Month: May 2006

all about me

maybe a little too much

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I feel kind of like I may be sharing too much; for the past couple of days, I have kind of been getting embarrassed about the whole depression/anxiety thing. I know that is stupid, but it is still happening, so it is causing me anxiety (oh the days of our lives…), so I am probably going to pull back a little bit. Don’t worry, I will still share too much I am sure, but just not for a little bit (maybe). Man, I am so indecisive.

Also, I meant to give props to my cousin Wendy over the weekend, but was so enamoured with the gift she sent me, I let time get away from me. On Friday, she called me and told me not to bid on the NES, because she would send me hers! So Saturday morning, I got a knock at the door, and it was the Fedex man with my “new” NES!!! SWEET! Thanks Wendy!! I have bought the following games on ebay: Super Mario 2 and 3, Kid Icarus, Metroid, Ducktales, and Kirby’s Big Adventure. Now, I just have to keep from letting the anticipation of their arrival overtake me!

funnies

the bowling circus

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Last night, we all went bowling. Upon our arrival at the bowling alley, we were excited to see many open lanes, which would mean no wait and instant bowling gratification. Unfortunately for us, a slight snag would hold up our gratification. We were placed on a waiting list, about 7 spots down. Um… why? I would say. Repeatedly. I noticed the 10 lanes free. We all did. So we decided we would get beers and wait it out. Pitchers flowed. Conversation flowed. And then, in walked the strangest group of people we had ever seen. Seriously, some even dubbed it, “A night out from the halfway house”. There was every kind of person you could imagine in this group, and it was then that we knew why the lanes were reserved; perhaps it WAS night out from the half-way house.

As the strangely fit and buff people made their way over to the reserved lanes, we began to make up stories about each of the interesting characters we saw. There was Christine, a former prostitute, who’s mother had sold her into white slavery 2 years ago. The man her mother sold her to was Ted, a man of 65, who was more of a father figure than slave owner to dear Christine. Perhaps the most interesting, was the guy that was literally covered from head to toe in Corona regalia. Knit cap, button up shirt, undershirt, pants, and I can imagine underwear and socks, were all emblazoned with Corona emblems, bottles, and images. His story, was that he is the bitter bastard son of the owner of Corona, and this is his silent protest at having no stake at the family fortune.

After we had a few laughs, James decided to ask one of the fittest people on earth what the deal with this group really was. Turns out, they were circus people. Performing in a show at the Fox. They do 9 shows a week. Now I know why they were so fit. Now I know why it was the strangest match up of a group I have ever seen. Now I know why Alan feared them. They were circus people.

As the night went on, they only got more interesting. These people really love to bowl, at least, their performance while bowling certainly suggests they do. I have never seen a group of people so animated and on fire with bowling as this group. Every roll elicited screams of joy and encouragement from the group. It was later identified that they were all so positive about life, and were all genuinely having a fantastic time with one another. Wow. All that happiness… Maybe I should join the circus.

all about me

good moods are weird

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Because they creep up at different times for the strangest reasons. Take this morning. My friend Cathy emails me a picture of her new house in Hawaii… I thought she was just going for a vacation. Turns out, she’s moving there. Um, can we say, “Please, please, please can we come visit?”. So I am going to see if I can work that… That would be AMAZING. AND, my sky miles would totally pay for the ticket. SWEET!

Second, I have been on this “must have” quest lately, and the thing that is set directly in my sights, is an original Nintendo system. I am talking the old school NES, that came out forever ago. So, I am bidding on one on Ebay. I hope I win, because I just can’t even wait. I want it now! And the games! Oh to play Ducktales, Bubble Bobble, Mario 3, and Kid Icarus again! Castlevania, Metroid… the list goes on and on! Nostalgia day! Keep you fingers crossed that I win; if I do, you can come over and we will have a Mario play off! MAJORLY COOL UPDATE: I just found this website, consoleclassix.com, and they have practically every game for NES, and you can play on your PC!!! It is kind of hard though, since you don’t have the controller, but what fun!! YEAH!

Third, to reward me for my help in editing papers and stuff, James is getting me some Seven for all Mankind jeans. Um, excited? YES! I can’t wait… I have 3 pairs at home that I CAN’T wear because of my fat ass. But new ones will fit, because I can get a bigger size. Here’s hoping!

So basically, I guess good moods don’t come from weird directions, they come from BUYING THINGS!!! Man, if I won the lottery, I would never be depressed again, because I could buy things and make myself feel better. Wow, is that a shallow thing to say? Nah! We all know nice shiny new things make us happy; even if it is only for a little bit. Either way, hope everyone else is having a great Cinco de Mayo. Also, make sure that you all go and say a big Happy Birthday to Hakeber!!!! Happy Birthday Hakeber!!

all about me

enough about me, let’s talk about me

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A few days ago, Wendy asked me some more questions when I proclaimed that I was answering the last of the questions from that open thread a week or so ago, so today, I want to address them. See, I think that this is interesting, because it gives you guys a chance to ask me things that I would never think to write about, and in a way, can provide you with more insight into me, I guess. Or, it is just self indulgent. Or, I just don’t have anything else to write about. Either way, let’s get started, shall we?

