Well, we survived the Arnson wedding; too much drinking is an understatement. Either way, we had a lot of fun, and offer supreme congratulations to the Arnsons; even though James and I can’t get legally married ourselves. Kidding. Well, sort of. Either way, it was a blast, and we are honored we were included.
Yesterday, while I was laying on the couch recovering from the previous night’s reception, I found myself on the discovery health channel watching shows about medical marvels and mysteries, and it got me thinking; we are so freaking lucky. There are people that are born every day with major problems, and many of them never survive. Those that do survive these horrible afflictions undergo surgery and constant suffering, just to live day to day. It really puts things in perspective, and begs that one be grateful for what they have.
But to be honest, all it does it makes me feel guilty for what I do have, especially considering that I find myself depressed and unhappy even though I have them. I know that depression is not ungratefulness, but hey, I am a self-deprecating type of person, so you should expect that from me, right? I should be able to see the great things that I have, but it is almost like I am blinded by something I can’t control. I am powerless to keep it from overshadowing what is good in my life, and that sucks. I am doing what I can to get through it, but it is hard, and things like this just make me feel even more guilty. Hopefully, I can parlay that guilt into something positive, right?
Either way, I am going to try and be grateful today for what I have, and focus on how good things actually are; maybe today won’t be a “bad” depression day for me because of that; and that is all I could hope for. Hope your Mondays are great, kittens.
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