fuck comcASS (that’s right, the t is silent)

After a month of me calling repeatedly to see why my “high speed” internet connection has been working at less than dial up speeds, I finally thought that today I would get resolution. I talked with the Comcast person on Thursday, and here’s what she said (keep in mind, this would be the 5th time I have heard the exact same thing):

It appears that there is a massive amount of packet loss when I ping your modem. There must be something wrong with the modem, because we don’t have any outages or problems in your area. I will be glad to send a technician out.

YAY! ANOTHER technician is coming! But, despite my negative sarcastic attitude, I was actually hoping that this one would actually come in and look at the problem. See, the last guy said he called me 3 times and even came by the house and knocked on the door, but I never answered either. Weird thing is, I was HOME when he “called”, and he never knocked on my door. I found out he was calling the wrong number (which I had corrected 3 times prior to that date, but then, we are dealing with lower level primates here, so I guess that was to be expected). So, you can see why I was less than excited about someone else coming out… I was essentially just hoping he would actually show.

Cut to today. I woke up early, and they called to let me know they guy would be here around 11:30 (they got the number right this time!). Sure enough, around 11:30, I greet the Comcast guy, and he comes in. I direct him to the office, and stand there as he gets to work. Instantly, he types in an address in IE (yuck), and proclaims, “there doesn’t seem to be a problem; everything is working just fine”. WOW! Really???! That must be why I have called so many times and have had so many people come out! Because there is NOTHING WRONG!! Thanks for coming by!! Good day sir!

Um, no.

So, I immediately tell him what they have told me on the phone, packet loss, yadda yadda, and so he reluctantly starts to tinker. Remember that his words were, “everything’s fine”, initially, because that will become important again later. While he tinkers, I actually feel a little more optimistic, so I leave the room. He tinkers some more. Then, I go in to see what is going on, and he assures me things are fine. He has run the numbers, etc, and everything is hunky dory. Um, no. I didn’t get you out here to tell me things are fine when I know they aren’t, douche. So I say, maybe something is wrong with the modem, considering that they say the modem is having such packet loss and whatnot. He then deflects that to the router, which I expected, and says that the router must be the issue. I assure him that it isn’t because even when you hook the computer directly to the modem, the same shit happens. Finally, after a bit of pushing, I get him to actually TRY a new modem! SHOCK! AWE! So he goes and gets it, and comes in to tinker some more.

The whole time he is doing this, he is walkie-talkieing with his boss on his NEX-TEL. Okay, now the new modem is hooked up (I watched him tinker this time), and guess what…. NO INTERNET AT ALL!!! It must be the router! So he hooks it up to my PC, and low and behold, he gets a “bad” IP address, and that means that the PC’s ethernet port must be fucked! Holy shit! Try the other one! Yep! That one gets a “good” IP address!!! It’s your PC dude!!! Um, no.

Then, being the complexly intelligent sage with a memory of steel, I remind him that when he arrived, THINGS WERE FINE (see, I told you it was important to remember that). He stumbles for a second, only to continually repeat that “bad” IP address routine. Um, no. That doesn’t work for me buddy, and so I say, “well, if it worked fine, per your words, when you arrived, how is the ethernet port on my computer all of a sudden the problem? Maybe that was something you did?” Well, perhaps that hit a button with him, because he started to argue with me at this point. I went from pissed to livid in like 2.5676 seconds, and laid into him. But I came to my senses quickly, because I was quickly shown he had NO IDEA what he was talking about. He kept bouncing back and forth from the router, to the ethernet connection, to the new modem (kind of like my connection, I suppose); but then hit me with the kicker… “sir, you are the one that asked for the new modem.”

Um, what? I did not! I told you it COULD be a problem with the modem, and that you SHOULD probably look at that before you just up and leave!!! He insisted that it was my fault, because apparently the new modem didn’t like my ethernet port. WTFever dude. I was so livid, that I told him it was pointless to argue with him, because he obviously had no idea what he was talking about, and that he was talking to me like I was stupid, so I told him to hook up the old modem and go. He then had to call and get permission to do that (what?!), and finally did that and left.

Now, not 20 minutes after he has gone, the internet doesn’t work through the router (at least, not when I hooked it back up after he left), AND, it is hooked directly into my PC (remember the one with the bad IP address, which kept it from doing internet), which I AM USING FOR INTERNET. Consequently enough, the “bad” IP address had something to do with starting with a 169, and right now, the IP address my PC is showing starts with 24. Again, not a clue what he was talking about.

Needless to say, I will be doing 3 things:
1) I will call Comcast one last time to let them know that their techs are rude, argumentative, and downright insulting. I will also use this call as an opportunity to tell them they can shove their “high” speed internet up their respective ass.
2) I will be calling Bellsouth DSL, and see how much it costs, and how quickly, they can have DSL in my house. I had DSL in the past, and I had no problems with the DSL itself, it was just the company I had it through that caused me problems. Since I won’t be with them, hopefully this will be a good solution.
3) (and this is probably the best one) I will be filing a claim with the Better Business Bureau against Comcast. I feel like there are too many people that experience the same problems that I have had with their internet for this to go unsaid. I am tired of a “solution” to a problem be “well, it’s your router, computer, ethernet, yadda yadda yadda”. NO. It isn’t, douche, fix it! Needless to say, I filed one on them before for shitty customer service, and they weren’t too happy. I doubt they will be this time either. If you have these same issues, I BEG you to please do the same. The more strikes against them, the better. Don’t steal my money and give me nothing but empty promises… or you will get filed against.

Whew. I know that this is a long entry, but I had to get it out. I have internet (albeit slow, dial up like internet), and am hoping that it lasts until I can get Bellsouth out here. Hope everyone else is having a great Saturday, and to detox from this horrid experience, I am going to see Children of Men with a friend. I have had enough “internet woes” for one day.