Author: duane

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I’ve got a little crush…

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YAY! We made it to Friday! I am super happy about this weekend, because I know that next week has a holiday right smack dab in the middle of the week; which always make the weekend seem that much better! Plus, everyone in my office is out on vacation, so that makes things super relaxed around here as well. Very, very nice.

Not too much going on today in duane-land, but I have to confess that I have more than a little crush (I know, misleading, aren’t I?) on Simon Pegg (who is being pulled in the picture by the also very handsome Nick Frost; which came from this great photography site). Not only is Shaun of the Dead one of my all time favorite movies, I have to say, that every time I see him, I just can’t get over how strikingly cute he is. Perhaps it is the nerd lover in me? Either way, we watched the movie Big Nothing last night, and it was quite hilarious. Simon Pegg is in it, hence today’s post… It is definitely one we will be adding to the DVD library. Dark comedies can be so fun, can’t they!? If you enjoy dark comedy, I suggest you check this one out, I liked it.

Other than that, I found out that I have $25 in reward zone cash from Best Buy. How sweet! Money for spending lots of money! I am going to swing by there and pick up something this afternoon… a treat!

Finally, does anyone have advice for selling things on eBay? I have thought about it in the past, and never followed through, but I was looking in my closet this morning at all the clothes that I no longer wear, and thought, hey, I should totally sell those on eBay! Just wanted to see what other people’s experiences were with selling on eBay, before I go barreling forward with my “new business”. HA! I always knew there would be a day those designer jeans would have a new home… perhaps that day will come sooner than expected; and in return, I can get a few extra dollars to boot!

Hope everyone has a great afternoon, and a superb weekend. Rock it!

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maybe a little venting, maybe a little something else

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I know that people love to disagree with my “radical” ideas. I also like to have discussion and debate, even when people infer things that I haven’t said, and say things like, “you are being inconsistent”, even when I am not (again, if I were, you would be able to point it out… yet, that hasn’t happened, not even once). I do like to have intelligent discourse, even when those that attempt to engage me, do so in a less than intelligent way.

But what I don’t care for, and what I won’t do, is apologize or justify what I say or have what I have said. If you don’t like it, fuck off. If you want, comment, read, whatever you want. I don’t have to impress you, and I am not trying to.

There are pricks out there on the internet that are literally obsessed with “making fun” of me, and yet, they still don’t get the fact that I don’t need to impress them either. I have addressed this in the past, and I am just in awe of the pathetic obsession that still burns inside them. It is sickeningly pathetic, actually. Move on already.

I am sick and fucking tired of putting up with bullshit, especially here on my own blog. So, if you have a counter point to something that I have said, state it, and we will discuss. However, if all that you have is “you’re wrong!”, then save it, because that isn’t an argument. It’s nothing. And, it will be treated as such. If you want to represent yourself here as having nothing to contribute, that’s your bag, and feel free to do so; but don’t get mad when I call it nothing, because I will.

What a way to start your day, eh? To see those same old people still talking the same old school-yard bullshit about you, just under the radar, rather than having the nuts to actually bring it. Pathetic. When are you going to grow up? If you haven’t already, chances are, you won’t. Perhaps you don’t have the ability to. Either way, pathetic.

I have taken this shit for far too long; I have been dealing with assholes for as long as I can remember, so I guess time for “fuck off” is long overdue. Now, just try and bring the shit-storm bitches. I’m ready for anything.

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no, really, seriously…

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No apologies necessary. Even though I actually never tried to argue that he was part of the executive branch, and instead, focused on the actions that the democrats were taking to remove his funding he receives under the guise of the executive branch.

But since I did agree, and didn’t feel a need to argue it, I’ll just stick with “told you so”, and we can call it even, okay?

Ahem, yeah.

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do you know your status?

