Author: duane

Last night, James, John, Andrew and I went to Flat Iron in the EAV for dinner, and chose to sit outside, because those of you that know this place, know it can be rather smoky inside. We found a table near the back of the outside section, and pulled up a few chairs, ordered our food, and got ready to enjoy our dinner.

While we were sitting there, we made comments about the people around us, nothing negative, more along the lines of, “hey, that guy right there is really cute, don’t you think?”, and we made small talk about this, that, and the other. Nothing that was said about the cuteness of anyone around us was said at an audible level where others could pick up what we were saying. We enjoyed ourselves, and our meal was good; but the guy sitting behind James, who was sitting with two other women at the last table (meaning no table was behind their’s) continually chain smoked, and blew the smoke directly at us and our table, even though there was no one on the other side of him. I remarked a few times at how rude of a smoker he was, because most people that smoke have the respect for others to not blog smoke continually in their faces; but this guy lacked that basic curtosey. I never made a remark other than, “what a rude smoker”, and again, only at an audible level necessary to have only my table hear my remarks.

While I did notice that the table seemed to react to most of what we were talking about when we were speaking at normal volume, I didn’t really pay it any mind, because I figured they just had nothing better to do, than listen to our conversation.

Just as we were finishing our meal, the three of them got up to leave, and the two women went first, while the guy stood up to put on his coat. In doing so, he hit James in the head with his arm, and flung his coat right in James’ face. While James let it go, it wouldn’t be the last interaction we would have from this guy. As he walked behind John and Andrew, he leaned in to our table and said loudly, “have a nice night, ladies!”. We all looked at each other, and said, “was he talking to us?”, and when it was quickly decided that he was, we said loudly, “um, what the fuck? What did he just say?”. Upon hearing our retort, he comes quickly back over to our table, leans in and says, “just so you know, you aren’t in a neighborhood where you can just talk shit about people you don’t know. I would be aware of that, if I were you.”. Kind if in awe, we all just looked at each other, and tried to figure out what “shit” we had talked about this guy (other than he was really cute; which went out the window at that point).

What I don’t get, is how this guy felt that us being gay, and talking amongst ourselves in the EAV was the “wrong neighborhood” for “us”. Basically, he was saying that we didn’t belong in that neighborhood because we were gay; and he was angry because apparently, we were talking shit about him. He is right about one thing, we did talk shit about him. He was a fucking asshole for blowing smoke in our faces the entire time we were there, and as such, I repeatedly mentioned that he was a rude smoker. But that was it. If he took offense to the fact that 4 gay men thought he was cute, that is his issue; but the problem, is that he was obviously uncomfortable around us, presumably because we were gay.

I also find it interesting that the EAV, for him, was the “wrong neighborhood” for gay people, espcially on that night, as the brand spanking new lesbian bar was opening one block over, which is just a hop skip and a jump from one of Atlanta’s most popular gay bars, Mary’s.

It was clear, that we were being gay bashed, even if it wasn’t name calling, physical violence, or something worse. The girls at the table next to us were also upset about the exchange, and told us that they were sorry, and that they hated people like that, but we tried to drop it and move on. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, to be honest, and I realized that then, and still believe it now, but even though it was a minor interaction with a homophobe, it really brings back the fact that, to many, we are not welcome because of who we are. People hate us because we are gay, and there isn’t anything that we can do about that. It is nice to have the shield that comes from living in the city, but this proves that even this close to the heart of Atlanta, we can still encounter hate and ridicule because of who we are.

I for one am glad that there was no further altercation, and that it wasn’t any worse; but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because I never expected something so crass at a place like Flat Iron. I also never thought that I would ever be “gay bashed” in the East Atlanta Village, a place that James and I really think of as part of our neighborhood, and home. I honestly hope that this guy doesn’t run into me again, because I would definitely be forced to say something to him again. I just wonder why people like him find it necessary to live in the city (or come to places that are extremely open and accepting like the EAV and Flat Iron), if they are unwilling to be accepting of different cultures, people, and sexualities? I am not going anywhere, buddy, so if you have a problem with gays, I suggest you hightail it up to Cobb county, because that is one place you won’t see many of “our kind”.

The whole experience just makes me realize just how shielded we are by living in the city, and how lucky we have it that we don’t have to be as hidden as those gays that live in smaller, more suburban areas. It also makes me never want to live in a small suburban area ever again.