groups of friends: real, or imagined?

Today, I was sitting here looking at some pictures on flickr, when it totally struck me; I don’t feel like I have a “stable” “friend group” anymore. The pictures I was looking at, were of a group of friends all having fun, and celebrating birthdays, new years, etc. While I do know, and am grateful, that I have many friends (some of which I haven’t had the privilege to meet IRL yet… that’s you blog-buddies!), I just don’t feel like I have that sense of a “group” that I used to. It is a weird realization, I guess, but I just wonder; was it ever really a group, or did we just happen to all hang out at the same time? What about our “group” made us go in different directions, so much so that we don’t hang out that much any more? And finally what does it take to remain “in” the group, and are we, or were we ever really, a group?

I must say, that the past 4 months or so has been awesome for me. I have done things that I have never done before socially; I have gone out on a limb to meet people, and it has actually turned out very well. I have embraced my hobbies, and allowed it to take me to meet new people; and I couldn’t be happier that I did.

With that being said, I feel like there is a chance I may be in the process of developing a new “group” of friends, but this time, it is different, as there are several “mini-groups” that exist within the main group of people that I call friends. This time, making friends is related to different factors (interests, hobbies, coolness… alright, I had to say it); as opposed to the similarity in sexual orientation, as it was in the past (I have talked about this before, somewhere). I know that friends change, become closer, and some even drift apart; but I just wonder, what is in the dynamic of a group of friends that holds them together “forever”? Many people have those groups, and they do stuff with them constantly; and others, well, others may have lots of friends, but they are friends that make up and run in different circles (thus creating the “main friend group” and then dividing itself into the smaller “mini-groups”). I guess the whole reason that I decided to write about this, is because I am just curious what creates the dynamic of, and holds together a, tight-nit friend group; and how is that group maintained? What happens when the group moves in different directions? And, is it possible to merge groups of friends together; even though many people may be very different? Also, how does one initiate new friend groups, and “take the next steps” with friends they are in the beginning stages of making?

Inquiring minds want to know. Also, I wonder if those “groups” really exist, or are they created by our actions of hanging out together at the same time? How do you enter into, and or exit that group? Lastly, because I figure someone is wondering, if you want to know if you are one of these people I am talking about (i.e., current, future, hopeful friends), just ask… perhaps it will foster or build a stronger friendship, and we will form our own friend group; who knows, right?

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