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Your HIV status, that is. Earlier this week, I wrote about how James and I decided to get tested at this past weekend’s Atlanta Pride festival, because it had been far too long since we had tested. Even though we have always tested negative in the past, we thought it was time that we get tested again; just to verify that things were still okay (and they are, we are both negative). We are in a strictly monogamous relationship, however, it still crosses my mind every day that I should KNOW my status, rather than accepting that it is still negative, since that is how I have tested in the past. For one, it is because I work in HIV prevention, but two, it is because I love James, and want us to be healthy and happy in our relationship together. Even though we are monogamous, it is always best to be 100%, rather than 99.9% sure, and he agrees.

I am writing about this today, because today is National HIV Testing day, and I thought it was necessary to challenge each and every one of my readers to go out, get an HIV test, and find out your status, both for you and for your partner(s) sake. You owe it to yourself, and to those that you have sex with, to find out your HIV status, and maintain an active knowledge of that status for both your health, and theirs.

Now, I bet you are thinking, “but duane, I didn’t get tested a pride… where can I go get tested?”. Well, I have great news; there is this great website that let’s you put in your zip code, which generates a list of HIV testing sites that are nearby. It is just that simple: type in your zip code, find where you want to go, and go get tested.

I have said it before, but I will say it again, only you can protect yourself from HIV infection.

But, wait, what if you test negative? Obviously, that is great news for you!! But that doesn’t mean that you can just forget about HIV; you MUST continue using protection, and continue to play it safe. It will literally save your life. CDC estimates that more than 40,000 people in the US alone are infected with HIV. This is just an estimate, because not all of these people are tested each year. If you don’t know your status, chances are, your partner doesn’t know theirs either; don’t let complacency cause you to risk your life.

I hope that everyone out there that sees this post will take the initiative to go out, get tested, and urge others to do the same. The best strategy for combating HIV is prevention. And remember, it isn’t just about knowing your status, it’s what you do with that knowledge; urge others to get tested, protect yourself, and maintain an active knowledge of your status… it could save your, and your partner’s, life.

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absolute power? wait a second…

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I didn’t comment on the fact that Cheney and Bush (with a comment about where they work) believe that they are not required to follow laws, and as such, are not subject to the regulations and sanctions that those laws require; but this is hilarious. Since Cheney doesn’t think that he is a member of the executive branch, they are introducing a bill to limit the funding his office gets from that branch. LOL. Can’t have the paycheck if you don’t work there, buddy.

Additionally, it just really gets my goat that not only are there people still think that the war in Iraq had something to do with 9/11, but the cover ups and perjury that has been going on for the last 6 years is still not seen as real. I just don’t get people. If Cheney and Bush are not held accountable for the crimes that have been committed under the guise of “executive order”, what message does that send to the rest of the world? The people of the world are already tired of our BS, and if we just keep letting the president’s office rape the middle east, we are certainly going to lose some of the fledgling sympathy they have for those of us that don’t agree with what he is doing. I think that, even if it is just a slap on the wrist, and no one is actually removed from office (oh, but how awesome would that be), they should both be impeached. I mean, if you commit a crime, you should have your day in court, right? Why is it then, that the president and the vice president are immune to that? They aren’t, and I am crossing my fingers that someone with the balls to do it is going to step up and make it happen.

We seriously need to ask ourselves what we are gaining by staying in Iraq. Seriously, what do we seek to gain? Are we preventing violence in the Middle East? No, we are causing it to become more concentrated and organized. Are we saving the people of Iraq? No, we caused a civil war, and we are killing them to get them to stop it. Are we helping the people of Iraq, Palestine, Israel, or Iran do anything to better their lives, and enrich their countries? Not that I can tell, because we are making ourselves more and more of a threat each and every day. It becomes clearer and clearer to me each day, that Iran, Iraq, and the other “dangerous” nations in the world aren’t the threat; we are. We are doing to them exactly what we want to prevent them doing to us. It doesn’t change that fact, just because you call it something else, like “helping them rebuild”. Whatever.

