Month: March 2006

is it just me?

cold feet

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But it isn’t just cold feet; the tattoo is just too big. I am going to try and get a different proposal today; if that doesn’t work, I am going to have to talk him into doing something else tomorrow. I have given this a lot of thought, and while I do love the design, it is just too big, too much for right now. Emotionally, financially, and realistically, this is definitely something I want to build into; if I want a half sleeve, that is fine, I can build into it over time. This tattoo is just too massive for me to take on… but I will make sure that he makes it something I can add to if I want. How does that sound? I am sure there are several *sighs* going on out there… It doesn’t make me a chicken though, does it?

No more seeking approval though, I promise… It really is just too big. More on this later.

Clarification (in case you need it): I AM getting the tattoo… it is just the MAIN KOI that is too big for me, everything else works! I am going to get him to shrink that koi some, and all will be good! Word!

UPDATE!: I put up some pictures of all my other tattoos. Check out the fact file; it is about 3/4 of the way down under “Number of Tattoos”.

listen up!

tattoo facts about duane

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So, um, I think that some people are really freaking me out on the comments about the tattoo (yes, it is bigger than I had imagined), so I thought a diagram and explanation of some tattoo facts regarding yours truly were in order. Let me begin. Here is the picture posted yesterday, with more of a detailed description of what the sketches that were drawn on are supposed to represent. The tattoo will look NOTHING like this; it is what he used to sketch out the design placement on my arm.

So you see, it will be a main koi fish with ginko leaves, water, and a smaller koi; not a penis or anything phallic. But thanks for thinking that I would get a huge cock tattooed on my arm.

Second, this will be my 6th tattoo. All of the tattoos I have are kind of small, and I don’t really want to go the road of trying to connect several small tattoos together where I may be interested in having a half sleeve at some point. The artist showed me what works best with the curvature of my arm, and told me that I should go this big and that I wouldn’t be sorry. I am thinking that he is right. I pretty much made the decision last night that I like the design, and that the only thing holding me back is myself. I am going to try my hardest not to let that happen, as I have always held myself back from doing what I really wanted to do in life. Not this time. Tattoo is all I have on the brain, so that is what we will be talking about until Saturday.

And, you get to see the whole process unfold, as it will take several sittings. Any more questions? How about revised thoughts on the design or how big it is?

the catch-all-egory

tattoo consultation; amongst other things

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So today, I have a consultation for my tattoo… exciting, and yet nerve wracking. I haven’t said anything, because it really hasn’t sunk in, but I will be getting the tattoo on Saturday… Lots going through my head right now, like “I hope I like the design this guy does for me” and “I just want it to be healed already!” and “I hope I like the design this guy does for me”… stuff like that. I will let you know how the consultation goes this afternoon; I have never had a person draw up a tattoo design especially for me, so I am pretty excited. Ginko leaves and Koi fish; here I come!

Also, I turned off comment moderation. Happy?

And finally, I was mistaken, everyone seems to like the idea of being woken up by someone licking their butt. That is an interesting statement about the readers of this here blog… and I quite like what it says. So, uh, I guess, enjoy!

UPDATE: So here’s a cheesy picture of me to illustrate the tattoo proposal (he sketched it on me); I don’t think that many of you realized that I was getting a big one… either way, what do we think? Seriously? Is it TOO big? I kinda feel that it is pretty large, and whatnot, but I also think that it is going to look really good. Thoughts?

UPDATE2: Because kat suggested it, here’s a picture of me with the tattoo proposed design with a tougher, meaner face. Does it make it more believable?

venting

now, don’t hate me, but…

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I hate Blogger. Hate it. It goes down all the time. You can’t leave comments sometimes. And then, the worst are the people that have awesome blogs (see, a compliment!) that turn off the “anonymous” comment feature (hey, I’m not anonymous, I am just not a “Blogger” blogger!). What is up with that? You don’t think my comments are good enough because I use something other than a free blog engine? See, the reason why I hate that, is because, to be honest, I don’t visit those blogs again, and some of them are really good. And that sucks! Plus, I feel like I am not welcome, and that never feels good. Anyway… Long story short, if you want some help moving to movable type (or even wordpress), hit me up! They are much better than Blogger, (but they do cost money… unless you can find free hosting, then rock on!). I think everyone deserves to be free of the Blogger hold. Or, just turn off that feature; because you can moderate comments… I get spammed too, and I deal with it just fine!! That would at least be enough to placate me, and you may even find out I have something insightful (or not) to add to your conversation. After all, that is what blogging is for, right? Interaction and feedback on your thoughts? Exactly.

If you allow “anonymous” (again, I’m not anonymous!) comments on your blog, this does not pertain to you… so no whining. Okay, a little whining, but only a little.

UPDATE: Since all you bitches hate comment moderation (I say bitches in a good way)… I am, gasp, turning it off. We’ll see how long it lasts… if I have to, I will add more plugins, but I noticed that the junk moderator is catching almost all of them; hold, while I run to knock on wood. Maybe, this will make us all happy (including me).

the catch-all-egory

sexsomnia!!!!

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I just watched a video on cnn.com discussing sexsomnia, a condition in which people have (or attempt to have) sex while they are asleep. While it may sound silly, and somewhat strange, I actually know someone who has (or had? I don’t know now…) this: my ex. I don’t really care to name names or call anyone out, but during our relationship, I was awakened several times with my ex trying to go downtown, if you get what I mean. Someone trying to lick your butt is never a pleasant way to wake up.

