I usually do that year end music and movie set of posts, and this year will be no different; only thing is that I will probably have to spill over into 2007 a little… as December has been a hectic month.
But I am sure you forgive me, don’t you? Stay tuned, because there are some CDs and movies that I am just gushing over, and can’t wait to share with you. Now I see you shiver with antici….
pation.
Check back! Right now I am trying to enjoy what little “vacation” I actually got this year!
That you MUST go see Dreamgirls!!!! It was one of the best movies I have seen this year, hands down!! It is flawless from beginning to end. All of these girls are DIVAS and I was even impressed big time with Beyonce! Of course, the shining star of the whole film is Jennifer Hudson, who completely steals the show every time she is on the screen, and her showstopper, “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”, is chill inducing. I still can’t get over how fantastic this movie really is, seriously. I am definitely going to pick up the soundtrack too, because I loved every song I heard in the film.
If you love musicals, and you want to see a fantastic one, do yourself a favor, then and RUN to the theaters… Dreamgirls will not disappoint you. I honestly wasn’t that excited about it, not as much as I thought I would be going in, but I was so overly impressed, that it totally made up for it. This is definitely a contender for awards… not because it speaks to critics, but because it is so damn good!!! A must see!!! And Jennifer Hudson, honey, you have got everything it takes… you have solidified yourself as a tried and true diva! Work it girl!
[note that the image isn’t mine… I found it on google images, ya’ll]
First of all, for those of you that celebrate it, Merry Xmas…
Now that we have that out of the way… We are back from our whirlwind tour of NC. Overall, the dread that I felt quickly subsided, because I maintained control over the situation and stuck to my guns (we stayed in our hotel, not at my parents), which made everything much better. Also, it was really odd that the usual routine of guilt, criticism, and constant questioning and ignoring was pretty much out the window. Perhaps having a grandson is causing some changes in the family dynamic; for the better.
Either way, here is a bulleted list of my trip:
— Grandma made a video of her head on top of dancing bodies. It is hilarious. I have a copy on DVD. YES!
— My nephew Jackson is a HUGE baby. BUT, he is also completely adorable and insanely cute. He is also terrified of the TMX Elmo.
— I still don’t like pugs. My mom’s black pug Molly went after Sydney, and scared Sydney really bad. I haven’t heard him yelp constantly like that since the cat incident.
— Driving for 7 hours one way is not something I will consider doing again any time soon. I think that I may have to put my foot down and have people meet me in the middle or come to see me for a change. It is time, dammit.
— I really love my parents new house. It is HUGE. Too bad we couldn’t live there when I was young!
— I think that my father has found the son he always wanted in my sister’s husband. They get along so well, and talk to each other like father and son. That was interesting to watch. It doesn’t make me feel bad, but it was just interesting to see. At least it is good to know that he is actually capable of having those bonds with someone.
— My parents have like new everything… new TV, new car, new computer. I tried to hook up mom’s wireless internet with no luck; hopefully, she will call in and get that working herself.
— Also, I found out she reads my blog. Interesting. James and I talked about that, and thought perhaps this would be a starting point to discuss the feelings I have, and perhaps get them validated at some point. I think we are a ways off from that, but we will see. By saying what I feel in this format, I am getting it out there, and that is a good thing, but I can’t be expected to make all of the moves… there has to be a reciprocal discussion here.
— It was weird being around my family and not having the usual criticism and guilt thrown at me. Yes, the guilt was still there, but it was toned down considerably. Also, the criticisms where still there, but not at all like before. No one really had anything negative to say about my tattoos, which surprised me. That was really good. It is hard to be around people that only look at your flaws and then use them to hurt you. Perhaps they are learning how to stop doing that? Only time will tell.
— That’s really about it. I did hang out with a few friends the first night we got there (which was great), but other than that, all we did was family time. Lots of hanging out with Grandma and the rents. I also got to hang out with my nephew a lot, who is so adorable it was hard to put him down. My sister said that the reason she hasn’t sent us anything regarding Jackson, was because we hadn’t asked for it, and so she thought we weren’t interested. I nipped that guilt trip in the bud, and told her to send me all kinds of photos, no more guilt as an excuse to exclude me.