The first question was: If you and James could move to any place in the world where would you go and why?
Wow. That is a tough one. To be honest, I don’t know, and I don’t think I will ever know. Reason being, I have never been able to live my life like that; just thinking like that, I mean. Basically, I live in Atlanta, because I came here for grad school, and hopes of working where I work now. There is no other reason I came here, seriously. If I went somewhere else, there would probably need to be a draw (job, James wanted to move there, something like that) there, otherwise I doubt I would move there. There are a few places I have been; like San Francisco, London, Lyon (just outside of Paris), to name a few, that I wouldn’t mind visiting again, but I wasn’t there long enough to say that I would want to live there. Maybe though. Is that indecisive enough? Jeez…

Question two: What one thing in your life has changed you the most and why?
Not to be cliche’, but honestly, it was coming out. For the first time in my life, I knew who I was, and I was proud of it. My WHOLE LIFE people have picked on me for being more effeminate than a Marlboro man, they have poked fun at how I was shorter, daintier, more awkward, had a higher pitched voice, you name it, and people have picked on me for it. Until I finally came to terms with who I was, and came out and realized that I actually wasn’t wrong, broken, or different, and actually realized that there were TONS of people like me, I had never felt like myself. I had always felt like something was wrong with me, and that was because everyone was telling me there was something wrong with me. When I did come out, I felt good for the first time. I realized that all of that crap those people had put me through was not because there was something wrong with me; I am who I am, and that just happens to be gay. And that is normal. And let’s face it, being gay is way more exciting than being straight. (Just kidding straight people… no I’m not!) But seriously, I think coming out is when I really began my life. That is when I started being me, and I look at the time before as the journey to get to myself. A shitty, fucked up journey where people were meaner than hell, and nastier than Satan’s asshole; but a journey none the less. Now I am here, and growing every day, and I love that. If there’s nothing else, at least I am being me, and that is great.

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the catch-all-egory

a wednesday mish-mash

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— I am sad today; two good friends (and their partners too, I am not forgetting them) are going through pain. I hope they feel better soon. One is physical, and the other emotional, and I hope they both feel better soon. Love and kisses. Things like this make me think about how fortunate I am, and it bugs me that I am not happier about that fortune.

— Last night I watched the Notebook. Goddamn that is a good movie. Too bad it made me cry like a little girl. As deb suggested, it is probably best not to watch intensely emotional movies when you are depressed. But it is a great movie though! How could I resist?

— Thanks for all of the suggestions yesterday about thwarting thieves. The whole thing just makes me feel violated, and even more pissed because we try to make the neighborhood nicer, and this is the thanks we get. And landmines may be a bad idea, I tend to be forgetful, and I would hate to stumble drunk in the yard one night and find one. Or if Sydney found one… that would be bad. I will just hope they got what they needed and won’t come back. Here’s hoping. And that maybe they will just go and steal all of that sod at the house one street over. A sweeter treat nearby is bound to work in our favor; I hope. Side note: you guys’ comments made James feel better, so thanks for that!

— A friend of mine, deb, has come up with a cool little thing for us to do; we are going to make a mix cd only with songs that we would never hit skip or next, if they were to come up on the ipod or in the car. This means, you ALWAYS want to hear that song. I think this is going to be interesting. In fact, post some of the songs that fit that criteria for you… I would love to know what you guys’ must hear songs are!!

— Sweetwater today. God I love going there.

— I had something else… but it’s gone. Oh well!

venting

seriously, $40 worth of azaleas? SERIOUSLY?

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James calls me this morning for my usual morning wake up call, and he was all upset for some reason. Turns out, someone came in the middle of the night and stole 4 or 5 of our azalea bushes that we had planted on the hill beside our house. They came, dug them up, and took them. Seriously. They dug up our landscaping and took it.

Now, the part of this that makes me the maddest, is that James has spent countless hours (and money) in the yard trying to make the place look decent. We were finally getting it to look great, and shit like this happens. I just can’t believe that spineless fuckers like that just want to take what you have worked hard to have. Does no one respect people anymore? I know for a fact that I have never stolen anything (well, other than that pack of M&M’s when I was little, which I had to march back into the store, and not only pay for, but my mom made me put back… so I definitely knew stealing was a NO NO), and why? Because I knew it wasn’t mine. And even more so, because I know that the person that I would be taking from doesn’t deserve to have their shit jacked, just because I want it. See, it doesn’t work that way, if you want shit, you have to go and buy it, or have someone give it to you, and we definitely are not giving our landscaping to any old asshole who rolls up in the yard and wants it.

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