Month: September 2006

mixed media

we have a lot to cover…

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First of all, this pretty much sums up what goes through my head every day:

Perfect.

Now, for this Paris Hilton mess. She’s a mess. Arrested for drunk driving, and all her publicist could say was, “she only had one drink, and hadn’t eaten all day”? Well, she probably doesn’t eat for weeks at a time, that is no excuse. At least she didn’t hurt anyone. My only thought is why she was driving anyway… if I had that much money, I would take limos everywhere. Or at least have a drive, jeez. Get some class Paris; or as you shall now be known (in my head) Drunky Hilton.

Finally, there is a huge sigh of THANK GOD IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED after watching Project Runway last night. First of all, before I get to the sigh of relief, why in the fuck did those judges rip Kayne a new one last night? His dress was actually quite stunning, and it was a hell of a lot better than anything Laura, Vincent, or Michael had up on that stage. I personally thought it was going to come down to either Kayne or Uli winning it, but Jeffery’s outfit was worthy; I just didn’t think it was the best one. It CERTAINLY was not at all couture. I do think his model gives him points; that bitch can work a garment. I was sad to see Michael’s suck so bad, because I honestly think he has a shot at winning the whole thing. Laura, she has gotta go. EVERY dress she makes is the SAME, just with different fabric, and a different frilly nonsense around the plunging collar. Seriously, she has no boobs, and must make everything so that the models also look like they have no boobs. Get past the chest already Laura, we’ve seen it! And that brings me to my happiest thing so far this season about PR:
DING DONG THE VINCENT IS DEAD! That motherfucker is the worst “designer” ever. I can’t even believe he got on the show, let alone lasted this long. I was SURE he would be kicked off several times, and yet, he was still here; until last night. Last night, the gods of fashion answered my prayers and he was sent home to realize cashing in his 401k for something he can’t do worth shit was a bad idea. I do have to say, though, that his staying on the show this long solidifies my belief that they do not even consider what you designed in previous challenges; it isn’t about talent, so much as it is about being able to come up with something great for that challenge. I don’t know how that makes me feel, because it kind of makes it less of a continuous competition, and more of a one mistake and you are out, thing. But whatever. THE FUCKER IS GONE! Thank GOD. Vincent, honey, I hope that you are reading this, and I certainly hope it “got you off”. (What the fuck was that “I don’t care, because it gets me off” shit all about anyway?)

If anything else pops in my brain today, I will be sure to update here. Hope your Thursdays ROCK; I for one, am counting the minutes until I get to go enjoy swirl(s) from Casa Grande with the boys.

[fyi: the top picture is from toothpaste for dinner, and the one of vincent was doctored from a photo I took from fourfour, the GOD of project runway and ANTM blogging.]

all about me

visible tattoos, society, and most importantly, how it affects me

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Last night, I was watching one of the most addictive (in more ways than one) shows that are constantly recorded by my DVR: Miami Ink. As I sat watching the people get tattoo after tattoo (including the crazy lady that made the grill cheese and saw the Virgin Mary in it, and sold it for almost $30k, getting the actual image of the grill cheese on her mammoth breast), and as always, getting more excited about getting more work done on my own tattoo, I had the faintest little panicky feeling in my gut about finishing my half-sleeve: this isn’t going to be something that will be covered. It is going to be very visible (as it will go down to my elbow), and while I am fine with that (hell, I want it to the wrist, bitch), what will society think? Will people judge me? Will the people that I work with care that I have these tattoos? Will I be forced to wear long sleeved shirts?

I really hope that I don’t, and it isn’t going to stop me even if I do, but it was enough of a thought, no matter how faint, to inspire me to ask what people think. Do you think that society still judges people that have visible tattoos? If so, are their exceptions? Like, do smaller individual visible tattoos carry less criticism? Which ones are the worst? What are your thoughts when you see someone all tattooed up?

I really want to know, because I LOVE tattoos, and whenever I see them, I literally want to run to the tattoo parlor. I just wonder what other people think, because I will be getting one that is very visible, and it will be interesting to see how the people I work with will react.

And on a completely unrelated note, this is kick ass: Banksy (famous graffiti artist) doctored up a Paris Hilton album, and here is a flickr photo set of the actual album. Rock!

is it just me?

how (and why) does their love change?

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I saw this postcard on postsecret today, and honestly, it really stuck me hard. This card really made me wonder how people can change their love for their children, based on finding out their child’s sexual orientation. I seriously don’t understand how that can change someone so much that you stop loving them, or even start loving them less because of who they are.

I guess I just wonder this, because I sometimes wonder if my parents love me less because of who I am. They have never said anything to me about it, but then again, we never actually talk about (or even address) the fact that I am gay. All that was ever said, was said the day I came out. Since then, it has not been even a subject up for discussion, unless there have been instances where I forced the issue (i.e., my sister’s wedding, where James wasn’t going to be allowed to sit with the family, and I threw a fit.). I sometimes wonder if they have distanced themselves from me for the reason that this father/mother sent in this secret. Perhaps, they share those feelings; but I just wonder, as I said before, how can you change your love for someone based on who THEY are? All I can do to make myself feel better when I read, hear, or see things like this, is guarantee that I would never judge and criticize my child or anyone else’s child in this way. If I love someone, especially my (possible, someday) child(ren), I will do so unconditionally, and will always feel that way. I believe that once you give love, you should never take it back.

I just can’t comprehend how someone can stop loving, or change their love for their own child because that child shares who they really are with their parents. What do you all think? Where do you think this mentality comes from? How do you think people have this ability to turn their backs on those they love because of something they don’t agree with (which doesn’t make it any less true or any more “wrong”)? How do you think you can change these thoughts, or can we?

What is so wrong with people today that we turn our backs on our own children because of who they love? This really sheds light on the way that people can turn their backs on those in need… if you can do it to your own child, you can certainly do it to a stranger who has less than you, and needs a helping hand. And this is what people hide under the guise of what is right and moral? I think not.

all about me

a three day weekend, no less!

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I am so excited that this weekend will be a three day weekend, you just don’t know. Relaxing is the main goal, as I have had a tremendous amount of back pain that has not subsided in the least, which began last Friday. I just want it to go away!

I shall now commence my stretching in my office; thank god I don’t have a cubicle, because I am sure it would look strange with me slumped over on the floor!

As for the previous post, I appreciate much of your advice, but I just have to say that even though I don’t want to “punish” my nephew by not having a relationship with him, I also don’t want to make things difficult for me by forcing my way into the lives of people that show me continually that they don’t care about me. I have family that I love and care for, and even though I choose not to stay in touch with some of them, it doesn’t mean I don’t love them. My therapist continually tells me something that I believe to be more and more true each day: just because your parents are your parents, it doesn’t mean that they are necessarily the best people. They aren’t that bad, true, but they don’t treat me how I feel I should be treated, especially because I believe love shouldn’t have conditions.

I will figure out what the best route is for me, and I will take it. It is going to be a journey, and there may be some bumps along the way, but I will be the one taking it, and not letting it take me. For now, I am choosing to steer clear, and I feel confident that I doing what is best for me. Sometimes, you have to be selfish in order to find peace and happiness in your own life; and by god I am going to at least give that a go.