Overall, those were some highlights from the trip. I am glad to be at home and back in my own comfort zone, and I am sure it will be a long time before I go up there again. Either way, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but that was because things were different this time. People have changed. I hope that those changes stick, and I hope they continue to move in a good direction; perhaps things can be salvaged after all. Only thing, is that it is going to take some reciprocation… now if we could only jump start that part of the deal. Oh well… one step at a time.
Merry Xmas ya’ll.
HEY! I need your help!!!
I want to receive emails when I get comments, and currently, even though that option is checked under options… it isn’t happening. Thoughts? Suggestions?
Also, if you know a lot about PHP script, can we get together for beers? Because I need to be able to work my magic on this template and fast. Also, if you know of a very simple template or template builder that I could have access to, that would be great!!!
Thanks for listening! We are off to NC today at 3ish. I will be glad to get there, because I know the drive is going to be horrible… I always threaten to fly, and I think I am going to follow through on that if we ever go back. Hope everyone has a great weekend, and I will report back when we return. I will still have access to email though, so if you need me, you know what to do!
See ya soon!
I fiddled with the template to get it to look somewhat like what I had, but it is going to have to do for now, because I am frustrated. Gah.
So, I will work on it when I return from the “holidays”. Hope everyone is well!
duane will return soon… MT was hungry and ate his blog.
EDIT: Okay, so here’s what happened… Movable type ate my blog and all of my comments. Luckily, I had a back up from the 6th of December, so I get to keep everything before that (but not the archives). Gah. I am now on WP, for the time being, since I don’t want to get into anything else that will break. I hope to update the template and all of that, but for now I am just bewildered that this happened.
Feel free to comment here, as this is the new duanemoody.com, and according to everyone that fluffs WP, it won’t be going anywhere.
Also feel free to go back and comment on today’s post, as there were some good comments that I wanted to address. Thanks ya’ll.
Tomorrow I leave for NC. A 6 hour drive to see people that don’t even care if I show up or not. Scratch that… they do care, but only enough to create and flaunt the guilt that would come if I didn’t show up. So much effort wasted on trying to make me feel bad that I don’t put 100% of the effort into our “relationship”.
Oh well. Thank GOD I have such an amazing cousin (I LOVE YOU!!!) who totally hooked us up with a salvation spot: a hotel to stay in, instead of having to stay at their house. At least we can leave if it becomes necessary. The threat of “I will leave if you don’t stop” can finally be real.
I know that people always wonder what is “so bad” about a family that could cause you to not want to visit them, but it is pretty simple; people that make you feel bad about yourself aren’t good people. Going to their house will be to open myself up to the criticism that they call “love”. Going to their house will make me uncomfortable, because I know what they say about us when we aren’t there. Going to their house will cause me to be subjected to hearing negative things about other family members that I truly love, and who I know truly love me no matter what. I hurts to be around these type of people because they hurt me and call it love. Someone has to actually love me and prevent me from going through this anymore. From now on, that person is going to be me.
No one should feel so obligated to maintain a relationship with people that show you over and over that they do not want one back. Not calling me because you have convinced yourself I am too busy is not an adequate excuse. Throwing tons of guilt at me because I don’t call you isn’t acceptable. The reason you sound like a stranger, and the reason you know nothing about our lives, is because you wanted it that way. You can only expect to get out what you put in, and that is something you both need to know. And I have faith in myself that you will begin to know that soon. And no, that baby will not be your excuse either; you decided how I would relate to him well before he was born, and you have only cemented that distance by never sending me any photos or word of him since his birth. You did that, and you will have to accept it. You will get back what you put in. Nothing.
I have decided that this will be the year that I make changes. Things won’t be this way again next year. I can’t let them continue. And, most importantly, I will NOT be the ONLY one that knows it. I will not silently take the blame, the shame, and play their game.
I officially quit. I am so sick of this shit, and I am not going to put up with it silently alone any more. I will come to see you on my terms, and if you don’t like it, I will leave. But you will know that it was you that made me leave, and you will understand what the guilt that you have thrown at me for 28 years truly feels like. I may hope that it will change you, but I honestly don’t have very high hopes for that… all I can hope for is for my own happiness. And dammit, I am working on it.
It seems there is some hotness with the whole blogger meet up thing, so here is my solution, and I am going with it:
— There has never been and never will be an affiliation between ATLbloggers.net and APWBWGTTD. Done.
— There should be a regular meet up place.
— There should also be a regular meet up time (e.g., Every 2nd Wednesday of the month).
