early predictions: the project runway/top model edition

So, as we all know, America’s. Next. Top. Model . debuted last night, and right away, I can tell that there are some fierce (and bitchy) girls in this competition. Also, since this week is fashion week, they have the designs for each of the 4 remaining Project Runway designers available online, and I know you are dying to know what I think. But I am getting ahead of myself. I would like to talk about who I think is going to win Project Runway, who is my early favorite for Top Model, and just generally a few observations about Top Model the show and the girls on it this season. After you check out what I have to say, tell me what you think, okay?!?!?!

Shall we begin? Let’s do.

First of all, here are the links for the designs from Jeffrey, Laura, Michael, and Uli. First let’s start with Jeffrey. I have to say that I am probably the most surprised by Jeffrey, because his line is actually very cohesive and actually pretty. His collection is definitely very detailed, and flows well. I think he did a great job, but I don’t know if it is enough to win. Laura. Laura, Laura, Laura. I am not at all surprised by Laura. It is boring. And, it is not for spring, in my opinion. If she were designing a fall line, MAYBE, but not this time… those designs are not spring. I will say that I hope upon hope that Laura is the one that was the fake out collection, because honestly, that is the only salvation she could offer for all of that mess she sent down the runway. On to Michael. While the boy can design some clothes, and we see some excellent designs here, I don’t feel the cohesive element in his collection. After all, this isn’t a challenge anymore, this is a collection. You have to keep it cohesive, and still at the same time provide beautiful designs and clothes. While his clothes stand alone beautifully, I don’t know if gold and brown being the elements that tie things together, are going to be enough to win this for him. And that brings me finally to Uli. While I have only mildly liked Uli all season, I have to say, her collection (in my opinion), is hands down the best. I mean, just take a look at the dress pictured here. This could be Gucci, i.e., it’s flawless. Her designs are beautiful, spring, flowing, and cohesive. If she isn’t in the top two, I will be very shocked. My guess is that she is going to win it. This is a very strong collection, and if I learned anything from season two, it isn’t about one or two dresses, it is about everything, and everything she sent down that runway was beautiful, cohesive, spring-ready, and feminine, and probably most importantly, Uli. So, she’s my pick to win.

Now, on to ANTM, after the jump. (look at these as two separate entries rolled into one. Make sure to give me your opinion on who you like/dislike, want to win/think will will, etc!)

First, I need to talk about the girls in general for a moment, and about the show itself as well. GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS, haven’t you bitches learned anything by watching the previous 6 (SIX!) cycles of the show? There are a few things that are most likely GOING to happen, so you better be ready to do it BEFORE you apply to be on the show. Last night, which I thought was bold, and totally awesome, they made them pose nude right off the bat. Of course, the one little conservative chick who said she was totally ready and could do anything, was all, “no, I won’t do that” (even though she sort of did), and I am sitting here thinking, you mean to tell me, you think you are going to be a model, and never show your tits or your ass? You are fucking nuts! Go home farm girl!! They have posed nude on other cycles before this one… why are you shocked they would ask it of you?!? Next, the thing that is DEFINITELY going to happen is they are going to change your hair. They may cut it. They may dye it. They may do both! They may give you a weave! BE READY! You know why? Because that is part of modelling? Seriously, how do these people not know this or expect this, and they all claim that they have always wanted to be a model? Wake up and smell the fashion, sisters.

Alright, enough of that. Now on to the girls themselves. First of all, I love the Indian girl, Anchal. She is gorgeous. I don’t think she will go far though, because she lacks self confidence. AJ on the other hand, will probably go far because she lacks self confidence. Don’t you love it when Tyra plays with your nuts like that? Me too. Overall, my favorite as of right now, is Megan. Mostly because I don’t think Kim from cycle 5 got her due; and considering they keep picking these girlie girls, I think it is time for a androgynous chick… someone who can really model the hell out of boys and girls clothes. Plus, she is totally cute, and I love her quiet little self. As for everyone else, I have as yet to form an opinion, but I am still wondering why the hell they put TWINS on the show. That is just dumb. One but not the other would have been my call, but they probably just want to start some shit between sisters. Speaking of the twins, I didn’t know that one of them was actually Fiona Apple (Michelle, pictured here from the first challenge). It is good to know that Fiona has a potential career in modelling, and a chance at landing a cover and spread in Seventeen magazine. And, speaking of starting shit… what the fuck is up Monique‘s ass? She been a bitch from the beginning, and she has got to go. Or maybe not… I can hope that if she stays, they all turn on her and kill and devour her carcass on camera. It will be like that movie Alive, only they will be starving in a posh LA house instead of starving on a mountain, and they girls will actually only pick at her bones and then go throw her up in the bathroom. That would be fantastic TV, ladies and gents. Tyra girl, I knew you loved me! You are bringing me only the best!!!

Now that I have said my spiel, sit down and strap yourselves in kids, and don’t forget to check out the incomparable Rich over at fourfour every week, because his reviews of PR and ANTM are insanely hilarious, and definitely spot on. I know that my attention has been captivated, but, what is your opinion? I know you want to tell me, so let me know!!!! Sorry for the long ass entry(s), and oh yeah, the pictures ARE NOT MINE!!!