While I think that it is important to help prevent violence in the world; when is the time that you actually investigate what your role in that prevention is? When everyone is dead? The whole thing just frustrates me, which is probably why I haven’t said much about it lately.

I can only DREAM of the day that politicians aren’t elected because of their donations and campaign contributions, and as such, we have have a true democratic government that is built by, and for, the people. Until then, none of OUR best interests will ever be in the forefront of anyone’s minds other than our own. That’s enough to make you want to just move somewhere secluded, where you hope you can remain untouched by all of this corruption, greed, and thirst of power. We will be the cause of our own demise, and watching it happen is sickening; especially when we have the ability to stop it.

I guess the greedy really will ruin it for the rest of us that just want to live, breathe, and be happy. Gah.

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pride 2007: recaps and reflections

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perhaps my favorite parade participantAs I stated on Friday, this weekend was the annual Pride festival in Atlanta. Let me start my recap and reflections post about Pride this year by saying, that it was, hands down, the best time I have ever had an any pride before. This year, we got a tent, and set up in the park; which was probably the best decision ever. But more on that in a bit… let’s get started.

First, Saturday morning, James left to go down to the park and set up with everyone, while I remained in bed (I am not a morning person). After setting up, he came home and picked me up, and we were off to the park. I took my camera (as my flickr contacts have already discovered), and started taking shots right when we got there. I didn’t get a lot of good pictures from pride last year because it was rained out, so I definitely wanted to make up for it this year; and I believe I did.

homo sex is sin-sational!I walked around the park with my buddy Josh, along with Daniel and Andrew, and we literally and only made a half of a lap before we were all four soaked with sweat. After seeing the sights for a quick round, we followed Josh back to his place, where some protesters from last year had set up camp. Josh, as he is known pretty well throughout the internets, got back at the protesters last year by “altering” their message; and we were here to capture it this time. I got a great shot of Josh changing their message of hate into something funnier, and something that offered a little bit of relief for the rest of us that hate to see these hate-mongers that parade around throwing the bible in our face. While we were over at his house, we made a mistake, and got into it with one of the protesters, who had brought his two young daughters out in the heat just to damn us to hell. What a prick he turned out to be. Everything that we would ask, he wouldn’t answer, and every time we would say things like “Jesus doesn’t judge”, he would tell us that he did. He was a whack job, as he turned the judgment argument into his personal mission statement, saying that it was he who was to judge. To that, I said that he must be God then, because the Bible says only God can do that. He didn’t like that very much. We also kept asking him if he really believed that he was going to convince anyone using his tactics, to which he would reply that “spreading the word was his mission”. I asked him how often he was out here “spreading the message”, which promptly shut him up about that. He also kept yelling about “accepting Jesus” as the “only way to salvation”, and I told him that I had accepted Jesus a long time ago (I have). What pissed me off, was that he just deflected that, and called me a queer living in sin, and damned me to hell anyway. Maybe he should read a little of that bible he was throwing in my face. When we walked away from him, I told him that I felt sorry for him, because I was certain that he was probably homosexual himself, and that he had to live his life in this horrible manner of self hate and denial. He didn’t say anything else and actually walked away. Hmm…

prideAnyway, back to the festival… We went back to our tent, drank and ate, and enjoyed each other’s company for the rest of the day and into the evening. As we sat in the scorching heat, we did talk about the reasons for pride, and we all agreed that we wished Judy could have held on a few more months, so Stonewall could have possibly happened in late September, and Pride could be held then instead. But, alas, June is when it is, and as such, it is why we were out there celebrating our ability to hold our heads high and come together as a community; showing the world that we are queer, and by saying it out loud, we are demanding that they take notice. It was a fun day.