— I also propose less emphasis on organization and more on having fun with it; since that is what it is supposed to be about.
I am also floating the idea of a specific APWBWGTTD website. It would post things about the meet up, like reminders, provide a place for you to sign up for reminders, flickr photos and crap like that. Does everyone think that would work for you? Keep in mind, you don’t have to come to every meet up to be a member, and you don’t have to drink if you come. It is just what some of us will do as a part of the meet ups.
I am officially taking votes for the place and the time. I vote for Manuel’s Tavern on the second Wednesday of every month. That is pretty middle of the road, and accommodative, based on what I have heard from people; and it is a good place for meeting up and generally hanging out. We could increase the frequency of meeting up (making additional meet ups on a different night) if people would like that as well.
Let me know what you think about this game plan. I had no idea that opening this can of worms would polarize so many people, so I just want it to get back to drinking with my friends.
Also, on a different note, Little Miss Sunshine is on DVD today. Buy this movie; it is the best movie of the year IMHO!!!
So there was some concern that came after another “failed” meet up this past week that the group was fizzling out, and was potentially either not worth maintaining, or simply in need of revamping or revitalizing. In my last post, I got lots of comments that showed there was still an interest in having the monthly meet ups (which I was glad to hear, as I do like our meet ups), but conflict was sited as the number one reason for people not coming to meet ups.
Is this true? If so, how would we propose resolving said conflicts? I have a couple of ideas:
1) We could pick a set location for our meet ups. This would prevent the need to continually decide on a place to meet, and would potentially make it easier to attract and keep people interested.
2) Several dates could be picked, and through voting, a final date could be decided upon for each month’s meet up. (I see a pontential problem here, but I am trying to find a happy medium)
3) Or, we could continue to do it the way we have been, and hope for the best (although, Lori has made it clear she will be stepping down as event coordinator); but, the whole point of this post shows that this isn’t working.
4) Other suggestions?
Now, with that being said, I would also like to know what everyone thinks of what Robert said (link). I have to say that I somewhat agree with him; the point of the website was to bring people together through common interest (i.e., blogging) regularly IRL, not just as a feed dump. I feel like ATLbloggers has changed dramatically since I joined, and would like to see some of the sense of community we had a year ago come back into the forefront. Should APWBWGTTD be synonymous with ATLbloggers.net? I think that it should at least be more closely joined. Should it be a (loose) “requirement” that you at least have a desire to participate in meet ups in order to be a part of ATLbloggers? I remember that coming to a meet up used to be a requirement for membership; should that be reinstated and enforced? Before you flip out, I am not talking about FORCING people to hang out, but it would be nice to actually get to know the people whose blogs are showcased on the site; after all, that is the point of having a “club” like ATLbloggers in the first place. If you don’t want to participate, that is fine, but why would you want to have your blog on the site with people you don’t know and have no desire to get to know? That doesn’t make sense to me.
I am sure that some of you will disagree, but let me know why; I just don’t want to see a group that has brought me some really great friends go down the tubes, and I think that it can be saved. But I need your help and suggestions to make that happen. I hope we can make ATLbloggers what it used to be, and bring our group back together. I also hope that by doing some things and potentially implementing new strategies, we can bring more solidarity and community to the group, and potentially help it grow.
I would like to see more than just a core group of regulars; we should all be participating (or having a desire to), because if not, then it isn’t really a meet up anymore, and there really isn’t a reason to continue, I guess. If the same 4 or 5 people are showing up each time, they could probably just call each other and have dinner anyway. Let me know what you all think.
While last night’s ATL blogger meet up was a lot of fun, it is starting to look like the end of the whole thing; hardly anyone shows up anymore. Lori asked me if I wanted to take control of the title of cruise director and plan all future ATLbloggers meet ups, because she is tired of the task, and honestly, I don’t know after last night.
Have people just gotten tired of meeting up? Is there something else that is wrong? Let me know, because I know that this will be on the ATL bloggers website, and I want to see if it would even be worth my time to try and keep our little group together. I would really hate to see something that has brought me some excellent friends fizzle and die.
So tell me, bloggers… where are you? Why haven’t you been coming out?? Do you think our meet ups are worthwhile? Do you want to come to future ones? Please, let me know, okay?
And on that note… have a great weekend folks! I am going to go and listen to all the great music I got at Tower today!
