the wrong way to act take two: bitchy old queen of a bartender edition

What happened last night can only be described as surreal. Trying to order a drink at a bar got me yelled at, to which I walked away from, and then the bartender came after me for more, which led to my ultimately leaving the bar. I think that what I wrote for my yelp review is pretty expressive of the experience, so I felt that I should let that tell the story (with minor edits):

To the bitchy, old, full of herself queen that works the bar:

Just because you are bitter that you have to work Saturday nights, instead of getting your party on, doesn’t make it okay to take it out on the patrons of this clearly “second tier” establishment. You clearly have some anger issues that need professional attention, and I suggest that if you are going to continue to be a bartender, that being a complete and utter ASSHOLE should be something that you should work on, stat.

Basically, here’s the story. I have been to Oscars several times, but never have I thought anything other than, “oh, we have to go there… ugh”. Mostly, because the bar is a bit tragic, and as far as gay bars go in ATL, it was always very close to the bottom of my list of choices. Well, after last night, it is now the last place I would EVER step foot into again.

A good friend of mine was celebrating his birthday, and we decided to go to Burkharts, which is right across the parking lot from Oscars. After becoming annoyed with the ever growing crowd at Burkharts, it was decided that we should move on to Oscars, because, as expected, it wouldn’t be as crowded (it never really is… which is probably reflective of why I will never set foot in there again). After paying tabs and making our way over, we settled on the patio outside, which was empty except for our group.

I went back inside to get a drink, and found an empty place at the bar to lean in and ask for a drink. There were two bartenders standing directly in front of me, one mixing a drink, and the other just standing there. They both made continual eye contact with me, and taking that as a cue, I simply leaned in and said, “can I have a miller lite?”, assuming that their eye contact meant that they were curious as to how they could help me. What I wasn’t expecting was the aforementioned old bitchy asshole’s response. He was the one making the drink. His response literally took me by surprise, because he said in a very derogatory way, “well, I will, if you can WAIT YOUR TURN“, literally yelling the last part at me. Being the person that I am, who doesn’t really put up with bullshit, especially in situations where I am paying for a service, I put my money back in my pocket, said “fine then”, and walked back outside to my friends. I was a bit taken aback that he would be so rude, but just decided that this place wouldn’t be getting any of my money, and tried to move on.

Then, about 5 minutes later, the other bartender came outside to “cool me off” I guess, and stated that the asshole bartender was “just like that”, to which I told him that it was really rude, and that I wasn’t going to be going back in there to deal with it. He asked me if I wanted anything, and I told him that I didn’t appreciate the attitude, and that I was fine, for him to leave me alone. The whole conversation was civil, but still awkward, as the asshole had sent someone else out to feign a half-hearted attempt at an apology.

What I thought was over, can only be followed by a situation that ranks near the top of the most ridiculous, immature, and completely unacceptable experiences I have had in my life. The asshole that had been rude to be decided that he was going to come out and “straighten me out”. He came out on to the patio, and loudly declared that he was “looking for the idiot that couldn’t take a fucking joke”. I thought I could avoid the situation by remaining silent, but after continual demanding shouts of the same demeaning request, my blood was boiling, and so I told him that I was not an idiot because I didn’t want to put up with his attitude.

This quickly escalated into an all out shouting match between the asshole and myself; with every attempt I made to get him to leave me alone was met with him insulting me over and over again at the top of his lungs. It was clear that this asshole was 100% asshole, and there was no way that he was going to back down. I kept asking him to just shut up, and leave me alone, and he would not back down. I kept saying that I couldn’t believe that I was having such a ridiculous conversation with such an immature individual, to which he kept saying that he couldn’t believe how he was talking to such an idiot. I told him that he must be talking to himself, because I am not an idiot for decidedly not putting up with some asshole’s rude behavior. Finally, I told him that what he was expecting was for me to just put up with him being and asshole, and if that is what he wanted, that he could fuck off, and at that, he demanded that I leave the bar.

I told the people I was with that if they had rode with me, that I was clearly leaving, and the asshole even continued shouting at me as I tried to get out of the bar as fast as I could. He just wouldn’t stop. Needless to say, I left, and will NEVER return to Oscars again.

What really bothers me looking back on the situation, is how it escalated to a point where I was standing in a group of my friends trying to get this old fucker to leave me alone, and NO ONE spoke up, or defended me. Even after I left the bar, only one of my friends came outside to see how I was, and out of a group of almost 10 of my friends, not a single person inquired as to how I was after the obviously ridiculous and intense moment. I can say that without a shadow of a doubt, that if the same thing had happened to one of them, I would have spoken up, or at least seen how they were after the situation, but none of the same was afforded to me. That really bugs me, but there is nothing I can do about it, I can’t dictate the actions of others, which is clear when I couldn’t diffuse the bitchy asshole’s misplaced rant on me for not putting up with his bullshit.

I honestly wish I had never set foot in that bar last night, but I can’t take it back; just know that asking me to go back there is completely out of the question. And a final message for the bartender who acted like a complete asshole/child: grow up and learn how to deal with your anger, I am sure that it has ruined many relationships in your life, and you probably spend a lot of your time wondering what happened… well, I think I have an idea of where things might go wrong; stop being a douche to people that don’t deserve it, and perhaps people will be affording of your feelings in return. Just a thought.