For some reason that I cannot identify, I am feeling kind of down today, even though it is payday. I tend to do this every once and I while; fill myself with doubt and anxiety about shit I cannot control (i.e., job, money, etc.), and accidentally downplay and or ignore all the good things in my life (i.e., everything else). To top it all off, when I was paying my bills on Bank of America’s website (yay! paying bills is super-fun), I saw this link that calculates what it would take for you to retire a millionaire; and, being a glutton for punishment, I clicked it. And this is what it said:
If you invest $5,000 now and $350 monthly at 6.00%, you’ll be a millionaire in 59 years at age 86. (86? SHIT! Just in time to replenish my supply of Depends)
To be a millionaire at age 65 (this is a little more reasonable, maybe I will be able to enjoy 5 years of non-Alzheimer’s filled fun), you’ll need to:
Increase the amount you invest now to $140,162 , or
Increase your monthly investment to $923 , or
Achieve a rate of return of 11.42%.
When adjusted for inflation, $1 million in 59 years would be equivalent to $178,970 today.
OH HAPPY DAY!!! I think the part that is the most shocking about that whole thing, is the statement that, when adjusted for inflation, $1 million dollars in 35 or so years will only be worth about what $179k is worth now! FUCK!! That means that I will definitely be living off of the state, who won’t with those figures, right (here’s hoping we can… yikes!)?
Oh well, that definitely isn’t making me feel any better about that shit I cannot control; BUT the mini shopping spree I did during lunch certainly is. Ah, nothing like a little retail therapy to dull the pain, and make you forget how much money you DON’T have. Welcome to America folks!!!
I seriously do feel better now… I will probably need to spend some money after work to increase that good feeling. And drink some beer. Such a good friend, beer is. Thank God is it Friday. And, the best part about this weekend, is that it is a three-day one!!! Have a great Columbus day weekend folks! Take a day and celebrate the man that “discovered” America; or, as I like to think of it, the man who raped, pillaged, stole, cheated, and exploited a nation of people that could quite possibly be traced to the beginning of the human species!! But who am I to complain, I do get the day off, at least.
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