If homosexuality is a choice, then so is heterosexuality; you can’t have it both ways

Basically, this post is a venting that comes from a back and forth “debate” I have been in with someone calling themselves “right winger”, on the Boy Scouts post from a few days ago. Basically, this person has taken it upon themselves to inform me that homosexuality is a choice, and that it is wrong. Even though I have informed right winger that to say that is ignorant and judgemental, s/he still insists that homosexuality is a choice and is, again, wrong (according to his/her beliefs), and that because other people have those beliefs, that is isn’t ignorant or bigoted. Well, this may come as a shock, but I wholeheartedly disagree; and here’s why.

Homosexuality is no more a choice than heterosexuality. I know this, because I didn’t choose to be homosexual; I just am. The same way that people that are heterosexual are just heterosexual. To suggest that homosexuality is a choice, is suggesting that heterosexuality is also a choice, and I don’t think that is something that heterosexuals like right winger are prepared to own up to. Right winger compares the “choice” of homosexuality and the participation in homosexual behavior to things like alcoholism and smoking, but what right winger doesn’t seem to understand, is that even alcoholism has ties to genetics, and it also suggests that if a heterosexual man were given enough penis, and exposure to homosexual activity, then he would potentially develop an addiction (pun definitely intended) to it and “turn” homosexual. I doubt that right winger would want to admit that part, though.

But enough of trying to simply rebuke the ignorant statements made by right winger, I would like to turn our attention to actual evidence that homosexuality is no more a choice than eye color or skin tone. The American Psychological Association says:

There are numerous theories about the origins of a person’s sexual orientation; most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person’s sexuality. In summary, it is important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person’s sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people.

So it is a complex interaction of environment, cognitive, and biological factors that determine homosexuality. That last one seems like it isn’t something you get to decide to me. I am sure that the age at which someone understands their sexuality, and the level at which they express it is determined by environment (i.e. being raised in a tolerant home vs. being raised in a bigoted one), but even the APA is saying that it is more complex than simply influence; there’s a genetic predisposition for it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think you can choose your genetics. And even if you could, that is only a part of it, at least, according the APA. Additionally, the APA indicates that homosexuality is not a choice, and cannot be changed. I for one trust the APA more than a bible toting preacher from the black-hating church down the street. I would think the APA are more tolerant and less judgemental, and um, also they are doctors and real scientists; not just opinionated so and sos.

As someone who is gay, I can honestly say that regardless of what caused me to be this way, it wasn’t because I woke up one morning and decided to be gay. I was born gay, and was able to fully understand and accept who I am after years of struggling to find myself. Trust me, if I could have skipped all that shit because I was banging a cheerleader in high school, I would have. Being gay is tough, and it is always the ignorant heteros that are so quick to forget about that; or did you forget that you were the ones calling me a faggot all those years, and making me want to kill myself because I thought something was wrong with me? This of course does not apply to all heteros, because I know that all of you do not share these negative views of homosexuals and homosexuality; so just ignore that last part, umkay?

Lastly, we also must consider that homosexuality is not exclusively a human trait. In fact, homosexuality occurs naturally in nature everywhere you turn. Interestingly enough, one of our closest genetic species, the bonobo ape, has been well documented as regularly participating in, and maintaining homosexual activity and relationships. The reason why this is so important, is that without the same environmental factors that people argue “cause” homosexuality, these apes are still being homosexual! These apes have a more fluid sexual identity, and participate in activities that feel right to them; what instinctively they feel most comfortable with. It seems that even in nature, homosexuality is natural, and comes instinctively. As humans with our incessant need to classify and explain things, we tend to shy away from the gray areas that exist in our lives, and deny that our sexuality is very similar, and that there is fluidity that many of us embrace, while others shun. If this is the reason why you believe that homosexuality is wrong and is choice, because you have homosexual tendencies and choose to deny them, well, then that is a whole different ball game, and a whole lot of therapy in your future. Homosexuality isn’t a check yes or check no type of thing; there are varying levels and degrees of everything, and it just happens to be at one end of the spectrum. I suggest looking at Kinsey’s work for more on that scale.

Finally, I want to express why I felt the need to discuss this in this incredibly long post today. It makes me defensive and frankly hurt when someone even suggests that something I have struggled my whole life with, and continue to struggle with today (via bigoted legislation, hurtful judgement of others, etc) is something I chose to go through. Saying so indicates a apathetic view of what gays and lesbians struggle with, and is frankly hateful. Additionally, to suggest that there is something wrong with me, is not something I will just take and move on. I am sick and tired of being treated like shit because of who I am, and I’ll be damned if I will take it lying down. Being gay is obviously not a choice to someone who is gay, mainly because they know what it means, and how it as effected and will continue to affect their lives. Those that judge, scorn, and place ignorant claims on me and who I am should know that I won’t take it lightly, and I will not just let it go; but the sad thing is, many people like this right winger are never going to be able to see past their own pathetic selves, and we’re the ones that have to put up with their ridicule. Well, at least I can say something about it… that at least makes me feel a little better.

Thanks for paying attention.