donation flagSunday, we got out a little earlier, as James and I wanted to take advantage of the rapid HIV testing that AID Gwinnett was offering at their booth. I thought it was a great idea to have testing at pride, and we hadn’t been tested in a few years, so it was time. We are both negative (yay!), and there really was no reason to worry, as we are monogamous, but we still joked that we would either see everyone in 20 minutes for a day of fun, or we would just call them tomorrow. Well, glad that we didn’t have to walk down that road. After the testing, we marched over to the parade, which was nice, but way too long. There were definitely highlights (Baton BOB!), and I managed to take tons of pictures (again, on flickr — click here if you want to check out the set for yourself. James and I bailed before the end, because we were tired and it was hot. We then went back to the tent, and enjoyed the rest of the day. Deborah Gibson performed and was great, and we all had a great afternoon, just hanging out with friends, and being in the Pride atmosphere of the park. It was great. We stayed late into the evening, and then packed up and went home before the last drag performance was over.

By the time James and I got home last night, we were beat. I am still a little tired today, but I wouldn’t change a thing. It definitely was a Pride to remember. I am also sooooooo glad that it didn’t rain, because it is seriously the first pride I remember going to without a single instance of rain. And it was especially nice after having Pride rained out last year. Now I can’t wait until Pride next year; we all agreed that the tent was the best idea ever, and we will definitely be repeating that one. Hope everyone had a great weekend, and to everyone who celebrated, a happy Pride!

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pride, biology, orientation, and all things that make us gay

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Since this weekend is the 37th annual Atlanta Gay Pride festival, I thought I would reflect a little on pride, and what better way to do that, that with an article a flickr pal of mine sent to me about the biology of homosexuality? The article talks about current studies that are being conducted, many of which are looking at various biological trends in humans that indicate a biological representation of homosexuality. It builds on the studies from the past that looked at things like the differences in the hypothalamus (which was seen to be noticably different in homosexual men), and also looks at other interesting things potentially linked to your propensity to be gay, like being the youngest boy in your family, the length of your fingers, the direction of the whorl in your hair, and many other biological traits. What it goes on to show, is that the representation of these traits are sometimes significantly different for gay men, and even lesbian women, and as such, may prove to be biological markers that can be used to truly say that homosexuality is biologically determined.

While there is a lot covered in the article, and there are a lot of different points made, I thought it was interesting that first of all, we need to prove that homosexuality is somehow biological. I see how this proof would end the discussion that homosexuality was a choice, but it does open up a whole new can of worms, which is best summed up with this statement from the article:

If sexual orientation is biological, and we are learning to identify how it happens inside the uterus, doesn’t it suggest a future in which gay people can be prevented?

It appears that there is also some research looking at the possibility of genetic markers that “cause” homosexuality, and while they aren’t confirmed, it does sound both intriguing, and scary at the same time. I for one can’t imagine what would happen if it turns out that homosexuality is inherently genetic, and they do, then, start searching for a cure. (Additionally, I should note that the conclusion that lesbians are somehow “less homosexual” or even “more fluid” with their sexuality, because they haven’t identified as many markers in women is NOT something I endorse or agree with. Jumping to conclusions without research to back it up is dangerous and stupid.)

The whole notion of “curing homosexuality” is a scary thing, because I for one, don’t think that homosexuality is a disease, and as such, it certainly doesn’t need a “cure”. I am extremely proud of who I am, and being gay is a large part of that. I think that if I were meant to be born straight, I would have been. Plain and simple. I know that everyone doesn’t share my sentiment, especially those that hate themselves because they were born gay, but think about this: being gay, if it is truly biological, is essentially the same as if you were born black, red-haired, blue-eyed, female, or any other non-harmful biologically identifiable trait. The point is, that if it was meant to be, it would be. That is the way nature works.

But what about diseases, and genetically defective biological traits that can be identified and cured? Does this mean that I think that we should just let those diseases that can be prevented with genetic suppression go unchecked? No, I think that is a different argument, mainly because being gay has absolutely no provable detriment to a person’s life; other than, of course, the environmental and external influences that affect us. And we all know that just because you are gay doesn’t mean that you will be subjected to these influences, and just because you are straight, doesn’t mean you will be immune to them.

