Um, I didn’t realize how “running for the razors” I came across yesterday; so for that, I am sorry! I don’t want duanemoody.com to be that much of a downer… I guess we just all have those days where everything seems to be shitty. I do have to say that I thank all of your well wishes and stuff; and I do know that I am awesome, and that things in my life are totally awesome, and I have nothing to be upset about… I guess I just have one of those personalities where I worry about everything; and sometimes it gets the best of me. Either way; thanks for the love!
I thought it was funny (and super sweet) what Joseph said about me yesterday (sorry to call you out Joseph):
You know…after all your talking about how you need to diet and start “getting hot” i was totally expecting you to be a seriously obsese guy who just takes a really good picture. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that you actually are hot already!
First, let me say that you are so immensely sweet!!! Thank you!! No seriously, I really appreciate the compliment; that is why I called you out! I don’t want people to think that I am this crazy, thin person who acts like he is as big as a house (but takes a good picture). Let me explain…
I have a little fun thing called body dysmorphic disorder (who doesn’t these days?!); and I did go through about 2 years of my life where I was actually anorexic, so I see something totally different than most other people see when they look at me. I am always super critical over myself, and considering that I have actually gained about 20lbs since James and I first got together, I am just trying to get that under control. I don’t think that I am fat, but I do think that I could stand to lose a little weight. I think that it is something that I should examine within myself to prevent coming across that way; as someone who is so self loathing vs. someone who just wants to feel a little better about themselves. That is something that I want to stop doing; instead, I want to be more positive, and happy with who I am… it is just a hard thing to do sometimes! I think that this weight gain is definitely a factor; which is why… dun dun dun… I am going to give the Abs Diet a try. I am on it, as of yesterday. I have to eat 6 times a day (that is going to be hard for me); and I have to eat things like oatmeal (bleck!), eggs (ewww!!!), and other fun “power foods”. For the most part, I am excited to see if it delivers like it supposed to; and I will totally keep you all updated. Thanks to Eric for turning me on to the idea of the Abs Diet… If I don’t look hot by Pride, I am coming to get you in Canada bitch! Just kidding! I just want to slim down a little, and look my best. More so, it is to be healthy, and fit back into my old clothes than anything.
Wish me luck on this diet. Also, if any one has ideas on how to make oatmeal not taste and feel like vomit in my mouth, I am all ears. I have a big ass canister of that crap sitting on my counter with the Quaker guy staring me down when I walk by. I know that it is good for me, but that doesn’t change the vomity texture and taste it has. Please, help me on that… I have to eat a lot of that crap, and it ain’t gonna be easy!
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