enough about me, let’s talk about me

A few days ago, Wendy asked me some more questions when I proclaimed that I was answering the last of the questions from that open thread a week or so ago, so today, I want to address them. See, I think that this is interesting, because it gives you guys a chance to ask me things that I would never think to write about, and in a way, can provide you with more insight into me, I guess. Or, it is just self indulgent. Or, I just don’t have anything else to write about. Either way, let’s get started, shall we?

The first question was: If you and James could move to any place in the world where would you go and why?
Wow. That is a tough one. To be honest, I don’t know, and I don’t think I will ever know. Reason being, I have never been able to live my life like that; just thinking like that, I mean. Basically, I live in Atlanta, because I came here for grad school, and hopes of working where I work now. There is no other reason I came here, seriously. If I went somewhere else, there would probably need to be a draw (job, James wanted to move there, something like that) there, otherwise I doubt I would move there. There are a few places I have been; like San Francisco, London, Lyon (just outside of Paris), to name a few, that I wouldn’t mind visiting again, but I wasn’t there long enough to say that I would want to live there. Maybe though. Is that indecisive enough? Jeez…

Question two: What one thing in your life has changed you the most and why?
Not to be cliche’, but honestly, it was coming out. For the first time in my life, I knew who I was, and I was proud of it. My WHOLE LIFE people have picked on me for being more effeminate than a Marlboro man, they have poked fun at how I was shorter, daintier, more awkward, had a higher pitched voice, you name it, and people have picked on me for it. Until I finally came to terms with who I was, and came out and realized that I actually wasn’t wrong, broken, or different, and actually realized that there were TONS of people like me, I had never felt like myself. I had always felt like something was wrong with me, and that was because everyone was telling me there was something wrong with me. When I did come out, I felt good for the first time. I realized that all of that crap those people had put me through was not because there was something wrong with me; I am who I am, and that just happens to be gay. And that is normal. And let’s face it, being gay is way more exciting than being straight. (Just kidding straight people… no I’m not!) But seriously, I think coming out is when I really began my life. That is when I started being me, and I look at the time before as the journey to get to myself. A shitty, fucked up journey where people were meaner than hell, and nastier than Satan’s asshole; but a journey none the less. Now I am here, and growing every day, and I love that. If there’s nothing else, at least I am being me, and that is great.

Next: I’m sure your childhood sucked as bad as mine did – but what is one thing you learned from each parent that means a lot to you now and why??
OOOOoooo… I bet my therapist has a notepad out right now… (and probably for good reason, this is doozy) Um, honestly, the single most “important” thing that I learned from my parents growing up, is honestly, you can’t truly count on anyone but yourself. (I used “” marks, because I obviously think this is a “lesson” many people shouldn’t have to learn from their parents) Now, that may sound really harsh, and it kind of is, but that is a lesson they taught me, using what my mom called “tough love”, and it is something that I still feel today. I know that it isn’t totally true; there are people that you can count on, in fact, I have several in my life, but it is something that I learned from them, and still find to be true in a lot of situations today. Sometimes people that you need aren’t there for you, and in those situations, you have to learn to deal; and I did and I still do. Now that it is a little awkward after reading that, let’s move on, shall we?

Last but not least: What would be your DREAM job – if you had a choice??
Honestly? Right now, I would have to say, nothing. If I could win the lottery, and just hang out all the time, I would do it until I got so bored that I had to go and do something. I know in my heart that it probably wouldn’t last more than a month or so, but right now, I feel like that is what I want. After that month of nothing, I would probably start my own business. Maybe a CD shop. Maybe a brewery. Maybe a community based organization working with people and helping people get things they needed and get services. Wait, did I say the brewery already? I’ll stick with that as my final answer. That would be an awesome job. Then I could say things like, “Of course I’m drinking… beer’s my business”, and I would mean it. That would be so unimaginably cool. I just would love to do something that didn’t stress me out, was fun to do, and provided me with enough income to do other things I wanted. I don’t want to be insanely wealthy, I just don’t want to have to worry about paying bills and buying shit. Just about any job that fits those parameters would work for me.

And that’s it! If you guys want to ask more questions, feel free to do so. After all, we all learned a little bit today, didn’t we?

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