While being gay may be a “harder” life because of all that we face; discrimination, degradation, violence, hatred, etc, it is a life that we have lived, and because of what we go through, it shapes us into who we are. We are made up of both our biological selves that were given to us at birth, and we grow and are shaped by our experiences, and become who we are by combination of the two.

Now, I know for a fact that my experiences didn’t make me gay, but, they did happen to me because I am gay, and they helped me become who I am today. I am a proud, out, gay man, and I know what I know because of the journey I have been on to this point in my life. It is the journey, and what I have made from it, that I celebrate this weekend, and it is my hope that this important aspect of each gay person’s life is not lost if and when biological determinants are truly, and irrefutably identified.

Unfortunately, I am realistic about the world we live in, and I fear that the hateful, bigoted, religious extremists will force the issue of screening for these biological traits, in an effort to make gay people inferior. Even more, I fear that they will go further, and try to eliminate gay people from being born.

I hope that just because we identify that being gay isn’t because “you took dance instead of playing basketball”, and that it is because “you were born biologically homosexual”; people will NOT seek to eliminate the biological traits that make us special, unique, and wonderful.

Being gay is being different.
Being gay is being who we were born to be.
Being gay is who I am.
Being gay is who many others are as well.
Being gay is normal.

We are no less human, nor any less worthy of our lives as gay people, than anyone who is black, female, blonde haired, or left-handed is worthy of their life as who they were born. I hope that we can continue to live in a diverse world that begins to see these studies as a means of acceptance, and not as a means of elimination.

Given the tone this article has the potential to set, I for one, want to focus on the pride that I have for who I am, the community that I identify myself with, and what it means to sit here, typing this post as a proud gay man. It has been a long journey, but I know that I have a long way to go; and I couldn’t be happier that I get to take the journey myself. This weekend, I will celebrate this with my fellow gays in Atlanta, and it will be a beautiful thing. After the weekend, I will tell you all about it. Come out and see us if you can!

Happy Pride, y’all.

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red panda tattoo, phase one

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red panda tattoo, phase one, originally uploaded by duanecmoody.

It’s time to gawk and stare, bitches. Behold, the first phase of my bad-ass red panda tattoo, as done by the amazing Russ Abbott.

I admit, it is a bit bigger than I was expecting, but so what, I love it. I can’t wait until it is finished! I am just happy that Russ was able to do as much as he did last night! Surprisingly, it didn’t really hurt that bad either. The calf is definitely the place to get tattooed.

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more tattoo, tetanus shot pain, and reflections on losing a loved one

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Getting tattooed tonight… not looking forward to the pain, but I am very anxious about getting it done; the design is so cute. I can’t wait. I am worried that it is going to hurt like nobody’s business because of the all over the body pain I have been experiencing since I got a tetanus shot on Monday.

They said that I would be a “little sore”, but it literally feels like someone stabbed me in the arm, and that my arms and legs are in a vice. I just feel extremely uncomfortable in my skin right now. I hope that the pain from that subsides, and I really hope that it doesn’t make the tattoo more painful (which it sometimes can).

Other than that, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot going on with me right now. I am pretty much in limbo zone, trying to get these vaccinations squared away for going back to school. I will be glad when it is finished, and I can find out about my acceptance and all that fun stuff. I have to admit that I am excited about going back to school, but there are two things that are worrying me; I am worried that I won’t do as well as I want to, and I am stressed about the amount of time it is going to take to finish my degree. I just wish I could dedicate 100% of my time to it and knock it out… but we work with what we have, right?

