In honor of Mariah’s success this year (did you hear, she has the top selling album of the year); and since so many people felt that I didn’t give Mariah the love she deserved (whatevs), I am bringing you “Shake It Off (Pillsbury DoughBoy Remix)”:
I gotta bake it off
Cause the cookies they ain’t playin’
You know I’m eating all my pain
Because your lovins gone away,
I just gotta bake, bake it off
Just like the Pillsbury commercial
I really gotta eat up in here
Don’t need to go nowhere
I gotta bake it off
Gotta make that move
To all the fattening foods
Appreciate all the chocolate that I have
Boy I’m gonna bake, bake it off
I’m gonna gain ten or twenty
cos boy I’m eating plenty
You know I gotta bake it off
Eat through that pain, girl! Congrats on 2005, Mariah! (I know Mariah is all thin and beautiful, so picture like a pre-stomach surgery Carnie Wilson covering it or something, geez).
And this in no way means I don’t like fat girls, so don’t even go there folks. Who else do you think helped me come out of the closet?
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