And spank me. Piss on me. Do what you will with me.
No, that wasn’t an invitation, it was just to start the conversation interestingly. See, this morning, I was thinking about what I have been doing at work lately. See, we read about people’s sexual histories and proclivities all day long. As great as that sounds, I honestly get tired of hearing about unhealthy sex practices. But that is not what I want to talk about. It has been a while since I talked about sex, and I thought that this was pretty interesting; at least one of my coworkers referred to alternative sexual practices as weird and frankly deviant. And, while I agree, I don’t see the allure of having someone piss on your face, I don’t agree that it is weird or deviant.
Now wait a second, okay, just hear me out. It took an awfully long time for me to A) become comfortable with my sexuality and sexual nature, and B) become comfortable enough with myself and my partner to ask for and do what I wanted sexually with him. To me, if you have the courage (and frankly the sense) to ask for what you want in bed (albeit that bed may be covered with rubber sheets), and do what you turns you on sexually, you are actually the furthest from deviant in my mind, you are what I would like to call fulfilled.
I believe that this belief stems from the belief that anything that isn’t missionary sex between a man and a woman is against religion, nature, or whatever. I believe that people use that “prime” example as the “standard” by which all people “should” operate, and as such, anything risque or different is seen as deviant and usually weird.
Take leather/S&M culture for instance. While I do think that a lot of those guys are insanely hot (but not as hot as my man), the idea of someone treating me like a slave or beating the shit out of me for pleasure gives me the willies. No, not the erect kind, the, please don’t beat me up, because I don’t like being in pain or being hit. Now, while that doesn’t work for me, it does for a lot of people, and it makes them feel good. It makes them happy. And who am I to judge and say that it is deviant behavior, just because I don’t participate in it? Well, I am here to say that I am not.
Same goes with the views on women (and frankly, straight men, for that matter) and sex. Women that enjoy sex are often viewed as sluts or whores, when in actuality, they are most likely just in touch with what is pleasurable to them, and they are probably a lot happier than those that are pointing the “hey, you’re a deviant” finger at them. Likewise, guys that freak out at the thought of a finger (or God forbid a dildo) up the ass because it might “make them gay” is just silly; if it feels good for you, then you have nothing to fear. If you don’t like it, fine, but doing it doesn’t make you gay. I bring this particular thing up, because I know that a lot of straight guys get excited about performing anal on girls, and a lot of girls just won’t go there, for whatever reason (they may not like it, just like you say you don’t, ever thought of that?). I know at least one girl that is in a relationship who’s boyfriend asked her to do anal and she said, “you first”, and he refused, and so did she. Now, while this is getting a bit off topic, it does beg to argue how we as society actually see sex and sexuality, and why we have such rigid thoughts about what is “right” in the bedroom, and what “isn’t”. It all stems from the same societal “norms” that are placed on sex that instantly cause many of the most pleasurable things to fall into the “I don’t even think so” deviant column.
I honestly find this extremely interesting, and would love to hear what you all have to say. What do you think about different types of pleasurable activities, i.e., non-vanilla sex? Do you see it as deviant, and, even more interestingly, would you yourself be open to maybe trying some of those things because of a slight curiosity? Do you talk to your partner(s) about what “gets you off”? Let’s talk about sex, yo… It’s motherfucking Friday, time for a sexy weekend, anyway!
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