Finally, last night I was watching Kathy Griffin’s My Life on the D-List, and it was a pretty sad episode, because her father died, and she was very distraught by his death. At the risk of coming across as somewhat heartless, I found that I couldn’t relate to what she was feeling; even though I felt bad for her, and as a result got upset myself. What most people would have probably felt during the episode would have been about how they would feel (or did feel) with regards to their own father’s death; but again, I didn’t relate. I had nothing. This is not to say that I wouldn’t be sad if my dad did die, but I just didn’t feel anything when the thought crossed my mind. Again, at the risk of coming across as heartless, I really don’t think that his death would affect me that much, mainly because of how distant my parents have become over the past several years. I talk with them maybe once every two months, and it is always me calling them for whatever reason (asking about when I had chicken pox for my vaccinations sheet was the most recent). The distance may or may not be a lack of caring, but at this point, I have stopped trying to fix it, and instead am learning to just deal with it. They are who they are, and if they wanted to be involved in our lives more, they would be.

See, here is where I am coming from: I had an 8 minute conversation with him on Father’s day, 75% of which I have heard every time I have talked to him on the phone in the past couple of years (they are coming to visit in the fall, he misses us, blah blah blah). Now, I am not saying that I don’t appreciate the sentiment, and that I don’t love my father, because there is nothing farther from the truth, but I honestly feel an empty place inside me where these deep feelings for him “should” be. Will that change? Probably not, because I know that he doesn’t “approve” of my “lifestyle”, and he and my mother keep their distance with expert skill. If things could be different, perhaps I would have identified more with Kathy, instead of simply feeling bad for her loss. Perhaps one day, I won’t feel that emptiness, and will fear the death of my own father, but for now, it isn’t something that particularly bothers me, especially because of his continued absence in my life. I remember being little and one of the things I worried about the most was losing my mother or my father, and as time has progressed, those fears have been hushed so significantly, that they simply aren’t there anymore. I have become numb to that fear, and I honestly couldn’t tell you if I would even feel anything at all. It is strange how your relationships can change so dramatically, especially when you have little or no control over those changes.

I guess that’s how it goes sometimes. Nothing to feel bad about, really, I guess I am just reflecting. I am feeling sort of reflective with Pride weekend coming up and all, and the show just triggered this lack of a reaction, really. Just thought getting it out there would make sense.

Totally shifting gears, who all is going to be out and about during Pride? We should be having a tent, so please, stop by and hang out!

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it’s all about promotion, baby!

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Two HUGE promotions today folks… are you ready?

First of all, I want to promote the intensely amazing news that Sara Bareilles‘ single, Love Song, is the free download of the week on iTunes!!! This is great news, because it will definitely give people an opportunity to discover her amazing talent for free!! I hope that this will garner the sort of attention that it has for many people whose singles were featured there in the past.

Click on this banner to take you to iTunes, where you can download the single Love Song for free!! (but hurry… it’s THIS WEEK ONLY!) I know you will love it (!!):

Additionally, there is a special pre-order deal going on right now; if you order her upcoming debut CD, Little Voice, over at the Sony music store, you can get a free hand-numbered lithograph of either the lyrics for the amazing song Gravity, or for the aforementioned single, Love Song! I went ahead and ordered mine, and I can’t wait for it to get here!! The CD comes out on July 3rd, so pay attention to this amazing artist, because she is going to be huge if there is any justice in this world!

The second promotion I want to blog about today, is the grand opening of the new tattoo shop, Ink and Dagger Tattoo, owned by my amazing tattoo artist, Russ Abbott. Russ did the amazing half-sleeve that I have, as well as some other work, and I can definitely say that he will be the one that I go to, in order to get any future work for me! He’s amazing! He’s actually doing a piece for me tomorrow, which you will just have to wait and see when it is complete. I will be dropping by the shop to check it out tonight, and I am so excited for him, that he has his own shop now! If you are in need of an amazing tattoo, look no further than Ink and Dagger Tattoo in Decatur, GA, because both artists at the shop (Russ and Malia) are top of the line, and will give you a work of art that you can cherish for the rest of your life.

Whew! Now that is a lot to be excited about!! Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday, and make sure you check out these people I am promoting… you will love them! I certainly do!