and say that I am going to try harder to blog more consistently, but honestly, I doubt I will, and even if I do, I don’t even know if people really still read these things. Perhaps I should just post this on instagram? HA! Either way, I know that time and change have affected many things in my life, and while I am marching on to 40 in a few weeks (!!!), I guess a little self-reflection here and there is warranted, and likely appropriate, don’t you think?

Regardless, I haven’t forgotten about my own little piece of the internet, and I will be occasionally dusting it off and making sure that it isn’t buried in the back of a drawer somewhere, because it does still matter to me; even if it isn’t on the front burner anymore due to life and stress. Who knows, maybe I’ll blog more about work and my crazy patient interactions; being a nurse practitioner can be quite interesting… Either way, consider this a long-winded checking-in of sorts, and til the next time… I’m still here!

year end… again

So again, I find myself at the end of another year, and I am sitting here asking myself, what has happened with this year? It has flown by. Since I started nursing school, and since being a nurse full time, I find that I need to have way more down time, and time that I spend recovering from the job, mostly because it is so tough. That being said, I am definitely still here, and things are good; in fact, much better right now than before, and I feel that it will keep getting better. Here’s a few things that have happened recently that I probably should have blogged about, but didn’t.


In September, James and I got married in DC. Here’s a lot of photos, and I realize that I need to upload so many more… in time. It was an amazing experience. We have been together for a little over 11 years, and we got married with friends and family, and it was honestly, the best I could have imagined. My parents were there, James’ parents were there, and everything went over without any issues. The wedding itself was short and sweet, which I liked, the reception was amazing, and is something that we can always cherish. There were many great memories, lots of fun, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

A little over a month ago, I decided to take a big chance, and switch jobs (and hospitals). So far, going from the Emergency Department to the ICU has been a bit of a change (unorganized chaos to timely structure), but I can already tell that I am a lot less stressed, and a lot less upset all of the time. I think the pressure of the ungrateful, not-sick-give-me-a-sandwich patients in the ED finally wore me out, and the universe gave me a huge sign that it was time for a change. I am excited about this new opportunity, and I cannot wait until I get more accustomed to my new environment, and feel as comfortable here as I did in the ED. I have already learned a lot, and I know that this was a good move, and I am excited for the new experience.

Lastly, I started grad school for my MSN, which will propel me from RN to FNP. I am getting more into the process, and I am sure that this is going to be a great thing in the long run, but it’s definitely another major undertaking, that I have decided to take on. It seems that I either love school, or love student loan debt, because here I go again… although the outcome will be a major reward, and I know that it will be difficult, but is ultimately a great choice.

All in all, it’s been a busy year, and many changes have taken place; and I expect great things as a result. Here’s to a great (and hopefully even better than 2014) 2015!

Shit

Well, it looks like I broke my blog’s template/theme (just by updating the theme); one that I spent a long time perfecting, and honestly, have NO IDEA how to fix since it’s been so long.

So in the process of trying to fix it, I failed. Miserably. I fucked up the entire site, and for hours, I thought I had lost everything.

This brings perspective.

This brought an idea: new beginning.

So long as my posts and content are still here, the theme, and looks of the blog seem to have been in need of a change, and this was the way my blog let me know that. With that being said, I am making some changes starting today.

Yeesh, what a headache.

thankful

It has occurred to me that this year has been quite the tumultuous one, and while I remain extremely stressed most of the time, I have a lot to be thankful for.

James and I have been together 9 years and counting, and I couldn’t be happier. We keep talking about potentially having a child someday, so who knows, maybe we will be parents in the future?!

While we did lose my dear, sweet Sydney this year, which was the worst day of my life by far, we welcomed Charlie into our lives, and it has been quite an adventure. He is pretty good, but when is bad, he can be pretty bad. Poop and pee monster, for sure! Also, please stop chewing on everything in sight, little man!! I still miss Sydney each and every day, and some days are harder than others, but I am just thankful I was able to have a wonderful almost 8 years with him. I love you Sydney!!

We bought a house this year. It was an ironically called short sale, which took a stressful 4 months to complete. We have the house, we don’t have the house, we have the house, we don’t have the house… ACK! Overall, it worked out, and we rented our house to our friend and real estate agent, but it still doesn’t feel totally real at times. This is the house we always wanted, and getting it seems a little dream like, and I guess it is hard to process.

I have been working as a nurse for a year and half now, and I still find that I am not over nursing school. It was a terrible experience that really tore me down emotionally, physically, and my confidence is having a hard time bouncing back. I do feel like I am more proficient in my profession, and I do take a lot of joy home from my job, but there are days that are so intense and they don’t need to be. It just really wears on me at times. I was talking with a coworker recently when it really dawned on me; I have been through a LOT this year, as well as from the beginning of nursing school until now, so maybe a real vacation is in order in the near future.

