Last night, I stayed up until 2:30 in order to finish the God of War game I played all day on Sunday. I managed to beat the game, but find that my insatiable new hunger for video games has grown. I have been looking this morning, and have already found new titles to get into. Perhaps I like to play these games because I zone out and forget about all of the problems I am presently going through. Perhaps. Either way, I don’t care how much of a nerd it makes me, I have fallen back in love with my PS2.
I honestly wish I could shake off whatever bad water this is clinging to me. I feel like everything is going on around me, and I am powerless to react, interact, or change any of it; all while being unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Certain aspects of my life are great (mainly James), but other things just drag the very life right out of me; and I can’t seem to make any changes. I just wish I could figure out what to do to make it stop. I just want to be my old self again, or better yet, a new me that can do, can react, and can interact.
I feel the need to apologize to my fellow bloggers, who probably wonder if I even read their pages anymore. It is almost like food has lost all taste to me, and I can’t seem to figure out how to get it back. Just know that this is kind of my whimper of a try to hold on to something. Speak about something that I can’t seem to control, and let you know that I am still here, even if I am barely breathing. I still care, and I want to do more, but I just can’t. Not right now. Hopefully that will change, and even more hopefully, you will all still be there when it does. Thanks for listening.
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