another year, another handjob from MTV

I mean, that’s the whole point of the VMA’s, isn’t it? To jerk off the pop community? Well, after watching another year of mostly boring performances, mostly lame videos getting awards, and even lamer “celebrities” presenting said awards, I am convinced that the whole point of the show is kind of like those year end required recitals that every dance company has for the little kids in their classes. It’s just a little closure on a year in music, and it is pretty efficient in ignoring almost anyone but the hot act of the moment. Sorry, but this might get a bit long, you might want to get a soda and get comfortable…

There were highlights of course… I was happy that Britney won her first (and even won three before the end of the night) moon man award for what one can only assume was the song, NOT the video. I think that MTV felt remorse for throwing her to the hungry gators last year, and as penance, offered her these awards to make up for ignoring brilliant pop performances and great videos throughout her career (I mean come on… Slave 4 U would be just as hot if it were released today). While Piece of Me was definitely a highlight from Blackout, the video just showed us a taste of what Britney was always capable of, without the actual goods. We know she can do better, because she has. Hate her or love her, one thing is for sure, Britney has had a long career because pop music is all about the flash, the glitter, the dance, and the production; fellow music peers like Madonna are proof positive that it has very little to do with actual talent (although, Britney really can dance, and can definitely perform; which is definitely a talent). With all that being said, Britney looked fantastic last night, and was very together. I am excited that this may signal a real comeback with her next record; the one that Blackout was more than ready to give her… if only she had been ready at the time it was released.

As for the rest of the VMA’s, I have to pay special attention to something that has me in disbelief: I can’t believe that it is 2008 and that fucking sagging your pants and showing your underwear trend is STILL being trotted around by these rich ass motherfucking rappers. You have MILLIONS of dollars, Lil’ Wayne; wear a goddamned suit, or at least pull up your fucking pants. T.I. looked incredibly dapper… follow his example! UGH. All it does is makes it “cool” for kids to copy by example, and it isn’t cool to show your underwear unless you are a stripper in a strip club… again, PULL UP YOUR PANTS!

On to the performances… which were fun to watch for the most part… however, Rihanna should REALLY start doing what Janet and Britney do for their shows; record the track and lip sync it live. Her voice is pretty, but a live singer she is not. Leona Lewis got her start by singing live; so she can clearly do it… Rihanna, I’ll admit that you can sing great in a studio, but that’s about all; which is WAY more than many can say. Be proud you at least have singing talent.

I will go on record again, and say that I just do not get the Jonas Brothers. They have to be more than just “cute” for me to scream my fucking lungs out like the girls are doing for these boys. Seriously… I. Just. Don’t. Get. It. They sing through their noses! How do people not notice this?!?!?

The best performance of the night BY FAR came from P!nk, who has consistently gotten better with every subsequent release in her career. P!nk is a fucking great performer, and she tore it up last night. Fantastic.

I couldn’t believe how bad Paramore sounded; I guess her voice really is much like Rihanna’s; great in the studio, and that’s about it.

The performance by Christina Aguilera was good, but she is clearly channeling Alison Goldfrapp for her “new” sound. Well, I guess if by “new” she means 3 years ago, then at least we are all on the same page. Either way, her debuting her new single is part of what the VMA’s has always been about in the past, so it was nice to see that continuing to be part of the show.

I won’t touch Kanye West, because his ego is so gargantuan that he doesn’t even exist within this realm of existence anyway. Every time he opens his mouth to do anything buy sing, I lose more and more respect for him. I guess some people really are that full of themselves.

Overall, the host shouted the entire show, and the production value of the night was haphazard at best. I remember past VMA’s that were star studded, and didn’t look like they were held in a parking lot of a Kmart. I guess it is fun and all, but it really is getting more and more obvious that MTV is really just incapable of doing anything outside of the realm of the super expected anymore. Pop music is definitely a passion of mine, and I will always have a hard time avoiding such train wrecks as the VMA’s, but hey, at least I can talk shit about it behind it’s back the next day, right?