Finally, I do have to say, that while my anhedonia is a large part of my lack of blogging and participating in my hobbies, I am somewhat content, and I am thankful for the wonderful things in my life. I have an amazing partner, wonderful dogs that love me, a great house that I am trying to realize is a wonderful home, and excellent friends that I get to spend time with. Overall, there is more to be thankful for that not, and that’s something worth noting.

only 5?

I was looking last night, and I noticed that I have only written 5 posts for this entire year. Whoa. That has to be a new record low. Thing is, I just don’t spend that much time at the computer anymore because of work. I work those insane 12-13 hour shifts, and then I just want to veg out and relax. Days off are about catching up and not doing anything strenuous. So far, it’s been good, but I am pretty stressed at times because of work; being a nurse is a stressful job, and don’t let anyone imply otherwise.

This year, so far, has been pretty decent (at times). We bought a new house, right across the street, which still sort of doesn’t seem real at times. Also, we got a new family member in Charlie; even though we lost our precious Sydney, whom I still miss each and every day. Overall, it’s been a year of new things, and things are pretty good right now.

I also became a Scentsy certified consultant this year, something that I absolutely adore. What is Scentsy you ask? If you want you can check out the website; I started selling the stuff because I love it so much. My house smells amazing!

That’s really about it. I wish I had more time to spend listening to music and catching up, but it seems like this year is flying by at record speed. Work is taxing and always challenging, but can be very rewarding, which is nice. Charlie is a delight, even though is a poop and pee monster who likes to chew on anything he has in his eye line. He and Pickles get along very well, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I just miss my Sydney something terrible. The new house is a lot to take in, and I am so happy we were able to make this move; even though it was a grueling 4 month process to acquire it! Short sale? How ironically titled.

Anywho… I hope you all out there are doing well, know that I am doing my best to be well, well, as well. Here’s to newness, changes, working hard, and reaping the rewards; and getting sleep and listening to more music on days off!! Now… to get back to my day off!

so…

We bought a new house. The house right across the street even! A dear friend is renting our “old” house, and all is going well; that is, if I could get everything in order in the new house and get settled properly.

Charlie the puppy is growing into Charlie the dog quite quickly. He and Pickles are quite the pair; they love each other. It’s great to have a sweet baby, but I still miss my Sydney terribly.

Other than that, not much is different. I work too darn much. I have been hanging out with friends and living; which apparently leaves little time for blogging. I would say that I’ll try to get back into it, but I honestly don’t know how much I could guarantee regularity. Days off are usually used to recuperate from a difficult day or two of being a nurse; which, while it is a difficult and grueling job, it has many great, heartwarming moments (which do help dull the moments that aren’t so great).

Overall, life ain’t so bad… and I guess that’s pretty good, right?

Hope you kids are well as well out there. Back to the grind!

still alive

Yep, I am still breathing. I have been working, and sleeping, and well, working some more. When I’m not doing those things, I am drinking wine, and hanging out with friends, probably. Overall, things are okay.

I have had some tragedy in my life not so long ago; our sweet Sydney died unexpectedly, and I have been trying to find the right way to blog about it, but I haven’t come to that space yet. Soon. We did get a new puppy a few weeks ago too, named Charlie. He’s a handful as well. Like I said, busy with life; no time for blogging it seems.

However…

I will be posting more in the future. I promise. I haven’t forgotten about this blog, and I will be back!

sotd: Robyn – Include Me Out

So yeah, I bet you are wondering (that is if people even still read this poorly updated blog, sorry…) right about now… hey, where’s the year end album countdown? Well, I can assure you of something; it IS coming. I haven’t had time to get it done, because frankly, I work all of the time.

When I’m not working, I am sleeping; this job is one that wears me out majorly, but it is something that I am glad I worked so hard to get into. Being a nurse is incredibly frustrating, tiring, irritating at times, and very, very draining, but it is also really rewarding.

That being said, I am excited about bringing the year end best albums of 2011 to you, but in the mean time, here is a song that I recently rediscovered; it was on Body Talk part 2, but didn’t make the “cut” for the Body Talk album (which was a compilation of the three EPs). This song is incredible! Why didn’t it make the cut, Robyn? Oh well, at least it was on one of the EPs…

Now… stay tuned for the albums of the year… I am going to try and get that up soon!

seems kinda empty around here lately…

Yeah, I notice that I don’t post that much, and that I don’t do nearly enough 5SFs, but to be honest, this new job kinda wears me out; when I have a day off, I don’t get much done, really. Things are going okay with me, however, so no need to fret, that is, if you were for some reason or another.

I am sure, eventually, once I get into more of a groove, I will be able to do more, but right now, sleeping in, and having lazy days off are certainly more of a priority. I hope everyone out there in cyberland is doing well!