Yes. There’s a difference. There is a big difference between acknowledging attraction to someone, and acting on it. See, I will admit it. I am definitely attracted to lots of different people. Lots of different types of people. Men. I love to look at men. I look at men all day long, and never get tired of it. Does that mean that I act on those attractions? No. Does that mean that I am any less attracted to my partner? Absolutely not! I identify that I am very visually oriented, and I like looking at things (in this case people) that I am attracted to. But, it doesn’t mean that I would ever step outside of my relationship for one second; that’s not something I would ever even think about, or want to do. See, I love James with all my heart. He is the most beautiful, sexy, awesome lover/friend/partner that I could ever imagine. I consider myself the luckiest guy alive, because I found someone that really does compliment me well, and he is hot as hell, and we totally love each other.
Does that mean that I instantly shut off my eyes and stopped being attracted to other guys? NO! That’s silly to think that. But, it does mean, that as long as I am lucky enough to be with James, that James is the only man for me. Period. I love to look at men (James is a man too, you know), but I as far as actually being with another man? Nope. Not going to happen.
The reason I bring this up, is because I find that sometimes people hear that you are attracted to someone, or comment that someone is hot or whatever, and instantly that person thinks you would be willing to cheat on your partner; but I don’t understand that. I think that is why I wanted to write this post, was to get a perspective of what you all think. When your partner mentions someone else is attractive (or you mention it for that matter), what is your reaction? How does your partner react when you say someone is attractive/hot? James just needs acknowledgement that I think he is hot, and so that is what I give him. It’s a small thing that makes him feel good about the fact that I can be attracted to other men. I mean, all those of you out there that watch porn, isn’t that for some level of attraction? Don’t you find yourselves attracted to the people (well, at least with gay porn, they tend to use hot actors, I can’t speak of the men in straight porn) in the videos? Why is it that when we acknowledge our attraction, it is interpreted as a desire to cheat? Can’t we just think someone else is hot, and keep in in our pants? I know I can… but I guess I just wanted to know why people instantly think that? hmmm… thoughts? I know of at least one person that this issue pretty much destroyed his relationship (boyfriend was uber jealous because he acknowledged other men were hot, but he never cheated, nor gave him reason to believe he would), and I wanted to get some perspective here.
I know that I shouldn’t care what other people think, but all of us do, whether we admit it or not. And I guess I just don’t like people thinking that just because I think someone is hot, that I love my partner any less, and would be willing to cheat on him. Anyway… tell me what YOU think.
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