Funny thing is, he went on a trip with his dad, and they couldn’t sleep in the same bed, because he was worried that he would try to perform sleeping sex acts on his dad. That is just too much, folks. I guess the moral is to watch out for sexsomniacs… they may try to blow you while you are sleeping. (should that be converted into a PSA? just wondering…)

Hope your Monday is going awesome. I wish I were still at home!

mixed media

take the good, you take the bad, take them both and there you have the facts of life…

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Yep, that’s what you might hear coming from my cell phone in the future; because I have gone crazy for nostalgic TV themes. It all started last night when I added… wait for it… the Golden Girls theme song as one of my ring tone options. Now, when someone calls me, you get, “thank you for being a friend…”; um, let’s just hope that I am not at Target or somewhere, and I am not able to get to my phone in time, you know what I mean, and I have to fumble for the damn thing while that song blares out and everyone stares. You know how you have that cute little ringtone on your phone, and then you actually get a call, and everyone is staring at you because you have the Golden Girls theme song blaring from your phone. You know what they are thinking, it is in their eyes: He. Is. So. Effin. Gay. Well, in this case, they would be right; I mean, who else would choose the Golden Girls theme song as their ringer? Here’s the other ones that I am going to add tonight:
Thundercats (HO!)
Family Ties
Growing Pains
Facts of Life
Perfect Strangers
Who’s the Boss (come on, I know I am stretching here, but it is fun)
Northern Exposure
Laverne and Shirley
Knight Rider
Dallas
Charlie’s Angels

Any other suggestions of must have show themes that I need to further embarrass myself for not other reason than just to do it; and to solidify the notion that strangers may think that I am gay with no other information than my ringtone? I’m all ears!

I also added some Joan Crawford wallpapers, and some Jake ones as well… Man, I love technology!

well?

“Making friends as an adult is a lot like dating. Don’t you think?”

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That is the last line from the comments on this post, where I was pondering the dynamic of friends and friendships; both in development and maintenance of individual and group friendships. I said that I would come back to this topic, and I didn’t realize it had been so long since I wrote the original post; so I hope that you’re able to keep going with me…

The reason I chose Karen’s statement, is because that is exactly how I feel. A lot of other people identified that they were in close friend groups, a lot of people said they didn’t have any friends, pretty much the whole gamut was expressed, much as I expected. But, what I didn’t expect, is that most people didn’t identify why they held on to these friends, and why those friend groups still thrived. I think that Karen’s statement of comparing gaining and keeping friends as an adult to dating is spot on; it takes work on both of your part to find out whether you are compatible, and eventually, you have to start calling each other back. I find that is why I think many of my friend groups have drifted apart, a little bit of drift came from a lot of not calling people back, and it spiralled out of control. Simple as that. And the weird thing is, it is never just one person, it is a combination of everyone doing it at different times.

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funnies

(insert masculine grunts here)

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Looking back: Anniversary (2 years and 6 months, ya’ll) “surprises” = excuse to buy, and install, double towel bar that we have been needing forever.

Tools required for installation:
1 insanely powerful drill that can rip off hand if you hold on to the thing that secures the bit too long.
1 double towel bar from Target, simple, and yet understated.
1 orange level, because I love orange, and it does need to be level or I will be tempted to rip it out of the wall every time I walk in the bathroom.
3 drill bits; because the first and second tries at making the toggle bolts go in were not successful.
four 6 toggle bolts; yes, I use them, because they are stronger than the crappy dry wall screws that came in the pack. Yes, you have to drill a pretty big hole in the wall just to use them. Yes, there are two that are inside the wall now. And yes, I hang everything in the house with them, because those damn dry wall anchors couldn’t hold a sock to the wall.
1 hour of frustration, cursing, moving it over another inch even though I used the pack in came in as a template, moving it over another centimeter (even though I used the pack it came in as a template); and drinking during and after the midpoint of the beginning to attempt “simply installing a towel bar”.

Result:
Towels. Are. Dry. (and not draped over the door or the shower bar).

It. Was. Worth it.

Unrelated link (but related to yesterday): I guess I’m fucked, huh?

near and dear

poopie day = a poem.

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Sometimes, we just have poopie days; nothing is wrong, I just find myself anxious and whatever again… pay no mind. I wrote a poem though!

Bound by burdens,
Bored by boundaries,
I worry about floors and things.
I worry about lives and rings,
I worry too much.
All I see is new to me,
Unreal to me,
Too far from me.
All I feel is sinking appeal
To a thoughtless, heartless beast.
Burdened and beaten day after day,
I try and search for a different way,
But my own worry holds me,
I am chained to always remain,
In my cycle of indecisiveness.
Blinded by blackness
Burdened by boredom,
I halfheartedly search for truth
I make small tears and split fine hairs,
And convince myself I’ll find it.
Still unsure of a lot of things,
Anxious about what futures bring,
I lose sight of the mundane,
I can’t feel the air that’s everywhere,
And I constantly feel without.
A burden to bear
Is my life where,
I fruitlessly bumble about.
It’s sadder than sad,
And it makes me mad,
That I can’t, don’t, or won’t pull out
But the fact is,
That right now,
I honestly just don’t know how.

Alright, I know, I know, that sounds a little depressing, but seriously, writing poems is cathartic… don’t we all feel better? Anyways… hope everyone else is having a kick ass Tuesday.